A Sadness Within (26 page)

I
pulled a blanked over
Julia and tried my best to hide my concern for Will. No need to alarm her even more. The truth was, I was terrified. Something wasn’t right and for once, I didn’t seem to know what the right action would be. Should I stay with Julia and let the doctors take care of it, or should I try to figure out exactly what happened.

After arguing with myself for several minutes, I decided that perhaps cleaning myself up would be best. I was mess. Dried blood that looked like tar splattered all over my clothes and face. It plastered my hair in strange angles and twisted itself in reddish black curls. I didn’t know whose blood it was, but it disgusted me. I needed to wash the night off.

The receptionist at the front was nice enough to give me some scrubs and point me to an empty bathroom with a shower. With towel in hand, I glanced once more at the sleeping figure and crept down the hall. Ten minutes later, I emerged clean but not feeling much better. I would have to direct Julia to the shower when she woke.

There was still no news on Will’s condition. I glanced at my watch. My father wouldn’t be here for another hour. I needed to occupy myself.

The chair groaned when I sat down and began thumbing through a magazine. My leg tapped on the floor in a rhythmic disturbance. This would never work. Unlike, Julia, I could never sleep. She seemed to be able to let the exhaustion take over. Perhaps it was her way of dealing with trauma. She was able to shut down. Lord knows, she had dealt with enough of it.

Eventually, she stirred next to me, then sat up with a jolt, as if remembering where she was.

“Hey,” I started. “There’s no news. I would have woken you if there was.”

“Thanks,” she sighed, rubbing her hands on her face, startled when the dried blood began to flake off into her hands. She looked up at me abruptly. “You showered?”

“Oh yeah. I couldn’t sit still. The receptionist gave me some scrubs and a towel. You should go too. Get yourself cleaned up.” I shuddered, remembering how we got this way.

“Thanks.” Julia got up, then hesitated and looked back at me expectedly. “You will come get me if anything changes, won’t you?”

“Of course. You will be the first to know.” I smiled reassuringly. She nodded and walked toward the front.

A few minutes later, my father rushed through the door. He looked around frantically as I rushed to his side and met him with an embrace.

“What happened? I knew that I should have come with you.” Concern etched his face and I could feel his helplessness.

“It wouldn’t have helped. Chris ambushed us. He must have been following Will closer than I thought. You wouldn’t have been with us anyway.” I repeated as quickly as I could, exactly what had happened.

“He has to survive, Father. He just has to. He has come so far.” The emotion I had been trying to hide could not be extinguished anymore. It was just too much.

Julia emerged from the bathroom, her damp hair falling around her shoulders. She hesitated briefly before continuing toward us.

“Hello, Mr. Bradley.”

“Hello, Julia. I am sorry for getting you involved in this. And please, call me Samuel.” His smile was warm and full of concern. Julia took my father’s hand briefly but looked at me.

“Don’t be,” she said. “You didn’t get me involved in anything I didn’t want to be involved in. Do you think we could see him, Celia? Won’t they let me just see how he is?” she pleaded as she turned to me.

“I’ll talk to them,” my father replied. “You probably won’t be able to go in there, but perhaps you can look in on him. I’ll see what I can do.” He walked in the direction of the front desk and I steered Julia back to the waiting area.

“If anyone can get you in, it will be my father,” I reassured.

“I just need to see him,” she said, her voice falling off.

My father motioned to us and we hurried over.

“No one can go in yet. They aren’t sure he’s stable. He’s under full surveillance, but I can take you to where his room is. Perhaps you can look at him through the glass.

“Oh, thank you!” Tears sprang to Julia’s eyes in gratitude. “I just… I just want to see him.”

A doctor came out and ushered us through a swinging door. Despite the ancient decor of the waiting room, the interior of the hospital was surprisingly modern. Each room was separated by thick glass walls. Electronic monitors were scattered all over. This wing of the hospital was empty, except for a room that I suspected was Will’s

“It is fortunate that you were already in Chicago when this happened. I don’t think we could have saved him if you would have had to travel a great distance,” the man leading us commented. I glanced nervously at Julia, but she was white as a ghost and already distracted.

“This is his room. As you can see, we are still trying to stabilize him, so you cannot go in yet. Stand here and look, but I ask that you don’t stay too long.” He hurried away, his long strides eating away at the black and white tiled floor beneath him.

I pushed Julia forward, figuring that my father and I could wait in the distance.  She shuffled ahead, and stood stock still in front of the glass. Slowly, her hand moved up and she spread her fingers on the cold, clear wall in front of her. Her eyes closed and her forehead touched the glass. Her lips began to move, as if she were saying something or perhaps, praying. I joined her in a silent prayer of my own, hoping for the best.

After a few minutes, she turned back toward me.

“Thank you, Samuel,” she said to my father. “I’ll go back out and give you a few minutes with him.” She motioned to the people and the monitors that littered the room.

We watched her go in silence and I walked up to the glass to see Will for myself.

“She really does love him, doesn’t she?” my father’s voice interjected from behind me.

“Yes, she does. They could be happy together.” I smiled at the thought. “He just has to get through this.”

My father came and stood next to me, sighing.

“I have always wanted nothing more for you two than to be happy. I should have protected you more. I should have tried harder a long time ago with Will. It’s a parent’s job to help their child find what makes them happy.”

“Father, there is no way that you could have known what would happen. You can’t blame yourself for what we are. You couldn’t have stopped the attack. I feel like Chris’ betrayal had been coming for some time, and I think Will feared it, too.”

The doctors continued to work around Will’s bedside. I left my father standing there and walked back down the hall. When I reached the waiting room, I could see that Julia was curled up on the sofa asleep, and again, I couldn’t help but wish I could shut myself down as easily as she did. And perhaps when I awoke, this would all just be a horrible dream.

I could feel myself getting
pulled again. A song, a melody was pulling me back, and I could feel it through my body. Julia was close, I could feel it. I could feel her near me. She was speaking to me. Whispering in my ear.
Will, I love you. I need you. Don’t leave me.
Her voice, a song in my heart that I fought to keep hearing. I would not give up. I would not let this get me. I felt determined, strong, until I tried to pry my eyes open again.

It’s too soon, just rest. Let your body heal
a voice I didn’t recognize said. Yet I felt comfort. I felt at ease and a feeling of peace.
Get strong so that you can take care of my sister.
Aaron, Julia’s brother. It had to be. I tried to say something to him, but the pain pulled me under again.

W
hile the shower washed the
blood and grime off of me, it didn’t necessarily make me feel much better. Seeing Will lying like that was agonizing, and when they allowed me in, I couldn’t make myself stay long. I kept on wondering if this would be it. If this would be the last time I saw him, and I didn’t want to remember him that way. Instead, I left and went back to the sofa to curl up and retreat into myself, to remember him in my own way, confident that Celia would come for me at the slightest change.

I must have dozed off, because the sky was beginning to lighten up with the colors of dawn. I squinted my eyes, letting them adjust to the dim light of the room and the silhouettes of Celia and her father whispering. I watched the two of them and tried to hear what they were saying. Suddenly, Samuel turned and our eyes met.

“Oh, you’re awake, Julia. How are you feeling?” he called out. I jumped up at the sound of his voice, still clutching the blanket in my hands, embarrassed to be caught eavesdropping.

“I’m doing okay. Is there any change in Will’s condition?” I felt a cold sweat break out on the back of my neck as my nerves got to me.

“No, not yet. Actually, I would like to talk to you about something. Regarding Will’s condition.”

“Okay.”

“The idea that he is still alive is such a mystery. In addition to trying to keep him alive, the doctors have been trying to figure out how he even survived the stab wound to begin with. I mean, it appears that Chris was gone instantly from a similar wound.” He stopped abruptly keying in to the confused expression on my face.

“I’m getting ahead of myself,” he continued, “first I must explain how to kill an immortal and, then I will share a theory with you.” He walked to the nearest chair and sat down, with Celia trailing not too far behind.

“We don’t actually live forever. We can be killed. We just don’t react to sickness like others, because our bodies are in a sort of hibernation. There are, however, certain things that could end our life. It isn’t the stab wound that will kill an immortal, it’s the chemical reaction that takes place. The virus that is already raging through our bodies, leaving us in a permanent frozen state, reacts to the metal… specifically, iron.”

“A chemical reaction? What do you mean by a chemical reaction?”

“It’s simple, really. Most knives or swords are steel, and steel contains iron. Since we have very little blood in our systems, there is also very little iron in us. Stabbing an immortal with any weapon with iron in it will take our bodies from being iron deficient, to being poisoned.” He paused and let me take in this new piece of information.

“So how come a wood stake or a shard of glass won’t kill you? I mean, I know what I’d seen, and it was a blow that should have been enough to kill anyone. And if that knife did have iron in it…” My voice trailed off, the words stuck in my throat. Celia moved to sit by me and placed her hand lightly on my arm. She looked at me and smiled, and I smiled back weakly. I was so wrapped up in my own grief, it was hard to remember that I wasn’t the only one who could lose someone.

“I have to be honest, Will should be dead now. He took a hit to the heart with a steel blade, although it wasn’t directly in the center. The reaction should be taking over. It’s the iron that poisons. In fact, if we are stabbed by anything else, the disease fights back and heals what was damaged.” He hesitated briefly, running his hand through his silver hair, reminding me so much of Will. “Will is not dead and he isn’t dying. In fact, the doctor’s seem to think that he is actually
healing
.”

“Healing?” I asked incredulously. “But you just said that he was stabbed with a steel blade. He should be suffering from iron poisoning, right?” The Will I had seen looked dead. Lying in that bed, hooked up to machines, it was hard to believe that he was healing.

“Well, they are confused as well, because they have never seen anything like this before. I have a theory and this is where you come in.” Samuel got up excitedly and came to kneel in front of me. “As you know, most immortals lose their grip on humanity after some time. They become detached, soulless. Obviously, not all doomed to immortality lose themselves. I have been of the belief for decades that we can hold on to some semblance of what we used to be. Celia and I have managed to hold on, because we believe there are certain things that can cause someone to cling to their humanity. Love is one of those. Celia and I have both seen what love has done for Will. He has changed. The light has come back. He’s beginning to find a reason to be, and that reason is you. I think that your love has saved him.”

“Saved him? My love saved him? But I turned him away. I’m the reason we are even in this mess. If I had only let him talk. If I had let him explain and had some time to think, I would have… I wouldn’t have run.”

Samuel smiled warmly and placed his hand over mine.

“You can’t change the past, and you can’t change how you reacted. It is what it is, and it’s done. Stop blaming yourself and focus on the future.” His words were kind and understanding, and in some strange way, were just what I needed to hear.

“But you do love him, don’t you?” Celia offered. “You never stopped loving him. Just because you… needed space, you never stopped loving.”

I could feel the tears begin to streak down my face as this all sank in.

“I do love him, but I didn’t save him, he saved me. I was broken, I was the one who couldn’t cope with my life, and he fixed me…” I could hear my voice slowly fade.

The swing of a door and the sound of shoes on the linoleum floor, caused all of us to turn with a start.

“If you would like, you may go in with him now,” the doctor came in with a somber look on his face. “He isn’t awake, but we seem to have him stabilized. I think it would be alright for you to do more than just see him through the glass. Perhaps the sounds of your voices will help him.”

Celia pushed me forward.

“You go. I think he would want to see you first,” she said. Suddenly I was nervous. We had only just found each other again. Maybe he blamed me. What if all of this had made him change his mind?

“But you are his family. Don’t you want to see him first?”

“You are family, too. Just go,” Celia smiled.  “We will give you some time before we come in.”

As always, her kindness was too much. I gave her a quick hug and then followed the doctor down the hall to Will’s room. He pushed the door open slightly for me and continued in the other direction, leaving me alone outside the room. With a deep breath, I pushed the door open the rest of the way. The room was dimly lit. A series of monitors with flashing lights and numbers stood sentry over the bed, which seemed to be placed in the center of the room. Will was lying there with his eyes closed, hooked up to countless machines. I noticed a stool beside the bed which seemed to be there just for me. He did look peaceful lying there. It was almost as if he were sleeping. His face was emotionless, any trace of feeling erased by sleep. There was a large white bandage over his chest. Purple bruises covered his face and there was a large gash on his forehead. I gripped the side of the stool beneath me, as I watched his face scowl leaving lines in his forehead. Ever so lightly, I brushed my hand on his forehead to try to smooth it out. His face seemed to relax at my touch, so I left my hand on his face.

“Will, I am so sorry. Please don’t leave me. Please don’t go,” I pleaded with my voice, as my hand continued to caress his face. “I’m still here. I’m not going to leave you ever again. You are everything to me.”

My forehead pressed against the hospital bed, and I closed my eyes tightly, trying to shut out this pain. I thought of our short time together. I thought about everything I had never told him but wanted to. I willed him to live for selfish reasons. Selfish because I needed him to live. I didn’t think that I could survive losing him.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed. His hand was strangely warm. The man in the tunnels had been right. I picked my head up from the bed and looked at him for a moment, puzzled. He was never warm. The monitors began to blink again, and then I noticed the rhythmic beeping. Immediately, I became concerned and turned my attention over to the monitors to try to figure out what was happening. I saw it… the heart monitor. It was beating in slow, regular beats. This wasn’t possible. Not from what Celia had told me about their kind.

Turning back to look at Will, I saw his eyes begin to flutter, and I grasped his hand again to squeeze it.

“Will, can you hear me? Are you okay?” I stood next to him and pleaded with him fervently.

His eyes fluttered once more and then began to open.