Authors: Shelley Shepard Gray
While Amelia stared at him in wonder, Darla sputtered from
across the room. Obviously, her sister-in-law was finding much humor in this conversation.
It seemed her siblings were going to hear about herding goats after all.
When Amelia turned to glare at her, Darla hastily covered up her chuckle with a tissue. It sounded like a choked cough.
Pierce turned to her. “Are you all right, Darla?”
“I am fine, Pierce. Uh, excuse me, I just choked on something.”
Turning back to Amelia, Pierce inhaled. “When I heard you got your goat from Hershberger's, I knew we were meant to be.”
Amelia blinked. Tried to think of him in a different way. And, well, thought about Princess. She was a good goat. And if a man could surround himself with lots of goats, that had to say something about him. Didn't it?
“Pierce, let me be blunt. You are rushing things between us.”
“Oh. Of course. I suppose we should wait a week or two before informing Lukas of our plans.”
She was now speechless.
Turning her head, she sent a beseeching look Darla's way.
Help,
she mouthed.
Immediately, Darla stood up. “Pierce, although all this talk of goats and courting is mighty exciting, we mustn't forget that Amelia needs to rest.”
“Oh.
Jah,
of course.” After getting to his feet much more slowly, he smiled Amelia's way. “I hope you will be up on your feet soon.”
“
Danke,
” she replied. She was starting to think he truly had to be one of the strangest conversationalists she'd ever met.
“I'll walk you out,” Darla told him.
The moment they disappeared from view, Amelia leaned back on the couch. She didn't like to think negatively, but it sure seemed that everything hopeful in her life had vanished. She'd felt nothing for Pierce. Nothing but mild amusement and a heavy dose of frustration.
When Darla came back, she was grinning broadly. “Well, that was awkward.”
“Awkward is putting it mildly.”
“I cannot even believe he started talking about herding goats with you.” Eyes dancing, she said, “What's worse is I think he was actually surprised you didn't think his words were exciting.”
“I suppose it's too much to ask that you keep his comments about goats to yourself?”
“I'm sorry, Amelia. I love you, but I'm not going to be able to keep
that
to myself. It was too funny.”
She slumped. “I didn't think so.”
Darla giggled again. “Come now. Surely, you can see the humor? I mean, you aren't serious about him, are you?” Before Amelia could answer, she added, “He would drive us all batty in no time. And poor Lukas!”
“Poor Lukas?”
“Well,
jah
. Your brother would lose a tooth from grinding his teeth so much.”
Amelia agreed, but she wasn't in any hurry to hear about how Lukas was going to dealâor not dealâwith her prospective suitors. All she knew was that more visits like the one she'd just survived were going to be in her immediate future. There were a lot of foolish men in Charm, and not a one of them could hold a candle to Simon.
Feeling dejected, she scooted to the edge of the couch. “Would
you please help me get to my room? I think I am ready to lie down.”
Darla's amused expression turned to concern. “Of course. Are you not feeling well?”
“Just tired. The pain medicine makes one sleepy.”
“Yes, I suppose it does.” After helping Amelia get one crutch in place, Darla helped her to her feet, then walked by her side down the hall.
When they got to her temporary bedroomâeveryone had decided there was no reason for her to navigate stairs if she didn't have toâAmelia sat down on the bed with a sigh. “
Danke
. Thank you for everything. I hate that you have taken a week's vacation from the post office to nurse me.”
“Don't give that a second thought. Things have been slow there, and Amanda is happy for the extra hours.”
“But still, you are the best sister-in-law.”
“We're family. I'm glad I can help you.”
Leaning back, she moved both legs up and yawned. She'd mainly wanted to get some space, but it seemed that she really was tired. “I bet I'll be able to help out more tomorrow or the next day.”
Darla paused mid-nod. “There's no hurry. You've been doing so much for the rest of us, we're all happy to help you.”
Amelia was sure Darla meant every word, but from her perspective, she felt that her family wasn't actually interested in helping her all that much. Not where it counted. She wanted help fixing her broken heart. But of course, if she mentioned something like that, Darla would attempt to reason with her. And Rebecca and Lukas? They would no doubt accuse her of
being melodramatic. “Thanks for your help. I'm sorry, but I don't feel much like talking anymore.”
“Oh. Of course.” Darla opened her mouth as if to ask a question, but then she shut it quickly. Without another word she left.
As she settled into the quiet, Amelia realized that Simon's absence from her life was going to be even harder to accept than she at first had realized. She'd looked forward to his visits. She'd loved the way he treated her, like she was a grown woman who had opinions he valued . . . but also a woman he was attracted to. She'd liked feeling smart and attractive. She'd enjoyed his attentions tremendously. She'd thought she'd meant something special to him.
It was hard to come to terms with the knowledge that he'd backed off after one conversation with her older brother.
And she was even more upset by the fact that she was stuck at home with not a single thing to do about it.
Wednesday, October 7
A
fter her last appointment of the day, Tess's cell phone had started ringing. She'd been driving when the first of several important calls came through. Needing to concentrate on everything she was hearing, she'd pulled into a nearby parking lot, opened a few windows, and settled in.
As time passed, she'd unbuckled, propped her laptop on the seat next to her, and started opening documents. After another hour, she'd pulled out a spiral notebook and started taking more notes. By the time she'd finished the last conference call, her hand was developing a cramp.
With a frown, she tossed her pen on the seat and flexed her fingers. She'd already worked almost forty hours this week . . . and it was only Wednesday.
She hated that.
The demands of her job used to excite her. They'd made her feel accomplished, like she was worth something. Like all the
evenings of night school and scrimping and saving and struggling had been worth it. But as she'd become more successful, her eagerness to prove herself to everyone around her didn't seem to matter as much. Now it just felt like the only thing she had anymore was work. And just like she'd realized yesterday, the money and work were no longer enough. She needed relationships. Real, meaningful ones that had nothing to do with titles and reputations. She needed her brothers.
Tess carefully saved her files on her hard drive, then shut down her computer. Next, she closed her spiral notebook and calendar and slipped all of it into her rolling briefcase. She blinked and looked around. Tried to get her bearings.
Then she started laughing. To her astonishment, across from the parking lot was a wide, freshly plowed field. In the distant was a large, sprawling white house. Clothes hung on the line next to it. To her right was a sign for Hershberger's market, proclaiming it was the home of the area's best fried pies.
Without meaning to, she'd driven back to Charm.
God truly was all knowing. He'd put her back in the very place she hadn't been able to stop thinking about for two days. It seemed He knew that her business here wasn't done.
The truth was that her visit with Simon had meant something. She'd been so overwhelmed with emotion after their brief meal together, she'd gone back to her hotel room and cried. After she'd dried her tears, she realized that she was not as upset about leaving Charm as she was about making the decision to stay away from Simon.
It was obvious that he resented her for leaving him. It was also plain to see that he didn't expect anything from her. He didn't expect her support or money or even her love.
And that was what was lying so heavy on her heart.
She wanted to love him. She wantedâno, neededâhis love, too. And because she was older and because she'd moved away, it was going to be up to her to take the first step.
Which, she was sure, was why the Lord had placed her back in Charm.
Tess had gotten Simon's address. Now, before she changed her mind, she entered it on the GPS icon on her phone and waited for the directions to pop up, telling herself the whole time that if nothing came up that was all right, too.
But in less than a minute, she was informed that she could get to her brother's house in eight minutes.
Her mind spun. What excuse would she have for stopping by unannounced? What if he had a friend over? Should she introduce herself as his sister? What if he didn't want anyone to know who she was? What if he wasn't even home? What would she do then?
Tess, why does any of that matter?
a sharp, firm voice whispered inside her head.
That, of course, was the best question of all. Shifting her vehicle into drive, she headed to his house. No matter what happened, she was ready to handle the consequences.
“
Danke, Got,
” she whispered, realizing that the prayer sounded more natural and felt more familiar in Pennsylvania Dutch. Maybe it was because she was back in Amish country. Maybe it was because she'd prayed for guidance and strength nonstop when she was here.
Maybe her faith was simply stronger in her first language.
Whatever the reason, she used those brief eight minutes to pray. God heard her prayers, too. Because by the time she parked outside a small house, she felt at peace.
Whatever happened next was out of her hands. As it had always been, her future was in the Lord's hands all along.
S
IMON HAD JUST
gotten out everything he needed to make a steak sandwich for supper when he heard the knock at the door. Concerned, he hurried over, already mentally readjusting his night's plans. It had to be someone from the mill.
Though they were closed for the day, things happened. Delivery trucks ran late, people complained. Life happened. Because he was within easy walking distance to the millâand because he had no other obligationsâhe'd become the first manager to contact if one was needed.
Walking to the door, he wondered who had gotten sent over. He half hoped it was Peter Beachy. He liked that kid.
But when he threw the door open, his mind went blank.
“Tess?”
“Yes. Um, hi, Simon.” She looked at him before averting her eyes and quickly scanning the area behind him. Then she met his gaze again.
It was obvious that she was finding it hard to look at him. If that was the case, why had she even come? “What are you doing here?”
The last traces of her smile disappeared. “You know what? I'm not really sure. But I knew I wanted to see you. Do ya mind?”
Her voice wasn't near as sharp as it had been when they'd talked at Josephine's Café. Now she sounded a whole lot more like the girl he remembered.
“I don't mind.”
“Ah.
Gut
. I'm . . . well, I'm glad.”
Her uncertainty eased the tension that had formed in his
shoulders more than anything else ever could. Stepping backward, he gestured for her to come inside. “In that case, you might as well join me,
jah
?”
“Join you doing what?” she asked as she crossed the threshold and placed her purse on the floor.
He picked it up easily and plopped it on a chair, then led the way to his small kitchen. “I'm making steak sandwiches. Want one?”
“Do you have enough for two?”
He thought that question, along with her tentativeness, was strange. However, it almost made him feel better about himself. He didn't want her to be nervous around him, but he didn't want to be on uneven ground with her, either. She was educated and put-together and smart.
He was none of those things.
“Even if I didn't have enough, I would still share with you. You're my sister.”
She inhaled. “You still think of me that way?”
There was a hesitancy in her voice that brought him up short. “Of course I do,” he said. “It's what you are.”
“You really believe that, don't you?”
“I do.” He wasn't sure what else to say about that. Maybe it was because he'd witnessed how close the Kinsinger siblings were . . . or maybe it was because his time in prison had made him learn to never take any relationship for granted. Whatever the reason, he'd learned to simply accept what couldn't be changedâespecially if it wasn't something he wanted to change.
She stepped closer. “Hey, Simon. Do ya think one day that we will be able to go back to how we once were?”
“Nee.”
When he heard her breath hitch, he added quickly,
“But I'd like to think that we could maybe become something new.”
“I'd like that.” When they got to his little kitchen, she pulled off her jacket, walked to the sink, and washed her hands. “I like your place.”
“Danke.”
About five years ago, Simon had made an agreement with one of the workers at the mill. In exchange for Simon's upkeep, he paid only half rent for the house. The other half went into a savings account at the bank. Two years later, that money, together with as much overtime pay as he could get, was enough for a down payment.
Now he was actually proud of his house and small farm, though he only had four acres. The house was rather small by Amish farmhouse standards, but it was perfect. The house was well built and had two fireplaces. It also had three bedrooms, one living area, one bathroom, and a large kitchen that ran the length of the house. Since buying the house, he'd replaced the old, peeling linoleum floor with thick oak planks.
Though he'd doubted he'd ever marry, he always liked the idea of giving his wife a lovely, expansive kitchen like this. Any woman would enjoy the counter space and many cabinets. On one side of the kitchen, there was a stone fireplace and a cozy table. If he ever had a family, there would be enough space for two or three
kinner
. The children could sit in warmth while watching their mother prepare them something tasty on Sunday mornings.
But seeing it all through Tess's wide eyes, he felt a little embarrassed. No doubt it was all too obvious that he'd been attempting to reproduce a childish fantasy with such a kitchen.
Not that the rest of the house was much better. The whole thing was only about a thousand square feet.
“It's not real big, but there's only me. You know how that goes. You can only be in one room at a time.”
“This is true. But it seems plenty big for you. At least for now,
jah
? I bet one day soon you'll be wanting to get married and have a house full of
kinner
.”
He looked at her sharply, unsure if she was being sarcastic. When he saw that she was simply stating things the way she saw them, he relaxed. But that didn't mean he was in any hurry to take up that conversational strand. All thoughts of marriage led him to Amelia, and he definitely did not want to go down that path.
“Do you have a
haus,
too?”
“A condo north of Columbus. It's about the same size as this place.” Running a hand along one of the laminate countertops, she said, “It's just newer.”
“Kinsinger installs a lot of cabinets and custom flooring in both Columbus and Cleveland, Tess. I'm guessing it's a lot fancier, too.”
“Maybe it is,” she mused. Running her hand the length of a granite countertopâhis latest splurgeâshe smiled at him. “This kitchen is what dreams are made of.”
He shrugged, both hating and feeling relieved that she understood. “I like it here.”
“You should. You have everything you need, though.”
At one time, he'd thought so. But now, of course, he was thinking that he needed something more.
Pulling open a drawer, he got out his best knife. “I'll slice the steak if you want to toast bread.”
“I can do that.”
“The cutting board and bread is over there.”
She hesitated a moment, then pulled out the fresh loaf he'd bought at the market, located his serrated knife, and began carving thick slices. After pausing, she walked to the oven and turned on the broiler. “I can't believe I just looked for the toaster,” she said sheepishly.
“You still remember how to light the stove, though.” He pointed to a thin drawer under the oven. “Pans are there.”
As she worked on toasting the bread, he pulled out lettuce, tomatoes, and onions and a container of potato salad that he'd picked up at the store, too. It wasn't as good as the potato salad at the Der Dutchman, but it was good.
Ten minutes later they were seated side by side at his small wooden table in the corner. Thick sandwiches and potato salad were on their plates. Glasses of cold milk sat next to each one.
“This looks like a feast,” she said with a smile.
“It looks
gut
enough, I think,” he said easily. “
Gut
enough for a Wednesday supper.”
She smiled at him before bowing her head. When he prayed, he gave thanks for the food and for his day. And for this chance to reconnect with his sister.
She took the first bite. “This is good. Thanks, Simon.”
He waved off her thanks. “Tess, are you going to stay in the area tonight?”
“I hadn't planned on it, but I think so. After we visit, I'll go find a hotel. I heard there's a couple of new fancy ones around. Or the B&B here might have room.”
“I have room,” he blurted before he overthought things and stopped himself.
Eyes wide, she said, “You mean that?”
He nodded. “I think, well, I think it might be a good thing for us to sleep under the same roof again.”
“Then I'll stay.”
Simon wondered if the tone he heard was relief or merely acceptance. Then he decided it didn't really matter. There had been times in his life when relief came well before acceptance and long before true happiness formed. He didn't know if that was the way of the world or if it was simply how things happened.
He took another bite of his sandwich and forced himself to relax and enjoy the moment. It was nice not to have to eat alone. And now that everything with Amelia had fallen apart, it looked like Tess's company was going to be the only female company he was going to have for quite a while.
“Tell me about your job, Simon.”
“Well, you know I work at Kinsinger's.” When she nodded, he said, “I'm a manager of one of the warehouses.” He was actually more than that. He was essentially the assistant manager, second only to Lukas now that Levi was gone.
“A manager. That's great. Do you like it?”
“
Jah
. For the most part I do, anyway. Of course, I've worked there so long, I think I would have a difficult time doing anything else.”
After she polished off the last of the sandwich, she pushed the plate away and crossed her legs. “Are you still good friends with Lukas and Levi?”
“
Jah,
though more with Lukas these days, I guess. Levi took off a few months ago.”
“Why?”
He shrugged. “I don't know, not really. Lukas and Amelia
told me that Levi felt he needed a few months' break. After the fire and their father's death, he was feeling like everything was too much.”