e (24 page)

Just to let you know that I’ll be departing for the Wessex in a moment, if anyone would like to join me in reception for the short walk there. And to
they who must be obeyed
, I will not be silenced and I leave with my head held high – Nige

	David Crutton – 1/5/00, 6:01 pm
to:	Simon Horne
cc:
re:	Mako

Don’t ask me how it ended up here but I have some new Mako work on my coffee table. I think it’s rather good. Would you like to see what your department gets up to when you’re butt-naked and barely conscious on your sofa?

	Rachel Stevenson – 1/5/00, 6:03pm
to:	Nigel Godley
cc:
re:	DRINKS

Nigel, this is probably too late to catch you at your PC, but I must stress that nobody is firing you, or even contemplating doing so. My earlier e-mail was merely a gentle hint to go easy on the system. It seems to have had the opposite effect of making your “send” button busier than ever. I’ll keep quiet in future. In the meantime, I trust you’ll be at your desk in the morning.

	Simon Horne – 1/5/00, 6:22pm
to:	Pinki Fallon
cc:	Harriet Greenbaum
bcc:	David Crutton
re:	Mako

I have just seen your sidekick, O’Keefe, sneak out of the building like the weasel he is, but perhaps you could grace me with your presence.

I would like an explanation as to why a campaign for Mako has made it all the way to the Chief Executive’s office without passing even vaguely close to the quality control system.

Namely, me.

Clearly the account director has a case to answer and I will be taking up the matter with her in due course.

However, Pinki, I find your part in this grubby business a far more personal betrayal.

It was I who hired you.

It is I who has stood by you despite numerous office hours visits to London’s ragbag collection of quacks.

One thing I will expand on in the conversation we are about to have is how I can just as easily end our working relationship.

Si

	Harriet Greenbaum – 1/5/00, 6:26pm
to:	Simon Horne
cc:	David Crutton
bcc:	Pinki Fallon Liam O’Keefe
re:	hold your horses

Simon, before you do something regrettable with the best asset in your department, can I try to straighten this out? If you recall, we were promised a review with you on Mako this afternoon. When I tried to pin you down you weren’t available. I appreciate that you have been snowed under with Coke, but it isn’t the only brief on your desk with a heavy priority on it. Unlike Coke, Mako is a real client paying real salaries and we are under severe pressure to deliver.
Given your inaccessibility, I took it upon myself to look at Pinki and Liam’s work and then take it on to David. If you have a problem, have it out with me.

However, I believe our time would be better spent discussing the comparative merits of the Reeves and Mortimer campaign and the new work, which both David and I feel is very strong indeed.

	Pinki Fallon – 1/5/00, 6:58pm
to:	Harriet Greenbaum
cc:
re:	hold your horses

Harriet, I just read your e. Thanks for sticking up for us, but it’s too late. Simon was a pig just now. When he used the “c” word I couldn’t take any more and resigned. I’ve had enough of trying to be helpful and being treated like shit in return – excuse my language. I’m going to see if Liam is in Bar Zero now. Call me at home tomorrow. I’ll miss you . . . 

	Simon Horne – 1/5/00, 6:59pm
to:	David Crutton
cc:
re:	small problem

David, if you’re still here I need to see you urgently.

I have just had to fire Pinki.

As I will explain, her outrageous behaviour gave me no option.

I am on my way up to you now.

Si

	Nigel Godley – 1/5/00, 11:36pm
to:	All Departments
cc:
re:	still here!!!!

I popped back to clear the knick-knacks from my desk and it seems I still have a job. Just goes to show that when you display a bit of
good old British pluck
the powers that be
back down, eh? So I may as well stick around for a bit – these invoices won’t file themselves. Any other workers still around, join me for a cuppa.

Nige

P.S. On my return I found some lady’s underthings by the lift door in reception. They’re size 12, emerald green, 100% polyester with a lacy panel at the front, slightly soiled. If they belong to anyone, they’re tucked safely in my drawer. Please feel free to collect.