We may also retreat into denial and announce that it's all the fault of society, rock music, or our ex-spouse. We may be willing to send the child to therapy but refuse to take part ourselves.
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During the last few years I've had all these feelings. I've gone through fear and blaming and feeling average and dumping on myself. I've gone through the regrets, thinking things would be different ''If only I had realized sooner that I was an alcoholic.'' I felt my life was falling to pieces. I had that desperate feeling that so much had gone wrong that I couldn't ever have a happy life, and that I had hurt my daughter beyond repair. Then I simply started working on the issues at hand.
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If we want our children to get better, we have to be willing to go to family therapy. We need to be willing to go without knowing what's wrong. Once in therapy, we can ask the fearful questions: What's wrong? What has to change?
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We will eventually discover something we can do to make the family situation healthier. Just as we only live one day at a time, we work on one issue at a time. Out of the huge fog of fear and terror and confusion, we will discover answers. I am not the perfect therapy candidate; I've often been defensive. But I've learned to say, "Yes, I'm
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