The Tao of Stress: How to Calm, Balance, and Simplify Your Life (8 page)

Practice Examining Your Beliefs

Both of the preceding stories point out how absolute beliefs and judgments can complicate life, create stress, and be both physical y and psychological y harmful. The antidote is to simplify your life by changing or removing absolute beliefs and judgments that cause you stress.

This exercise will help you discover and explore your own problematic absolute beliefs and judgments, which is the first step in getting rid of them.

Simply take some time to think about situations in your life where your absolute beliefs and judgments created problems. Did these

thoughts cause the problem or make it worse? Did they make a

straightforward situation much more complex and stressful? Do you

still have these rigid and inflexible thoughts? In your journal, list these problematic absolute beliefs and judgments. Try to come up with at least five. For each one, describe the problems they caused or exac-erbated. Then ask yourself why you still hold these absolute beliefs and judgments.

Two Simple Taoist Guidelines

Guidelines are beliefs, thoughts, and concepts that focus, direct, and motivate our behavior and assist us in solving various problems in an efficient and effective manner. In Taoism, it’s crucial to understand that change is fundamental, that we need to be flexible, and that we need to eliminate problematic absolute thoughts, judgments, and beliefs. It is important to note that Taoist teachings about thinking are always

directly related to feelings and behaviors. They are intimately intercon-nected. Not only do we need to eliminate problematic thoughts, judgments, and beliefs, we also need to replace them with stress- reducing thoughts, judgments, and beliefs, which will have positive effects on our behavior.

Two basic Taoist guidelines regarding the relationship between

thinking and behavior relative to reducing stress are believing in and respecting oneself, and practicing moderation. Following these guidelines will help you simplify not only your thinking, but also your life. As
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a result, they can help ease chronic stress. The following two stories demonstrate how these Taoist guidelines are manifested in behaviors that prevent or reduce chronic stress.

Believing in and Respecting Oneself

The workload at Veronica’s office was quite intense and sometimes

overwhelming. In recent months, two of her coworkers had been terminated, but Veronica kept her job because she did good work in an efficient and effective manner, didn’t doubt herself, didn’t waste time whining, took responsibility for her behavior, was flexible, and loved a challenge.

Veronica believed in herself and operated with an attitude of “I can!”

In contrast, the two people who were let go didn’t work efficiently and effectively, constantly doubted themselves, whined a lot, tended to avoid responsibility, and were rigid. Basically, they operated with an attitude of

“I can’t!”

Although Veronica made very few mistakes, she certainly wasn’t

perfect. But on the rare occasions when she made mistakes, she didn’t lose respect for herself or doubt or chastise herself. She learned from her mistakes, corrected them, and then moved forward. As a result, she didn’t stress herself out.

Veronica also exhibited flexibility by knowing her limits and adapting to challenges in her environment. When she faced a task that was a bit beyond her current skill level, she didn’t take an attitude of “I can’t!”

Rather, her attitude was “I need assistance so I can learn how to do this.”

When she faced a task that was significantly beyond her current skill level, she simply passed it on to someone capable of doing it. In those cases, she didn’t think of herself as a failure, lose respect for herself, or doubt herself. Rather, she continued to respect and believe in herself. In this way, too, she didn’t stress herself out.

Practicing Moderation

Arthur was at least thirty pounds overweight. He didn’t exercise. His eating behaviors were excessive, and his exercise behaviors

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were deficient. Maria, on the other hand, was at least twenty pounds underweight and seemed to exercise all the time. Her eating behaviors were deficient, and her exercise behaviors were excessive.

Although outwardly they appear very different, both Arthur and

Maria experienced significant physical and mental stress as a result of their excessive and deficient behaviors, which were linked to problematic thoughts, judgments, and beliefs. Both experienced unpleasant symptoms that caused them to see their doctors. In both cases, their doctors recommended a simple guideline to address their problem: moderation—

not being excessive or deficient in their eating and exercise behavior.

Both were provided with information and resources offering guidance on eating, exercise, and stress management.

Because both of them were tired of their chronic stress, they accepted the advice to practice moderation and chose to believe in themselves. As a result, both had an “I can!” attitude and were able to change their stress- producing behavior. Arthur began eating less, while Maria began eating more. Arthur started exercising, while Maria dialed back her exercise regimen. Changing their thoughts and beliefs resulted in a change of behaviors and lifestyle.

Taoists believe in practicing moderation in all aspects of life. In fact, in Taoism finding the balance point between excessiveness and deficiency constitutes harmony (Guanzi 2012).

Interlude

As first noted in the previous chapter, each chapter has a mental, or rationally focused, component and a physical, experiential component, consisting of qigong practice. The mentally based component of this chapter focused on how chronic threat- based thinking (problematic thoughts, beliefs, and judgments) agitates the mind and creates and maintains chronic stress. It also examined how simplifying life by rationally changing or eliminating problematic thoughts, beliefs, and judgments can be helpful in calming the mind and thus removing chronic stress.

The physical qigong component, which comprises the remainder of

this chapter, has the same goal: removing chronic stress by changing or eliminating chronic threat- based thinking. However, it does so via a
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completely different pathway: relaxing the body. By simply and solely focusing on the physical practices, the body will naturally relax because you aren’t thinking. Because you aren’t thinking, you aren’t subject to threat- based thinking. This being the case, the mind isn’t agitated and begins to relax. Through consistent and regular practice, chronic threat-based thinking naturally fades away, allowing chronic stress to

dissipate.

Qigong

As noted in chapter 2, all of the postures in both the Baduanjin (the sitting form) and the Yijinjing (the standing form) are part of a sequence and an ongoing practice. Each new movement flows from the previous movement. To build each qigong sequence, first learn the new posture.

Then go through the sequence, beginning with the first posture and linking all of the postures you’ve learned thus far in a continuous series.

Because you will have been practicing the preceding movements in each form, the transition into the new posture should be straightforward.

Throughout, work on developing and improving the five basics— posture, attention, concentration, breathing, and guan— with all of the postures of both the Baduanjin and the Yijinjing. Also remember to smile!

Upon finishing each two- posture sequence, reflect on what you

experienced while performing it. What are your body and mind telling you about yourself? Are you starting to feel rooted and centered? Take some time to write in your journal, describing what occurred while you performed these movements.

Practice Posture 2 of the Baduanjin

Sequence: Gently Clicking

Your Teeth and Embracing

Kunlun Mountain

Having completed the first movement, Sitting in Stil ness, remain

seated with your back straight, head pulled up, legs crossed, and

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hands on your upper thighs or lap. In other words, stay in the Sitting in Stillness form.

The second posture has two parts. The first part is to keep your

lips gently closed and softly click your teeth together thirty- six times by striking your upper teeth with your lower teeth. After the thirty-sixth click, rotate your tongue in a counterclockwise direction across your outer gums three times. Then repeat in the opposite direction, running your tongue over your outer gums in a clockwise direction

three times. At this point, you should feel saliva in your mouth. Swish it all around your mouth. Then swal ow it in three noisy gulps. Visualize it entering your lower dantian.

For the second part of this posture, bring your hands up in front

of your chest, about twelve inches from your chest, with your palms touching each other, fingers facing up and elbows pointing down.

Rub your palms and fingers together until you feel some heat. Next, clasp your fingers together and put them on the back of your head just above your ears with your elbows gently pulled back. Keeping your

back and neck straight, inhale deeply through your nose while gently bending your head slightly forward, bringing your elbows inward, and softly pushing on the back of your head with your hands. Exhale

through your mouth and gently pull your head and elbows back to

their original position. You should feel the pressure of your hands pushing your head forward while your neck muscles pull your head

back to its original position. This completes one repetition. Repeat this eight more times, for a total of nine repetitions. After completing the ninth repetition, let your hands return to their original position so that you are once again in the Sitting in Stil ness position.

When you get stressed- out, the muscles in your neck become

tense. The second part of this posture (Embracing Kunlun Mountain, which is the head movement) helps relieve tension in the neck while simultaneously strengthening its muscles. The clicking of your teeth should clear your mind. The swal owing of saliva is believed to aid digestion. Visualizing the saliva entering the lower dantian helps you develop your center and still your mind.

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Practice Posture 2 of the Yijinjing

Sequence: Holding a Ball in

Front of Your Chest

Upon finishing the Wuji Standing movement, step to the left so your feet are shoulder- width apart and simply raise both of your arms, palms facing each other, in a forward and upward arc until your

palms are chest high. Then bring your fingertips toward each other until they are almost touching. Your hands should be in line with the center of your chest. It will look as though your arms are encircling a large bal . Keep your shoulders relaxed and down and angle your

elbows downward and to the sides. Breathe natural y. Stay in this

position for one to two minutes. Smile and practice guan.

By changing your hand position from the Wuji position to the

position Holding a Ball in Front of Your Chest, you al ow your body to communicate with you from a different configuration. This helps you become more aware of your body and develops your ability to listen to your body. What is it telling you?

Conclusion

This chapter focused on simplifying your thinking— one aspect of simplifying your life, which is one of the three components of the Taoist path. To help you simplify your thinking, it focused on removing clutter from your mind, embracing the reality of continual change, examining your beliefs, and exploring some basic Taoist guidelines for interacting with the world. In Taoism, which is quite practical in its approach to being in harmony with life, thinking must always be linked with behavior. The next chapter explores this link.

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Chapter 4

Simplifying Your

Behavior

In the Taoist view, to eliminate chronic stress we need to remove our problematic behaviors, as our thinking and behavior are intimately linked and reinforce each other. In most cases, our behavior expresses our thoughts. Problematic thoughts give rise to problematic behaviors, which then help create and maintain chronic stress. Removing these behaviors helps ease stress and also has the benefit of decreasing our behavioral options. This simplifies our behavioral choices, and therefore simplifies life.

Eating, Drinking, Sleeping, and

Exercising Behavior

The Taoist path is focused on making life as stress- free as possible by behaving in a simple and straightforward manner. Four basic areas that are often compromised by problematic behavior that results in chronic stress are eating, drinking, sleeping, and exercise. There are numerous Taoist texts that address these areas (Kohn 2012). Because these aspects of life are so important to overall well- being, I also discussed them in chapter 5, in the context of noninterference, and in chapter 6, in the context of desires.

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Taoism has long been aware that how we eat and drink, what we eat

and drink, and how much or how little we eat and drink can have a significant impact on our overall health. Within Taoism, certain foods and beverages are considered to be medicinal and beneficial for our overall well- being (Kohn 2010; Saso 1994). The
Neiye
(Guanzi 2012) is quite clear that excessive or deficient eating and drinking compromise the flow of qi and are detrimental to your well- being. The
Yangxing
Yanming
Lu
(
Nourishing
Your
Nature
and
Extending
Your
Life
), a seventh- century text on health and longevity, attributes much of illness and unnatural death to what we eat and drink (Tao Hongming 2013). In other words your diet can lead to chronic stress and thus harm you.