Conviction (Consolation Duet #2) (12 page)

“I’ll have my parents watch Aarabelle and round everyone up.” I place my hand on his forearm. “I’m genuinely happy for you.”

He smiles down at me. “Thanks, Lee.” Jackson kisses my cheek and then nudges my arm. “I’m gonna grab Cat and head there.”

I nod and watch him walk off. My eyes drift to Liam who’s looking at me. Our gazes stay connected, and I suddenly wish we were that happy. He’s the man I want to come home to, wake up next to, and fall asleep with, but for some reason he’s trying to be noble.

Jackson and Catherine walk off to the beach while I head over to our friends. Mark, Ashton, Quinn, and Liam all look over as I approach. “Did Jackson fill you all in?” I ask, and they nod. Liam looks away for the first time, and my anger builds at his dismissal. “Okay, I’m going to change my shoes.”

“Are you sure you want to walk on the beach in that dress?” Liam asks seemingly annoyed.

I smile at the fact that my plan is working. “Yup. I’m
very
comfortable.”

“Glad someone is,” he mutters under his breath.

Mark and Quinn give each other a look and slap each other on the chest. Apparently, they notice his crappy attitude.

I climb the stairs and check on Aaron. He’s sound asleep and for once not thrashing around. I decide not to wake him and grab my shoes. Liam is waiting at the bottom of the stairs. I stop on the bottom step and have to restrain myself from either leaping into his arms or slapping him again.

“You can’t be mad at me because you don’t like your decision.”

Liam steps closer and we’re eye to eye. “I don’t like the situation. This is fucking impossible.”

“What is?”

“Not touching you,” his hand lifts and he holds my cheek. “Not talking to you,” he keeps me captivated with his voice. “Not kissing you,” Liam leans in and our lips are almost touching. “Is it killing you, Lee?”

I don’t answer. I hold my ground for a second before I can’t hold back any longer. My lips press against his and I melt. His arms drop, he grips my hips, holding me tight as my arms wrap around his neck. I won’t let go . . . I can’t let go. I need him to fill my lungs and awaken me again. There’s a house full of people, but right now there’s no one else but us. His lips mold to mine and our tongues meet. Liam pushes me back against the wall, hiding us from anyone’s view. He kisses me languidly, and I find myself in his touch.

Someone clears their throat, and we break apart. I look over at Reanell who has her hands on her hips. “At least find a spare room.” She shakes her head and walks away.

“We should go,” I say, feeling conflicted. He tilts back against the railing, wipes his mouth, which smears the lipstick even worse. “You have lipstick on your face,” I say moving closer. I wipe his mouth, relishing the way his lip feels against my finger. The smell of his cologne filters around us.

He grips my wrist before it drops, “I won’t lose you.”

“You’re damn right you won’t.”

Liam releases my arm, takes my hand in his, as we head toward the lighthouse. Everyone is ahead of us, and I savor the fact that we’re alone. Neither of us fills the silence, we just walk hand in hand. Liam’s thumb rubs the back of my hand, giving me comfort in his touch. Once we’re out of view of my home, he drags me close, and wraps his arm around my waist. He pulls me tight against him, and dips me back. I watch his blue eyes shimmer as his mouth slowly moves toward mine.

Our lips touch and there’s no rush. He kisses me like I’m a treasure in his arms. He cradles my head as he holds his mouth to mine. I could stay like this forever.

Liam pulls me back but keeps his arms wrapped around me. “I’m sorry.”

“For kissing me?”

We start to walk again and I wait for my answer. “No, sweetheart. For how this is for all of us. I hate that you’re hurting and that I’m hurting you. The deployment got pushed up.”

I stop moving. “You’re leaving sooner?” I thought we had another week or two. Time to mend a little, or at least find a better resolution than him stepping aside so my husband can have a go at this.

“Yeah, I got the call earlier today. We leave in three days.” Liam’s voice is resolute. You can tell he’s going into what we call deployment mode. They close off the world around them and start to focus on the mission.

The lighthouse is within view, and I still can’t respond. My mind is going a mile a minute with how to handle this. Liam stops me before we reach everyone else. “I want to see you before I go.”

I nod with tears in my eyes. “I’m going to miss you.”

Liam gives a sad smile, but before he can respond, Quinn whistles us over.

We head toward our friends right as Jackson and Catherine exit the lighthouse. Catherine is smiling, and then she sees us and her face falls in confusion.

She looks back to Jackson as he drops to his knee. I watch with tear-filled eyes as she clutches her chest.

“Catherine Pope, you’ve given me more love in the last two years than I’ve ever known. You taught me how to love again, how to be a better man, and how to forgive myself. I want to spend every day of my life making you happy. I will cherish you, protect you, annoy you.” She laughs as tears fall down her cheek. “I’ll give you everything you could ever want. Will you marry me?” Jackson’s voice is full of promise, and we all stand with smiles and love for them.

He’s gone through a lot of hell to get here, and I have faith I’ll survive just like he has.

Catherine falls to her knees and grips his face. “I will marry you today if you want.”

He holds her close and kisses her passionately. Jackson leans back and places the diamond on her finger and wipes her tears. “Tomorrow we leave for Hawaii.”

She laughs and he pulls her close. “Always so damn sure of yourself.”

“You can’t resist me, baby.” Jackson smirks and kisses her again.

We all join in their joy and hug the happy couple. Ashton squeals over the ring and the guys joke with him about losing his touch. I stand off to the side sharing stolen glances with Liam.

Fear that he won’t make it home consumes me, but more than ever, I’m terrified we won’t make it back to each other. There’s so much at stake for both of us, and six months is a long time. Part of me understands his need for a break, but I worry it will be too much.

Liam walks over after the group disperses. “Do you want to walk with me?”

“Sure,” I reply.

“I don’t know how this works, Lee. If Aaron weren’t here, I would be with you on my last night. I would make love to you and—”

“Don’t,” I lift my hand to stop him. “Don’t tell me how you would be doing things if he wasn’t alive. Because you could be doing them now, but you don’t believe me. I chose you. I came to you and told you.”

“And he’s living in the house. What do you want—family dinners? I’m doing the right thing by staying away. I’m giving you
both
a chance to figure out what the fuck you want.”

“He’s moving out soon, but I can’t just throw him out. He’s Aarabelle’s father. Jesus, he’s been tortured and God only knows what. It’s our home,” I try to explain to him. This isn’t easy on me or him, but Aaron has it the worst. Sure, he screwed up and there’s no going back, and at the same time I can’t be cruel. I know Liam isn’t asking for that, but I’m at a loss here.

“Your home with him. Do you get it now? It’s not our home. It’s the home you made with him. Where you share a child. Where I would come crash for the night on the couch when I would visit while you two did whatever upstairs. I’m always the outsider.”

I turn and fire burns through my veins. “I think you want to believe that. It’s easier for you to walk away this way. Make me the bad guy so you can deploy and carry out your life without having to worry about me. I’m not the bad guy here. None of us are. Aaron is moving out soon. He wanted to give me and Aara some space so we can adjust and figure out a life.”

“Did he tell you he’d let you go?” Liam fires off.

“No.”

“I’ll never know for sure, Natalie. I’ll always wonder if you really loved me or if I was just the consolation prize. So take the six months and figure it out. Know that no matter what, when I get back I’ll be hoping you’re there. If you are, I’ll marry you. I’ll do anything you want to prove how much I want you.”

My heart rate quickens, and I wait for him to say more.

“This isn’t about me fighting for you. I know you keep saying I’m giving you up, but I’m not. I’ll never stop hoping you’ll still choose me when this is all over. I just can’t watch you decide. I see the way he looks at you. He’s made it clear he wants you back. I never wanted to lose you in the first place.”

I grip his shirt and pull myself to him. “You never will.”

“I hope that’s true. You have no idea how much I want that to be the case.”

“Have faith in us, Liam.”

He presses his lips to the top of my head. “I do, sweetheart. I just need a minute.”

Liam walks me back to the party with his hands in his pockets. Both of us keep our heads down. I don’t know how I’ll endure six months of not knowing. But I do have faith in us, and I won’t let that falter. I have to make him believe me. As we approach the deck, Aaron is standing there watching us.

“Hey.” He looks at both of us and guilt eats at me. “I woke up and your mom said you all headed to the lighthouse.”

“Yeah, I came upstairs but you were asleep. Jackson proposed to Catherine and he asked us all to come,” I explain, hoping he’ll drop it.

He looks toward the ocean. “Where’s everyone else?”

“They’re coming. Do you feel better?”

Aaron looks at Liam with hate in his eyes. “I did until now.”

“Stop it,” I chastise him. “I’ve been honest with you. I’m not sneaking behind your back and doing God knows what while we were still married. I’m not keeping half truths or secrets.”

“I thought you would give us time before you moved in on her again?”

Liam steps forward, pushing me behind him protectively. “I wish you’d seen the wife you love so much when she found out about your girlfriend. The pain in her eyes, the way she cried and then drank herself stupid. Or maybe you could’ve seen the way she wanted to kill Brittany after she found out about her pregnancy. My word means something to her . . . does yours?”

I never told Aaron about the baby. I wanted to see if he was really lying about his relationship with Brittany.
So much for that plan.

Liam stares Aaron down, and I push him back, but he doesn’t budge.

“What?” Aaron asks.

“You didn’t tell him?” Liam turns to me with his jaw slack.

The blood drains from my face leaving me colorless. As much as I wanted to not mention the baby because I wanted him to tell me, I also didn’t want to acknowledge it. Aaron and I had a host of fertility issues, but the main one was me. I have PCOS, therefore I was the biggest contributing factor. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome causes my hormones to constantly be unbalanced and renders me practically infertile. My doctor explained even if I could get pregnant, I needed to be aware I was very high risk.

“I didn’t know how,” I mutter.

“Lee, look at me.” Aaron steps forward, and my heart begins to sputter. It hurts all over again.

Liam’s eyes implore me to tell Aaron. “Acknowledging the baby to him is a reminder that it’s me who couldn’t have a baby. I didn’t want to face that so soon.”

He nods and then I turn to Aaron. “I know it all. I know about your relationship you keep telling me is nothing. And I know about the baby you and your girlfriend were having.” I look at the now practically empty home except for my parents and Reanell. “Now’s the time to be brutally honest because there’s nothing that can hurt me more at this point.” Aaron sits on the step and now I wait.

“I think this is something you and I should discuss privately.”

I half laugh. “I didn’t get that luxury finding out. I had to be in a crowded bar with all of our friends when I found out that you, the man I would’ve never imagined, cheated. I had to stand there and have her tell me about how much she loved you. And while you may not have loved her the way she did, I saw her pain.” My voice is low, but he cringes.

“All I could think about was you,” he says, not fully admitting what he did. “So you’re going to throw it all away? Our whole life?”

And there it is. For the first time, he’s not denying or circumventing how deep their relationship was. “Did you know she was pregnant?”

“Yes,” Aaron says, barely audible.

No matter how much I love Liam, this still hurts. Aaron wasn’t just some guy. He was my partner and the one person who promised to love me and honor me. I was guilt-ridden after he was gone about having any kind of feelings for another man.

“So was all of what you said a lie? Were you in love with her?” I ask him unsure if it matters at this point.

Aaron stands, and Liam’s arms hold my shoulders from behind. Here I am between them both. “No, I loved her. It wasn’t even an inch of the love I have for you. Being held over there reminded me of that. I made vows and promises to God and anyone who would listen about the man I’d be when I came home,” he says looking straight into my eyes. “I love you, Natalie. I always have and I always will.”