The Tao of Stress: How to Calm, Balance, and Simplify Your Life (9 page)

Likewise, Taoism recognizes that we all need consistent, restful sleep and advocates going to bed early and rising early in the morning (
Neijing
2007). Inadequate or poor- quality sleep compromises physical and psychological health, energy levels, and performance in general. From the perspective of Taoism, problems getting to sleep or staying asleep, not getting enough sleep, or sleeping too much are seen as usually being due to problematic behavior prior to going to bed. This problematic behavior causes stress, which in turn compromises sleep, which leads to further stress due to lack of adequate restful sleep. This creates a vicious cycle that leads to chronic stress.

Finally, Taoism also has a long history of using exercise as a way curing and preventing illness and disease. The
Neijing
(2007) indicates the importance of stretching, walking, and then cooling down. The

Taiqing
Daoyin
Yangsheng
Jing
(
The
Great
Clarity
Scripture
of
Guiding
and
Stretching
to
Nourish
Life
) is a foundational text in this area (Baike 2007).

This seventh- century Taoist text presents specific, organized exercise sequences that focus on guiding qi, stretching and relaxing the body and mind, and thereby establishing health and well- being (Kohn 2008a).

Daoyin
and
yangsheng
, both first mentioned in the
Zhuangzi
, are ancient names for practices concerned with health, well- being, and longevity.

The term we use today for these practices is “qigong.”

The
Yangxing
Yanming
Lu
clearly presents the Taoist holistic approach to healing, health, and well- being. It integrates guidelines on numerous behaviors— diet, sleep, exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, and sex— not only as a way of taking care of one’s body and mind, extending one’s life, and eliminating what we now call chronic stress, but also as a precursor to spiritual development and discovery.

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Emilio’s Story

Emilio, a sophomore in college, had problems with his digestion.

He always seemed to have heartburn, stomachaches, gas, and

problems with constipation or diarrhea. He couldn’t understand

why. One day at lunch in the college cafeteria, he didn’t see any of his friends, so he sat at a table where an unfamiliar student was

eating his lunch. Emilio said a cursory hello to his tablemate, and then he pulled out his phone, made a call, and talked to a friend

while he ate lunch.

The student, Kapena, was having a stir- fry, which he ate slowly

with chopsticks. After finishing his meal, he leisurely drank a big glass of water. Meanwhile, Emilio gobbled down a large burger,

French fries, and a piece of chocolate cake, gulping down a

twenty- four- ounce soda and talking on his phone all the while.

After finishing his phone call and taking his last bite of cake,

which he chased down with his last gulp of soda, Emilio grasped

his belly and started to complain that his stomach hurt. Looking

across at Kapena, he said, “I just don’t understand. Why does this happen every time I eat? I always seem to get a stomachache,

indigestion, and gas. I don’t get it!”

Kapena responded by saying, “I might be able to offer some

advice if you like, but I’d want to ask you some questions first.

Would that be all right?”

Emilio, who was grimacing with pain, said, “No problem. Sure.

Anything to stop this!”

Kapena asked, “Do you always eat and drink like you did just

now— eating quickly, not really chewing very much, and gulping

down soda?”

Emilio replied, “I never really thought about it, but yes, I guess I do.”

Then Kapena asked, “Do you often talk on the phone while

eating?”

Emilio nodded and said, “Yes. Or if I’m not on the phone, I

usually do something else, like watching TV or reading. I always

do something while I eat. It saves time!”

Kapena said, “Okay. I think I have some advice for you if

you’re still interested.” Emilio said he was, so Kapena continued.

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“Your eating behaviors aren’t beneficial for digesting your food.

They all stress your body, which results in digestion problems.”

Emilio responded, “Yep. You nailed it. How do you know so

much about this?”

Kapena replied, “My family has a long history of trying to live

in harmony with the ocean, the mountains, and the land, which

we can talk about later if you wish. Anyhow, one of our guidelines is that we practice moderation in all of our behaviors. Looking at it that way, your eating behaviors are too excessive. As a result, your body isn’t in harmony, or, to use more familiar language, it’s overly stressed. This is probably why you have all these symptoms.”

Emilio thought about this for a minute, and then said, “Okay.

And your advice?”

Kapena said, “You need to slow down and take your time

when eating. Chew your food slowly and thoroughly before

swallowing it. It’s best not to drink while eating. Drink after you finish eating. Also, don’t do anything else while you eat and drink.

Just eat and drink. Finally, you should probably consider changing how much you eat and drink, and maybe what you eat and drink. I

suspect that you don’t drink enough water. Most of all, just

remember to be moderate in regard to eating and drinking.”

Sophia’s Story

After getting home from work at around 6 p.m., Sophia typically

turned on all the lights in her house, made a pot of coffee, and

watched soap operas for two hours, usually drinking two to three

cups of coffee as she watched. She often didn’t start preparing

dinner until 8 p.m. at the earliest, so she often ate around 9 p.m.

As she ate, she usually watched a crime drama and drank more

coffee. At 10 p.m., she watched another crime show while eating a

big bowl of ice cream. Once that show was over at 11 p.m., she

watched the news for an hour. Around midnight, she turned off all

the lights and headed to bed.

After tossing and turning for about an hour, Sophia usually

fell asleep. But she often woke up in the middle of the night feeling
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hungry, and when that happened, she usually got up and had a

snack. After getting back to sleep, she usually slept until her alarm went off. However, she frequently woke up with a headache and

felt tired, drained, and a little edgy. This had been going on for a month or so and had resulted in her being late for work on

numerous occasions. When she finally got to work on this

particular morning, late once again, her boss said, “The next time you come to work late, you’ll be fired.

The basic Taoist guideline of moderation is clearly relevant in

this situation. Sophia’s caffeine consumption is clearly excessive, especially for the evening hours. She could also afford to eat

dinner earlier, dim or turn off the lights in the evening, watch

more relaxing shows, and avoid television altogether for a while

before bed.

William’s Story

William was chronically stressed. He tended to overeat and seldom

exercised, and he often felt anxious and had trouble sleeping.

Lately, his mind seemed to be racing all over the place and he

couldn’t focus. His body was going downhill, and his job

performance was suffering. He recognized that he had a problem

and wanted to get his life back on track, but he didn’t know how.

He noticed that one of his coworkers, a woman named Hua Li,

always seemed to be energetic, focused, and happy. She also

appeared to be quite athletic. Over lunch one day, he explained his problems and said he felt like he was chronically stressed. He said that he’d noticed how upbeat, calm, and healthy she seemed and

asked her what her secret was.

Hua Li smiled and said, “The first step is recognizing that you

have a problem and wanting to fix it, and you’ve done that. Every

journey begins with the first step, and by reaching out to me,

you’re already on your way.” That sounded so reassuring that

William smiled, heaved a big sigh, and relaxed a bit then and

there. Hua Li then said, “The next step is fixing. You do this by

changing behaviors that aren’t beneficial for your health and

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The Tao of Stress

well- being.” She explained that she was a Taoist and followed its holistic approach to health and well- being, and said that she taught a class in qigong and taijiquan, which can help create a more

balance in life, and invited him to attend. She also recommended

a few websites offering information on the Taoist approach.

When William visited the websites, he was intrigued by their

emphasis on cultivating the body through stretching, exercise, and meditation and the idea that calming the body could calm the

mind. He decided to attend Hua Li’s class and was delighted to

discover that, in addition to teaching qigong and taijiquan, she

also discussed the Taoist holistic approach to managing chronic

stress. He had known that he needed to make changes in many

areas, and here was one cohesive philosophy that addressed sleep,

diet, exercise, stretching, meditation, and even interpersonal

relationships and being in harmony with the world. He was

hooked.

William started his journey by implementing a new routine

that involved stretching, exercise, and meditation. Consistent with Taoist teachings he kept it very simple. Every morning he woke up

at 6 a.m. and took a few sips of water. Then he practiced sitting

Baduanjin, which begins and ends with meditation and

incorporates a series of stretching postures in between. Then he

drank some more water and went out for a brisk two- mile walk,

followed by a brief cooldown and drinking some more water. After

that he ate breakfast and went to work. Three nights a week he

attended Hua Li’s class.

William noticed that simply changing his morning routine led

to many other changes. He started eating more moderately and

choosing more healthful foods. And because he now awoke at 6

a.m. daily, he went to bed earlier. He also slept more soundly and felt more rested upon waking. In addition, he noticed that he had

more energy, was more focused, and no longer felt anxious. Best of all, he simply felt more alive.

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Mildred’s Story

One day at work, Sam and his coworker Penny, both parents of

teenagers, got into a discussion about how to discipline kids when they talk back. Overhearing their discussion, Mildred, a middle-aged woman who didn’t have children, walked over and told them

they were both wrong. She went on to tell them the “correct” way

to discipline children in this situation. Both Sam and Penny

disagreed with her and told her so. Irritated, Mildred pushed the

issue by telling them they weren’t listening to her.

Penny asked Mildred, “Since you don’t have children, how

could you possibly know the correct way to stop them from talking

back?”

This further irritated Mildred, who responded by saying, “You

don’t have to have children to know how to raise them properly.”

Sam was visibly angry and asked her to leave. This infuriated

Mildred, and she continued to insist that they were wrong and she

was right. Penny, who was extremely exasperated by this point,

walked over to Mildred and told her to leave. Mildred, who was

starting to shake, clinched her teeth, turned around, and stomped

back to her desk.

For the rest of the workday and on her way home, Mildred

ruminated about her encounter with Sam and Penny. By the time

she got home that night, she was a physical and emotional wreck.

She was breathing rather fast and had a headache and an upset

stomach. Her neck, shoulders, and back hurt, and she felt tense all over, anxious, and drained. She was clearly quite stressed.

Around 9 p.m., Mildred’s phone rang. It was her big sister

Penelope. She heard the tension in Mildred’s voice and asked her

what was wrong. Mildred, who had always confided in and looked

up to Penelope, explained what happened.

Penelope recommended that Mildred take some deep breaths

and let out a big sigh each time she exhaled. After a few breaths, Mildred was feeling a little better and more relaxed. Sensing this, Penelope asked Mildred if she would like some advice. Mildred

said she would, as this wasn’t the first time this type of thing had happened when she was trying to help people.

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Penelope said, “The fact that you recognize that there’s a

problem and want to make some changes so you won’t feel so awful

in the future is a fantastic insight.” Hearing this made Mildred feel good.

Penelope then said, “It’s a good quality that you want to help

people solve their problems. However, it’s always best to first ask them if they’d like to hear your opinion. If not, don’t offer

anything. And when you begin by using potentially threatening

language, it can quickly create a problem. For example, even

though I’m sure you didn’t mean to be hurtful, when you began by

telling your coworkers that they were wrong, they probably felt hurt and threatened. This probably made them tense— not a good