A Moment of Weakness (15 page)

She wanted desperately to talk to Tanner, get his reaction. He’d been in Hungary for a week and she had hoped to receive a letter from him but so far there had been nothing, no word at all. Would he want her to move out to New Jersey and marry him immediately? Would he send her away, sickened by the sight of her? She thought she knew the answer, but she wasn’t sure anymore. Everything had changed.

Should she tell her father? She would have to let him know eventually. But how would he take the news? What names would he call her? Jade wept again because she knew the answer. The weeping and wondering and wishing she could go back in time continued until late in the evening, when finally she arrived at a plan. She would call and see if Tanner’s mother knew a way to get a message to him. He had explained to Jade that the group leaders allowed only emergency phone calls back to the U.S. Surely this would qualify. After all, it was his baby, too. Between the two of them, they could figure out what to do.

She made the call the next morning and waited. Tanner’s mother answered on the second ring.

“Hello, Mrs. Eastman, this is Jade.” She waited but there was no happy greeting, no words of acknowledgment. Jade started to tremble, and a wave of nausea forced her to sit down. “Mrs. Eastman? Are you there?”

“Jade.” the woman sounded as though she were trying to place her, almost as if they’d never met.
How come she doesn’t know who I am?
Hadn’t Tanner been talking about her during his visits? An alarm rang deep within her.

“Ma’am, this is Jade Conner … Tanner’s friend from Williamsburg. Remember? We visited your house together a few times back in June?”

“Oh! That Jade. Yes, I’m sorry. Forgive me. I must have been distracted.” Mrs. Eastman sounded friendlier, and Jade breathed a sigh of relief. “How are you, dear?”

“Uh … fine, thanks. And you?”

“Well, I must admit my arthritis has been acting up. But otherwise I’m just fine. Getting ready for the move back to Williamsburg and missing Tanner, of course. But otherwise good.”

“That’s what I’m calling about.” Jade waited a beat and then plunged ahead. “I was wondering if you knew some way to get a message to Tanner?” She crossed her arms against her stomach and closed her eyes. She felt like she was going to throw up but now was not the time. She held a piece of notepaper in her hand and prepared to jot down whatever numbers Tanner’s mother might give her.

“In Hungary?”

Jade exhaled slowly and breathed in again, forcing herself to continue the conversation. “Yes. I thought you might know who to call.”

“Why, dear, surely you know he can’t receive calls. He’s on a missionary trip.” The woman sounded pleased with her son, and Jade wondered if she’d had a change of heart. Tanner had said his mother had been furious when she learned of his intentions to change career paths and spend two months in Hungary.

“Yes, ma’am, I know he can’t. This … well, this is kind of an emergency. I really need to talk to him.”

“An emergency? Why, Jade, are you okay?” The woman’s voice was filled with warmth and concern, and Jade felt tears sting at her eyes. If only her own mother had been there to comfort her and give her direction.

She swallowed hard. “I’m fine. It’s … well, it’s very important that I talk to him.”

“I’m sorry, dear. I’m fairly certain I don’t have any numbers.” The woman sounded worried for Jade. “Of course, we could always call Youth with a Mission. They might know how to reach him.” She hesitated. “If you don’t mind, Jade, what’s the emergency?”

Jade almost wanted to tell her. Maybe Tanner’s mother would know what to do next, maybe even find the right words
to assure her everything would be okay. “It’s … personal, ma’am.”

Mrs. Eastman hesitated. “Personal?”

Jade paused. “Yes. I really don’t want to talk about it until I’ve had a chance to speak to Tanner.”

For several moments Mrs. Eastman said nothing, and Jade assumed she was searching for numbers. She was completely unprepared for the serenity in the woman’s voice—or for what she said next. “Are you pregnant, Jade?”

Jade’s vision grew blurred and she thought she would faint. What was this? How had Tanner’s mother known? Jade blinked and tried to focus on her surroundings. Maybe she hadn’t heard the woman correctly. “Excuse me?”

“I’m sorry if I’m prying, but … Tanner told me what happened. That the two of you slept together. He was quite honest about it.”

Jade’s head swam in a sea of unanswered questions. Why had Tanner told his mother? He’d been afraid to tell her they were dating, but now he’d told her they’d slept together? She gulped and searched for something to say. “He … he told you that?”

“Why yes, dear. He tells me everything. We’re quite close, you know.”

“I.I know. I just didn’t think.”

“Well, dear, are you pregnant?”

Jade began crying. “Yes … I am.” She struggled to speak. “That’s why Tanner and I have to talk. I don’t know what to do, Mrs. Eastman. Please … help me.”

The woman’s voice was soothing and reassuring. “Tomorrow is Sunday. Why don’t you drive down, and we’ll spend the afternoon together. I’m sure we can figure something out.”

“Okay.” She thought about attending Crossroads on the way down, but then changed her mind. They hadn’t recognized the fact that she came from tainted parents, but surely they would recognize what she had become since then. She would avoid church until she had a plan and knew what to do. “Would two o’clock be fine?”

“Yes, dear. I’ll look for you then. Drive safely.”

Jade’s heart soared with hope as she hung up. Tanner’s mother liked her! She had been warm and kind and understanding in the wake of what had to have been the most shocking news she’d ever received. Maybe Tanner had told his mother about his intentions to marry her.

Jade lay back on her bed, her mind racing ahead to a host of possibilities. Maybe Mrs. Eastman would ask her to come around more often, offer to attend doctor appointments with her. Perhaps she would be the mother Jade had always wanted and everything would fall in place.

If Mrs. Eastman could love her, then life was suddenly filled with promise. Maybe things really would turn out all right.

She ignored her father that evening, skipped dinner, and for the first time since Tanner left, she slept soundly. The morning couldn’t come soon enough, and when it did she hummed happily to herself as she got ready. Whether they figured out a way to contact Tanner or not, Jade knew that with Mrs. Eastman on her side everything was going to be okay. The plans she and Tanner had made were shaky, but they were still intact. God had forgiven her.

And he had blessed her with a friend like Mrs. Eastman in the process.

D
ORIS
E
ASTMAN PACED THE PLUSH CARPET OF HER UPTOWN
condominium, fuming. She had been right, of course. On every account. Jade Conner was a loose, good-for-nothing seductress just like her mother.

The nerve of the girl, calling her for information about how to reach Tanner.

Doris replayed the conversation over and over. The moment Jade mentioned that there was an emergency, bells began sounding in her mind. She knew what kind of girl Jade was. The emergency could be one thing only.

When Jade mentioned it was personal, Doris had taken a chance. Tanner hadn’t told her anything about his relationship with Jade. Through July and August she’d asked him to stop bringing the girl to her house and he’d agreed. He hadn’t even put up a fight. How important could the girl be to him, really?

Doris considered herself a Christian woman, but she’d had no trouble lying to Jade earlier. Nor would she hesitate to do what she planned when Jade arrived. She would lie a hundred times if it meant protecting Tanner from a girl like Jade. Besides, if she hadn’t lied, Jade would never have opened up to her in the first place, never planned to visit that afternoon. Doris wondered what other dark secrets she could extract from the girl.

Not that it mattered.

Doris planned to do most of the talking. She tapped her
foot anxiously and looked at her watch. Her plan was perfect, and she congratulated herself for being so cunning in her old age.

Woe to you, woman … remember the height from which you have fallen.…

The thought interrupted her plotting, and she scowled. Where had
that
come from? She hadn’t read a Bible in twenty years. For a moment she thought of Tanner and the hours he’d spent preaching to her, warning her to get right with God again. Huh! What a hypocrite he turned out to be.

Perhaps she should have told him long ago what had happened with his father. How during her engagement to Hap, that Conner woman had shown up on his doorstep one night … how she’d wormed her way inside, just like the women in Proverbs. And how she’d …

Doris couldn’t bear the thought.

But at least if she’d told Tanner, he might have made better choices that summer. She considered her son’s decisions over the past months and shook her head angrily. The boy was crazy. First he’d given up his political future. Then he’d decided to spend two months on a missionary trip to God-forsaken Hungary. And finally he’d bedded the daughter of a … a woman like Angela Conner. Obviously Tanner had suffered some sort of mental breakdown or emotional collapse over the summer. Perhaps a delayed reaction to his father’s death.

Whatever it was, it was all Jade’s fault.

She looked at her watch again.

Hurry up, Jade
. She smiled.
The web’s ready and the spider’s waiting
.

Jade parked her car outside the Eastman condominium, grabbed the bouquet of fall flowers from the front seat, and
headed up the sidewalk. She had eaten a few saltine crackers on the drive over to stave off any nausea. Although pregnancy was completely foreign to her, she thought it must have been early to be experiencing so strong an upset stomach. Maybe Tanner’s mother would help her know what to do, and what to expect in the coming weeks and months.

She hoped Mrs. Eastman would enjoy the flowers. She was filled with peace at the thought of knowing she could talk about her pregnancy and that Tanner’s mother truly cared about what happened to her. She rang the doorbell and waited.

Doris Eastman was always dressed impeccably and today was no exception. She wore an eggshell knit skirt, a sweater with a pearl snap, and handsome, low-healed shoes. She welcomed Jade with a warm smile and ushered her inside. “Come in, Jade. You look well.”

They moved into the front room, and Mrs. Eastman directed her to a comfortable oversized sofa chair. “Make yourself at home.… I’ll get us something to drink.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” A sense of warmth came over her at the woman’s words, and Jade played them again in her mind.
Make yourself at home … at home … at home
.

Tanner’s mother returned with two glasses of water. When they were both situated, Doris cocked her head, her eyes filled with concern. “Now, dear. Tell me what happened?”

Jade drew a deep breath and pressed her hand to her flat stomach. “I can’t really believe it myself.”

“You’re sure though? You took a test?”

Jade nodded. “I’m already feeling sick. It’ll probably be a strong baby.”

Tanner’s mother slipped one leg daintily over the other. “Have you told anyone else?”

Jade took a sip of water and shook her head. “Just you.” She
let loose a brief laugh. “Never in a million years did I think Tanner would have told you about us.”

Mrs. Eastman smiled. “Tanner and I talk about everything.” She paused and dabbed her lips with a napkin. “Whenever he gets in trouble, I’m the first person he turns to.”

What a wonderful mother she is
. Jade relaxed back into the chair and noticed that her nausea was gone. She was perfectly at ease in Mrs. Eastman’s home, struck again by her gracious concern and kindness. Why had she ever doubted this woman’s intentions? She was gentle and serene and warm as the recent Indian summer days. Jade imagined her offering support every time Tanner.

Every time he got into trouble? She hesitated. “That can’t have been too often, knowing Tanner. His getting in trouble, I mean.” She grinned, enjoying the easy banter of their conversation.

Mrs. Eastman leaned slightly forward and took another sip of water. “Not as a boy, no. But ever since the girls discovered him—” the woman made a face that indicated the severity of the problem—“he’s gotten in trouble more times than I care to count.”

Tanner? In trouble with girls?
The pointed blade of alarm stabbed at Jade, and she felt the smile fade from her face. “Is that right?”

The woman looked surprised. “Oh, didn’t he tell you, dear?”

Jade had the strange sensation that something bad was about to happen. “Tell me what?”

“Tanner has two children on the East Coast.” Mrs. Eastman folded her hands comfortably. “Of course, he doesn’t talk about them often. I send their mothers a check every month, and that’s about the extent of it.”

Jade’s vision grew blurred again and her head was swimming. What was this woman saying? Tanner had no other children. He’d never even been with a … “I … I didn’t know.”

Doris angled her head sadly. “I’m sorry, dear. I thought you knew.” She spanned the distance between them and reached for Jade’s hand. “Tanner can be an awfully convincing storyteller, I’m afraid.”

“How … how old are the children?” Jade felt like she was having an out-of-body experience. She was talking, desperate to know the truth about the man she thought she loved. But her breathing seemed to have stopped, and she was certain she was going to faint.

“Amy is three. Tanner met her mother his senior year in high school. They were very physical, very fast, but Tanner never cared for her. He offered to pay for an abortion, but the girl wouldn’t hear of it. Now she gets her monthly check like clockwork.”

The nausea was back with a vengeance, and Jade knew she needed a bathroom. She forced herself to wait, to hear the sickening news. “The other child?”

“Justin. Almost two.” Mrs. Eastman paused. “Tanner had three women between the mothers of the children. Two of them took him up on his offer and had abortions. The other one must have gotten smart and used birth control. There’s been at least five women that I know of. What I mean is, this certainly isn’t the first time I’ve helped him out of trouble.” Mrs. Eastman’s eyes softened, and she gently squeezed Jade’s hand. “I guess you’re number six.”