In Search of Lucy (6 page)

Katie stared at the computer screen on her laptop, reading over the last few sentences she’d written.
I can’t believe how amazing you are. Right now your favorite game is poker, and you love deuces wild. You are so smart, Carly Jean. BTW, you lost your first tooth yesterday.

This was what made Katie feel at peace. It was what made her forget about what she was going through. She started Carly’s journal when she was just eight months old. Katie had two reasons for doing this. One, she didn’t want to forget a single moment of the precious gift she had been given. That’s also why she was always taking pictures. The other reason was she wanted to be able to give it to Carly when she was older. Katie herself had very few memories to enjoy. The best times were when she was much younger. There were a couple of unfinished photo albums, but it was difficult for her to put the pieces together.

There could be one more advantage to having this documented keepsake for Carly as she got older, but that was something Katie did not want to think about. And although Rick thought about that in the back of his mind, he never brought it up.

Katie continued typing and then paused for a moment. Usually at some point she would hear tiptoeing little feet trying to come in for a peek. Katie always told Carly it was a surprise and she had to wait until she was older. This time the feet she heard were louder and much heavier. Coming from around the corner, Rick entered the room. He walked over to the bed where Katie had the computer balanced on her crisscrossed legs.

“Hey,” Katie said. She looked up from her writing with a cheery smile.

“Hey, babe.” Rick walked over to the bed and leaned over, then gave her a quick kiss on the lips. “Writing about our little genius again?” He sat down in a chair next to the bed, sliding himself all the way down with his long legs stretched out as if he were settling in for a while.

“Of course.” She stopped typing and set the computer to the side. “I just wrote about her tooth and how cute she was when she spit it into her hand.”

“
You’re
cute,” Rick said. He looked sweetly at her.

“What?” she asked, a little embarrassed.

“You love her so much.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s just cute that’s all. You were just beaming when you were talking about her.”

“So I’m proud and excited about our daughter.”

“That’s why you are such a great mom. And that’s why you deserve a whole day to yourself.” He sat up, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small, square box and handed it to Katie. “Happy Mother’s Day.”

Caught totally off guard, Katie said, “Oh my gosh.” She took the box in her hand and laughed. “I totally forgot. Thank you so much.” She opened the box and found a gold heart locket on a chain. The front of the heart had two gems embedded in it, a ruby for her birthstone and a clear diamond for Carly’s. “I love it!”

“Open it up.”

Katie wedged open the locket with her fingernail and revealed a tiny picture inside. It was her favorite shot of her holding Carly in the backyard when she was just a few weeks old. Katie’s eyes welled up, and a couple of tears escaped down her cheek. She held the locket by the chain in one hand and reached out with both arms to Rick.

“You’re the best, you know that?” She held on tight for a few more seconds and then released him and said, “Let me put it on.”

“Want me to do it?”

“I got it,” she said, reaching behind her neck and clasping the necklace together.

“It looks great on you.”

“Thank you.” She sat up straight and sported a proud smile as if modeling a new dress. About a second later the smile faded some. “Hey…it’s Mother’s Day.”

“Yeah?” Rick said. He looked confused.

“So where’s my special girl then?”

“Well, she had a little plan of her own.” He pointed toward the window behind her where the blinds had been just slightly open. “She said she would be here in a minute.”

Katie turned to look out the window and saw Carly in the backyard. She was holding a combination of flowers and weeds in her hand and was sitting on a short brick wall rummaging through a plant with her hand. Katie enjoyed the moment and then fought hard against the unpleasant thoughts that often seeped into her brain. She had worked hard over the years to savor every memory and take each day as a blessing. That was getting tougher now that her situation was getting worse. She turned back to her husband, her rock through it all. “Am I doing the right thing? Not just for me, but for you…and for Carly?”

“Yes.
We
are doing the right thing.” Rick got up and sat on the small space on the side of the bed next to Katie. “I thought we both agreed that dialysis was running our lives. It’s just too much for you to take. It’s too much for anyone. And like Dr. Brady said, it’s not being as effective now.”

“I know you’re right.” Katie turned to her side facing Rick and scooted right in and under his arm. That was a place she felt safe. His arm landed tight around her for the finishing touch. “I’m just scared of the surgery, let alone the thought of not finding a match. There’re just so many things to consider and so many things that could go wrong.”

“Let’s just worry about one thing at a time. That’s why we’re doing it now. So we have the time to find someone…and even if we don’t, you will be on the list. But I have a really good feeling we’re going to find someone. Hand me your computer for a sec.” He took his arm from around her and pushed himself upright. “I’ve got something to show you.”

Rick put the computer in his lap and double-clicked the icon for the Internet. After a few more clicks, he arrived at his destination.

Katie looked over his shoulder interested and engaged, and when he stopped clicking and started typing she said, “What? You said you would never join one of those sites.”

Rick entered his e-mail and password and hit enter on the keyboard. “Check it out, babe.” He made a sweeping motion with his hand as if he were a model on a game show. “We already have thirty-four friends. And some have already agreed to get tested and will give us all their updates through status postings.”

Katie was speechless and stared at the screen with a wide-open mouth. She wrapped her arms around Rick’s neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I can’t believe you did this.”

“I know, I’m a genius.” He turned his head and looked directly in her eyes. For a few seconds neither moved nor spoke. They did not need words, for at that moment they both knew they were thinking the same thing. Together they could make it through anything. Rick laid his arm across her hip and gave her a long, gentle kiss. The moment could not have been more perfect, and then, suddenly, they felt a cannonball land on the bed.

“Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!” Totally unaware of her unfortunate timing, Carly thrust the flower/weed bundle right up to Katie’s face.

“Dude! What are you doing?” Kyle’s brother Alex asked as he looked over Kyle’s shoulder. Kyle was sitting at the kitchen table looking through his yearbook. Alex sat down next to his big brother and leaned in. “What’s up, bro?”

“Oh, hey, Alex,” Kyle said, not even looking up with his greeting. It was late morning, and Alex was wearing navy blue sweat bottoms and a white undershirt.

“Uh…hello?” He stretched out the “o” sound.

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m looking at my yearbook.”

“Yeah, but why?” Alex reached across the table for the opened box of cereal and carried it over to the counter. His hair was a shade darker than Kyle’s sandy locks, and it always seemed to have that
I don’t care
look to it. With his eyes still on his brother, he reached back and grabbed a bowl from the cupboard. He’d already made himself right at home though he had only been staying with Kyle for three days. Stuck with a giant student loan and no job prospects, and not wanting to live with their parents, Alex had asked Kyle if he could move in “for a while.” Kyle wasn’t too worried about what that meant. The two got along well enough, as far as brothers go, and Kyle was actually looking forward to a little change in his life. He himself would admit that things had been pretty mundane as of late.

“Just wanted to see what someone looked like back then.” Kyle flipped through the pages, carefully combing each side, then finally stopped and pointed to a photo. “And there she is.” He skimmed his hand across the top of his hair, ran it down around his head, and then rested it under his chin with his elbow balanced on the table.

Alex set the cereal box down, did a side hop around the counter, and slid perfectly into the chair. “Who is she?” Alex always had women on his mind, but those days there wasn’t much else, so he was game for a little female intrigue.

“Lucy Lang,” Kyle said with his finger and his gaze still on the picture.

“Not bad. So what’s the story?”

“No story…yet.”

“There’s always a story.”

“Not for you, little bro.” Kyle gave Alex a little puppy pat on the top of his head.

“C’mon, is that all I get?” Alex sighed. Then he got up and went back to making his breakfast. “I hate it when you do that.”

“Do what?” Kyle asked defensively.

“You dig through all that crap in the garage to find your yearbook to look up some chick and there’s no story? You gotta give me something. Did you guys hook up or what?”

“I really just met her a couple of weeks ago, but I plan to ask her out.”

“Plan to?” Alex grabbed a few pieces of cereal and popped them in his mouth. “Is that a long-range plan?” he asked sarcastically. “C’mon, bro, what are you waiting for? You worried about Shannon?”

“Definitely not. Shannon has been over for months.”

“See, you never tell me anything.” Alex walked over to the table with his cereal and gave Kyle a smack on the back before sitting back down. “We’re roomies now, bro. We gotta tell each other crap like that.”

Kyle smiled and appreciated his brother’s pushiness. He didn’t mind that he was the one who was supposed to be giving the advice since he was four years older. Charm was Alex’s biggest asset. Two inches shorter than Kyle, his five-foot-ten frame was pretty solid. He had about eighty percent of Kyle’s looks but a hundred and ten percent more personality. Neither was jealous of the other, and Kyle didn’t mind benefitting from Alex’s talent for getting what he wanted.

“Now let me tell you something. Get on the horn right now and give her a call.”

“This girl is different though. I already called her once, and she hasn’t called me back yet.”

“Oh, so you mean she’s a bitch?” Alex said with a sly smile. “You have been known to be attracted to those.”

“Shut up, man.” Kyle got up from the table and carried his bowl to the sink. He washed the bowl and spoon sufficient enough to be clean, but he still placed it in the dishwasher—a habit he’d learned from his mother. He leaned up against the counter and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. “There’s just something about her. I don’t know what it is yet, but I can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Well, there you go. Let’s go pick out a ring.”

“You’re an ass!” Kyle said more slyly than with anger. Alex was lucky Kyle was in a good mood since that comment should have landed him a backhand on the neck. He knew this was a sore subject, and sometimes he pushed things too far.

Kyle’s three-year engagement to a girl he met in college ended with her cheating with his then-roommate Michael. They met their sophomore year at UCLA, and Kyle was happy to finally be dating someone who was more driven than he was. They were engaged the next year, and both agreed they should wait until they graduated to get married. After another year passed and Kyle was still stalling, Shannon became frustrated, and while Kyle was out of town at a recruitment fair, she sought comfort with his roomie. There’d been no other serious relationships since then, and no roommates to boot, until now.

“Well, I’m outta here.” Alex jumped up and headed for the door, grabbing a banana as he passed Kyle. “You keep staring at that phone. Maybe you can send her a message with your mind.”

This is so stupid,
Kyle thought to himself. She must have had a good reason for not calling him back. He should just give it another shot, and if she wasn’t interested then fine, end of story. He punched in the number, hesitated for just a second, and then hit the green send button.

Every time the phone rang, Rick and Katie both wondered if it was her doctor with news about a donor. It had been several weeks since they made the decision, and they were nearing the end of their search. No possible matches had turned up from Rick’s small but dependable family, or from their close friends and neighbors. Even some of the local Realtors that Rick and George knew got tested. Her doctor had told her not to get discouraged because there was plenty of time, and she was still on the donor waiting list. But somewhere inside, Katie sensed that she could have less time than they originally thought. She knew her body, and in the last few months she just didn’t feel as good as she should have.

It was about seven thirty, and Rick was loading the dishwasher while Katie was helping Carly with her bath. Actually, she was pretending to be organizing the sink area since Carly insisted she could do it herself, but Katie didn’t want to leave her alone. The phone rang, and only Rick heard it; he picked it up after the second ring. Dr. Brady said he was working late and finally got to his afternoon messages, which brought some incredible news. Rick couldn’t get off the phone fast enough and raced to the bathroom.

“You’re not going to believe this,” Rick announced, standing in the doorway.

Katie, kneeling down next to the bathtub, just stared at Rick. Carly was trying to gather up the last of the faded bubbles in the tub.

“What, Daddy?” Carly said for her mother.

“Well, it’s not a hundred percent yet, but it looks like Aunt Lucy is Mommy’s match!”

Katie still didn’t move. The news was taking some time to register in her brain. She was supposed to be happy, relieved. “Wow,” she finally said anticlimactically.

“This is great news.” Rick knew she’d need some convincing at first. “Look, babe, your sister is the one…and you need to just forget about all that other stuff. This is incredible!”

“What other stuff, Mommy?”

“Oh…well Aunt Lucy and I didn’t always get along so well. Remember, I explained that to you before.”

“Oh yeah.” Katie scooped up some bubbles and made a pile on top of her head. “Look at my crown!”

Rick grabbed Katie’s hands and pulled her up. He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her into his hug.

“C’mon, baby, let’s just be happy with what we’ve got.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry, babe. I’m sure everything’s going to work out. And yes, I am happy.” Her voice sounded as if she were reading dialogue from a script.

“Yeah, you sound ecstatic.” He let her down but still held her waist.

“Does this mean Mommy’s going to get better?” Carly interrupted.

“There’s a good chance now, sweetie.” Katie looked at Rick with a genuine smile. “Seriously, I’m happy. How could I not be?”

“Yay! I’m happy too!” Carly threw both her hands in the air, flinging water that splashed onto Katie and Rick.

Lucy felt a soft tap on her shoulder and turned to the elderly woman sitting two chairs over from her. The woman was trying to get her attention, but Lucy hadn’t heard her, given that she was lost in the therapy of her iPod. Music was like medicine to her, and when she had both ears connected, eyes closed, she could usually free herself, even if for a few moments, of the loneliness and regret she felt. But this time she was ingesting the news that, so far, all the tests she had taken indicated that she would most likely be a match for her sister Katie. And once confirmed locally, she would need to go there for final confirmation and eventually the surgery that would save her sister.

“Excuse me, but your phone…it’s ringing.” The woman wore a white fuzzy sweater that matched her hair. She pointed to Lucy’s cell perched upon her purse in the seat between them.

Lucy pulled out one earbud and let it dangle. It took a second to realize what the woman was saying until she heard the faint buzzing of her cell phone. She had put it on silent when she arrived at the doctor’s office for her psychological evaluation.

“Oh, thanks.” She fumbled with the phone and was able to hit accept just before the last ring sent the caller to voice mail. The old woman smiled, content with herself.

“Hello?” she said quietly. She looked around to see if anyone was annoyed by her answering the phone, even though there were only two other people in the room. The receptionist was the only one to look up, but just for a second.

“Hey, Lucy, it’s Kyle.”

There was a minor delay, so Kyle repeated, “Kyle Benson, remember me from the—”

“Of course I remember you. I gave you my number.”

“Yes, you did.” His voice sounded friendly yet put off. “That’s why I called you last week.”

“Oh…I’m really sorry.” Lucy got up from her chair and walked to the open doorway where she could stand and still listen for her name. “Things have been kind of crazy lately.”

“Sorry to hear that. Is this a bad time?”

“Actually…it kind of is,” said she apologetically. The old woman watched her and smiled. Lucy wondered why she wasn’t looking at a magazine or even watching the TV. She wished she could be that relaxed and patient.

“I can call you back later?” His voice stuttered and strained, but he said what he thought she wanted him to say.

“Well, the thing is…that I’m right in the middle of something and it’s going to take a while. And actually…I should probably say that right now I really don’t have the time to—”

“Eat?” he interrupted her.

“Eat?” she repeated in confusion.

“Yeah. I mean I know you’ve got a lot going on, but everyone’s gotta eat, right?” His words were spilling out fast, hoping that she wouldn’t be able to get a word in to say no. “We could meet somewhere for lunch or dinner…or breakfast. I just thought…well…you gave me your number, and I really—”

“Okay!” she jumped in abruptly. “How about Friday night?” She wondered if the old woman just gave her a nod of approval or if she had imagined that.

“Uh, yeah, great!”

“I’ll text you my address later tonight. You want to pick me up at seven?”

“Sure, that’s great, Lucy. I’m really looking forward—”

Noticing the woman behind the counter waving her over, she hurriedly said, “Oh, I’m sorry, gotta go!” She walked toward her holding up a finger. “Let’s work out the details later. Bye,” she said as she closed her phone. “Sorry about that,” Lucy said as she arrived at the counter. She felt bad about cutting Kyle off, but she did not want to be a problem today. As much as she dreaded going, she was fortunate to get an appointment. They’d agreed to fit her in at the last minute due to her particular circumstances.

Lucy had hoped the meeting wouldn’t be anything like her experiences with the school counselor. Mr. Anderson drilled her like a witness in a Supreme Court trial. Lucy figured the school must have had some idea how bad things were at home, and he was just trying to get some information. “I have nothing to say to you,” she would tell him time after time. Mr. Anderson used words like “loner” and “withdrawn” and told her she was “much too smart for the grades she was getting.” She wasn’t about to trust him. She couldn’t trust anyone. She just sat there staring at the picture on the corner of his desk: Mr. Anderson, his lovely blonde bride, and two little girls, both in matching lavender dresses.

Today she would play the part of the loving, concerned sister. Lucy knew what they were looking for, and she would deliver. She had to. If she didn’t show that she was sure about her decision, that she was a perfectly sane person, they may decide she couldn’t donate to Katie.

“No problem. I have one more paper for you to fill out.” She handed Lucy a clipboard with a paper attached to it. The woman’s long blue nails clicked against the board, and Lucy cringed. They were tacky and reminded her of some of the type of work Suzie did for her clients.

“Thanks.” Lucy took the clipboard and went back to her seat.

She finished the last paper and gave it back to the receptionist, who repeated her standard, “Thanks, it’ll be just a few minutes.” Lucy remembered her saying that to the fuzzy-haired woman about half an hour ago, but she was still there. Returning to her seat, Lucy spent the next half hour listening to her iPod, doodling on an old grocery list that was in her purse, and watching CNBC talk about the immigration situation. She wondered why they had such dry and depressing stuff on the TV given the mental state of some of the people waiting in the room. It was about fifteen more minutes before the patient door opened again. In the last few minutes, Lucy grew stressed. For only a brief moment, she actually thought about walking out. She had come so far. She had to see it through. So when the nurse called her name, she gathered her things and headed for the door.