Rescue Breathing (38 page)

“
Hi. Nice to see you too,” I say as he
tucks himself back into his pants. I notice that he leaves them
unbuttoned. Very sexy.

He smiles back. “Hey, sorry about that. I
had a stressful morning. Needed to let a little excess energy out.”
He kisses my forehead and starts toward the bedroom as I regain my
composure. I put away the vacuum cleaner, gather up the dirty rags
to toss in the hamper and follow him back to his room. He is
already in the shower when I walk into the bathroom, so I hop up
onto the sink's counter.

I wonder if something is wrong.
“Baby, you okay?” I ask just
loud enough to be heard over the running shower.

“
Yeah,” he replies, his back to me.
“Why?”

“
No reason,” I say. “Just checking in.” I
jump back down off the counter, starting toward the bedroom. “I'm
going to go get my clothes ready. I'll shower when
you'
re
done.
”

I go to the closet and pull out my outfit
for tonight. I've chosen a tight pair of black dress pants and a
very sheer blouse. It's super sexy, and the heels I've chosen to
wear with it really finish the look.

About an hour later, I meet Owen out in
the living room, dressed and ready to go. He's sitting on the couch
wearing tailored jeans, a blue button-down, and a sports jacket. He
looks edible. He turns off the TV as I come out of the bedroom. He
stands, turns to face me and whistles.

“
Jesus, Liv. You look amazing.”

He twirls his index finger so I'll spin
around. I oblige and turn in a small circle, giving him an eyeful.
Seeing enough, Owen takes ahold of my wrist, tugs me to him and
kisses me on the neck.

“
Mmmm. And you smell delicious. I'm going
to have a hard time keeping my hands off of you
tonight.”

“
I don
't remember saying that would be a problem…” I smile into
his shoulder. He takes my hand, and we make our way out to the
waiting car service.

Two hours later, the party is in full
swing. Owen has really been hitting the drinks since we got here,
but he's having a good time, so I'm trying hard not to be
that
girlfriend. Laney is having a
blast and has really taken to Tanner. We spend a great deal of the
night dancing and drinking fruity, frilly drinks. I have a very
healthy buzz, but I am still in that '
feel good'
place.

It's getting late and I'm starting to get
tired. I see Owen at the other end of the bar.
We haven
't interacted much tonight, but that's okay. I
didn't want to leave Laney hanging since she doesn't know anyone.
Plus, I've gotten to know some of the other girlfriends and wives
of Owen's co-workers, which is really great.

Owen
's back is toward me and he's surrounded by a group of his
friends, all of whom seem to be watching someone on the opposite
side. One of them is probably doing crazy shots or something again.
As I move toward where Owen is standing, I see him shaking his head
in disbelief, and then… Did he just adjust himself? Suddenly a
blonde jumps up in front of him, seemingly out of nowhere. I can
see now that she's been dancing for them, and she turns in front of
him, bending over and rubbing her ass against his crotch. He slides
his hand up and down her back. I am dumbfounded. Did I seriously
just see that?

I march up to him, my buzz quickly
disappearing. I tap him on the back as she continues to rub against
his crotch, and he turns. His face is a combination of
drunk/surprised and drunk/not so surprised. He's not pushing her
away. Tanner sees me and moves toward me, moving the blonde out of
the way.

“
Hey, Liv. What's up, doll?” he asks me.
“These crazy motherfuckers got me a dancer, can you believe that
shit?” He sounds nervous.

I'm glaring at Owen, unable to believe
what I just saw. Without taking my eyes off of him, I say, “I'm
leaving. I've had enough.”

Owen turns and starts to reach out to me.
“Baby, baby, baby, baby… Wanna go into the bathroom and reenact our
first weekend together? That would be so hot,” he breathes at me.
He reeks of alcohol.

I put my hands on his shoulders and push
him away.
“I think
you've had all you're getting from me tonight.”

Tanner puts his hand on
Owen'
s upper arm.
“
Dude, come on.
Let her go home.” He nods at me. “I'll get him home, Liv.
We'll be right behind you.”

I nod, and as I'm walking away, Owen grabs
my upper arm painfully, turning me around. “What, are you mad or
something?” he asks, disbelieving.

I stare at him. “Really? That blonde was
just fucking your crotch with her ass and you were practically
inviting it. So yes, I'm angry. I'm going home.”

“
Oh lighten up, Livvie Poo. It's not like
we're married.” His words feel like a simultaneous slap in the face
and punch in the stomach.

Tanner takes a deep breath and starts to
pull Owen back from me. I just shake my head in response, tears
pricking my eyes. I can't bear to look at him again, so I look at
Tanner.

“
Do whatever you want with him. I'm going
home.”

I take the car service back to Owen's
house alone. Why I'm going there, I have no idea. Probably because
all my shit is there. Ugh.

Laney stayed behind. She and Tanner were
really getting along, and I think he may get her to go back to his
place. I would be really thrilled for them if my stupid-ass
boyfriend hadn't fucked up so royally tonight.

When I get back to the apartment, I take
off my clothes, wipe off my makeup, and put on a t-shirt. After
sliding into bed, I pull the covers up to my neck. I try
desperately to shut my mind off, but all that keeps playing over
and over is the last sentence he said.

“
It's not like we're married.
It's not like we're married. It's not like we're
married.”

I have had moments where I thought we had
a really substantial future, Owen and I
—this recent weekend at my folks being one of
those moments. I guess I have been misreading the cues.
He warned me early on that he
wasn't looking for anything more than this. Maybe I shouldn't have
been so wishful. I want to be strong, but the combination of
alcohol and my genuinely hurt feelings cause me to start crying.
And that is how I drift asleep.

I feel someone shaking my shoulder. My
eyes open, adjusting to the dark. The clock says 5:00 a.m. God,
I've only been asleep for two and a half hours.

“
Olivia… Baby...” I hear a voice say in the
dark.

I turn around and see Owen kneeling next
to me.
He is freshly
showered, and as my eyes adjust, I see he looks
contrite.

“
What?” I snap, not attempting to be
nice.

“
I am so, so sorry.
I'm an asshole.”

“
Yes, you are,” I confirm.

He rubs his hands over his face and then
his hair. He eventually places them back down on his knees. “I
deserve that. I apologize. Tanner told me what I said and did. I
haven't drunk like that in a very long time.
I don
't know what came over me. If the tables had been turned,
I'd be a madman right now. I have no idea what to say.”

He looks truly sorry and ashamed. This
pleases me to no end. I crook my finger at him and he lies down
next to me, pulling the covers over himself. He tucks me into his
arms and buries his face into my hair.

“
Don't let it happen again,” I
whisper.

He shakes his head into my shoulder and we
close our eyes. There is so much I want to say, but my fear of
losing what I
do
have with him
is stronger than my need to work this out with him.
There is always
tomorrow
, I think to
myself as I drift off.

C
HAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

Owen

It
's been an interesting week for Olivia and me. She's had
some time off from work, so she has been staying over my place more
and more. I love having her here, love even more having access to
her body every night, but I'm not sure how I feel about having
someone in my space all day every day. I
'
m
starting to feel a little panicked. I chalk it up to my having not
had anyone living with me since Molly, but I feel bad that I'm not
ecstatic that she's been here. Things have been a little tense the
last twenty-four hours, and I think that Olivia is noticing my
uneasiness.

I didn
'
t sleep well
last night. My mind wouldn
'
t shut off, and
I just kept ruminating about Olivia. Not to mention, I had another
stress-induced nightmare. I got up early and watched Olivia sleep
peacefully while I got ready for a run. I needed to get out of the
apartment and burn off some of this nervous energy. Runs always
clear my head, and I craved that adrenaline rush.

When I get back from my run, I walk into a
quiet apartment. "Liv?" I call out. I hear a muffled voice coming
from the bedroom. As I get closer to the voice, I can hear that
it's Olivia on the phone with, I think, Charley.

"Are you kidding? That's awesome. I'm glad
you and Marc are getting along so well!" she says
excitedly.

I smile.
I'm kind of glad Marc and Charley hooked up too.
Marc's a good guy.

She continues. "Who me? Oh shut up,
Charley. Marriage? Are you crazy? I mean… I don't know. This week
has been awesome. Yes, I've been here all week. I don't think he
wants that Charley. I know. Yeah, I guess I do. I don't know. Oh,
okay. I'll call you later then. Love you, Charley."

I scramble away from the door, my heart
hammering. Marriage? Oh fuck no, not marriage. She knows how I feel
about that. How did we go from fucking like rabbits to her spending
the week to marriage? Fuck…fuck…
fuck
!

I need to get to the firehouse. I'm two
hours early for my shift, but I need some space. I walk
purposefully into the room to find Olivia sitting on the bed, legs
crossed, phone in hand as she checks her messages. She looks up and
smiles. That smile…I love that smile…

"Hey, baby," she says, "Good run?"

I walk into the bathroom and start to
strip my clothes off for a shower. "Yeah, it was good. I'm gonna
shower. I was asked to come in a little early today.” I'm lying,
but she won't know that. Since when did lying to her become so
easy? I scrunch my eyebrows at the realization.

“
Oh,” she says quietly.

Damn.
Now she's disappointed.

She watches me as I walk into the
bathroom, and she follows, leaning against the doorframe as I start
the water running. “Owen, are you okay? Did I do something?” Olivia
asks with a concerned look on her beautiful face.

“
What? No. I'm just a little amped up from
my run. That's all.” I turn my back to her as I slip off the rest
of my clothes and grab a towel from the closet.

"You want some company?" Olivia asks with a
seductive lilt to her voice.

"I'll need to take a rain check. I…I
really need to get going and you'd be a distraction.” I give her a
quick wink and shut the door on a confused-looking
Olivia.

I press my back to the door and look
towards the ceiling.
I'm acting like an asshole,
I think to myself. Since when did I care if she
was being a distraction?

* * *

I step out of the shower into the
steam
-filled bathroom. I
halfway thought Olivia would have joined me in the shower, but I'm
sick from thinking that I'm glad she didn't. I just need some
space. Some time to breathe. Some time to think. Just the same, I
should apologize. I was just plain rude to her. I secure a fluffy
white towel tightly around my waist and step out of the
bathroom.

“
Olivia?” I call out, but the apartment is
silent. “Liv?”

I pad barefoot into the living room, hoping
to find her there. I look over to the kitchen and see a note on the
counter.

Going to run some errands. Hope you're
okay.

You seem a little off. I'll swing by the
firehouse

later with some lunch for you. xo Liv

I rub my hands over my face and through my
wet hair.
I'm such a
dick. I wanted to talk to her, damn it. She's the one person I
should be talking to about this. She deserves to know what's going
on in my head. I need to just let her in. I promise myself that
I'll talk to her about it when I get home. I look at the clock and
head back to the bathroom to get dressed for my shift.

* * *

Three hours later, I
'm bored out of my skull in the firehouse.
We have cleaned, rearranged, and played cards. It's just a quiet
day, which isn't a bad thing. That means there are no fires
destroying the city, but it's boring nonetheless. I grab a book and
move out to the truck bay, where there is a nice breeze. Sitting
back in a chair, I prop my feet up to read.