A Wolf for Haru (6 page)

Haru took a step and then another, each taking him closer and closer to the wolf’s open hand. He didn’t know if he was making the right choice or not. There was always the chance that this could end badly, that he would leave this situation more damaged than he already was. Yet it was a chance that he was willing to take, something that he was willing to gamble on. He had once had such faith in Saitou and it had made his life so wonderful.

He would take this chance and if Saitou proved him wrong, then Haru would know without a shadow of a doubt that he had tried. Haru knew that if he was not even willing to reach for the one thing he wanted most, then he did not deserve it.

Trembling, he reached out and placed his hand in Saitou’s, breathing deeply as the wolf enveloped him in a scorching embrace. “You have one chance, Saitou. Only one. This time I’ll leave and you will never find me.” He was being truthful. If Saitou betrayed him once again he would run and there would be nothing left of him for Saitou to track down.

“I’ll never need another chance, Haru, only this one. Just promise me that you will hold onto me as tightly as I will to you,” Saitou whispered into his ear.

Nodding, he agreed. He was determined that in this particular situation he would hold onto everything that he could.

Their situation was not an easy one to accept. In fact, things were in many ways more than slightly awkward. Haru was unsure how to act around Saitou. Scared of being hurt once again, he was afraid to be totally himself. Yet at the same time, he was unwilling to close himself off completely and loose Saitou because he had not tried. This all left Haru stuck somewhere painfully in the middle.

Saitou seemed to be having just as difficult a time. He confessed that he had been prepared to beg and grovel in his own way for days on end.

Haru’s rather easy acceptance of him into his space threw him for a bit of a loop. Desperate not to ruin things or accidentally hurt his smaller companion, he was also having a hard time figuring out what to do.

They danced around each other for the rest of the morning and well into the afternoon before Saitou finally took his leave. Haru spent the rest of the day staring at his wall in confusion, part of him glad to be alone and the other part already missing Saitou. What was left of the day passed quickly until Haru was jolted out of his daze by a loud knock on his door. He was unsurprised when it opened a moment later to reveal a fresh-looking Saitou with what appeared to be an overnight bag.

“I know that it is presumptuous of me to arrive as such, but I did not wish to spend the night without you. If it is alright, I would like to stay. I am more than willing to take the floor.” Saitou smiled slightly.

It was a slightly sheepish expression that Haru had never seen before. He had always been so cocksure, even when they were children.

Unable to deny the wolf what they both seemed to need, he nodded quietly and watched as Saitou stepped forward and the door swung shut behind him. Unable to sit still, Haru flittered around his rooms, making tea and straightening clutter in a desperate attempt to burn off his nervous energy.

Saitou followed his every move with watchful, caressing eyes that did nothing to calm the younger male’s nerves. Finally unable to take it any longer, Haru spoke. “Please stop.” His words were hushed, whispered almost in fear as he finally sat down on the end of the bed.

“Stop what, Haru?” Saitou waited for a moment, but when he received no answer, moved forward fluidly to kneel at Haru’s feet. His hand cupped Haru’s chin and coaxed it upward until their eyes once again met. “Look at me, Haru. Stop what?”

“The staring. I-I can’t breathe o-or think when you do that,” Haru stammered his reply, blushing deeply at being forced to admit that Saitou’s gaze unnerved him.

The wolf chuckled, a deep husky noise that sent shivers down his spine. “I cannot help but stare at you, Haru. You are a feast for my eyes, entrancing, hypnotizing. Since we first met I have wanted to do nothing but gaze at you and every day that we were apart simply fed that hunger.”

Haru could feel his own eyes widening at those words, at the yearning that was barely disguised behind them. Hesitating slightly, he leaned forward and, with more bravery than he had ever thought himself to possess, laid his lips gently against Saitou’s. They stayed that way for a moment, simply staring at each other with lips pressed firmly together and breathing shallow.

Right when Haru was beginning to believe he had made a mistake, Saitou’s eyes seemed to slip closed of their own accord and a deep groan rumbled through the wolf’s chest.

The hands that had been gently cradling his face slid upward and wove their way into the thick strands of his hair. Their heads and mouths moved as one, tilting and opening together as Saitou’s tongue came forward to slip past Haru’s lips. It was the first time they had done so since the truth had been revealed and it was glorious.

They moaned together, both seemingly overcome by the ecstasy of their first real kiss.

Haru buried his own hands in Saitou’s sumptuous fall of hair, the strands like cool fire.

Kissing Saitou and knowing that Saitou was kissing him and not some unknown stranger was unlike anything Haru had ever experienced before. Saitou pressed him backward until he lay stretched out across the end of the bed, the wolf hovering hungrily overtop him, their tongues still entangled. A strong muscled thigh pressed against him and he felt his own part without a second thought. He felt himself harden and a whimper being ripped from his throat as Saitou fitted their hips together snuggly.

The kiss ended and they were both short of breath, panting as they stared into each other’s eyes. Saitou untangled one of his hands from Haru’s hair and trailed it down the side of his face, tracing the scar he had left there so long ago. Haru stilled, the action reminding him of the last time it had happened. It amazed him that it had been only that morning. It felt as if it had all been a dream.

“I believe that I did not explain myself well enough this morning. When I told you that this scar pleased me, I did not mean that I enjoyed the pain behind it. Do you remember what happened that day?” Saitou asked the question gently.

Haru knew that the subject was important to the wolf and that somehow it would be important to him as well. He remembered the day he got the scar, he had tried for years to forget it, but the memory continued to haunt him.

The wind was crisp and cold, the snow in the park
undisturbed outside of his lone footprints. Haru had
always found winter relaxing. The humming of nature
that distracted him the rest of the year was only a sleepy
murmur as the world around him rested. This year was
different as he was almost desperately awaiting the end
of the quiet months. He missed the rambunctious
company nature provided. Still the sleepy energy of the
plants buried beneath the snow was better than
nothing. He knew that without his gift his world would
have been consumed by oppressive silence.

He still did not know what had changed, why Saitou
had chosen to cut all ties with him those few years ago,
all he truly had were his suspicions. Haru only knew
that nothing, no amount of torment or bullying from
the others, compared to the pain of that betrayal. It still
pained him. He had never expected Saitou to turn on
him, to ignore him and disregard their friendship so
easily. Sighing, he tipped himself back across the seat of
the swing he was currently occupying, relishing for a moment the weak winter sunlight that washed across
his face.

“What the fuck are you doing here, freak?”

The harsh voice jolted Haru back into awareness, his
surprise sending him tumbling backward off the swing
and onto the snow-covered ground below.

Knowing better than to leave himself in such a
vulnerable position, Haru scrambled to his feet and
brushed the snow off the back of his pants. Eyes wide,
he gazed at the owner of the voice who had startled him
so. It was Orochi, a young snake youkai who seemed to
despise his very existence. He was of course
accompanied by a handful of friends. Some, Haru
thought as he took the opportunity to scan their faces,
he had never seen before. One figure made him suck his
breath in harshly.

Saitou.

He could do nothing but stare at the wolf’s figure,
eyes drinking in the sight of him like they always did.

Everything else seemed to fade into the background
until all he could see was Saitou’s tall frame leaning
against the lamppost. A rough yank on his arm snapped
him back to attention, his gaze focusing on Orochi who
now stood alarmingly close to him.

“Don’t ignore me, freak!” The snake’s voice was
harsh, his eyes the same cold and calculating gaze as the
reptiles his clan favored.

Haru met the look with one of his own, one he had
carefully crafted over the years. It was a calculated mix
of rebelliousness and submission. He knew if he went too far in either direction, he would be painting an even
bigger target on his own back.

“You know there is something I have always
wondered about you. Why is it exactly that your
parents didn’t drown you at birth like the rest of the
world would have?”

Spiteful was an understatement when it came to that
question and Haru could not suppress his flinch.

Orochi, still holding onto his arm, crowed in laughter
at his response.

“What, did they actually try to and just couldn’t do
the job right?”

Haru clenched his teeth, determined not to react
again, determined to not let the others know just how
much the remark affected him. He knew it wasn’t true,
that his parents had never done harm to him as a baby.

It was not until his abilities manifested at the age of
three that things in his household had begun to get
rough.

“Orochi, this is boring. He isn’t worth the effort
tormenting him usually takes. Let’s find something else
to do,” Saitou’s uninterested voice echoed across the
otherwise empty park.

The snake jerked Haru’s arm until they both stood
directly in front of the group who had accompanied
him. “I don’t agree, Saitou, I find him to be very
entertaining. Usually you agree. Unless of course there
is another reason for your suggestion. Do you have an
emotional attachment to the little freak?”

There was something in Orochi’s voice, a viciousness of some kind that Haru did not understand.

“You know that isn’t true.” A single sentence was
all it took for Saitou to once again discard all of the
years they had spent together.

“Then prove it. Prove to us that there is nothing
between you two, that you feel nothing. Do so now.

Wound him.”

Orochi yanked Haru closer until the snake’s chest
pressed firmly against his back. He raised his free hand
and pressed a claw-tipped thumb harshly against the
underside of Haru’s jaw.

“Do it or I’ll do it for you and I can assure you that
my handiwork will be nowhere near as precise as your
own.”

Saitou stiffened and for a moment, Haru thought he
would refuse, he begged and prayed with all of his
might that he would. If Saitou did this, if he went
through with it, then everything Haru had ever
cherished, all the hope that he had managed to maintain
would be lost. The wolf shook his head sharply and
started forward through the small group, Haru could
feel his heart sinking. When Saitou was only an arm’s
length away, Orochi released his grip on Haru’s arm
and shoved him roughly in the other male’s direction.

Saitou caught him before he hit the ground and for a
moment it was like before when Saitou was his hero and
everything between them was good. Then the hands
around his shoulders tightened painfully for a moment,
drawing forth a pained wince as sharp claws pierced
cloth and bit into skin. In the next second, his chin had
been caught in a firm grip and his eyes forced upward
until they locked onto Saitou’s smoldering gaze. Haru
pleaded with him internally, once again silently
begging him to stop.

There was a brief moment of hesitation before he
received his unspoken answer. He braced himself almost
without thought and in the next second, his face lit up
with fiery pain. He could feel each movement of
Saitou’s hand as he drew his claw steadily down the
side of his face. The pain of his skin being laid open and
the warmth of his own blood flowing down his neck.

His vision was eclipsed by blazing amber eyes before his
world faded to black.

A warm hand cupping his jaw brought him back to the present and he forced the memory back with a firm shake of his head. “I remember.”

It was little more than a whisper, but he knew that he had been heard when Saitou pecked him softly on the lips once again. Haru felt the body above his own shift and he mounted no resistance when Saitou rolled them over, cuddling Haru’s smaller form to his chest like he had the night before.

“That day was difficult for me, more so than you could ever imagine. What I did to you I will never be able to take back and I would be lying if I said that a part of me was not pleased with that.”

A hot hand tunneled its way through Haru’s disheveled hair.

“You looked so sad that day when you were watching the snowfall. I have never been able to banish that memory of you from my mind. I never wanted to hurt you, but when Orochi threatened me, I had no choice in the matter. If I had allowed him to run free, he would have done irreparable damage to you. At least by taking the matter into my own hands I could assure that the least amount of suffering was inflicted.”