Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (18 page)

—
Help the person see
that polarized black-and-white thinking was the breeding ground for his or her initial cult involvement. The initial teachings of a cult must contain some grains of truth, or no one would be drawn into it.

—
Help the person list
ten important lessons he or she has learned as a result of his or her cult experience.

“Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires”

(J
AMES
1:20).

To dispel taboos—
the ex-cult member’s attitudes and beliefs can still be in bondage to the cult’s taboos.

—
Regarding the physical body

Ask, “Since God created our physical bodies and He called everything He created ‘very good,’ do you think it wise to agree with those who say our bodies are bad (or mere illusions)?”

“God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’…God saw all that he had made, and it was very good”

(G
ENESIS
1:26,31).

—
Regarding sex

Say, “God created the marriage covenant, and He also created sexual intimacy for bonding in marriage. Do you think it wise to be against what God chooses to bless?”

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh”

(G
ENESIS
2:24;
READ ALSO
1 C
ORINTHIANS
7:3-5).

—
Regarding exclusion of certain foods

Ask, “Since the New Testament repealed the dietary law and Jesus declared ‘all foods clean,’ do you really think it wise to place human teaching above God’s teaching?” (Read Mark 7:19; Acts 10:11-16; Colossians 2:16.)

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery”

(G
ALATIANS
5:1).

To decrease insecurity
—ex-cult members usually feel as though they are living in a goldfish bowl and that the eyes of all the family are on them.

—
Let go
of overprotective behavior even though your heart still fears that your loved one may return to the cult.

—
Initiate
the subject and ask, “Before you joined the cult, did you feel smothered and in need of a safe place to escape?”

—
Ask
, “Now what can I do differently that would be meaningful to you?”

“The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out”

(P
ROVERBS
20:5).

To direct aimlessness
—when a cult member finally leaves a group that seemed to have all the answers, finding purpose in life can present a huge internal battle.

—
Help the person establish
a purpose for living.

“Let’s make a short list of God’s purposes for your life. Let’s especially look at your God-given responsibilities.”

—
Help the person establish
future-oriented goals, both short-term and long-term.

“Let’s list a few six-month goals and five-year goals to help you fulfill each of these purposes.”

—
Help the person establish
priorities.

“Let’s make a plan with action steps for you to accomplish your goals. What do you think should come first?”

—
Help the person establish
a Christ-centered spiritual family.

“Let’s establish some criteria and set a goal for finding a healthy, Bible-believing church. I would enjoy helping you find a safe and supportive family of believers.”

“Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds”

(H
EBREWS
10:24).

Bank tellers learn to spot counterfeits not by studying fake bills but by continually handling real bills.

The best deterrent from being deceived by a cult is knowing biblical doctrine: It’s easy to detect the false when you know the true.

—JH

2 Timothy 2:15

Proverbs 16:25

Proverbs 30:5-6

Ephesians 2:8-9

John 1:3,14

Proverbs 19:2

Hebrews 9:27

John 14:6

Matthew 7:15

For additional guidance on this topic, see also
Codependency, Crisis Intervention, Hope, Identity, Occult, Salvation
.

F
or some, dating is daunting…and for others, it’s downright fun. It provides interaction with the opposite sex and the opportunity to come into contact with potential marriage partners. But dating is as much about you as it is your dating prospects, and serves as an ideal time for developing Christlike character and preparing you for a lifelong marriage commitment.

But there is a “ditch of dating.” Nothing can soil a pure dating relationship like immorality—and its consequences can make for a steep climb out of the ditch.

“So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate”

(M
ATTHEW
19:6).

Place a check mark (√) beside each character trait present within the person you feel drawn to date.

Does your prospective date…

Demonstrate wisdom and discernment?

Have a heart to do what is best for you?

Possess a sensitive conscience in regard to right and wrong?

Refuse to use you or others to gain status?

Have the approval of the significant people in your life?

Have a reputation of keeping commitments?