A Sister's Wish (12 page)

“Not that I'm aware of.” Knowing that Trent was moments from imagining every worst-case scenario, Simon set down his clipboard. “It's probably nothing,” he stated, doing his best to look completely calm. “Go on and take your break.”

Trent removed his safety goggles. “You sure?”

“Positive. Actually, tell everyone to take a break now. A semi from Michigan is scheduled to arrive in an hour. We're going to need all hands on deck when it gets here.”

“Will do. And hang in there.”

“
Danke,
” Simon said wryly. That kid really did crack him up. He was a thirty-year-old in an eighteen-year-old's body.

The moment he was standing alone, Simon let his guard down. He was done with trying to be something he wasn't and had given up trying to impress Lukas. He now knew that there was nothing he could do to improve Lukas's opinion of him. It was a bitter pill to swallow but, like most bitter pills, he felt better now that he'd put it behind him.

Lukas stood awkwardly in front of him. It was obvious that his friend was attempting to find the right words; it was so out of character. Simon would have once tried to help him along.

But not any longer.

“Are you free to talk right now?” Lukas at last blurted.

Instead of pointing out that he'd just cleared the warehouse of workers so they could talk, Simon nodded.

“I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

Lukas's jaw worked. “Problem is, I don't know the right way to say it.”

Surprised, Simon tilted his head to one side. “If you don't know, you should probably just go ahead and tell me.”

Lukas exhaled, glanced around to make sure they were alone, then said, “I was wrong about you and Amelia. I shouldn't have interfered.”

As far as apologies went, Simon figured it had left a lot to be desired. However, as far as surprises went, it was a good one. “What led you to that conclusion?”

Looking even more uncomfortable, Lukas grunted. “Could be that Amelia has been mighty unhappy with me. Could be that I finally came to my senses. Or it could be that she has begun entertaining callers. So far, they've left a lot to be desired.”

Just as he was about to grin and tell Lukas that he was glad he finally came to his senses, his buddy's words sank in. “What are you talking about? How can she already be receiving callers? She just got home from the hospital.”

“Pierce Brenneman ain't wasting any time. He's been calling on her and being his normal, pushy self.”

Simon didn't even try to hide his distaste. Pierce wasn't a bad sort, but he wasn't all that good, either. More importantly, Simon knew he wasn't a good fit for Amelia. She needed a man who was strong and able-bodied. Someone who could stand up to her overbearing brothers yet be gentle with her heart. Pierce was not that man. “You pushed me aside but are letting Pierce call on her? Can't say I'm real happy to hear that.”

“He came by on his own. Actually, two times.” Looking half amused, he added, “The first time he called, he told Amelia that he was glad they had goats in common.”

“Goats? Honestly, Lukas.”

“I know. I didn't know whether to laugh or give him a lesson on courting.”

Simon didn't feel like laughing or giving tips. Instead, he was more concerned with Amelia's heart. “Who was home when he called the second time?”

“Darla. I haven't talked to her yet, but she stopped in to tell Rebecca today. She said Pierce was concerned about our family's routine.”

“What routine?”

Lukas chuckled. “I said the same thing.” He shrugged. “Darla and Rebecca seem to think Pierce is interested in using Amelia to become part of the family.”

Using Amelia? That would be over his dead body.

Then, remembering all the ways Lukas had told him that he would never be good enough for Amelia, he said, “As fascinating as it is to hear about Amelia's love life, I don't understand why you are telling me about it.”

“You know why.”

“
Nee
. I do not.”

Lukas sighed. “Because you and I and Rebecca and Darla and Amelia know you and Amelia were meant to be together.”

“What changed? What happened to me not ever being able to remove my tattoos? What about needing to understand that I was never going to be good enough for your little sister?”

“I realized that I was being narrow-minded. My father had no patience for that. He would have been so angry with me for the
way I treated you. Listen, I know it will take some time, but I'm hoping you will be able to forgive some of the other things I said, too. It was wrong for me to bring up your past. If you want to know the truth, I think in some ways I've been envious of you.”

Simon raised his eyebrows. “Envious of being abused, taking drugs, breaking the law, and going to jail?”

“Envious of being brave enough to look beyond our community. I never did that. Not even during my
rumspringa
. Instead, I simply worked and planned to take my place here one day.”

“You did everything right, Lukas. We've all been proud of you. You're the best man I know.”

“I think my recent actions have proved that I have just as many faults as anyone else. Maybe even more.”

Simon wanted to believe Lukas's words. But more than that, he didn't want be pushed away again. “I don't want my past to tarnish Amelia. And while I don't intend for it to, I really don't want you making me feel like I'm bad for her.”

“You're not.” Lukas stared hard at him. “Your past made you into the man you are. It's never bothered me. I've always thought you were a strong person and someone who I could depend on. I should have realized that it was going to make you someone special to Amelia, too.”

“So, are you saying I can come calling on her?”

“
Jah
. But, well, just be careful with her heart, wouldja? If you decide she ain't the woman for you, try to let her down gently.”

Simon knew that wasn't going to be the case. “I'll treat her with care.” Just like he always had. “I'm coming over tonight, too. I could care less about your routine.”

“Noted.” He stepped back, then blurted, “I left Levi a message and asked him to come home.”

Simon hadn't realized Lukas had known where Levi was. “What did he say?”

“I don't know. I left a message on the answering service at his work, but he hasn't returned my call yet.”

“Where is he?”

“Florida. Working construction.”

“Why did you contact him? For Amelia?”

“
Jah
. Plus, it was time. I've always understood his need for a break. I wasna exactly happy about it, but I understood. But I could use his help. It's too much.”

“You've got Darla now.”

“I do. I have her and her family and I don't want her to think I'm neglecting them.”

“She knows how busy you are.”

“She knows, but . . .” He shrugged.

“I understand.”

Hearing the rumble of a truck approaching, Simon grabbed his clipboard. “Delivery's here, so I've got to go. I'll be seeing you tonight.”

“Thanks, Simon. And I am sorry.”

“No need to mention it,” he said over his shoulder as he watched two men climb out of the truck. “It's in the past.” And good riddance, too.

“Simon, is everything all right?” Trent asked when he got to his side.

“It will be if these guys got our order right for once.”

That was all he could share. Because everything else was simply too good to share aloud.

Chapter 12

Friday, October 9

A
melia was far too old to spend much more time lazing about on the couch and watching the world go by out the living room window. It was now Friday, officially over a week since she'd had her accident.

During that time, she'd slept a lot. At first, she'd been in pain, too. But now she was feeling a bit better physically . . . but becoming increasingly restless.

She had always been the person to take care of their farm. She'd gardened and cooked, cleaned and laundered. Now all she could do was sit.

Shifting uncomfortably, Amelia watched Darla's sisters Maisie and Gretel play with Oscar outside. Over and over again, they tossed a stuffed squeaky toy a short distance. The motion was met with a happy yip and then little Oscar would lumber toward the toy, somehow pick it up with his under bite, and bring it to the girls.

It was a sweet scene. Even sweeter was seeing Darla's other siblings working in the yard. Samuel and Evan pulled weeds while Patsy gathered eggs and swept off the front porch. Just beyond them, Darla's brother Aaron had their two horses tied up to some posts and was giving them a good brushing and rubdown. His fiancée, Hope, was by his side, giving Princess attention. Now that things had settled down at the Kurtz house, the siblings seemed more relaxed and like their old selves.

All of these chores were things that Amelia did over the course of one day. It was slightly alarming to see so many hands doing them at one time. It also made her feel kind of good about herself. She knew she'd done a lot around the house and farm. Now perhaps the rest of the family realized it, too!

“How is everyone doing out there? Does anyone need better instruction?” Darla asked Amelia as she entered the living room with a tray loaded with soup, saltines, and a tall glass of apple juice.

“All any of them needs is my thanks.” Smiling as she watched the small crowd work so industriously, Amelia added, “I think they are all doing a fine job. It's kind of them to come over to do so much work.”

After setting the tray on the coffee table, Darla peeked out the window. “I promise, they were happy to help. Besides, the girls wanted to see the puppy, and Hope is almost as smitten with Princess as you are.”

“Princess is a
gut
goat, for sure. But if Hope is smitten, Aaron should get her one.”

Darla chuckled. “Ah, you can be the one to tell him that! They just set a wedding date, so I think they have enough on their plate.”

“When is the wedding?”

“January sixth.”

“A New Year's bride. A wonderful blessing.”

“I think so,” Darla said with a sweet smile. “After all the tragedies we've had in the last year, it will be wonderful to begin the year in a better way. I cannot wait to celebrate their union, too. Aaron and Hope have had to overcome so many challenges.”

Amelia privately reflected that Darla had, too. About six months ago Darla had been overwhelmed and hurting. People in the community were blaming her father for the mill's fire, and her mother, unable to take the accusations and grief, had left the whole family. In addition, Aaron had been so angry that he was taking it out on her and her siblings. Darla had borne the weight of it all.

“Lots of us have been facing many challenges,” Amelia pointed out quietly. “Lord knows that you've had your fair share.”

Darla shrugged. “You're right. Most of us in Charm could say the same thing. If they weren't affected by the fire, they had other, more personal troubles to bear. But that's what life is, don't you think? A mixture of peaks and valleys and turns.”

Darla's words made her think of Simon and his struggles. “Yet the road always goes forward,” she murmured.

Darla's bright-blue eyes warmed. “Indeed. No matter how windy or convoluted our paths seem, we must all keep going. We've got no choice but to do that.” She turned back to the window and smiled. “Uh-oh. I think Oscar has finally had his fill of all that attention. He looks like he's about to collapse. I'll go see if I can rescue him from my sisters.”

Just moments after Darla walked out the front door, Amelia heard the faint complaints of Gretel and Maisie. She giggled
to herself as she sipped her soup and munched on a couple of crackers.

Darla was right, and her words had served to be a good reminder. She needed to stop fretting about Amelia's love life. While it was obvious that Pierce was not the man for her, it didn't mean that he was the only option. If he was coming out of the woodwork, chances were good that someone else would, too. Sooner or later, the right man would appear in her life. She needed to adopt an open heart and mind and let that happen.

But as she heard more laughter outside the window, she realized that that was easier said than done. She missed her family and missed being in the thick of things. She wasn't going to whine or complain, though. Studiously, she concentrated on her soup and tried not to feel sorry for herself. Before long, she would be back on her feet and this moment would be just a memory.

It was too bad her soup now tasted like dishwater.

When the door opened, she put down her spoon. “Do you have Oscar?” she asked whoever had just entered. “If so, I can watch him. He likes to sit on the couch next to me.”

“I don't have a bulldog. But if you want company, I could sit next to you,” Simon said with a teasing smile. “That is, if you'd let me.”

Amelia just about choked on her cracker. “What are you doing here?”

Against her will, she noticed that he'd freshly showered. The ends of his light-brown hair were damp. Even from across the room, he smelled fresh and clean. Like the yellow Dial soap he'd once told her he favored.

No man should ever look that handsome.

He hadn't moved. Staring at her from across the room, he
said, “There are a number of reasons why I came. But the most important is that I was concerned about how you were feeling.”

She was having trouble understanding. “Concerned?”

“
Jah
. I wanted to check on you. Sorry it's taken me so long to get here.”

He was apologizing for his delayed visit?
That's
what he was sorry for?

Intending to let him know how she felt, she said, “Simon, I don't know why you are apologizing. There is no need.”

“Sure there is. We left things in a bad way.”

She hated how he was rewriting their history. “
We
did not leave things in a bad way.
You
informed
me
that you shouldn't have been spending time with me. I didn't misunderstand a thing. It was real clear.” And because she was so mad, she added something a bit mean. “Crystal clear.”

Her jab hit its mark. A muscle jumped in his cheek. “Amelia, don't be like this,” Simon cajoled. “You know why I said the things I did. I want what is best for you.”

“You don't know what I want or need.”

“I know I don't. But your brother and sister seemed to—”

“They seem to want to run my life,” she interrupted. “Which you were happy to let them do without consulting me.” When he flinched with a hurt expression, she inwardly groaned. She hated hurting his feelings. However, he'd certainly hurt hers.

As the awful tension between them worsened, she ached to leave the room. Ack, but she couldn't even believe that she was stuck on this couch! She would give anything to hop off and seek the solace of her room.

Simon, however, seemed to be of a very different mind. Look
ing more determined than ever, he said, “Amy, we need to talk about this in a calm way. Can I sit down?”

She saw where he was looking. He was ready to sit down right next to her. “Not on this couch,” she blurted. If he was too close, she was going to weaken like she always did around him. In order to stand firm, she was going to need a good amount of space between them. As much as possible.

“Fair enough.” He walked right over to the brown leather recliner in front of her and sat. “Now, may we talk about what happened?”

She wanted to, but if she let him in she knew what would happen. He would apologize and smile at her in a way that made her think of things she shouldn't. Her heart—along with her insides—would melt. Then, before she knew it, she would be agreeing to whatever he wanted. Because that was what she always did: She agreed to what Simon wanted because she wanted him more than she wanted what was right.

Amelia had had a lot of time to think about things over the last few days, and she'd come to the conclusion that her judgment was flawed—where he was concerned, anyway. She'd pushed aside her sister's warnings about Simon's history. She'd ignored the rumors she'd heard about him keeping company with dangerous people. She'd pretended she'd never heard her father whispering about writing to Simon in jail.

More recently, she'd kept Simon's visits a secret from her sister and brother. And yet when his visits had come to light, after she'd defended their relationship, he'd given her up as if she wasn't all that important to him after all.

She'd waited for him to come to his senses and hurry to her side and apologize, but he hadn't. Not for days.

She'd cried over him. She'd listened to far too many lectures from her sister about how there were other men in the world who would treat her far better. Now she almost believed that.

If she went back now, that would make her an even bigger fool than she was already.

“Simon, we can talk, but I don't think there's much you can say that I will want to hear.”

He nodded. “That's fair enough.” After staring at her for a moment, he said, “Amelia, you were right. I shouldn't have let your brother's words sway me. I should have talked to you about what he said and about how I feel, too.”

“That would have been helpful.”

“Amelia, I am sorry. I let my doubts and worries that I'll never be good enough for you interfere with everything I knew was right.” Still staring at her intently, he lowered his voice. “I should have believed in us as much as you do.”

Yes, he should have.

Ack!
Nee
. As much as she
used
to believe in them! She had already moved on.

Well, kind of.

Leaning forward, Simon rested his elbows on his knees. His hazel eyes were cloudy with concern. He looked tense, too.

Feeling her determination to shield herself from him fade, she asked helplessly, “What did Lukas say to you? What did he say that made you change your mind?”

“He reminded me that I couldn't change my past. That it would always be with me.”

“And why did this matter?”

A line formed between his brows. “What do you mean?”

“You had already told me a lot of things that you had done.
I knew they weren't good. I also knew that you had done some things that you never wanted to share. I respected that.”

He nodded slowly. “But I can never completely escape my past. That means . . . well, that means if you were mine, you'd have to deal with my past, too.”

If she were his. Down went her guard just a little more. “If not me, then who?”

“Pardon?”

“If not me, then who? Who would be the right girl for you?”

He straightened, his hands coming to brace himself on the couch. “Amelia, you can't ask me that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't know who else would be the right girl.”

“Because?”

He stared at her intently. “Because I only want you.”

Oh, but those were the words that her dreams had been made of. She was almost afraid to look at her feet, because she was fairly certain that the last of her defenses were now lying in a forgotten heap on the ground.

With effort, she made herself remember crying over him in the empty hospital room. “You only want me
now, jah
?”

“No. I've only wanted you
ever
. I was simply trying to do the right thing.” Looking embarrassed, he said, “I was weak. I started dreading how you would look at me when you learned more about my past.”

“Ever since my
mamm
died so long ago, I have tried my best to be one of those people who deals with the present and the future. Not fixating on how things might have been different.” Carefully, she continued. “But in this instance, in relation to you and me . . . I think that habit is wrong.”

“What are you saying?”

She was shaking inside. “Simon, I want to know everything about you. I want to know the things you've done that you don't want me to know about. The things that you've never even shared with Lukas or Levi.”

He visibly paled. “I can't do that.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't want you to know, Amelia. I promise, you don't want to know all the things I've done.”

“Simon, if you want me, then I want all of you.
All of you
,” she repeated.

“I can't . . . I can't give you that.”

He was still keeping her at a distance. Still.

Feeling disappointed, both for his walls and her inability to see that they'd never be the couple she dreamed of, Amelia knew it was time to let him go.

Feeling like a weight was pressing on her chest, she said, “If you can't give me all of you, then I guess you better leave and go in search of the right woman.” She hoped she would actually be able to survive if he did just that.

Hurt filled his gaze. “You're really going to send me away? While you stay and let that . . . that Pierce come calling on you?”

“Pierce ain't the man for me. But like you said, there are others.”

Slowly, he got to his feet. “I didn't say there were others. I said there was only you.”

She turned her head away. If she looked his way, he'd see her tears. He'd know how much she was hurting. He'd know that she really did love him.