A red tainted Silence (65 page)

I yawned again and glanced at Brandon. Still asleep. I smiled, watching him, thinking how sweet he looked. Maybe if I were careful ... I set my laptop down and walked over to the bed, looked down at him. I wanted to be with him. Crawl into bed with him as he’d done with me.

I could do it. I could, and it would be okay.

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I tiptoed over to the door and opened it. Mutt and Jeff were talking, but stopped when they saw me.

“Everything okay?” Mutt asked.

I nodded. “Yes, we’re going to take a little nap. Do you think you could --” They winked at each other. Winked! “A nap, eh?” Jeff said with a grin.

“Jeff! Just what do you think -- He just had surgery! Of course I mean a nap!” Mutt nodded sagely. “Yes, Mr. Kilmain. I’ll guard the door for you.”

“I’m serious! I’m going to take a nap --” He grinned. I punched him on the shoulder, giggling. “You big oaf. Be nice. Now, guard the door and don’t let anyone in so we can take our nap in peace.”

“Whatever you say, Mr. Kilmain.”

“Absolutely, Mr. Kilmain,” Jeff said.

I rolled my eyes and closed the door, grinning. I was so glad we’d found those two, and that Mutt had agreed to stay despite Brandon’s misbehavior.

I walked back to the bed to find Brandon’s eyes open, looking at me sleepily. “What was that all about?” he asked.

“I told them to guard the door so we could take a nap.”

“Nicholas, there’s no way --”

“Oh, shut up, silly. I mean it. I’m tired and want a nap. To sleep.” I touched his face. “I want to lie beside you, Brandon.”

He stilled, then slowly smiled. “Help me move over, then come on in.” I helped him, then climbed in to lay carefully next to his side, tucking my head under his arm. I sighed happily as I closed my eyes. I wouldn’t take a nap, just lay here for a bit.

And rest. Just for a little while.

Just for a little while, maybe think about pleasant things, like the first time Brandon and I made love. The real first time ...

* * * * *

“What are you doing?” I asked as I walked into our bedroom. I had just come home from work. Brandon lay on his stomach on our bed, shirt off, wearing only his jeans, which gapped enticingly around his waist, flipping through a booklet.

“Reading,” he said. “What does it look like?”

I glared at him, but he didn’t see it because he was stretched out the other way. “I know that you’re reading, silly. I want to know what you’re reading.” 384

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I could see the side of his face. Blushing!

“Nothing.”

I pounced on the bed, snatched the booklet from his hand before he could stop me.

“Got it!” I chortled, rolling over with it underneath me as he grabbed for me.

“Give that back, pest!”

“No way, I wanna see what it is!” I smashed it under my stomach. He straddled me then, and started to tickle me.

“Give it back, Nick.”

“No no no no! I refuse! Not unless you tell me what it is!” Then he stilled. Bent over me. Whispered in my ear. “It’s a booklet on ... on how gay people make love.”

I sucked in my breath, looked at him over my shoulder. “Really?” He smiled shyly at me, slid off me to lie on his side, propped up on his elbow. He looked so damn fetching, his skin warm and golden and smelling so good. He wore the boomerang I gave him. I stared at it, envying it, the way it draped over his chest. Tickled his nipple. Like I wanted to do.

I rolled onto my side and handed him the booklet. “What does it say?” He took it from me, eagerness lighting his eyes. I wanted to laugh, he looked so cute.

Instead I lay on my back and waited to see what he would say.

He sat up, crossing his legs. I loved the teeny tiny creases in his tummy when he hunched over. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on the boy, and I loved it. Not that I could say the same, but he swore he loved me anyway.

“Well, I see where we messed up, Nicholas. Look.” He flipped through the pages, finding what he was looking for, then handed it to me.

“No, just tell me.”

“Lazy,” he muttered. “Okay, what it says is that basically, since I was a ... a ...”

“Virgin?”

He blushed, dipped his head. “Yeah. One of those. Anyway, if we’d given each other more time, if you had, uh ...” Now he was beet red, up to his ears. Interesting phenomenon. I thought only I blushed so vividly.

“If I had what?”

“Uh, if you had ... um, used your fingers to, uh ... oh, heck, just read it, will you?” He shoved the booklet at me.

I took it, read what he was so excited about. Now my face heated. “You want me to do this?” Put my fingers inside him? Stretch him. Make him ready for me. I didn’t even know that was possible, but there it was. I flipped the booklet over. It was the one Jon and Amanda had given us.

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He nodded. “Yes. I think that’s what we need to do.”

“When?” I couldn’t believe it, what he wanted me to do. But I realized he was right. I’d rushed him. Hadn’t given him time to get used to my invasion. I felt like a dolt.

“Now?”

“Brandon --”

Worry lit his eyes. “Unless you don’t want to, I mean we can wait --”

“No! No, I mean, I’d love to.”

It’d been a month since the First Time. We’d lain together since then, having mutual jerk-offs, but I hadn’t tried to make love to him again. I’d been too scared; it’d been too mortifying for him. Throbbing heat immediately filled my groin and I looked at him, how he watched my face so carefully, so eagerly. He really did want to try again.

“Okay,” I said.

“I want to do it without a condom, too, Nicholas. I think that made it harder.” He flushed. “I mean, more difficult.”

I grinned. “But if it’ll make me harder ...” I laughed, then pulled Brandon down on top of me so I could kiss him.

Our lips met, his a little awkwardly, but I was ready -- so ready -- to take him. I couldn’t wait. But I refused to rush it this time, would take it slow, easy, make it good for him. Like I should’ve before.

He shivered beneath my hand as I laid it on his waist, as I slowly pushed him onto his back. I undid his jeans and slipped them off so that he lay naked on the bed. Still fully dressed, I lay on top of him, loving the vulnerability he showed me. Cradling his head between my hands, I met his lips with my own, keeping my eyes open, wanting to see him as I explored his mouth, rejoicing crazily as I always did when his tongue wrapped against mine, as the heat of our kisses slowly increased. He squirmed beneath me, his hands stroking my back, pushing my shirt up, grabbing my backside and pulling my hips down hard against his own. I rutted against him, reveling in how hard he was, how hard I was, until I thought I would burst.

I wanted to feel his skin against mine. I pulled away from him, reluctant to break contact, so I kept his gaze locked with mine. He looked at me, puzzled, but smiled as I pulled my shirt over my head, kicked my shoes, jeans, and boxers off.

“Lie this way,” I said, guiding him to lie lengthwise on the bed. Our heads were at the end, our feet up by the pillows as we lay side by side. I trailed my fingers down his jaw line, letting them travel down his neck to fulfill their fantasy of playing with his nipples. He arched his back, half-closing his eyes, pushing his cock into mine.

“I want to take you from behind.”

His eyes opened. “Are you sure?’

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I nodded, grabbed the booklet, and lay on my back. He scooted closer to me, his face pressed to mine as I held the booklet up over us so we could both see. He shamelessly massaged his dick as I flipped through the pages, found what I wanted.

“See? Says here, for the first time it’s easiest to do it like this.”

“Doggie style.”

I giggled. “Yeah. Ruff ruff.”

He pushed himself quickly to his knees, his backside to me, and wagged it at me.

I laughed, pulled myself to my knees, positioned myself in back of him, and folded over his back, kissing his shoulders. “You are nuts sometimes, Brandon Ashwood. You know that?”

He laughed, fell onto his stomach, taking me with him. Our laughter slowly died as the intimacy of how we were positioned hit us both. I kissed his shoulder, brushed his hair from his eyes.

“Brandon,” I said, my voice soft. That kind of soft.

“I love you, Nick.”

“I love you, too.” I reached for the bedside table, found the lube. Rolling onto my side, I opened the lube. He was on his stomach in front of me, his leg cocked at an angle. “I’ll go slow, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Try to relax.”

“I’ll try.”

He closed his eyes. I didn’t want to rush him, wanted this to go smoothly. He may have thought he was relaxing, but he was as tense as if he were about to jump off the bed. I started to rub his back, just smoothing my hand up and down his spine, over his shoulders. Feeling the softness of his skin beneath my palm, my fingers. He flinched, laughing softly whenever my fingers skated over his side.

“Ticklish one, aren’t you.”

He nodded. “Feels good.”

“Good.” I kept massaging him, thinking, boy, I needed to get some oil or something, so it would feel really good. I continued on like that for a little while, playing with his ribs, making him flinch some more, wrapping my hand around to his front, brushing over his dick. Toying with it, running my fingers up and down his shaft. He moaned, squirming now, arching back against me.

“Nick --”

“Brandon --”

I smoothed my hand down his thigh, back up again, over his rear, marveling how narrow his hips were. I gently pushed him flatter onto his stomach. His breath hitched, but A Red-Tainted Silence

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he did as I wanted, moving his leg when I spread him wider. I circled my fingers ever closer to his opening, grazing it, making him gasp. “Nicholas --”

“Shh.”

He could barely lie still now. I circled my fingers around his opening, removing them only to coat them with lube. He hissed when I found my mark again. Holding my breath, I slowly pushed inside him. He clenched tight against my finger, but I kissed his back, murmured gently to him to relax, and finally he did. Little by little I entered him, taking my time, stroking inside him, holding him while he writhed, until he calmed, nodded for me to go on. I used two fingers then, fascinated by how he moaned, pushed against me. I did this to him. I made him make the little sounds he made, made him beg for more.

“Nicholas, please --”

So, I did. Removing my fingers, I jerked on myself until I was as hard as I could get, then coated myself, wiped off my hands, and slowly this time, so mindful of how I’d hurt him the first time, I pushed my way inside him, steadying myself by gripping him by the hips. He pushed against me, panting groans roiling from deep inside him. He fell to his elbows, burying his face in the covers.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. I want it quick, Nick. Please --” He shuddered. “I’m so close.”

“I don’t want to hurt you --”

“Now, Nicholas.”

So I took him. Hard, fast, yet as smoothly as I could. He rocked against me, groaning in time to my thrusts. Heat shot through me, my skin inflamed. I lost all sense of reason, all sense of time. All I knew was the white-heat enveloping me, the incredible thrill of seeing my lover groaning as he took me in, the amazement I had burst through me as he pushed up onto his hands, arched his back and threw his head back, crying out as, finally, with an incredible groan of pure ecstasy, he came, his body clenching so hard around me that I knew, just knew we were fused permanently together, could never be torn apart.

Time would prove me wrong on that count.

But then, the future seemed very far away. All I knew was him. I exploded within him, crying out as he reared up and I wrapped my arms around his waist as wave after wave of passion rocketed through me and into him.

He folded over, taking me with him again. Great shudders wracked him. His skin was warm and clammy, and the rich smell of our sex enveloped us. He pulled me down and we fell to our sides, still joined, both of us senseless as we let the last rippling waves of shared pleasure roil over us.

We lay like that for the longest time, our breathing slowly evening out, our hearts calming. I couldn’t move. How wonderful and amazing and stunning and beautiful he was.

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Carolyn Gray

My hair plastered to my face, my skin flushed and warm, I lay against him, kissing his damp back, making him sigh in pleasure.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No. No. I want to lie like this forever, Nick.”

“I know. Me, too, Brandon. Me, too.”

* * * * *

“Nick?”

“What? Huh?”

“You were talking in your sleep.”

“What are you talking about? I wasn’t asleep.”

“Yes, you were. It must’ve been some dream you were having.” I grinned. “Mmm-hmm, it was.” I blinked, yawned. Lifted my head to look at Brandon, and smiled. I humped his leg, and he laughed, ruffling my hair.

“It’s time for you to go, Nicholas.”

I pushed myself up on my elbow and pouted at him. “You’re making me leave?”

“Jeff just poked his head in. Said you had to meet with Detective Anderson shortly.” I grimaced. “Yeah, I do. Just to talk about a few things.” He looked at me, his suspicions clear, but he smiled, lay back. Let it slide. “Just promise me something, will you?”

I stilled myself, remembering the last time -- was it just yesterday? -- that he’d dragged a promise out of me. “Yes, of course, Brandon. What is it?” I held my breath.

“That you’ll come back to me. You still owe me that bedtime story, you know.” I grinned. Waggled my eyebrows at him. Then I kissed him before pulling back and giving him the best, biggest, orneriest look of love I could. “I promise, Brandon. Tonight and forever, I’ll always come back to you. I don’t ever want you to doubt that, ever again.” A Red-Tainted Silence

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“Um, excuse me,” I said to the policewoman sitting at the desk. I looked around, feeling rather self-conscious. Jeff was a few feet away from me, talking to one of his former fellow cops.