A Little Bit of Truth (Little Bits) (21 page)

I had an argument with Beth today. She says I always look stiff when I’m with her. Probably because I am. I told her I wanted her to back off a little bit, she acted like I was seriously breaking up with her. Started crying, it was a little uncomfortable.

This is why I miss you, you never cry.

P.S. If you were here would you make me soup and rub that vapor shit into my chest?

P.P.S.S. I’d definitely do that for you if you were poorly.

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From:
[email protected]

To:
[email protected]

Subject:
I bet you would stud!!
  

No, I most definitely would not…

I had a fight with Maya over cakes. I want to go to the cake testing but she says it’s for her and James. What a bitch!

As for Beth, cut her some slack, she has the hots for you.

As if you don’t do all of your own stunts, pussy boy. Now whenever I watch a movie of yours I’m going to shout out… that’s not him that’s (insert name of stunt double here) his stunt double.

Did you know I do all of my own stunts? Impressive right? ;) ;) ;)

My brother thought he’d broken the vacuum. He thought the button to make the bristles spin was in fact the on button. That was amusing for all of five minutes.

He needs to go.

No he doesn’t.

I’m undecided.

+++++++++++++

From:
[email protected]

To:
[email protected]

Subject:
Pussy boy? Is this an invitation?

Your various stunts are exceeeeeeeedingly good. There can be no replacement for you in this particular area.

When I come down I’ll take you to a cake testing. We’ll just pretend we’re getting married and see what free stuff we can get. I’ll wear a disguise… or not, because I get a lot of stuff for free in my own skin. Lord knows why. I don’t understand that at all, people are so eager to give to the wealthy… aka me, Beth, Maya, etc. Yet they’ll do nothing for a homeless person or people who actually need it. Makes me feel festive and giving. You should volunteer somewhere for me.

Your brother is hilarious. Don’t throw him out, you love him and would miss him. Plus you don’t know when he’s going again.

Tell Mason I say hi.

Actually don’t, he might beat me for talking to you. (What is up with that?)

I’m undecided.

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It’s impossible to stay mad when you’re feeling so elated.

It’s impossible to remain depressed when you’re feeling so elated. A huge weight has lifted and I’m feeling good. She forgives me! Or maybe she was never that bothered in the first place.

Either one is bad. I never want to hurt her but at the same time…

My life is so boring right now. I’m desperate to go back to the city and hang with my friends. Maybe send for my mum soon, although as much as I love her I just can’t be doing with her whining right now.

Ugh, my head hurts, my throat is sore and I need sleep. Fortunately I’ve been allowed time off to recover because even makeup artists can’t hide how shit I look and no tablet will cure how shit I feel.

“Knock, knock,” Landon steps into my room. We’re in a hotel for a few days due to filming at a new location and because I’m ill, they don’t want me in a trailer while I recover. “Shit, dude you look like, well, shit.”

“Ung,” I grunt and face plant my pillow. “Water.”

“Such a flare for the dramatics,” he laughs as I reach my aching arm out and search for the water on my nightstand. I find it, sip it, put it back and face plant the pillow again. “You’re in quarantine, you know that right? Nobody is allowed in here but the doctor.”

“Yep.
” I cough, it rattles my bones it’s that ragged and chesty.

“Shit dude, you sound like hell,” Landon laughs like me dying is the funniest thing in the world. “Want to watch English soccer?”

“They call it football and whatever. Why are you here if I’m in quarantine?”

“If I get sick we’ll get another few days in the hotel,” he smiles conspiratorially.

The guy’s a genius.

“Want me to spit in your mouth?”

Landon blanches, “that’s a fucked up question dude.”

Smile. “Yeah.” But Marie would have said it and would have laughed hearing me say it. “It is isn’t it?”

He opens the minibar and pulls out a small bottle of wine, “Not my usual but it’ll do.”

My phone rings, it’s Beth.
I ignore it.

“What’s wrong?”
Landon must see me cringe.

“The woman.”

“Ah,” Landon scrunches up his face knowingly. “I feel bad for her but she’s like a child. You’d think she’s never had male to female contact before.”

“She’s nice enough,” I admit. “
Just too clingy.”

“Like a rash.”

“Ha! Yeah, that’s what I said the other day. I like her, she’s a cool girl and really funny but she’s taking this relationship way too seriously. Even when the cameras aren’t there she’s all up in my face. The other week she came to my trailer in a dressing gown, which is fine to make the others think we’re fucking. But she actually took it off when she got inside.”

“Fucking A,” Landon laughs. “What was she
wearing?” I give him a pointed look that says it all. “Not much then.”

“She wants to seduce me but she doesn’t just want to fuck me. I’ve told her I’m not into commitment.”

“What’d she say?”

“She says she can convince me.”

Landon barks out another laugh, I join in.

He sobers after a moment, “I seriously can’t wait to go home.”

I nod in agreement, “Yeah. Home.”

Home. Is that what
Marie, Maya, James, Lucas, Loryn, Summer, Chris and the kids are to me now? Home. I smile wistfully at the thought. Then I repeat it again. Home. Home. Home.

Sounds good.

No. It sounds great.

“Dude, this football sucks,” Landon grumbles as we watch a bunch of men kick a ball up and down a field. “Where’s the blood? Where’s the contact? Where are the broken bones and broken dreams?”

“There’s something really wrong with you.”

Landon nods in agreement, “My momma tells me that every fucking day.”

“You should meet Marie. You’d like her, she comes out with crazy shit and always has this blank look on her face. Nothing fazes her. She says it how it is you know? Kind of like you.”

“She hot?”

“Fuck yeah, hottest girl I’ve ever seen,” I find the words can be said easily because they’re the truth. “She’s an animal.”

“I’m guessing you two are better than just acquainted then.”

Heat floods to my groin as his words trigger delicious memories, “Fuck yeah. We’re friends again though, I hope. Never fuck a friend if you want to stay friends after the fucking’s finished.”

“The way you speak about her sounds like you don’t want the fucking to be finished.”

I laugh loudly at the irony of this entire situation. I end it and it’s me that wants it. “She’s a commitment phobe who enjoys casual sex, I’m the same. We get bored easy so we decided to try each other out.”

“Try each other…” he cuts himself off with a laugh. “That’s crazy. I’m guessing neither of you got bored easy?”

“Nah, things got complicated, we ended it before it got any more complicated,” Or I did anyway.

He nods slowly and looks up in thought, “I guess I can see the logic in that. With your job, my job even, it’s tough to hold down a trusting relationship.”

“Yeah. She’s a photographer with her own studio, doing fucking awesome too. So it’s not like she can up and leave when it suits her.” I have a mini coughing fit and pull the throw tighter around me like the baby that I am.

“Sounds to me like Beth is barking up a tree that’s already been pissed on.”

Huh? “Huh?”

“Just saying,” Landon holds up his hands. “You’ve not had a woman since you came here and it’s not like you haven’t had a chance. It’s not just Beth you’ve turned down.” He’s right. “And I’ve heard of you and your various women, just like you’ve heard of me and mine and seen me in action
wooing the ladies while I’ve been here. So what’s holding you back?”

Good fucking question. “I hadn’t even…” Fuck. “Not even…” Shit. “What the fuck?”

Landon grins wickedly, “Seems to me shit’s already complicated.”

“Nah, I’v
e just been busy and not wanting to risk it,” I’m lying, totally lying.

“If that’s the truth then fuck Beth or someone.”

“I’m not in love with Marie.” I scowl because I’m not, no way in hell.

He laughs loudly and raises his hands in surrender, “You said it not me.”

“Fuck.”

“Just fuck her out of your system.”

This I will agree to. “Yeah. We’ve just gotten shit sorted. No need to complicate things with this. Love doesn’t last forever even if it is true.” Which it’s not.

“You’re probably not in love with her. I was in love once, I couldn’t stay away, couldn’t handle the thought of her with someone else, got addicted to the little thing
s like waking up in the morning with her next to me. It didn’t go away easy.”

“I don’t have any of that.” Another total lie. “
Not at all. I just love her pussy.”

Landon shrugs, “Pussy is pussy Jacob.
You can get it anywhere.”

Fuck.

He doesn’t stop, “You can buy candy anywhere, it’s all the same. But then you get those special ones in a wrapper, tastes the same but also different. Mostly because of the wrapper, maybe it’s colorful, maybe it’s not. The chocolate’s the same but everything else is different.”

“So basically pussy is chocolate and the girl is the wrapper?”

“Pretty much.”

“Right.”

“You always go back to the same bar, you find your favorite and even though there are hundreds of others on the shelf that taste just as sweet, there is that one in particular that you like the best.”

Fuck me. He has a point. “So Marie is my favorite kind of candy?”

“You said it.”

He’s right. I did.

Even though his analogy is weird as fuck, it makes sense. To me and my not so bright brain it makes sense.

“Now you’ve just got to figure out what you want to do with your favorite candy. Take a taste of the others
and find a new favorite, or go back to the one you’ve got.”

“Marie doesn’t do commitment and neither do I.”

“Sounds to me like you’re already committed dude, you just got to get that shit down in writing so to speak.” He rubs his hands together, smiling smugly like the genius he is right now.

Already committed? Is that a joke? I’m not committed to Marie any more than she’s committed to me.

I think.

I hope.

Or do I?

I’m too ill for this
.

“Turn this shit off and get out before you get ill,” I order good-naturedly. “We need to wrap this
movie up and fast. I’ve got things to sort out back home.”

+++++++++++++

From:
[email protected]

To:
[email protected]

Subject:
Pussy Boy!! This is not an invitation, it is an insult…
  

I was thinking about volunteering for the suicide hotline but then I decided otherwise. A hard bitch I may be, but I could be talked round if somebody presented a good argument and find myself an accessory to suicide.

I volunteered at the soup kitchen when in University, with Maya and
Summer. They made me do it and I got pneumonia. It sucked. So that one’s out too.

My brother has been overprotective since before I can remember. I don’t know why. Back when we were kids, this boy pushed me over for no reason (complete cunt) and my brother threw a rock at him. It was funny until we realized the kid was unconscious. (The cunt was fine in the end).

We’ve always been close, always. We never argued much as kids, not in an angry way, only the same way we do now, it’s just fun you know?

I was even going to join the army like he did but then I won that scholarship that Maya’s dad set up. That’s how Maya and I met. Did I ever tell you that? We ended up rooming together and became close and then
Summer came along. Then Jessica.