A Sadness Within (27 page)

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Authors: Sara Fiorenzo

BOOK: A Sadness Within
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The light was blinding as
I opened my eyes. My lids began to reflexively snap shut, but I fought to keep them open, happy that I finally could. She was here. Julia. Her presence completing my soul.  I had been fighting for what felt like weeks, or even months, and I finally felt as if I had made it back to the surface.

“Will!” her voice was frantic. “Oh my god, you’re okay! You’re here, alive!” I could feel her hand covering mine. Not just the presence of it, I could
feel
it. And I felt warm.

“You stayed,” my voice was barely a whisper through parched lips. My mouth and throat were dry. There was a thirst and an ache in my chest, but it was different.

“Your heart. It’s beating,” Julia gasped.

“It beats once and a while.” The effort to speak was excruciating.

“No, it’s beating regularly. Like a human.” A look of disbelief shot across her face.

Suddenly the doctors, Celia, and my father rushed in.

“He’s awake! We saw it on the monitor!” Celia exclaimed.

The doctor immediately began looking at the computer readouts, his brow furrowed with concern.

“I don’t understand,” he said incredulously. “These readouts don’t make sense.”

“What do you mean, they don’t make sense,” Celia asked.

“These readouts are unusual for someone with the disease. I have been puzzling over them for days, as they have been so inconsistent. But now, they don’t make any sense. They . . . they are reading
human
vitals. It’s as if you aren’t immortal anymore.  Will, I’ll have to do some more tests, but I think you are cured.”

The four of us stood there in disbelief, listening to the monitors beep for a moment before anyone spoke.

“How do you feel?” my father asked.

It felt like a loaded question after all of these years.

“I feel okay. I mean, I actually
feel
. The dull ache, the pressure in my chest, it’s gone.” He reached for my hand and smiled.

More doctors rushed in and stared at the monitors. They whispered excitedly while pointing from me to the monitors and then back at me. The doctor didn’t seem to know how to respond, and from their reactions, neither did Celia nor my father.

“Well, I’m not really sure how it all happened, but it seems that you are now human,” one of the specialists finally said, speaking directly to me.

“It is a miracle,” Samuel whispered.

The thought took a moment to sink in.

“I’m human again.” I tested the words out tentatively. “Cured.” I whispered. I didn’t question how it happened, I could only accept it, and know that everything would work out.

The room suddenly became very loud, as all of the doctors began talking at once, gesticulating at the monitors and each other. My father and sister joined in, but I didn’t need to hear an explanation. I had been given a second chance, and it didn’t matter to me why I was alive, it only mattered that I was. My eyes sought out Julia, who had been pushed to the corner of the room. I could see glossy tears in her eyes and couldn’t help my own tears from falling down my face.  She began to walk toward me cautiously, and I reached a hand out to reach for her.

“You stayed,” I whispered. “I thought I lost you again.”

“Never. I will never leave you again,” she said through her tears. “I was a fool to leave the first time. You are who I want to be with, and you must know that you aren’t the only one who has changed. You make me feel like a stronger person and I can’t imagine a life without you in it. I need to be where you are.”

At this moment, there was only one place I wanted to be and that was by Julia’s side. I pulled her into my arms, never wanting to let her go. I laid her head on my chest and listened to the echo of our beating hearts.

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn’t help but stare
out the open window at them. The air was warm and birds sang in the trees.  It had been nearly six months since Will came home, and spring was beginning to show everywhere. The garden was alive with new growth and the color of the lake was a brilliant blue. My brother sat on the bench in the rose garden with Julia’s head in his lap, while she attempted to read. Will’s hand tangled in her hair and a smile played upon his lips. The happiness that they had found together radiated from them. The scent of the newly blossoming lilacs was all encompassing and mingled with the fresh air coming off the lake.

I smiled to myself as Julia giggled and playfully nudged Will’s arm when he tried to pull the book from her hand. He leapt out from under her, grabbing the book and began to run around holding it at arm’s length, away from her. She followed, chasing him through the pathways, laughing madly. Finally, she grabbed his arm and pulled him to her. Forgetting about the book, Will pulled her into an embrace, their mouths meeting gently.

I turned away from the intimate scene before me. This is how they always were. They were engaged now, with Julia spending most of her free time at the house, having put her own house up for sale. She said she was ready to put her own demons to rest, and besides, she would be moving in here anyway, once they were married. Will was back in school, getting a degree in art, a newly discovered talent. In the fall, they would get married, completing their happy ending. The play they had worked on together was postponed until spring, but when it was finally performed, it got rave reviews, prompting my principal to hire Will as the assistant director for all of the shows.

My father was now submerged in research. He was more positive now than ever before that there had to be an answer to Will’s unexpected cure, and he was determined to find it. It gave him a renewed purpose, and he was as eager as ever. He now split his time between here and Chicago, researching. I was finishing out the school year, as life had slowly gone back to normal.

The happiness around me made me long for what I once had, but lost. I sighed and pulled out a yellow, withered picture that I had been carrying around with me for decades. It was my own engagement picture. Jonathan and I were looking adoringly at each other. The picture was faded where I had held it so many times. I brought the photograph to my lips and closed my eyes to prevent a single tear from escaping.

I looked back out to the garden at the retreating forms of Will and my future sister-in-law. With his arm around her and her head on his shoulder, they slowly walked down the path toward the lake. If Will could find love, surely I could too.
Someday. Someday I would have this again,
I thought, the sounds of the laughter below drowning out any sorrow, as if to prove that in the end, it would all be set right.

 

 

 

This book, as with many first books, is a project that has been a long time coming. Writing is the sort of thing that got away from me and then reintroduced itself again later in life. In school, I loved English class. I loved creative writing and have lots of short stories to prove! When I finished college, I actually was a travel writer/editor for a small magazine, yet never had any thought that I could do this “for real.” Fast forward to about 10 years later and something hit me. That book I have wanted to write isn’t going to write itself. One day I say down and started to write. I have been completely overwhelmed by the love and support I have received from my family and friends which has helped make this happen.

First, I need to thank Georgia and Jennifer. The last year has been difficult and Georgia was the one who said, I know what you need to do. You need to publish your book. Until someone actually verbalized it, publishing my books was a far off dream. Thank you for being my friend and for giving me the kick I needed to do this! Jennifer has become more that just another author to me. She has answered countless questions about the publishing process. Jennifer is one of the people who have kept me sane throughout this whole process. I also need to thank all of my TM/EFG girls for their friendship and support over the last few years. I can’t name you all, but you know who you are!

I would also like to give some credit to those who inspire me through their writing or who listened and helped me work out plot problems. You taught me more than you know about the individual creative process that goes into writing. Robin Wasseman, Alex Flinn, Lauren Oliver, and Maggie Stievfater, THANK YOU!

A huge thank you goes out to Kate for being my beta reader, my editor, my therapist, and one of my best friends! She has read this almost as many times as I have and has seen it change drastically. Through it all, she has been my biggest cheerleader. I could not have done this without you!

Finally, I would like to thank my family for being there for me. My husband survived countless nights falling asleep to the sound of typing when I found myself on a roll and didn’t want to stop! And, of course, all those times when he corralled my girls away because “Mommy’s writing.” Thank you for believing in me and following me throughout this endeavor!

To those of you who I forgot, I’ll make sure you get a proper thank you in the next book.

 

—Happy Reading!

Sara

 

 

 

Sara lives on the shores
of Lake Michigan with her husband, two girls, dog, and horse. She has been known to speak only in movie quotes, randomly break out in song, and spend hours on the internet researching abandoned places. Her friends think she is a great date to an amusement park and a decent, but slow, running companion. In addition to being a writer, Sara is also a high school English teacher. Riding horses and music make her happy and she believes that bacon should be included at every meal.

 

CONTACT SARA:

https://www.goodreads.com/sfiorenzo

https://www.facebook.com/sarafiorenzobooks

https://www.facebook.com/sarafiorenzo.author

http://sarafiorenzobooks.weebly.com/

[email protected]

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