Valeria’s Cross (19 page)

“Stay away from this woman who is your father’s wife,” Romula warned. “And you,” she said, turning to point a gnarled finger at her granddaughter, “if you desire a happy life and fruitful marriage, I suggest you avoid her as well.”

Stunned, Valeria wondered where Romula’s hatred and venom had originated. Though she had made her disapproval of Galerius’ marriage to Valeria known, undoubtedly because of her refusal to worship the pagan gods, the two women had at least been able to speak civilly to one another before this. Quite obviously that was no longer the case, and Valeria knew it did not bode well for her.

V
aleria was unsure of where to turn or what to say or do, so she mumbled a polite goodbye to Romula and Daza, and followed her stepdaughter to help her dress for the ceremony.

“You have not seen the last of me,” Daza called to her. Valeria ignored him, but she was sure her stepdaughter had noticed her trembling.

“Are you frightened of them?” young Valeria asked when they were in the next room.

Valeria considered her answer before shaking her head in denial. After all, she was not really lying. It was not fear in the true sense of the word, but rather that she was unsure of herself and her actions because of her strong attraction to this man she had just met, though she knew she would never do anything to shame her husband or dishonor her God—or the memory of Mauritius. Yet Daza was a force to be reckoned with. How dare he march into her heart and life without warning!

“I am so sorry,” her stepdaughter sighed. “They had no right to treat you that way. Nonna is not as bad as she appears, but she is highly superstitious, and she especially does not trust
Christians. And Daza—his good looks and charms have rotted him to the core. He believes he is the gift of the gods to all women.” She laughed. “Sometimes I fear he is right. He is terribly handsome, is he not?”

Valeria forced a smile, not wanting to reveal her true feelings. “He is a charmer, but he is also obnoxious.”

“For his sake, I hope Father does not hear how he tormented you. I may be upset with Daza over his behavior toward you, but I can assure you that my father would be furious. He would not be too happy with Nonna either. Will you tell Father?”

“No.”

The bride appeared relieved. “You are very generous. Neither of them deserves your kindness, but I am grateful to you, because Nonna and Daza are my family, and despite their moral failings, I love them dearly.”

Anxious to change the subject, Valeria smiled. “I am most anxious to see your wedding dress.”

The girl signaled to the servants to unveil the gown. When they lifted the protective cover, Valeria gasped. “It is magnificent!”

“Yes, it is. Oh, this is truly the happiest day of my life!” Although her stepdaughter had accepted the news of her betrothal to Maxentius with enthusiasm, Valeria had been sure that once the wedding drew close, the young girl would become apprehensive. Apparently she was mistaken. “You are sincerely looking forward to becoming the wife of Maxentius?”

“I do not know him that well,” the young girl admitted with a shrug, “but what I know, I like very much. He is so handsome, do you not agree?”

“Why, yes, of course.”

Young Valeria giggled. “Oh, when he kissed me for the first time, I thought my heart would jump right out of my chest. I
loved him at once! I must confess, I am looking forward to my honeymoon more than I am my wedding.”

Valeria smiled. “I am so pleased that you are excited about your marriage.”

“I cannot imagine feeling more joyful,” the girl sighed, “except for the day I hold my first baby in my arms. Now, that will be blissful! Maxentius has promised me that he will give me lots of children—if the goddess Diana chooses to bless us with the gift of fertility, of course.”

Valeria winced, the mention of a pagan god piercing her heart like a dagger. In the brief time the young Valeria had been under her tutelage, she had tried to instill Christian teachings in her stepdaughter’s heart. But, alas, old habits were difficult to break, especially after a childhood of pagan practices. Although Valeria felt greatly relieved that Romula had decided to live with her granddaughter in Venice rather than in Valeria’s household, she knew it would be difficult for the girl to continue to practice her newly discovered Christian faith there. Prisca had encouraged Valeria not to worry but to pray for her stepdaughter, and that was exactly what Valeria was doing, but she found moments like this terribly discouraging.

She took a deep breath. “Have you forgotten so quickly what I taught you from the Scriptures?”

Young Valeria dropped her head for a moment before looking up. “I have not forgotten, but … just this morning in the temple, Maxentius and I made a sacrifice to the goddess Diana. Romula said—”

Valeria cut her off in mid-sentence. “Children are a gift from the Lord, not the goddess Diana.”

“Then why are you not pregnant? You said you wanted a baby, and you believe in your God with all your heart, yet you have no child of your own.”

Her words stung, and Valeria’s hand flew to her chest in a futile effort to slow her racing heart. “In God’s time, I will have a baby. Your father has been away a lot since we have been married.”

“But how do you explain—?”

“Please.” Valeria held up her hand to silence her step daughter. “This is your wedding day. Let us not speak to one another with hurtful words. After the wedding, we shall have to say goodbye, and my spirit is already heavy, for I shall miss you with all my heart.”

The girl kissed her cheek. “And I shall miss you.”

Valeria was touched by her stepdaughter’s affection, but she was still reeling from the hurtful reminder of the pagan beliefs of her husband’s family, as well as the reminder of her barrenness. For months, Valeria had struggled to hide her anxiety over her failed attempts to become pregnant before Galerius left for war. How could she bear it if young Valeria and Maxentius had a child before her and Galerius? Feelings of flight overwhelmed her, but she fought them, turning the conversation to Eugenia. “Have you heard the news that Eugenia is with child?”

“Oh, yes! Eugenia told me yesterday. Interesting that your God, who gave her a baby, also took her husband from her.”

The knife in her heart twisted. “My God was not the One who had Eugenia’s husband killed.”

“It was my father, was it not?”

Valeria could only guess where this conversation was going, and she was not about to allow it. “I continue to pray that one day we will live in a world free from religious persecution,” she said, choosing her words carefully.

“But despite your prayers, the persecutions are only getting worse, not better.”

Though their conversation was private, Valeria sensed that the surrounding servants were listening, and that the Christians among them were praying for her, giving her hope and courage.

“You were taught to believe the scripture—
faith is the evidence of things not seen
. God is working in the situation at this very moment,” Valeria declared. “When the circumstances are right, I can assure you that God will intervene.”

“What a pity your God did not intervene in time to save poor Octavius. He was such a handsome man—a good man.”

Valeria forced a smile. “But God has sent a baby to Eugenia to comfort her in her sorrow.”

“And if your God were a loving and merciful God, why not both—a husband and a baby?”

“There are many things in this life that we do not understand, but we trust that God has a plan and a purpose. The greatest promise of the Resurrection is that one day we shall all be together again in heaven, and then it will be forever— no more tears, pain, grief, or sorrow, for Jesus will wipe away every tear.”

“It sounds more comforting than the journey of death to the River Styx that Romula has taught me. If your scenario is true, it is a most beautiful thought.”

“Of course it is true,” Valeria assured her. “The holy Scriptures tell us so. And the Resurrection proves that Jesus was exactly whom He said he was.”

The girl opened her mouth to answer, but one of the servants spoke up first. “You must hurry. There is not much time before the ceremony.”

Valeria smiled, ending the conversation, and then stood by and watched as the staff dressed her stepdaughter. She was indeed a beautiful bride. As Valeria observed from a distance, she offered a number of helpful suggestions, though she could
not help but think of the girl’s real mother. Surely the woman had heard of the wedding and was even now grieving over her inability to be present as mother of the bride. And young Valeria was, no doubt, thinking of her mother as well, though she graciously did not voice her thoughts.

When the bride was at last dressed and ready, Valeria kissed her goodbye and excused herself, and then hurried off to get dressed. Before she could escape the suite, however, Daza stopped her at the door.

“Not so fast,” he said, taking her arm.

Glancing around, Valeria realized that Romula was nowhere to be seen. Terrified at being alone with the handsome creature, she protested, “Please, I must go and dress or I will be late for the wedding.”

“May I speak with you privately?”

Surprised that his voice seemed sincere and his eyes pleading, Valeria hesitated.

“I wanted to inquire about Eugenia,” he said. “I understand that she is your closest companion.”

Surprised, Valeria asked, “You know Eugenia?”

“I have met her a few times, but I also heard about her from her husband.”

“Octavius?”

“Yes. He was …” Daza hesitated. “He was my closest friend. We both served as my father’s lieutenants and fought side by side.”

Valeria touched his arm. “I am so sorry. We are all deeply grieved over the loss of Octavius.”

“How is Eugenia?”

“She is inconsolable, as one might expect.”

“Then I must go and see her and tell her how brave Octavius was in his last hour. How long should I wait before I call upon her?”

“Any news of her dead husband would be of great comfort, so please make your request known to her servants right away.”

“I shall. I begged my father to spare Octavius. There was no braver soldier in the Roman Army.”

Valeria nodded. “I agree … but I really must go.”

“Please wait. There is another matter that I must speak to you about.”

“All right, but only for a moment,” she said, trying to ignore the rapid pounding of her heart and hoping Daza would not detect her attraction for him.

He escorted her into the hallway and backed her up against the wall, as if to speak with her in private. “I wanted to beg your forgiveness for my behavior. I came on a bit strong when I first met you today, and I noticed that I made you feel uncomfortable.”

“Your behavior was despicable,” she said, trying to keep her voice firm yet matter-of-fact. “But if you are concerned that I am going to tell my husband about it, rest assured that I am not. You are forgiven.”

“I am no fool,” he answered, his voice low and husky. “I am aware that you are my benefactor’s wife. What I want to know is, do you love him?”

Valeria was stunned. How could he be so insolent as to ask such a thing? “He is my husband.”

“You have quite skillfully ignored my question. Will you at least tell me if he is in love with you?”

She felt on the verge of tears as she admitted, “I believe he is, yes.”

“But you do not know that for certain.”

Valeria opened her mouth to assure both herself and her interrogator, but no words came.

“It is common knowledge,” he whispered, “that he still pines for his former wife. Since you are now raising their son, you must be well aware of that.”

Wondering even as she spoke why she admitted such a thing to a virtual stranger, she said, “You must know that Galerius and I did not marry for love—at least not in the beginning. It was an arranged marriage, for political reasons, although Galerius has assured me that his heart now belongs to me. I am learning to love him, and I believe he is slowly forgetting his first love as well.”

Daza scoffed at her. “You are naĩve. The reason he no longer sees his former wife is that Diocletian has forbidden him to do so. And you believe it is because he no longer loves her?” He laughed. “In truth, Galerius has been threatened with death if he sees her again, so I can assure you that you do not have to feel threatened by her.”

Valeria was stunned. She had no idea her father had intervened in Galerius’ relationship with his former wife. “I am not envious of her. At times I even pity her.”

Daza raised his eyebrows. “Not only are you young and beautiful, but you are compassionate as well. My adoptive father has done well for himself.”

He traced the outline of her face with his finger, and Valeria trembled, though she did not trust herself to pull away.

Daza continued, his hand on her cheek as he leaned in close enough for her to feel his warm breath on her face. “I am sure it is not difficult for any man to love you. In truth, from the moment I saw you today, I loved you instantly, and I knew that I would surely die for you.”

“That is preposterous. You do not even know me.”

He laughed, his dark eyes lighting up and reaching into Valeria’s heart. “Ah, but you are oblivious to the powerful effect your beauty and innocence has on a man. And your
tenderness—it could melt anyone’s heart, even a man such as myself, who has his pick of women.”

His arrogance broke the spell, and she tore her eyes away from his. “You are quite impressed with yourself, I see.”

“Not really. I am just stating the facts. Surely you know that you are beautiful and have a strong effect on men. In that same way, I know that women find me attractive.”

“And though I am flattered by your effusive compliments, I am not taken in by them. Now, if you will excuse me, I must go to my room and dress for the wedding.”

“Before you leave, I would like your permission to see you.”

“What? And you think my husband would not object to that?”

“He would not have to know.”

Valeria spun away from him, ready to race down the hall toward the safety of her room. “I can assure you, he would know!”

He grabbed her arm and turned her back to look at him. “Are you not aware that Galerius has his concubines?”

“Every woman knows that her husband has concubines. Except my mother, of course. My father will be eternally faithful to her.”

“So he is. And since you possess the same qualities as your mother, I imagine that someday Galerius will be eternally faithful to you also—once you give him your whole heart. In the meantime, I know I could bring you great happiness. I can sense that you are hopelessly attracted to me. And why not? I am young and virile, and …”