In Search of Lucy (5 page)

After sleeping for the equivalent of almost an entire day, Lucy woke way too early for a Sunday morning. It would be a short day at Amy’s since they were only open from twelve to five, but she had a lot to do. Her original plan was to work on the designs for the window display on Monday, since the salon was closed that day. But now she was expecting the test kit to arrive Monday and wanted to get the tests started right away. So today she would have to muster up the strength and get those creative juices flowing. After closing she would convince Mr. Chin and Amy to let her create her next
commercial
masterpiece. But first, she had something more important to do, something she hadn’t done in years.

Opening the thick, heavy door to the cathedral, Lucy felt like she was stepping into an eclipse. It had been so many years that she had forgotten how dark and huge and beautiful the church was. There was a time when going to church was a comfort to her. She could see herself there, sitting in one big row, all squashed up between her family. Half the time she wasn’t even listening to the sermon—she just loved being there, feeling safe in the heart of her family.

Ducking into one of the back rows, Lucy knelt down, then entered a pew. She noticed a white-haired man with a powder blue cardigan hanging loosely over his hunched back as he crept along the aisle. He took a seat three rows ahead, right across from a woman with a small boy. The woman had tired clothes and was shushing the curly-haired child for tapping his shoes on the echoing floor. The robed man at the altar turned for the shushing, not the tapping.

Lucy bowed her head, and before she knew it, ten minutes had passed. When she finally looked up, the old man had ambled out and had almost made it to the door. The boy was on his knees facing backward, staring right at Lucy. She smiled, he frowned. She frowned, he smiled. They both snorted. Lucy rose, causing an abrupt about-face from the boy. The flickering lights of the burning candles caught her eye as she made her way back down the aisle. Before pushing her way back into the light, Lucy turned for one last look at her younger, happier self.

“Lucy, so glad you’re feeling better!” came Amy’s cheery voice.

“Thanks, Amy.”

“Listen, sweetie, please give out your cell phone. Mickey get mad you get too many personal calls.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about Rick. Did he call again?”

“Rick? No Rick. Somebody name Kyle call for you.” Amy shuffled away, leaving a fuzzy pink blur in her wake. Waving a hand at the cash register she said, “His number on the counter.”

Lucy’s face turned hot, and she felt her stomach drop like she was on a roller coaster.
How did he find out where I work? Did I tell him? Could he have noticed some of his pills were missing? Maybe he just wants to see if I’m okay since I left the party.
She walked over to the counter and saw the piece of paper with Kyle’s number on it. Once the feeling of shock and embarrassment wore off, she felt a small surge of excitement. She planned to call him back, but not until she got home.

The end of the day couldn’t arrive soon enough. Lucy was surprised that she was anxious to call Kyle. But whatever he wanted, he would have to wait. Lucy’s vision for the store’s window was going to get its fighting chance tonight after work. She would convince them that the entry to the store needed a fresh new look. It was too bad she didn’t have some fancy graphics program to do mock-ups and print them out. Old-fashioned drawing on paper would have to do. It got her other jobs, so she was at least optimistic.

Sitting at the counter finalizing the receipts for the day, Lucy felt relieved that Mickey had called to say he’d be late. She did not want to do this in front of the two busybodies. Kim wouldn’t say anything, but Suzie would definitely add her two cents. They were both finally ready to walk out, and Suzie shot a final command at Lucy: “Don’t forget to reschedule my ten a.m. on Wednesday, Lucy. I don’t want Mrs. Wallace getting mad at me again.”

“I said I would,” was Lucy’s only response even though she really wanted to tell Suzie just what she could do with her schedule. Behind the girls exiting, she could see Mickey walking up. She sat around growing bored and frustrated waiting for Mickey to do his regular routine.
Like he couldn’t do that stuff after I leave,
she thought to herself, sulking. Thirty minutes later, all three were sitting on the front area couch. She spoke more professionally than usual and showed her design ideas as well as the designs of other projects she’d done. Amy asked why she hadn’t mentioned her other projects before, but she knew the answer. They both listened intently, giving Lucy her fair chance. Lucy thought she even saw a slim smile from Mickey. But after about twenty more minutes, they both simply said they’d let her know. Lucy was a little disappointed, but that was how most things happened at Amy’s. No decision was ever made lightly. For a moment, she had a feeling it would go her way. But then again, how often did things really go her way?

It was getting late, and Lucy had wanted to get out of there. She was dying to have a drink and just relax. Being professional and upbeat certainly took its toll. It was something that didn’t come naturally; Lucy had to work at it. But it would be worth it to do what she loved and get paid for it. The fact that painting was one of the only things that had made her happy the last few years was abundantly clear to Lucy. There was nothing else.

Lucy said a formal thank-you, gathered up her things, and headed out the door. Her hands were full with her designs, her purse, and an empty cup she was drinking from; Mr. Chin didn’t want any trash left behind at the end of the night. After looking around to make sure she had not forgotten anything, Lucy crossed into the parking lot and headed to her car.

The sun was starting to make its way down, and in the distance she could see a car parked right next to hers that looked vaguely familiar. There was a man standing next to it, and it looked as if he was looking right at her. Lucy said aloud to herself, “Great, I wonder what the hell this guy wants.”
Better not be money,
she thought. The ironic part about that was Lucy actually did help out strangers from time to time. To casual acquaintances, she might appear cold and uncaring, but Lucy had a soft spot for those in need. For some, those types of people seemed to fade into the scenery. But for Lucy, they popped out like vivid 3-D images in a movie.

As she got closer, the vagueness of the man became more evident, and the car she could tell was a black 4Runner. Her mouth went instantly to cotton. She was so nervous she couldn’t tell if it was from fear or excitement. She had no choice. He had already seen her. Her best bet was to just walk right up and act casually.

“Well if it isn’t Cinderella,” Kyle yelled when he thought she was within earshot.

She didn’t say anything, but just kept walking, shifting her load from one arm to the other. When she reached their cars, she smiled as she passed him and headed straight for her back side door. “Hi.”

Kyle followed her and attempted to assist in getting her things into her car. “Let me get that.” He reached for the back door and pulled it open. Lucy set the designs on the edge of the seat, pulled up her purse that had slipped down her shoulder, and slammed the door.

“I’m surprised to see you,” she said, turning around to face him.

“Why, because you forgot to leave me a glass slipper?” he grinned.

He was better looking than she remembered, and his smile was kind of crooked and cute. “Well…yeah.”

She walked around him to the driver’s side door and stood as if she were waiting to get in. She wondered what he could possibly want after being ditched at that party. “So…how’d you find me?”

“That’s it? You take off on me, and then I track you down and that’s all you have to say?” His tone sounded more like a parent than a jilted boyfriend.

“Look, I’m really sorry about the other night. I wasn’t feeling well, so I left.” Instant lying. She hadn’t needed to do it in a while, but it came back easily.

“Is that standard protocol for you? Just take off and don’t say good-bye?” It was obvious to both of them he was just baiting her now.

“I didn’t want to ruin your evening…with your friends.”

Feeling uncomfortable after a few seconds of silence between them, Lucy yanked her keys from her purse, readied the appropriate key for the door, and said, “Thanks for stopping by, but I really have to get going.”

Kyle stepped in close to her and put a hand gently on her arm. “Wait,” he said softly.

She lowered the keys in her hand and pulled her arm away, and instinctively he took a half step back and gave her a reassuring smile.

“I don’t know why, but I really want to see you again,” he said.

“Gee, thanks.”

They both laughed, and she dropped her eyes away from his.

“That came out wrong.” He shook his head and gave a little chuckle. “I just meant—”

She decided to let him off the hook. She didn’t know why he was trying so hard, but he was. “It’s okay, I know what you meant.”

“Could we please give this one more shot? How about next weekend, maybe Friday night? I’d love to take you out to dinner.” He stood just staring at her as if he would wait an eternity for her answer.

Lucy couldn’t figure out why he would bother with her after what happened and the way she acted. At that moment, she didn’t care. All she knew was that this guy with the gleaming white teeth and sparkling blue eyes was being nice to her and wanted to spend time with her. So she opened her purse, took out an old grocery receipt and a pen, and wrote down her number.

“This is my cell,” she said, reaching out with the paper.

“Great!” He reached out to take the paper, grabbing ahold of her hand in the process.

“Why don’t you call me on Wednesday or Thursday and we’ll see about the weekend.” She smiled and pulled her hand out of his. Then she got in her car and started it up, while Kyle was still frozen in his position.

“Bye, Lucy.” He waved as she drove off, holding a foolish grin on his face. When her car was out of the parking lot, he pulled out his cell phone. Staring at the piece of paper, he immediately programmed the number in. He didn’t want to take any chances with losing that paper. Kyle already planned to call her Wednesday after work as he knew he wouldn’t be able to wait for Thursday. In his mind he had already mapped out their date and was looking forward to finding out what this girl was all about.

Could there be anything more humiliating than sitting on that loud, crumply paper, wearing that hideous gown and wondering if it was okay that you left your socks on? It had been nearly three years since Lucy had been to the doctor, and it was all she could do to keep herself from hopping off that table and sliding on out of there in her slippery socks.

Of course she had not received any reminders in the mail about her annual checkup, she told her doctor’s office when she called for an appointment. Given the length of time since she’d been in, and the importance of what was possibly to come, Dr. Carlson insisted on Lucy going in and talking with her about the situation. She would need a full examination in addition to all the tests.

Lucy told Anne and Benny the night before about her sister and that she needed to get tested. Anne offered to drive Lucy to her appointment, and for once, Lucy felt like she wanted to accept an offer for help. The testing itself was no big deal, but the whole idea of what this all meant was just too much to handle alone. In the waiting room, she filled Anne in on some of the details of her family life. Since they had to squeeze her into the schedule, the two had plenty of time to talk. Lucy even let it slip about her possible date with Kyle. Opening up had always been difficult for Lucy, but with all of this mental and emotional stress, she just couldn’t hold it back any longer.

“Oh my God!” Anne whispered and accompanied it with her mini claps. “That’s awesome.”

Lucy took a quick glance around to see if anyone was looking.

“I’m not really sure why I gave him my number. Apparently we went to school together, but I don’t really remember.”

“What’s he like? Is he cute?”

“I guess so.” Lucy shrugged. “I’ll tell you more when or
IF
we go out.”

“If!” Anne said a bit too loudly.

“Shh.” Lucy looked around embarrassed and noticed the nurse standing in the doorway.

“Lucy…Lang,” the nurse announced.

“We’ll talk about this later,” she said quietly as she got up from the chair.

“You’re going!” Anne broadcasted as Lucy walked off.

With the only magazine in the room being a parenting book, Lucy grew bored. She was on her second round of reading the posters on the wall when she suddenly began to appreciate what her sister was going through. The uneasiness she was feeling was nothing compared to what Katie must be enduring. Being in those cold rooms, away from your cozy home, not knowing what was going to happen, worrying about Carly—they were all things Katie had to deal with regularly. Lucy could feel the struggle within her heart. She hoped that one day her feelings of love and concern would win the battle over hurt and anger. She wanted to understand what Katie was going through back then, but she couldn’t. Lucy had never experienced true love, and she certainly didn’t know what it was like to be pregnant. Though she did understand what it was like to be a mother. She could still hear Katie’s words during their final argument before Katie left.

“You’re always trying to fix things! You can’t fix this, Lucy!” Katie had shouted, holding her stomach. “It’s done! And now we’re trying to do the best we can to make it right.”

“I just don’t know if it’s the right decision to leave. I can only help you if you stay.”

“It’s not
your
choice; it’s mine and Rick’s.”

Feeling powerless and hurt, Lucy had said, “Do you even realize the sacrifices I’ve made to take care of you? I should be graduating from college right now, but instead I’m here. I’ve done my best to do what’s right for you, and I’m not going to stop now!”

“I didn’t ask you to be my mother. I have a mother.”

“Yeah? Well where is she? And when was the last time you went to her for something, anyway? I’m the one who helped you with your homework, who talked you through all those tough times at school…and dealing with Mom.”

“Well now I need to start making my own decisions. And maybe if I’m not around, you can finally get a life.” Katie picked up a duffle bag that was sitting on the floor next to the couch. “I’m going to Texas with Rick, and we’re going to have this baby. All I need right now is Rick.” She’d walked out the door and didn’t look back.

Lucy had stood staring at the door. That last comment had been like a knife through her heart. How could she have said Lucy needed to get a life? Katie was her life. She stood, hoping that Katie would come back, but knowing that she wouldn’t. There had been other fights, other times Katie had stormed out, and she always came back. They would both apologize, then share a pint of Cherry Garcia while watching
Gilligan’s Island
. That was Katie’s favorite show, and they had all the old seasons on DVD.

The odd part of that memory was that Lucy had no recollection of where her mother was on that day. Probably because it really hadn’t mattered at that point. All that mattered was that she felt so alone and helpless. A feeling that Lucy hadn’t been able to shake all these years. Nothing had been able to fill the void left by her shattered family.

Now both Lucy and Katie were vulnerable and needed a way out. Lucy had prayed earlier for her sister to make it through this. She had hoped that she could help in some way. Even if she was not a match, she had to do something. Lucy planned to call Katie later that afternoon to let her know she had gone to the doctor. She hoped that just hearing Katie’s voice would make her feel more at ease.

“Good afternoon, Lucy,” Dr. Carlson said as she entered the room holding Lucy’s file. She seemed especially young for a doctor. She had short brown hair that almost looked like a man, yet was very fashionable.

“Hi, Dr. Carlson.”

“Well I’m glad you finally decided to come in. I know this isn’t the best of circumstances, but we’ll take a good look at you first and make sure everything’s okay, and then we’ll run the tests. Sound good?”

“Yep.”

Dr. Carlson sat down in the chair next to Lucy and read the chart results from the nurse’s preliminary checks. “Looks like your blood pressure’s a bit low; nothing to be concerned about.”

Dr. Carlson proceeded with the rest of the exam, including a gynecological exam, during which there was a bit of small talk. She asked Lucy about her sister and preached about the importance of regular checkups for Lucy. Then Dr. Carlson confirmed with Lucy everything they’d be looking for in terms of being a match for Katie. They would need to check blood and tissue type, general health including physical and mental, and of course health of her kidneys. Lucy had received all the information with the kit but didn’t end up reading it all at the time. Talk about not doing your homework. Now she felt incredibly overwhelmed by it all and was concerned about some of the requirements.

“Are you okay, Lucy?” Dr. Carlson asked when she noticed the look on Lucy’s face.

“I’m fine,” Lucy replied. “It’s just a lot of information. I didn’t realize—”

“Are you sure this is what you want to do? It’s a very big decision—there’s a lot to consider.”

“Actually, there’s nothing to consider. I would do absolutely anything to help my sister. If I’m a match, I won’t hesitate at all.”

“That’s nice to hear. I’m sure your sister feels very lucky to have you.”

“I’m not sure about that. We actually haven’t spoken to each other in years.”

“Well, maybe this will bring you back together.” Dr. Carlson smiled at Lucy, closed her file, and stood to leave.

“Can I ask you a question?” Lucy asked a bit hesitantly.

Dr. Carlson simply nodded and gave a, “Mmm-hmm.”

“What if I’m a match, but I haven’t really been taking care of myself for a while? What will happen? I mean, can I still donate?”

“Oh, well you don’t have to be concerned about that now. Why don’t you wait to see what the results show. Anyway, if you are a match, the process could take a while. And if there are some lifestyle changes you can make, Lucy, there’s no reason you shouldn’t start doing that now.”

Lucy nodded as if she were a child being directed by an adult. “Okay.”

“It will just be a minute, and a nurse will take you to another room for some tests,” Dr. Carlson said, moving toward the door. “Take care, Lucy. We’ll see you soon.”