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Hi Liam, just a little thing. I lent my Garfield Sellotape dispenser to your colleague Ms. Pinki Fallon and I understand that she walked out last night. This business can be cruel. Something awful happened to me yesterday too, so I know how it feels to be on the receiving end. Anyway, if you find my dispenser, please can I have it back? It does have sentimental value – office-warming gift from my gran. And maybe you’d like to go for an ale and a moan some time, all chaps together if you know what I mean – Nige.

	Harriet Greenbaum – 1/6/00, 9:38am
to:	Simon Horne
cc:	David Crutton
re:	what have you done?

I told you the blame for the Mako situation must be laid solely at my feet. Given that I’m normally your pet scapegoat, it amazes me that for once you choose to overlook me. The abusive way you dealt with Pinki is a matter for a separate conversation. Of immediate concern, however, is where her departure leaves us with Mako. You know my feelings on your Reeves & Mortimer scripts. Like it or not, we need her campaign as well as her presence to give it the necessary gloss for presentation. For what it’s worth, I suggest you find some grovelling words of contrition that will bring her back to the office before the end of the day. Friday looms.

	Chandra Kapoor – 1/6/00, 9:41am
to:	David Crutton
cc:	Rachel Stevenson
re:	e-mail

I’m sorry about the delay in repairing e-mail but we’ve been up to our necks in virus checks. Then we were waiting for some new
diagnostic equipment. We’re shutting down the server today and hopefully then the problem will be solved. Thanks for your patience.

	David Crutton – 1/6/00, 9:42am
to:	Chandra Kapoor
cc:
re:	e-mail

“Hopefully” doesn’t cut it with me.

	Susi Judge-Davis – 1/6/00, 9:43am
to:	Simon Horne
cc:
re:	are you in there?

Simon darling, the temporary polythene sheet is pulled over your doorway and I can’t work out if you are in or not. I thought I saw movement but I’m not sure. If you are, please can I speak to you? Pinki wants to come in and clear her desk tonight – is this OK and should I have security escort her? David needs to talk to you. So does Harriet. So does Rachel. So does Melinda. And Liam is demanding to see you and he’s being very uncouth about it . . . Sx

	David Crutton – 1/6/00, 9:50am
to:	Simon Horne
cc:
bcc:	Harriet Greenbaum
re:	Pinki

I happen to agree with Harriet. While I couldn’t really give a fuck about our (ex-?) copywriter’s trampled pride, an obsequious apology is the only practical course of action. Harriet merely suggested this. I am mandating it.

	Susi Judge-Davis – 1/6/00, 9:53am
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
bcc:	Rachel Stevenson
re:	today

Since you left early yesterday with a “headache,” it has been chaos and I have had to cope alone. I hope you are better this morning. When you finally arrive, see me as I have lots I need to delegate – I have to be here for Simon right now.

Incidentally, when you start with David on Monday, perhaps you should warn him that you are prone to “headaches.” Have you thought about glasses? I’m just looking out for you, Zoë. I want you to succeed in your new position. And maybe you and I should have a chat about the wardrobe of an executive PA? I don’t mind at all. – Susi.

	David Crutton – 1/6/00, 9:56am
to:	Rachel Stevenson
cc:
re:	problems

Don’t we have a man who deals with these things?

	Melinda Sheridan – 1/6/00, 10:03am
to:	Simon Horne
cc:
re:	Very Worried of Television

At the Atlantic last night my friend congratulated me on clinching Quentin T. for Kimbelle – she goes out with a suit from Miramax so she should know. Why won’t this go away? Do tell your Auntie Melinda.

	James Gregory – 1/6/00, 10:07am
to:	Daniel Westbrooke
cc:
re:	early warning