Pursuit For Lucidity (Crashing Waves) (48 page)

“
Well, I didn’t say it to his face.  It was part of a text.  I’m beginning to feel that I need to turn off my phone or just avoid replying to his texts all together.  Since I can’t seem to say anything nice these days, I should probably just shut my mouth and not say anything at all,” I replied.

Laura laughe
d, “I didn’t say it, you did.”

I had packed a pair of jeans to change into after work before I headed to Calabasas.  I didn’t want to be uncomfortable in my professional clothes all nigh
t at the family dinner.  Five o’clock came around and I changed quickly.  I knew traffic would be horrendous, since it was a Friday night and I didn’t want to be late and make Calvin even more nervous than he probably already was.

Chapter 18

My horrendous traffic prediction was accurate.  It began to drizzle and everyone began to slow down for no apparent reason.  I knew it was going to be a while until I made it to my destination.  Calvin called me to let me know he was stuck in traffic as well.  I comforted him as much as I could, since he was extremely nervous about coming out in front of the family.

After over an hour on the wet road, I made it to my parents’ house.  I parked my car on the circular driveway
and ran inside, but still managed to get wet from all the rain.  I headed inside and hugged my mother.

“
Hi sweetheart.  You’re all wet.  It must have started raining hard again,” she said, feeling my wet hair.  I went into the family room where my father was on his cell phone with a client.  He smiled and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Calvin arrived shortly after I did.
I gave him a hug and a kiss and whispered in his ear assuring him that everything was going to go smoothly that night. Kyle and Molly called to let us know they were on their way, but the traffic was slowing them down as well.  I went into the kitchen to see what my mother had cooked.  I was pleased to find steak, baked potato and a green salad.

Just as I was beginning to starve, Kyle and Molly finally arrived.
  We all hugged and kissed as if we hadn’t seen each other in decades.  The last time I had seen Molly, Alex and I were still together.

“
How are you doing?” she asked.

“
I’m doing pretty good, I guess.  How are you, Molly.  Gosh, we need to get together more often,” I told her.

“
Yes, we do,” she agreed.

My father was finally off the phone and it was dinnertime.  Molly and I helped my mother take the food to the dinner table.  It smelled so delicious that I couldn’t wait to put the first bite in my mouth.  I took a seat right next to Calvin as Molly and Kyle sat across from us, and my mother and father each took a seat at their usual seats at the
head of the table across from one another.

The conversations were all over the place.  We talked about school, politics, work, and even fashion.  Calvin looked very uneasy.  My mother
picked up on his anxious state.

“
Cal, honey, are you feeling all right?” she asked.

“
Yeah, mom. Why?” he asked, in a shaky voice.

Th
en she steered her attention in my direction, “Claire, sweetheart, you’re looking so much better lately.  You’re not so thin anymore.  I mean, you’re thin, don’t get me wrong, but you don’t look like a stick as you did the last time you had dinner here,” she explained.

“
Thanks, mom.  I guess I should take that as a compliment,” I smiled.

I looked over at Calvin, trying to communicate with him using my eyes
, but he just wasn’t able to speak.  I figured he was probably waiting for dessert to break the news.  After we ate, I helped my mother take the dishes into the kitchen and bring out the fruit tart and dessert dishes.  We all devoured the fruit tart my mother had baked herself.  Calvin kept drying his sweaty palms as he had done when he had taken me out to dinner to come out of the closet.  He looked as if he was going to faint.

“
I could use a little help,” he whispered to me.

“
What do you want me to do?” I asked.

“
Maybe you should say it,” he said.

“
Me?” I opened my eyes as wide as they would open.

Calvin began to speak,
“Okay everyone.  I have some news I would like to share with you all.  Uh, I uh, I don’t know how, uh,” he looked at me tongue-tied.  I knew he wanted me to take over.

“
What Calvin is trying to say is that he is gay,” I blurted out.  Calvin took a big sigh of relief as if a ton of bricks had been lifted off his chest.  There was nothing but silence.  Everyone just looked around at everyone else.  Everything was in slow motion.  My mother was the first to say something.

“
Oh, Calvin, really?  I’m surprised.  This is such a shock,” for the first time in her life my mother didn’t have much to say.

“
Whatever floats your boat, bro,” was Kyle’s response.

“
You look happy, Calvin, and that’s all that matters,” Molly said.

My father didn’t say anything.  He threw down his napkin onto his dessert dish and left the table.  It sounded as if he went into his home office and shut the door loudly.  Calvin looked disappointed and sad so my mother assured him, “Oh, sweetheart, I think your fath
er is just very shocked.  Give him some time to come around.  He obviously wasn’t expecting this tonight,” she explained.  “We all know he’s not homophobic, so it will just take some time to absorb the news,” she added.

Calvin stood up, “I’m going to go talk to him,” he said and headed for the office.

Kyle, Molly and I helped my mother clear the table and loaded the dishwasher.  My mother made hot chocolate and we enjoyed that in the family room in front of the fireplace.  We all chatted for at least an hour as Calvin and my father were still in the office.

Finally
, after what it seemed like an eternity, they came out of the office and joined us.  Calvin winked at me and I knew everything went well.  I felt so relieved that I released a big sigh of relief as Calvin had done earlier.  I looked at my father to see if I could read him, but all I could make out was that he was happy.  I began to yawn which triggered everyone else’s yawn and we all laughed.  I had a full stomach topped off with warm hot cocoa and felt ready for bed.  Kyle, Molly, and Calvin were also feeling a little tired and were ready to head out.  We said our goodbyes and slowly left my parents’ home.  I was happy with the way the evening had turned out and how smoothly Calvin’s news had gone.  It was raining so much heavier out that we all ran as quickly as we could to our cars and got inside before we were soaked.

On the drive home, my phone rang.  It was Melissa.  I wondered why she was calling me and what she could possibly need
.

“
Hi Claire, it’s Melissa.  How are you?  I’m sorry if I’m calling you at a bad time, but I just wanted to let you know that there’s another really nice fashion show coming up next month and I could get you in for free if you’d like,” she said.  Why was she asking me and not her sister in law?

“
It’s nice to hear from you, Melissa.  I don’t think I would feel comfortable accepting that offer, though.  Why don’t you ask Angela?” I advised.

“
Maybe because I feel more comfortable around my brother’s ex girlfriend than his ex wife,” she laughed.

“
Ex wife?  Angela left him?  I don’t blame her, to be honest.  She probably couldn’t handle the fact that her husband was having an affair while she was in a hospital recovering from…what did she have, anyway?  Cancer?” I asked, dying from curiosity.

“
Angela?  Cancer?  No way,” she chuckled.  “First of all, they had been separated since Alex’s last birthday over a year ago. She was giving him a very hard time and refused to sign divorce papers. She didn’t have cancer, Claire.  She was in a ninety-day drug rehabilitation program.  Alex didn’t cheat on Angela.  She cheated on him, hence the separation.  Didn’t Alex tell you anything?” She asked.

“
Drug rehab?  You mean she’s not really sick or dying?  She doesn’t live with Alex?” My questions would have been endless, but I had to limit them.

“
She hasn’t lived with Alex for over a year, Claire.  I think you should talk to Alex and he can fill you in on his soap opera life.  I kept pushing him to mention Angela to you while you were dating, but he kept chickening out.  I felt really bad for him when she showed up that one Sunday.  I thought by now he would have told you everything, though,” she said.

“
He would have if I had given him the chance.  I feel like such a jerk, Melissa.  Can I get back to you regarding the fashion show?” I asked, my mind elsewhere.

“
Sure, just let me know within a week if you can.  Claire, I’m sorry if I upset you or opened a can of worms.  I need to learn to keep my mouth shut.” she apologized.

“
Actually, Melissa, you clarified a lot of things for me.  Thank you,” I said before we hung up.  My mind was overflowing with questions.  Why did Angela spend three months in a drug rehab and what type of a drug addiction did she have?  Who did she cheat on Alex with?  All along I thought the woman was sick and Alex was the selfish husband who wanted his cake and eat it too.  I had it all wrong.  I couldn’t concentrate or focus on my driving.  I stopped the car and turned it around and headed to Alex’s house.  The rain was coming down hard.  The windshield wipers were working on overtime and I could hardly see in front of me.  More thoughts flooded my mind on the way to Alex’s house.  Would he be home?  Would he be alone?  What if there was a woman in his house?  I had spent plenty of time with Stefano myself, although we hadn’t become intimate.  I had to at least apologize or give him the chance he had been begging for to tell me his story.  I wanted to call him, but I had been so mean to him that past week that I feared he would tell me he didn’t want to see me.

After a long and wet drive on PCH, I finally made it to Alex’s gate.  I recalled the code to his private gate and opened the car window and punched it in.  I drove up his private driveway and parked in front of his house.  The rain came down so hard that by the time I opened the car door and ran to his front door, I was soaked.  I rang the doorbell and waited for Alex to open the door.  My heart was beating faster by the second.  He didn’t come to the door
, so I rang the bell again and knocked a couple of times.  I knew he had to be home because I could see the lights were on inside the house.  What if he had a guest? 
Oh no!
  Maybe he had moved on.  Who could blame him?  After all, I had been a complete psycho bitch to him after meeting Angela.  I rang the bell one last time and decided to leave if he didn’t open the door.  I called him.  I sent him a text message.  Nothing.  No response.  My heart sank.

The tears began to roll down my cheeks as I slowly walked back to my car, careless about the pouring rain coming down on me like taking a shower with my clothes on.  I unlocked the car door and began opening it.  Just as I was about to get back in the car, I heard th
e front door open.

“
Claire?” Alex asked, obviously wondering why I was standing on his driveway, soaking wet.  “Claire, get out of that rain.  Come inside before you freeze to death,” he commanded.  I ran toward the front door and into the house.  Alex closed the door after me and looked confused as to why I had suddenly showed up at his house.

“
Is everything all right, Claire?  Are you crying?  What happened?” he asked.

“
I want to know everything, Alex,” I said as the tears streamed down my face.  “I want you to tell me what you’ve been trying to tell me all this time,” I said, hardly audible through all my tears.  Alex held me in his arms against his warm, shirtless body.

“
I thought you’d never ask,” he replied, relief in his voice.  “Let’s get you out of these wet clothes and into a warm bath,” he said, taking my hand and walking me to the master bathroom.  Alex began to fill the bathtub with hot water and the oils he had gotten for me while we were together.  I began to shiver as he undressed me.  He held my hand and assisted me into the bathtub while he sat on the outside of the tub.  He still hadn’t shaved, his hair was getting too long, and he had dark circles under his eyes.  Regardless, he looked as handsome as ever in his black sweatpants and nothing else.

“
Why did it take you so long to answer the door?” I asked.

“
I had fallen asleep on the couch.  I didn’t sleep well last night,” he said.

I reached over
and rubbed my hand on his face.  “You don’t like to shave these days, do you?” I asked.

“
You know what?  I’m going to do that right now, just for you,” he smiled and got up and headed toward the vanity and began shaving.  After he had a clean shave, he came back and sat down at the edge of the tub.  “Is my clean shave to your satisfaction?” he asked with a sexy smile on his face.

“
It’s perfect.  Just like the Alex I know,” I replied.