He was not sure what he had done to Saitou to make the wolf hate him so. They had been friends once, before Saitou had harshly turned his back on Haru. The wolf had protected him, had been his only friend and savior, and Haru had worked hard to please him. He had brought him flowers and candies, shared his lunches, and shown the other male his abilities whenever he had asked.
He had devoted himself to Saitou and then suddenly one day their friendship was over, leaving Haru broken and Saitou abruptly spending his time with a different crowd.
It had taken time for him to accept, to silence the fierce aching in his heart, but finally he had come to terms with it. He had realized the truth.
Their friendship had never been real, at least not for Saitou. Instead, it had been a game, a cruel joke aimed to show the
freak
what it was like to have a friend before viciously ripping it away from him.
Haru had learned a hard lesson that day and he had never sought out another friend, had never even entertained the thought of forming another similar relationship. He knew that he would not be able to take the betrayal when it came.
The sky was darkening by the time he got out of his last class of the week, his trip to the library overshadowed by clouds that promised rain. He would deal with that when he had to, but for now, he had an assignment to research and a secluded armchair in a dusty corner calling his name.
It was dark when he finished, the clouds busy delivering their promised bounty as he stared out of the glass of the library’s front door. He stared at his knapsack forlornly. It was the same one he had carried for most of the past ten years, its seams sown back together and patched so many times that he knew it would provide little to no protection for his books against the rain.
Huffing, he removed his threadbare jacket and wrapped it around the bag, cradling it in his arms.
He himself would get soaked, but the rain would not damage his secondhand clothes the way it would his books and supplies. It was a long run to his rooms and an even longer walk so he knew he did not have a choice. Getting soaked himself was a small price to pay for dry and undamaged study material.
Sucking in a deep breath, he lowered his head and sprinted out into the downpour. The rain was icy cold, seeping through his thin clothes in seconds, plastering them to his skin. He shivered harshly, but kept running, his inner sense of direction letting him know he was going in the right direction. He cut across the courtyard, trying to shave as much distance from his headlong run through the rain as he could. He barely noticed the figure standing under the umbrella on the cement path to his right.
“Wait!”
Haru skidded to a halt, his body reacting without his permission to that all-too-familiar voice. The mere sound of it was enough to freeze his body despite his wishes to the contrary.
Saitou.
He panicked inwardly, hoping that the rain would obscure the wolf’s sense of smell and that two years of separation would have dulled his memory enough so that he would not be recognized. He desperately did not want their confrontation to take place now when he had been caught off guard and trying so desperately to protect his things.
He could hear footsteps approaching him, the heavy and unsubtle stride he had always associated with Saitou. The wolf was too strong and too large at well over six foot to be forced to worry about being silent. He hunched his shoulders sharply and allowed his hair to drift forward across his face, partially to conceal himself and partially to cocoon his bag.
The downpour of rain halted above him despite the fact that he could still see it falling hard and fast in front of him. Saitou had covered him with his umbrella. Haru trembled. He did not have long before his natural scent would drift through his clothes. Protected as he was from the rain, there would be nothing to wash it away. A large warm hand descended onto his shoulder and Haru’s body lurched forward, scuttling away from Saitou and back out into the downpour.
“Hold on now! I’m not going to hurt you.”
Saitou’s voice was calm, a soothing timbre Haru had not heard since they were small. He found it almost ironic that he was hearing it now.
For years, he would have given anything to have Saitou speak to him like that again, but now all he wanted was to be elsewhere.
Haru stayed hunched, his eyes looking out past his hair and making contact with Saitou’s torso as he moved in front of him. He could practically feel himself beginning to bristle. A hand reached out for his chin and Haru shrunk back quickly, watching the outstretched appendage freeze and then fall from its place in the air. He heard a deep rumbling sigh above him. For just a moment, he peeked upward through his bangs, allowing himself the first glimpse of Saitou in two years.
Haru barely stopped himself from sucking in a harsh breath and alerting the much larger male to his observation. Saitou was gorgeous. He had always been handsome, first in that cute-young-boy way in grade school and then in the ruggedly appealing way in high school. Now, after all of this time, he was truly breathtaking. His copper hair tied in a long streaming tail that flowed down his back was proof of his heritage and status. His face had matured into the chiseled masculine beauty Haru had always known it capable of becoming. His mouth was full and yet still manly despite being pursed in displeasure and his amber eyes practically glowed in the night.
“I’m not altogether sure what it is that I have done to make you so afraid of me. I promise that despite my heritage, I do not bite unless invited.”
His tone was still calm despite the slight teasing tone that was buried within it.
Haru barely repressed his snort. Saitou might not bite uninvited, but he did claw, they all did, and Haru had the scars to prove it. He did not intend to give the wolf a chance to prove it to him again. He kept his head down and inched away from Saitou slowly, thankful that the rain was still falling.
“Stop trying to run from me! I’m only trying to help!”
It burst out of Saitou suddenly, startling Haru with its volume and the force behind it. He dashed forward, trying to rush past the larger male, but was brought up short by the thick, muscular arm that wrapped itself around his chest. He was pulled back sharply into Saitou’s tall, hot frame.
Haru could feel every burning inch of muscle through his too-thin, too-damp clothes and it set his own body aflame. Heat burned through him in a way it never had before, searing his blood vessels until he thought that surely the rainwater would steam off his skin.
Not stopping to think, his head jerked down and his teeth latched onto the skin of the arm that restrained him. Biting down with all of his might, he did not stop until he tasted blood and heard the accompanying yelp from behind him. Freedom attained, he wasted no time in darting forward through the rain. He was desperate to leave the now-cursing figure far behind him.
He ran with all of his might, hoping, praying that Saitou would not follow. Seeming to float to him on the breeze, barely audible over the rain that continued to pour down, he heard a voice.
“Oh, pup,” it said, laughter apparent in the tone, “that wasn’t a very nice thing to do.”
Haru refused to look back, secure in the knowledge that the only thing following him were Saitou’s haunting words.
Two days passed in which Haru once again managed to avoid everything and everyone. He stayed secluded in his room desperately ignoring the part of him that yearned for nature. The relaxing feel of the soft grass beneath his feet, the bliss of the sun on his skin and the wind in his hair. He preferred this prison to the torment that would follow should Saitou and his friends discover his housing arrangements. He knew that it would happen eventually, but if he was careful, he could ensure that his peace lasted for a while longer at least.
Finally he could stay secluded no longer, his classes forcing him from his rooms and back out into the world. He lingered for a moment by his front door, reaching down to pat the flowers that had flourished by his steps, watching as they seemed to lean into his touch. He was off then, his ragged bag clutched in his hands as he darted 1through the shadows and was careful to hide behind trees that seemed to try to aid him.
He managed to get to his first class undetected.
He found himself once again thanking the gods that he was majoring in Literature while the majority of Saitou’s group, including Saitou himself, was majoring in Political Science and Business. One of his more intelligent moments, in his own opinion, was when he had decided to arrange his own courses in order to avoid sharing classes with them.
He also knew if he was quick, he would be able to avoid them after class as well since he was sure they had already spread the news of his arrival to Saitou. He had no desire to face the wolf, especially after the way his body had reacted to the press of the other’s only a few nights before.
He was packed and out of the door of each of his classes seconds before the bell rang. He did not resist the urge to tear wildly down the halls in order to reach the safety of his next course. He continued like that for the rest of the day. By the time he was finally sprinting out of his last class and to the relative safety of the library, he was exhausted.
He was not sure if he could keep this routine up for the next two years, but he would be damned before he gave up now. Especially when it actually seemed to be working. Quietly, he slipped through the library doors, determined to not draw attention. All he wanted to do was slink back to his favorite chair, forget the world, and dive into the research necessary for his classes. He thought he had succeeded until suddenly the voice of the resident librarian called out.
“Young sir! Young sir, please wait a moment!”
The older female came bustling around the counter, headed directly toward him, a large cylindrical package in her hand.
His head still bowed in his customary pose, his voice was soft and polite. “Is there something you need?”
“Saitou left this for you.”
Haru jolted, his head flying up without his consent as his eyes made contact with those of the librarian. Her flinch brought him back to himself and he quickly lowered his head once again, heart pounding. Saitou had found him, knew who he was, and was probably plotting something vicious at this very moment.
“Well he didn’t exactly leave it to you by name or anything, but he came in here Saturday looking for someone and while I couldn’t give him a name, the description he gave matches you perfectly. He said that you would understand when you opened it.” Her hand reached out, package extended.
Haru had no choice but to accept.
She bustled away quickly, obviously disturbed by his presence.
Trembling, gaze darting around wildly, Haru turned and fled the library without another word, the package still clutched in his hand.
When he was safely home, doors and windows locked, and blinds drawn, he allowed himself to unwrap the package. He did so carefully, unable to quell his shaking hands. His gasp of surprise shattered the silence in the room. There, lovingly embraced by the brown packaging paper, was an umbrella. Unable to help himself, he carefully gathered it in his hands and, after a quick peek out the window, unbolted the door and stepped outside.
Hands gentle, he unfurled it, tears springing to his eyes unbidden as the bamboo slates spread themselves out and fully displayed their beautiful design. There was a river, so blue and clear it was unreal, surrounded by cherry blossoms of the purest and most beautiful pink. Yet what astounded him was the last piece. Lying stretched out in all of its glory upon the bank of the river lay a large copper-colored wolf asleep in the sun.
Sobs ripped through him, catching him unaware. His hands fumbled to close the umbrella as he rushed back inside, locking the door before flinging himself face down upon the bed, his unexpected gift still cradled in his arms. It was obvious now that Saitou did not know who he was, that the rain and the night had successfully disguised him. It seemed as if luck was finally on his side and that the others had not thought to give the wolf an actual physical description. He knew that such a magnificent gift would never have been meant for him.
Saitou had simply done a beautiful thing for a complete stranger he had met in the rain. It was not meant for the friend he had long ago abandoned, for the young boy he had tormented for so long. No matter the reason, Haru knew that he would cherish the gift, that he would keep it safe and dry in his rooms. He would rather run through the rain than to have a single drop touch that beautifully painted scene, no matter how much protection it had upon it.
It would be his secret joy, something that he would never take outside out of fear that it would be recognized. Despite the fact that he knew it had not been intended for him, it would help to sustain him through the years to come. A gesture of kindness to a stranger that would get him through the years of aching loneliness. It would be enough, more than he had hoped for and yet far less than he had ever dreamed.
It would have to be enough.
Tears still chocking his air, Haru cried until he was exhausted. He cried for his past, for his present, for the future that he knew would come.
The loneliness that he was sure to face then as he faced it now. He cried until he had nothing left, until he drifted off into a restless sleep, umbrella still cradled gently in his arms.
"Goodbye!” Haru called out happily to the leaning umbrella inside of his rooms as he closed and locked the door. He knew that it was foolish, knew that it would be deemed unhealthy by others, but he was alone so he did not really care. The umbrella had been with him for the weekend and already he was treating it like a person, talking to it, telling it his secrets and his thoughts. It sounded silly, but it helped to alleviate some of the crushing loneliness that he felt each day.
He was out early this morning, a summons to the administration office making his nerves act up even despite the fact that he knew he had done nothing wrong. He tried to calm himself, refusing to get upset before he even knew the problem.