The Tao of Stress: How to Calm, Balance, and Simplify Your Life (3 page)

On the way home, you can only think about the presentation and all of the things that that could possibly go wrong. You get home and try to
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eat some dinner, but your stomach still feels queasy and your mouth is dry, so you don’t eat much. You then spend the rest of the evening plan-ning your presentation. You have a hard time staying focused because your worry keeps getting in the way. You go to bed and have a difficult time getting to sleep. Once you finally fall asleep, you keep waking up.

You don’t feel rested when you wake up the next morning. You try to eat something, but you don’t feel hungry. As you drive to work, all you can think about is your presentation and what could go wrong with it.

You arrive at work and head to the meeting room.

Your heart rate is speeding. Your breathing is rapid and shallow. Your stomach is still queasy, and your mouth is really dry. You’re sweating considerably even though the room is quite cool. Your muscles are tense and achy. You can’t stop worrying about the presentation being a

disaster.

Your boss introduces you. You walk up to the podium and look out

at the audience. There are a lot of people. You look down at your notes.

You to speak, but nothing comes out. You simply freeze.

In this case, your fight- or- flight response has been continuously activated for hours on end. It was inappropriately activated because no genuine threat existed, and worse, it provided no assistance in addressing the perceived threat: your fear of looking like a fool in front of your fellow workers. In fact, activation of the fight- or- flight response was detrimental because it made the situation worse, and because its chronic activation negatively impacted your sleep, eating, thinking, and overall physical and psychological well- being. It was never deactivated because you kept thinking about the perceived threat and worrying, and as a result, the problem wasn’t resolved.

Unfortunately, we are wired to look for threats, and the brain doesn’t make distinctions between physical threats, psychosocial threats, potential threats, anticipated threats, self- generated threats, and imagined threats. All can turn on and maintain the fight- or- flight response.

Anything that we perceive as threatening, no matter how minor, has the potential to activate and maintain the fight- or- flight response, whether that threat involves how we think we should behave, how we think

others should behave, or how we think the world should work. No matter what their form, perceived threats are seen as potentially endangering our existence at some level, be it physical, psychological, or social.

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Physical and Psychological Effects

of Normal Stress

How we physically and psychologically respond to perceived threats, real or imagined, depends on the stressor’s context. Our responses are also associated with our genetic makeup, our family history, our life experiences, how we construct our world, and our coping mechanisms.

Once the fight- or- flight response is turned on, a number of physical and psychological changes immediately occur. Physically, heart rate increases, blood pressure goes up, breathing becomes rapid and shallow, muscles tense, blood forms clots more quickly, fats are broken down and released into the bloodstream, blood flow is rerouted from the body’s surface and extremities to muscles, sweating increases, insulin production decreases, digestion is inhibited, parts of the immune system shut down (Segerstrom and Miller 2004), and the hormones adrenaline, nor-epinephrine, and cortisol are released into the bloodstream.

All of these changes occur for several purposes: increasing energy; transporting energy to areas in the body that need it so we can fight, flee, or freeze; not wasting energy on parts of the body that aren’t necessary for fighting, fleeing or freezing; and protecting the body from the perceived threat. Once the threat is resolved, the fight- or- flight response ceases and the bodily systems that changed return to normal

functioning.

The primary psychological changes that happen as a result of the

perception of a potential threat are all related to keeping us aware of and responding to the threat. Regarding survival, we cannot afford to be distracted. In most cases, we initially feel tense and on edge. These feelings alert us to potential dangers. Our attention continually scans the environment looking for potential threats. This hyperarousal keeps us apprehensive, concerned, and worrying about potential threats in the

environment. Our concentration focuses on anything our attention isolates out as a potential threat and then keeps us directed toward it.

Threat- based thinking has certain qualities: it is self- centered, biased, absolute, black- and- white, judgmental, inflexible, not distractible, and mechanical. For our distant ancestors, any deviation or distraction from the single focus of the threat might have resulted in death. Our hypervigilance, hyperarousal, and threat- based thinking work together
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to alert us to potential threats, keep us focused upon them, and motivate us to face them. Once a perceived threat is resolved, attention, concentration, arousal, emotions, and ways of thinking return to normal.

Physical and Psychological Effects

of Chronic Stress

When the fight- or- flight response is chronically or frequently activated, the physical and psychological changes that occur are detrimental to our health. The human body can’t withstand the intense changes of the

stress response on a continuous or long- term basis. Just imagine what could occur if the intense changes of a normal stress response weren’t allowed to return to normal. Physically, the heart would be overworked, hypertension would result from continual high blood pressure, breathing would be compromised, energy production would hindered, problems

with digestion could occur, ongoing high blood sugar levels could lead to diabetes, and rapid clotting of blood could lead to a stroke or heart attack.

Continual muscular tension could lead to headaches, vision prob-

lems, breathing problems, mobility issues, problems with posture, and generally feeling tired, sore, and stiff. The immune system is suppressed, which makes us more susceptible to bacterial and viral infections and compromises our overall resistance and healing capabilities (Segerstrom and Miller 2004).

Continually elevated levels of stress hormones are also detrimental to our health and well- being. In addition, they perpetuate the cycle by keeping the fight- or- flight response activated and on high alert. Chronic high levels of cortisol suppress the immune system and compromise the function of insulin, resulting in elevated blood sugar levels, increases in appetite, and cravings for high- fat foods. High cortisol levels also lead to fat being stored in the abdominal area (Bouchez 2011), decreased bone density, and atrophy of muscles (Scott 2011; McEwen 2002).

In terms of the psychological impacts of chronic stress, the mind is continually agitated and the ability to concentrate and think is compromised. Negative thinking dominates our worldview. Whining, complaining, moaning, criticizing, demeaning, sarcasm, mockery, derision,

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scorning, disdain, ridicule, contempt, and so on are all forms of negative thinking, and negative thinking is always threat based. This perpetuates the cycle, as threat- based thinking activates and maintains the fight- or flight response, preventing us from being able to see potential solutions to the problem.

In addition to all of the obvious forms of negative (threat- based) thinking listed above, any type of ongoing absolute, restrictive, inflexible, judgmental, black- and- white, or either- or thinking (live or die, good or evil, and so on) can also inappropriately activate the fight- or- flight response. This happens because any thoughts or opinions contrary to this absolute, black- and- white perspective may be perceived as a threat to how we structure and relate to the world.

Finally, ongoing anxiety is clearly a problem, as it involves inappropriately labeling neutral or nonthreatening stimuli as potentially threatening. With ongoing anxiety, we are constantly apprehensive, worrying, and obsessive. Attention and concentration are fragmented, and the mind bounces around looking for potential threats.

Psychosocial Threats

The list of potential perceived threats is endless. You can simply be sitting in a chair at home and start worrying about the economy, global warming, your job, money, family issues, friends, politics, arguments you had or may have, unrealistic deadlines and goals, whether or not your daughter’s wedding in six months will go off without any problems, and on and on.

Whatever its focus, this worrying will set off your fight- or- flight response and cause you to be stressed. If worrying becomes excessive and ongoing, the fight- or- flight response is continually activated and you become chronically stressed.

Another source of potential stress is the complexity of life. The more things you think you need to address, however small and essentially irrel-evant they may be, the more likely you are to perceive potential threats, activating your fight- or- flight response. Many people try to deal with long to- do lists by multitasking. However, attempting to do a number of things at the same time can compromise the ability to attend, focus, and concentrate (Rosen 2008). This can drain a person’s energy and result in stress.

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Things that we desire and don’t have, whether tangible or intangible, are also potential threats, as we associate them with our self- worth. We wonder what our family, friends, and society will think of us if we don’t have these things. As long as we allow our self- worth to be determined by others and continue to wish for these things, we may feel threatened and remain chronically stressed.

The same is true of things we desired and now have, whether tangi-

ble or intangible, in this case because of the anxiety and fear about possibly losing them. The threat of potential loss activates the stress response, and as long as we harbor the fear of losing these things, our fight- or- flight response will remain activated.

Practice Examining Your Stress

I’d like you to try something that may make what the preceding discussion of stress much more directly relevant to you and your con-

cerns. This exercise is about your experience with stress. It consists of two parts: examining an appropriate activation of the fight- or- flight response in your own life, and examining an inappropriate activation of the fight- or- flight response in your own life. You can use your journal to answer the questions in this exercise; that way you’ll have plenty of space to write your responses.

First, think of a situation in your life when the fight- or- flight response was activated appropriately— in a way that helped you

address the perceived threat.

1. Write down what happened. What was the problem or threat

that activated your fight- or- flight response?

2. Think about what you noticed happening in your mind and

body as you faced the problem or threat. Do you remember if

your heart was pounding or you were breathing faster, sweat-

ing, or feeling anxious or tense? Do you remember what you

were thinking about? Did you stay focused on the problem or

threat? Were you able to make a connection in that moment

between the changes that you noticed and the problem or

threat?

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3. Write down everything you remember about how these physi-

cal and psychological changes helped you face the threat or

solve the problem.

4. Do you remember what happened after the problem or threat

was resolved? Did you feel more relaxed? Did the changes

you experienced as you faced the problem or threat go away

after it was resolved? Did you notice the difference between

how you felt, physical y and psychological y, when you were

facing the problem or threat and how you felt after it was

resolved?

Now think about an instance when your fight- or- flight response

was activated inappropriately— in a way that didn’t help you address the perceived problem or threat.

1. Write down what happened and what you noticed in your

body and mind. What was the problem or threat that acti-

vated your fight- or- flight response?

2. Note whether these changes and the inappropriate activa-

tion of your fight- or- flight response helped you address the

problem or threat or whether they interfered with resolving it.

3. Did you notice your voice becoming louder or higher, inflam-

ing an interpersonal conflict? Did your thoughts race and

make it difficult to concentrate? Were you so distracted that

you forgot something important?

4. Did inappropriate activation of the fight- or- flight response make your situation worse in any way? For example, did worrying about the problem or threat make it difficult for you to

get to sleep or stay asleep?

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How Taoism Can Help

with Stress

At this point, you may be thinking that chronic stress is a modern problem and wondering how the ancient philosophy of Taoism could be helpful in addressing this problem. However, chronic stress and its impacts on physical and psychological health were recognized and seen as problematic by ancient Taoist practitioners and authors at least 2,500

years ago, and Taoism has provided an avenue for addressing these problems for just as long.

Chronic Stress from a Taoist Perspective

In Taoism, chronic stress is seen as being out of harmony with the inevitable and continual process of change and transformation. When we are out of harmony, we have lost our center and root, and this has several implications: