Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (52 page)

Analyze the reason for your fear, and let the Lord help you heal from your hurts.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you”

(1 P
ETER
5:6-7).

A
Avoidance of Threatening Situations

—
Refusing to face fears:

“I think it will go away in time.”

“I believe I can avoid fearful situations.”

—
Giving no opportunity for change:

“I don’t seek help or talk to anyone.”

“I don’t try to figure out why I am fearful.”

—
Continuing to reinforce fears:

“Everything I do is contingent on my fearfulness.”

“I don’t go anywhere that might raise my anxiety level.”

—
Reinforcing negative thought patterns:

“Fear dominates all my decisions.”

“I evaluate everything through the filter of fear.”

Analyze the reason for your fear, and let the Lord help you face your fears.

“I am the L
ORD
, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you”

(I
SAIAH
41:13).

R
Runaway Imagination

—
Expecting life to be threatening:

“I always expect resistance and roadblocks.”

“I always expect danger and disaster.”

—
Anticipating the worst will happen:

“I expect rejection and ridicule.”

“I expect hurt and heartache.”

—
Believing you can never change:

“I think I will always be controlled by fear forever.”

“I think God can’t help me.”

—
Thinking you have no control over the situation:

“I feel overwhelmed when I have fear.”

“I feel powerless when I have fear.”

Analyze the reason for your fear, and change your thought life.

“Whatever is true…noble…right…pure…lovely… admirable… excellent…praiseworthy—think about such things”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:8).

Memorize Isaiah 41:10:

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

If you are overly sensitive to an object or situation, “desensitization” can be the key that opens the door to freedom. Systematically repeat each of the following steps one at a time. Repeat the same step day after day for a week or two, or until you no longer have a strong emotional reaction, then move on to the next step. Anxiety should be expected when moving to the next step, but it will dissipate as the step is done with increased repetition.

Example of a specific phobia:
fear of elevators

— Stand near an elevator and watch people get on and off.

— Push the button,
as if
getting ready to step inside.

— Step inside when others are not around. Hold the “Door Open” button, count to five, and step out.

— Step inside again (when others aren’t around). Hold the “Door Open” button, count to ten, then step out.

— Step inside, ride to only one floor, then exit.

— Ride to two floors, then three…eventually all the way up and down for ten minutes.

A supportive person can be present for each step, initially also doing the activity—then later not participate, but remain present to encourage and praise.

Example of a social phobia:
fear of initiating conversation

— Practice asking a salesperson questions.

— Initiate saying hello with a smile.

— Listen carefully to what is said by others.

— Ask simple questions of others about themselves.

— Make brief comments about yourself.

— Develop a genuine interest in others.

Example of agoraphobia:
fear of a panic attack (fear in open spaces)

— Open the front door and leave it open.

— Stand at the open doorway for as long as possible.

— Go out the door and stand on the porch—breathe deeply.

— Walk down the sidewalk to the edge of your property.

— Walk around the outside of your house.

— Sit in the car while it is in the driveway.

— Have someone drive you around the block.

— Drive yourself around the block.

— Go to the mall and sit in your car in the parking lot.

— Go to the mall when it is not too crowded and walk around.

— Go into a store and greet a sales clerk.

— Make a small purchase.

Each step of the way, say, “The L
ORD
is with me; I will not be afraid” (Psalm 118:6). Personalize Deuteronomy 31:6 with “I, my, me”:

“Be strong and courageous. [I will be strong.] Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, [I will not be afraid] for the L
ORD
your God goes with you [goes with me]; he will never leave you nor forsake you [never leave me nor forsake me].”

The Lord wants to lead you out of fear and into faith, trusting in His strong, protective hand rather than the flimsy refuge of your fear-lined ditch walls. The path to recovery begins with focusing on the Lord rather than the object of your fear. Then peace, not panic, will rule your life.

Verse 1: “The L
ORD
is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.”

Imagine a grassy pasture in which the Lord is with you. Slowly say five times, “The Lord is my Shepherd.” Each time you say that, emphasize a different word:

The
Lord is my Shepherd.

The
Lord
is my Shepherd.

The Lord
is
my Shepherd.

The Lord is
my
Shepherd.

The Lord is my
Shepherd
.

Verse 2: “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.”

Imagine yourself lying down beside a calm pool of water.

Verse 3: “He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

Take several deep breaths and slowly say five times, “My Shepherd restores my soul.” Each time you say that, emphasize a different word:

My
Shepherd restores my soul.

My
Shepherd
restores my soul.

My Shepherd
restores
my soul.

My Shepherd restores
my
soul.

My Shepherd restores my
soul
.

Verse 4: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Realize that you are not trapped. Slowly say, “I will fear no evil…the Lord is with me.” Repeat five times.

Verse 5: “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.”

Each time emphasize a different word:

The
Lord is my Protector.

The
Lord
is my Protector.

The Lord
is
my Protector.

The Lord is
my
Protector.

The Lord is my
Protector
.

Verse 6: “Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the L
ORD
forever.”

Thank the Lord for the way He will use each fearful situation for
good
in your life.

Note:
For serious phobic reactions, the process of desensitization is almost always used in combination with medical help.

If you focus on your fear, your panic will increase.
If you focus on your faith, your heart will be at peace.

—JH

Psalm 34:4

1 Peter 5:6-7

Psalm 27:1

Deuteronomy 31:8

Isaiah 41:10

Psalm 91:5

Romans 13:3

1 John 4:18

Psalm 23:1-4

Philippians 4:7

For additional guidance on this topic, see also
Childhood Sexual Abuse, Cults, Depression, Domestic Violence, Fear, Guilt, Hope, Identity, Rejection, Self-worth, Stress Management, Suicide Prevention, Victimization, Worry
.

Y
ou’re pregnant
. Those two words can thrill…signaling a time for celebration, or they can chill…sending a wave of panic throughout the ditch of dire desperation. The mind of a woman faced with an unplanned pregnancy can start spinning with options—adoption, parenting, or abortion—and out of desperation and loneliness, a choice can be made that will bring tragic consequences. This woman needs to be affirmed of God’s unconditional love, His constant presence,
and His plan for the one who was unplanned: