A Little Bit of Truth (Little Bits) (19 page)

There’s no way I’d be able to make it work. I have movies lined up for the next two years and during the next two years I’ve no doubt I’ll have more lined up for the years following. Could I do that and juggle a relationship with somebody not in the film industry? Or even in the film industry?

Part of me says yes (it’s the hopeful part) but the biggest part of me says no (the realistic part).

Which is why I’ve settled on the fact that Marie’s and my time together has finally come to an end. I just hope I can restore our friendship. As for anything else, it’s not wise to pursue that road. The whole of me mourns this loss, I’ll miss her, I’ll miss being inside of her, I’ll miss the whimpers she makes when I thrust into her depths and the way her eyes light up when she sees me. The little things, I’ll miss them all but we never had a commitment in the first place, not a serious one.
It’s time to let that chapter go and turn the page.

So I send her a text. Because when I decide something, I like to get it over with. Then I link my arm with Beth’s and take her to Trafalgar square and take a picture of her in front of the lions on my smartphone.

I’m sat editing pictures on my laptop when the text comes. I’m not really sure what to make of it so I don’t respond, I just stare at it for two long minutes.

Jacob
:
I’m an idiot for hurting you. I want our friendship back, we were good before we were fucking, I want that back and I want it to stay that way. I miss you. Call me.

What the fuck does that even mean? Is he saying he doesn’t want to fuck anymore? Well clearly he is, but why? What’s brought this on? Sure we’re mad at each other but we never had a relationship to end in the first place. Maybe he’s finally bored. He wanted us to remain faithful while we were screwing. He’s probably surrounded by women and sick of sticking to just one.

Gah. Who the fuck cares?

And then I realize… I do. I care. Then I throw my phone against the wall and get back to work on my photos.

Fuck him. Fuck them all.

The only man that ever tried to take it past the third fuck, finally decides to give up. I should be elated. I’m not. I’m not done with him yet, but I’m certainly not going to chase him.

So I decide right now, to give up
the only man who’s ever tried.

******

“What about this one?” Maya asks as she holds up thin, purple netted fabric.

My punishment for teaching her daughter the word moron is unfortunately to escort her while she chooses fabrics for her wedding. Not sure why a wedding needs fabric.

“For the table cloths, the chairs, Christ you’re dumb.”

For one, I didn’t realize I said that out loud and for two, what a bitch. I’m not dumb!

“Yeah, that color looks great.” Could I sound anymore bored?

“I’m calling
Summer, consider your punishment over,” she snaps haughtily and puts her phone to her ear. I want to do a victory dance but I can see I’ve hurt her feelings so I quickly snatch the phone from her ear and disconnect the call, “I’m sorry. I’ll do better I promise.”

An inner voice screams at me to not make promises I probably won’t be able to keep.

Maya fortunately perks up… a little too much. And then her face falls again. “What’s going on with you? You seem so… absent. And I’m not just talking about all of this wedding planning.”

I shrug, indifference is key right now, “I’m fine.” Really reassuring Marie, well done, bravo, you fucking moron. Maya didn’t fall for that one bit. “Okay, I dunno, I guess I’m just dealing with a lot right now.”

She stares at me for a moment, her eyes scan my face, then she relents, “Okay I won’t ask again. When you’re ready just talk to me. I hate knowing you’re dealing with shit. It’s making me feel useless as a friend.”

Why does she have to be so sweet? I take her hand in mine, “You’re doing great just being you.” We smile at each other, a moment between
old friends. “Did Loryn tell you she hired two new people to work in the salon. Toby and Raquel. Toby is twenty eight and Raquel is thirty three. Lovely woman with two kids.”

“Yeah, I was there seeing as you weren’t,” she quirks a brow when I look at her quizzically. “During the interviewing process, Loryn didn’t have a clue so I helped.”

Shit. Okay, so maybe I’ve been a bit of a hermit since I received that text two weeks ago. I’m not sure why, I just couldn’t figure out what to do with myself. As soon as I finished work I went straight home.

Every. Single. Day.

“You know what I need?”

“What?”

I force a bright smile, “I need a night out.” And to fuck. I need to fuck.

This is ridiculous, I can’t keep doing this to myself, my head’s a mess. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

“Okay,” Maya says and rubs her hands together. “Let’s go out tonight, just you and me
, like old times.”

“Really?” This makes me happy.

“Really, I could use a good drink.”

“Okay,” I jump on the spot for a moment. “Now step away from the peach colored fabric, it’ll clash with the bridesmaid dresses.”

Maya wipes a non-existent tear from her eye, “That’s my girl.”

Then we cackle.

The past two weeks have sucked, really fucking sucked. London (England obviously) is awesome but I find my taste for adventure has rapidly dropped. I spend most of my nights working out while I drink beer. Yeah, it’s a bad combination but for some reason it’s what I like to do at the moment.

Work is fine, I’m a master at pretending so nobody has noticed my moods. Nobody but Beth who keeps insisting on keeping me company and ignoring me when I turn her away. It’s driving me crazy. The need to speak with Marie that is. She never responded to my text a
nd I’m not sure what to make of it.

Now
it’s early hours of the morning, I can’t fucking sleep. I’m guessing it’s about midnight in the city so I call Maya, I know I shouldn’t, it’s not fair on her, but I do. I just need to know where I stand right now and it’s not like Marie is answering when I call.

“Hello?” she answers immediately and then starts giggling. What the fuck is that noise? Is she out? Is Marie with her? “Jacob?” Right… I’m supposed to talk.

“Hey,” smooth, real smooth Jacob.

“Hey.”

“What are you doing?”

“Umm…” Snort, giggle. “Sorry, Marie’s doing body shots. Can I call you back?”

Body shots? My stomach lurches. “With who?”

“I’m with Marie,” she practically shouts over the loud music.

“No, I said who’s she doing body shots with?”

“Oh… umm, what’s your name?”

Sigh. “It’s Jacob.”

“Not you… the guy she’s doing body shots with.”

I feel sick. “Please tell me you’re fucking kidding me.”

“What?”

Dammit. “I said, please tell me you’re joking!”

“About what?” Giggle. “No, don’t move! You’ll spill the… what’s this…?” I hear somebody say something indecipherable. “Vodka? Oh.”

“Hello?”

“Oh, hi Jakey boy. How’s it going?”

“She’s with a guy?” my hand clenches the phone. My body tenses.

“Who?”

Dear god, this is the worst fucking conversation of my life. “Marie, you drunken asshole! Put her on!”

“Marie, phone for you,” Maya must be getting closer because I can hear Marie’s laughter.

“That tickles, stop it,” she laughs and then sobers slightly to greet me, “Hello?”

I run my fingers through my hair, “Marie.”

“Jacob!” Okay, she sounds happy to hear from me. “What’s up buddy?” Buddy?

“What are you doing?”

“None of your fucking business that’s what I’m doing. How’s England? Is it good?” Okay, maybe she’s not as happy as originally thought. In fact she sounds down right bitter.

“Well…”

“Wanna know a secret?”

“Yeah.”

“I really don’t give a fuck.” And then the phone disconnects. What the hell? She’s kidding right? She did not just hang up on me.

I raise my hand, ready to throw my phone
in anger but a better idea comes to mind.

I call James.

And then I punch a wall to get rid of the ache in my chest and the bile in my throat.
It doesn’t work, it only intensifies my frustration as I’m now in pain and it’s all her fault. 

The thought of Marie
with another man… it sickens me. Shit. This feeling is not good.

So I wait, and I wait.

And I wait…

So I met a guy called Robert, and he’s smoking hot. And I’m drunk. And Maya is drunk. So now I’m lying on the bar while Robert licks salt off the curve of my boobies and sucks tequila from my naval and then bites the lemon between my lips. This is fun. Maya is filming it with drunk and unsteady hands I think, or maybe it’s my eyes that are drunk and unsteady.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Uh-oh.

“Uh-oh,” Maya voices my thoughts and I’m over a shoulder. Whose shoulder?

“Dude, the world looks awesome from this side down,” I slur and my nose bashes against someone’s ass. The ass of whoever is carrying me. “Who called the fun police?”

“Back off asshole,” I hear Lucas shout and watch him shove a protesting Robert away from us. Looks like I’m not getting laid tonight.

Then I hear James say, “Make sure Maya doesn’t fall. I’ve got Marie.” Oh, James is carrying me. Why’s James carrying me?

“I thought I could fucking trust you,” James snaps at Maya as he carries me past her. Oh shit.

Maya on
ly smiles a drunken smile while hanging onto Lucas’ arm. I place my hands on James’ hips and lift my torso so I can look at her, “Why’s he carrying me?”

She giggles, “I have no fucking idea but it’s kind of sexy. Not you… I mean him, I mean you do look sexy but he also looks sexy like always, especially now while carrying someone… although if it was any other female I’d be clawing their eyes out.”

Lucas quirks a brow at me, I wink at him and flop back over James’ shoulder. Then everything goes black. I’m sure I started snoring before I even shut my eyes but I can’t be certain.

“Wake me up when it’s all over!” I hear Maya singing as I’m thrown onto something soft. “When I’m wiser and I’m older!”

“Dear Lord, deliver me,” James grumbles and I feel my shoes leave my feet. Then a blanket is thrown over me and Maya squeals. Then she lands in bed beside me. Then the door slams shut and we’re alone, at least, I think we’re alone.

“James is mad at me,” Maya laughs like this is the funniest thing in the world. “I told him we weren’t going to get drunk or be late or go out anywhere remotely fun. I was being sarcastic though. I thought he knew that.”

“Quiet,” I or
der and move closer to her so I can cling to her with my arm and leg, like a baby monkey would cling to their mother after birth. “Sleep.”

“Ah, this reminds me of college.”

“Body pillows don’t talk Maya,” I mumble around a yawn and press my forehead to her cheek.

“This one does.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Clearly it does.”

“I’m going to suffocate you.”

I feel her body shaking with laughter before she turns and snuggles up to me, “Awesome night Marie.”

“Yeah.”

“Love you Marie.”

“Uh-huh,” and then I sleep and so does she.

“Should we wake them?”
Lucas’ whisper fans at the fog of my sleepy mind. I hear a few clicks, bastard is taking pictures.

Hmm, I’m so warm. Is Jacob here, no, Jacob doesn’t have…
oh dear. Is that a tit in my hand?

I sit bolt upright and remove my hand from Maya’s go
ods. Laughter sounds around me piercing my brain like a pin in a balloon.

Pop.

Maya slowly awakens, stretches, looks around, sees Lucas and James stood at the door with their phones out and then pulls the blanket over her head while grinning.

“Ugh,” I rub my head. “Where the fuck am I?”

“At our place,” James responds and dives on top of a blanket covered Maya who starts laughing.

“Why are you here?” I ask Lucas. “Where’s Loryn?”

“In the kitchen making you both hangover cures,” Lucas responds. Ah, I do love that woman.

“Awesome,” then I pull the blanket back over my head. “I’m not forgiving you for being cock blockers last night.”

“You will when you sober up some more,” Lucas says and he’s right. About the; me still being drunk part, because I am still drunk. I drank way too much. Did I speak to Jacob last night? I don’t remember. I remember body shots and I remember Maya filming it. I remember being carried but I only sort of remember speaking to someone on Maya’s phone. I’m pretty sure it was Jacob, which would suck because I don’t remember being pleasant to whoever was on the phone.