Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (19 page)

Display follow-through in meeting obligations?

Show respect toward authority?

Have a positive outlook on life?

Exercise discipline and self-control?

Manage money well?

Maintain eye contact when talking with people?

Interact courteously with others?

Have an active Bible study and prayer life?

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’”

(1 C
ORINTHIANS
15:33).

Dating can be an exciting adventure of the heart leading to marriage, but hearts are fragile and should be treated with care. Protect your heart because it belongs to God first, then you. When a dating friendship grows into a love relationship, your heart still belongs to God, but you also place it in someone else’s hands. So it is critical to:

Be Wise
. Ask the Lord to…

— guide your decision to date.

— guide the decisions of your date.

— guard your heart, mind, body, and soul during the dating process.

— confirm your choices with His peace as you date. (If you don’t have His peace about the person you are dating, don’t go out with that person again.)

Be Safe
. You deserve to be treated well and to be safe.

— Allow trusted friends, family, and coworkers to introduce you to someone who shares your beliefs and interests.

— When you begin to date, spend time together with a group as you get to know each other.

— Meet in public places as you build trust and observe character. (If you do not respect the character of the one you are dating, then don’t go out with that person again.)

Be Real
. Just as you want to get to know the person you are dating, be honest and real with your date.

Be Honest
. Talk to your date about what you don’t enjoy or appreciate.

— Don’t “go along with whatever” just because it’s what your date wants.

— Don’t cave in to peer pressure. Be willing to say no when you know you should say no. (If you respectfully speak the truth, in the end, you will earn respect.)

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind”

(R
OMANS
12:2).

Don’t
focus on romance.

Do
focus on cultivating a solid friendship.

Don’t
lie if you don’t want to accept a date.

Do
be under the authority of your parents (if living at home).

Don’t
confuse lust for love.

Do
reflect Christian values on your dates.

Don’t
date non-Christians.

Do
trust God’s plan for your life.

Don’t
wait to determine your standards.

Do
become a good and honorable date.

Remember that your identity is not to be lost in someone else. You can be joined to another and still be a separate person. You are
one
person, and one is not a fraction—it is a
whole
number. You are complete in Jesus Christ.

Put God in charge of the timing and pace of your dating life. Consider making this the prayer of your heart:

Heavenly Father…

— I will refuse to be desperate to find someone to date.

— I will wait on Your timing and person to date.

— I will not lower my criteria as I evaluate a prospective date.

— I will use this time to listen intently for Your voice to lead me.

— I will focus on what I
do
have, not what I
don’t
have.

— I will be grateful for Your unconditional love for me.

— I will remember that I am
not
alone, unloved, or forgotten.

— I will not put my life on hold until I begin to date.

— I will look for ways that I can bless others.

“I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me”