The Mourning Woods - 03 (32 page)

“No offense, Ed, “I replied. “But I can see how shitting on their ancestors’ corpses might be a sore spot.”

“But it’s not,” James said.

“OK, now you’ve lost me.”

“This place is sacred to the Alma, that much you know,” James explained. “The tree, was it a Maple variant if I may ask?”

“Yes,” Ed responded.

“It holds significance to them, but in more of a spiritual manner. It’s a symbol of growth and rebirth.”

“So it’s sacred to them, like they said.”

“No,” he continued. “Sacred yes, but not in the way that say Hindus venerate cattle or Christians the cross. Besides, it’s not like you burned down the forest. All you did was...”

“Shit on their ancestors,” I repeated.

“Fertilize the ground,” James corrected. “It’s common practice amongst the Alma, considered a minor blessing even.”

“You’ve got to be wrong,” I replied. “People...err apes don’t usually off themselves due to
minor blessings
.”

“I will admit that part has me puzzled. It’s almost like they purposely wanted to find offense and had planned to use your ignorance against you.”

“Except it wouldn’t have worked if you had warned us,” Sally said, a glimmer of insight sparkling in her eyes. Not being a complete idiot myself, I put two and two together.

“Except Francois stopped you.”

“And put a very specific compulsion on Sally,” Ed said.

“And conveniently had his own negotiators handy when the Draculas’ group didn’t arrive,” Sally added.

“And has been a major dick about everything,” Tom replied, adding his own unhelpful two cents.

“I will admit that is very strange,” James said. “Except for that last part. I’ve known Francois for a long time and he has always been, as you so eloquently put it, a dick.”

“Jesus Christ!” Sally exclaimed. “He’s selling us out. Francois is working with the...”

“I will stop you there, my dear Sally,” James interrupted. “One does not lightly throw accusations at an elder vampire with only circumstantial, if highly probable, evidence. That is especially true in places such as this where there are ears everywhere.”

“So what do we do?” I asked.

“It’s quite possible you’ve already done enough. Judging by how quickly he stormed out of here, I’d say you made a bloody mess of his plans.”

“One of Bill’s specialties,” Sally quipped, not unkindly.

James nodded. “As I am learning. Whatever Francois had planned has no doubt been put in jeopardy. It’s possible that he will have no choice but to let the peace negotiations continue in the manner that they were meant to.”

“That’s good,” I replied, feeling a bit of relief wash over me.

“Of course,” James continued. “He may also become desperate and attempt to modify his plans.”

“Let me guess. That would probably involve getting rid of me, right?”

“Doubtful.”

“Oh, well that’s a...”

“He would no doubt wish to remove you from the equation out of spite alone.”

Great, just what I wanted to hear.

* * *

The five of us had been walking back down the trail toward the huts. Compared to the earlier ruckus, it was now eerily quiet. If I didn’t know better, I’d have said we were the only ones in the woods for miles around. As we walked, I had a chance to reflect upon the events of the past few hours, or at least the parts I remembered. I looked down at my ragged clothes. Damn, I kind of liked this shirt too.

Sally took this as cue to ask, “So what exactly happened back there? I kind of spaced out when that compulsion triggered.”

“No idea,” I admitted. “What did you guys see?”

Ed shrugged, “Well we were kind of busy dragging Sally out of harm’s way.”

“Yeah, she’s heav...”

Sally interrupted Tom with, “If you finish that sentence, you die.”

“Uh yeah,” Tom stammered before quickly changing the subject. “After that it was hard to say. You were moving too fast.”

“Yep,” Ed agreed. “You only started to slow down again after you had kicked Turd’s ass and started to change back. The best I can say is...you got bigger.”

“Hulk smash?” I asked with a grin.

“Something like that.”

“What about you, James?”

“Yes?” he asked, coming out of whatever reverie he had been in.

“What did you see?”

Again, James looked troubled. “That’s what’s been bothering me actually. I too had a hard time following your moves.”

“You did?”

“I am somewhat embarrassed to admit it, but yes.”

Even Sally was impressed by that. “Wow.”

“Indeed. That tells me one of two things. Either our friend, Dr. Death here, is far more formidable than any of us imagined...”

“Or?”

“Or our mysterious donor is a vampire whose power far eclipses my own.”

“Francois?” I queried.

That elicited chuckles from both James and Sally. “Sorry, Bill,” she said. “But I doubt he’d piss on you if you were on fire much less open a vein so you could take a drink.”

“Then who?” Ed asked.

That was a damn good question. I just wish I had an answer.

Once we were within sight of our hut, James left us to confer with his people. That was fine by me. I needed to change and think things through. Sally claimed to have a headache from all the mucking around in her head and wanted to lie down for a while, not too surprising. Tom and Ed, well they both said they were going to stay close to the hut. I couldn’t blame them.

After I had dressed (and found my spare set of glasses...It was nice to be able to see again) I joined them at the table. Despite all of us wanting to brainstorm on the shit pile we had somehow stepped into, we were careful to avoid it. The walls of the hut were thin. Leaves, mud, and assorted crap weren’t going to do much to mask our words if any of Francois’s men were close by, and it was a fair bet they were.

Thus, to pass the time, we pulled out a deck of cards and decided to play a few rounds of poker. That was a mistake. By the end of the game, I was fifty bucks in the hole. What a fucking trip.

Disgusted, I decided to join Sally...well OK, not physically join her. That would have earned me a quick downgrade to eunuch. Instead, I decided to lie down and grab some sleep. Considering what I had planned, going to bed a little early wouldn’t exactly be a bad idea.

* * *

Sleep is overrated. Horrific nightmares plagued me from the moment I lay down. No, nothing to do with Turd, Bigfoot, or some other fairytale monster. I’m talking real horror here. My dream self had finally worked up the nerve to ask Sheila out, and I mean really ask her out this time, none of that
is it a date or isn’t it
bullshit that I’ve been fucking around with. Nope, this time I asked her flat out, “Would you like to go out on a date with me?” Well OK, my dream self might have thrown a
please
in there somewhere. I never said my subconscious was cool. Her answer of, “No, Bill, I think of you as a brother,” was horrible enough, but her follow up of, “Besides, I already have a double date planned with Tom and Ed,” caused me to wake up in a cold sweat. Fuck me!

I had a brief moment of waking confusion - in which I seriously contemplated killing them both just to make sure that didn’t come to pass - but then my head cleared. I looked around. Both of my roommates were sound asleep. I turned toward the door and saw it was still fairly dark out. I couldn’t have been asleep for long. However, then I looked at my watch and saw it was eight AM. Oh, yeah, I’m practically up in the fucking Yukon. Stupid Canada and its screwed up days.

I quietly got out of bed and walked over to the cooler for a drink. I lifted a pint and then stopped. Goddamn, why didn’t I think of this before? I grabbed a few random packs and sampled from each. No vampire blood. Hadn’t James said something about my bottle already being full when he came to get it? That meant someone had snuck in here at some point and planted it.

I was mulling possibilities when I heard Sally’s voice say, “Hey, toss me one of those.”

She stepped out from behind her curtain and joined me at the table.

“Couldn’t sleep?” I asked.

“You snore like a chainsaw,” she replied, taking a sip.

“I thought you only drank from the tap.”

“All things considered, I think it might be smart to eat in for the remainder of our time here. So why are you up?”

Rather than tell Sally about my dreams - which would no doubt earn me nothing but grief in return - I decided instead to fill her in on the course of action I had been considering.

“I’m thinking of checking out the Sasquatches.”

“Playing Sherlock Holmes now?”

“Something like that,” I replied. “Besides, it’ll be daylight soon. They won’t be expecting me to be up and about.”

“Us,” she said.

“Excuse me.”

“They won’t be expecting
us
to be up and about.”

“What about you not wanting to know things in case Francois makes you squeal...which just for the record might be kinda hot to listen to.”

Sally’s boot connected with my shin under the table. *ouch!*

“I don’t think that’s going to happen. Whatever it was you did to me yesterday seems to have cleaned him out of my head. It’s like you put up a concrete wall in my brain to reinforce my mental barriers. It’s hard to explain...”

“You’re saying you’re safe?”

“In a nutshell.”

“How do I know Francois didn’t compel you to say that?”

She looked at a loss for that one. Hot damn, no matter the situation I so loved when I could occasionally beat Sally in a war of words.