A Moment of Weakness (28 page)

“Have you read it?”

“Yep. Woman says she’s going to appeal, says she’s going to need a new attorney.”

“Yeah, I guess.” How could her first attorney have blown such an obvious case? Religious freedom was a protection guaranteed by the Constitution, pure and simple. Was the entire country losing its collective mind? He reached for the article and scanned the first few paragraphs while Matt waited.

“A Portland woman lost custody of her only son today because of her extreme religious views in what will no doubt
become a landmark case. Municipal Court Judge Arthur Goldberg made his decision based on the complaint by the woman’s husband. His complaint stated that their son was being forced to believe the same way as his mother. Goldberg cited the boy’s age as a leading factor in his decision against the child’s mother, Jade Rudolph, 31, of north Portland.”

Tanner’s eyes froze on the woman’s name.
Jade Rudolph. Age thirty-one. No, it wasn’t possible
. There had to be other women named Jade living in the Northwest. Besides, his Jade could have moved anywhere by now. It couldn’t be her. Not after all these years.

“You with me, Tanner? You look like you saw a burning bush or something.” Matt lowered his face and tried to make eye contact with Tanner. “Did I miss something?”

Tanner shook his head slowly. “It’s just the.” He met Matt’s questioning stare. “I knew a girl named Jade once.”

Matt’s expression went blank. “How ’bout that. Me, too. In first grade, I think.”

“No.” He didn’t expect Matt to understand. He’d never told Matt or anyone else about Jade and their summer and all she had meant to him. All she still meant to him. “I.I loved a girl named Jade once.”

“Oh.” Matt tried to look sympathetic, but it was obvious he wanted to return to the matter at hand. “You never mentioned her before.”

“It was a long time ago. I was going to marry her, but then.” Tanner gazed back at the article, at the woman’s name. “She married someone else.”

Matt leaned back in his chair, eyebrows raised. “You think it’s her?”

Tanner shrugged. “Could be, I suppose. It’d be a long shot.” He had never learned her married name. “I’m sure it’s not her.
She’s probably back living on the East Coast by now.”

Matt hesitated. “Anyway, we need to get on this right away. It’s the biggest issue this country’s faced yet. A mother losing custody of her child because of her religious beliefs.”

Tanner tried desperately to put thoughts of Jade out of his head. “Right. We need to contact her.” He thought about his schedule over the coming week. “Why don’t you see if she’s free this Thursday? I have appointments Wednesday and Friday, but if she’s all right with it, arrange to meet her. We’ll fly up Wednesday evening and meet with her Thursday morning.”

Matt nodded. “Done. I’ll go track her down.” He made his way toward the door. “I’ll let you know what I find, whether she’s open or not and if she’s interested in meeting. Last time I talked to her, she didn’t want our help.”

Tanner’s heart felt heavy as he considered the woman’s situation. “She’s lost her son, Matt.” He took the news clipping and folded it, tucking it into a fresh folder. “She’ll want our help now.”

There was no point sending Ty to school, not with deputies about to arrive at her house and escort her son away. She had explained it several times, but still Ty had spent much of the past thirty-six hours crying.

“Why, Mom? I don’t want to live with him and Kathy.” Ty had finished breakfast and was sitting across the table from her, desperate to understand why his world had just been turned upside down. “Tell them I don’t want to do it, Mommy, please.”

Jade leaned toward her son, pulling him close. Tears filled her eyes, but she held them back. She didn’t want Ty to see her crying. There would be time for that later.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m trying hard as I can to change this. We
need to pray, okay? God will help us be together again.”

Jade believed it with every fiber in her being. If she had doubted it for a moment, she would collapse with grief. Instead, she viewed this as a stunning mistake, an oversight that would be corrected soon. It had to be. A person didn’t lose custody of her child because of her faith. Not in the United States.

She ran her hand over Ty’s back and felt him shaking. “It’s okay, honey. Mommy’s going to pray, okay?”

Ty nodded, sobbing quietly against her sweater. Jade closed her eyes and lowered her voice so that it sounded soothing, even to her. “Dear Jesus, we are so sad at what’s happened. Please help me get Ty back soon, and please be with him as he goes to live with his dad for a while. Amen.”

Ty pulled away and studied her. “How come God let this happen to me, Mom?”

Jade had no answers. She smoothed a lock of hair off Ty’s forehead and kissed his cheek. “God has a plan in this, Ty. Things are going to work out. I promise.”

For a moment she could picture Tanner whispering those same words to her so long ago. Things hadn’t worked out then. Jade sighed.
Help me, Lord. My faith is so weak
.

Her prayer was interrupted by a phone call. “I’ll be right back, sweetheart.” She tousled Ty’s hair, moved into the kitchen, and answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Mrs. Rudolph?”

Jade recognized the voice on the other end, but she wasn’t sure from where. “Yes. This is she.”

The man sighed in what sounded like relief. “I found you. This is Matt Bronzan with CPRR, the Center for Preserving Religious Rights. I believe we spoke last week, am I right?”

Panic coursed through Jade. “Uh, yes. I called about my divorce.”

“Mrs. Rudolph, I saw the article in
The Oregonian
. You lost custody of your son two days ago, is that right?”

Jade struggled to speak past the lump in her throat. If this man knew who she was and the problem she was facing, did Tanner know, too? And if he knew, was it possible he realized who she was? “I … yes, at the …”

The man seemed to understand her sorrow. “It’s all right. Take your time.” He hesitated. “We’d like to represent you, Mrs. Rudolph. If that would work for you. We feel confident we can win back your custody rights.”

Tears streamed down Jade’s face, and a sob made its way to the surface. “I’m sorry. This is … very hard.”

“I understand.” The man paused. “Have you heard of our firm, Mrs. Rudolph?”

Jade’s crying subsided and she uttered a shaky sigh. “Yes.”

“Then you’ve heard of Tanner Eastman, the man who founded it.”

Heard of him? There was no way to hide from him. Jade remembered that day at Doris Eastman’s house, the day she learned the truth about Tanner. She had intended to leave everything about him behind her. She had taken complicated detours in life and done her best to lose track of him. Instead, his was the first face she saw every night while she slept. And in the morning, he was sitting at her breakfast table, smiling at her through the eyes of the little boy that meant everything to her.

“Yes, I’ve heard of him.”

Matt Bronzan sounded relieved. “He’s the best in cases like this. He and I would like to handle it together.” He paused, and Jade wondered if she could stand the shock of seeing Tanner again. Certainly his mother had kept her promise and told him nothing of her pregnancy. He would never guess that Ty was his son. Or would he?

“I’m not sure.” Her head was swimming. If Tanner found out, would he seek custody rights, too? Would he refuse to represent her case because the child was really his? Would he bring out a team of lawyers to sue her for defamation?

“Mrs. Rudolph,” the man’s voice was suddenly filled with concern. “It is not easy to overturn a decision. Especially one such as this. I think you should consider—”

“I’m sorry.” Jade interrupted. What was she thinking? So what if Tanner found out the truth? If he could help her win back custody of Ty, however that might happen, then she needed to agree. There was no other choice. “Please forgive me, Mr. Bronzan. Yes … I’d like your help very much.”

For a moment she considered telling this man that she knew Tanner. That way there would be no surprises. But she couldn’t bring herself to say the words. It had been too many years.

“We’d like to fly up and meet with you Thursday if possible. That way we can get to know you and the case a bit better.”

Jade managed a short laugh. “You mean see if I’m really a religious fanatic, like the paper says?”

The man did not laugh in response. “After our talk the other day, I’m confident you’re not a fanatic or a freak. But still, we need to talk.”

Jade squeezed her eyes shut. “Okay. Thursday is fine.” How could this be happening? After all these years she would actually see Tanner face to face in just a few days. What would she say to him? Would she hate him for pretending to love her all those years ago?

They finished making plans, and Jade hung up the phone. Her heart raced for fear of the future—especially the immediate future when she would turn her son over to deputies. But
somehow, as she made her way back to Ty, she found the courage to believe God was working.

And that seeing Tanner again might actually be part of the solution.

Four hours passed while Jade and Ty sat curled on the sofa, taking turns reading aloud from Michael Jordan’s biography. Two suitcases sat nearby, packed with her son’s favorite clothes and books and his basketball. When they grew tired of reading, they talked about his season and how quickly the years would pass before he’d play ball in high school.

“You’re still going to come to my games, right, Mom?” Ty’s eyes were dry and Jade was thankful. She’d prayed constantly throughout the afternoon, aware that her darkest moment was approaching. She owed it to Ty to be strong, and she was pleased to see he was not as frightened as he had been earlier.

“I wouldn’t miss ’em.” She kissed the top of his forehead. “I’m your biggest fan.”

“Do the police have to be there?”

Jade felt her heart sink. “No, Ty, why would you think that?”

“They have to be there when we spend time together, right?”

She felt her shoulders slump, and regardless of her resolve, her eyes grew wet again. “Yes.” She hugged him close. “But only for a while.”

“But why, Mom? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I know, sweetheart, but the courts are afraid I might take you and run away with you.”

Ty’s eyes lit up. “Hey, that’s a great idea! We could pack our bags and head for the woods or something. Kinda like a movie. The Wilderness Family, maybe.”

Jade studied her son, and her heart swelled with love for him. “Does sound sort of fun, doesn’t it?”

“I’m serious!” Ty was on his feet. “My stuff’s ready. We could have yours packed in a few minutes and be gone before the police get here.” He started for the stairs, but she took his hand gently in hers and pulled him back.

“Sweetie, it wouldn’t work. God wouldn’t want us running away like that.” She framed his small face with her fingers. “We just need to believe, Ty. God’s in control, and he’ll help us through this. In the meantime, I’m here. Any time you want to call me, just ask your dad. The judge said phone calls were okay whenever you wanted. Even if …”

Their conversation was interrupted by a sharp knock at the door.
The police
. Jade’s breathing came in short, desperate gasps.
This isn’t happening. It isn’t possible
. How long could she keep up the front for Ty? Jade forced herself to speak. “Come on, buddy, time to go.”

Ty hung his head and clutched her sweater as she lifted the suitcases and carried them to the door. They heard a second knock, and Jade caught the fearful look in her son’s eyes. She stooped down and met him at his level. Her throat was swollen with emotion and her voice was barely audible. “It’s okay. You’ll be back before you know it.”

She stood and forced herself to open the door. Two somber deputies stood there, and beyond them Jade could see Jim and his attorney waiting near Jim’s vehicle. None of this made sense. Why didn’t they trust her? She would have handed Ty over to Jim without the presence of officers and attorneys. Did Jim honestly think a police force was necessary to be sure she complied with court orders?

“Mrs. Rudolph, we’ve come for the boy.” The larger of the two officers stepped forward, and Jade wanted to push him off her porch. She felt like a criminal, and she could see Ty was starting to cry as he hovered beside her.

“If you don’t mind waiting down the walk a bit.” Jade studied the man through her tears. “I need to say good-bye.”

The deputies nodded, took Ty’s suitcases, and retreated ten paces. When they were out of earshot, Jade stooped once more to Ty’s level. He flung his arms around her neck and spoke in a muffled voice Jade knew she’d remember forever. “I love you.”

Jade swallowed hard. “Love you more.” She stroked the back of his head, clinging to him as if by doing so she could make the deputies outside disappear, make everything right, the way it had been before. “Ty, whatever happens, however long this takes, you know that Mommy loves you, right?”

Ty nodded. She could see he was trying to be strong. His cheeks were wet with tears, but he stood proudly, his back tall.

“Okay, then, come here.” Jade pulled her son close and held him, soaked in the warmth of his little body, and tried to memorize the feeling. She would miss him so much she wondered if she’d survive. The part of her that was moving and breathing and making decisions knew that through Christ she could do all things.

But right now she felt like a blind person balancing on a tightrope strung a thousand feet above shark-infested waters.

“I don’t want to go.” Ty’s voice broke, and it brought another wave of tears in Jade.

“Honey.” She looked at him, searching his eyes, willing him to understand.

His gaze fell and he nodded. “Okay. Bye …”

“Bye, honey. Call me.” She pulled him close once more. “And pray. We have to pray for each other, okay?”

One of the deputies shifted positions. “Ma’am, we need to take custody now. Your husband is waiting.”

Jade wanted to scream at the officer. Let Jim wait. Let him watch how Ty clung to her and hated to say good-bye. Let him
see that he was using this child as a pawn and very nearly destroying him in the process.