Zenith Fulfilled (16 page)

He pushed off from the railing, obviously ready to leave. “I gotta go.”

“Friend waiting for you again?”

He
stopped dead,  then turned and smiled at her, a cocky, sexy smile. Her heart skipped a beat. Did that happen anytime to her in the last decade? “Something like that.”

“
Do you have a lot of friends?”

He stared at her, catching her gaze and holding it. “Nah. I never could enjoy a lot of friends at once.”

She stopped breathing as he broke eye contact, and started to step away. She jumped up towards him, moved by something that kept drawing her nearer him. She put her hand out on his arm, right above his elbow, over the thick swirl of tattoos. His skin felt warm and silky to her fingers.

He stopped dead at her touch and turned slowly. His eyes reflected
the lights shining from her living room. She pressed her lips together, and tried to think of something mundane and trivial to say.
Thanks for coming. Thanks for staying for dinner. Something.
But nothing came out of her mouth. Instead, she tightened her fingers around his arm since that’s all she could seem to comprehend. This was not a good idea. It was a terrible idea. He wasn’t someone to tangle with. He wasn’t someone trustworthy, nice or respectable. He was Rob Williams. Former addict. Former musician. Former everything. But it had been so long since she felt that kind of inner burning, tingling all through her body. And its source was literally at her fingertips. She should have moved her hand away before now; but instead, she slid her fingertips down the length of his arm towards his hand, over more tattoos, that practically screamed how opposite they were.

Suddenly, his hand came up
and grabbed hers. Not in a gentle lover’s hold, but more in an angry “get your hands off me” grasp. His mouth tightened and his eyes narrowed down at hers. “Quit looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m suddenly a good idea for you.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” she said, still staring into his eyes.

“You know exactly what I mean. Don’t play timid with me; remember: I don’t buy it, Rebecca.”

She tried to yank her hand from his vise-like grip.

He was still looking at her though, and she quit moving. He swore.

“Don’t for a moment think this is a good idea,” he said
as he pulled her towards him. His hands came to her waist, then his lips were on hers, warm and aggressive. He kissed her as he did everything else, hot and hard. His head bent down as his lips moved over hers, wet, warm and soft. Her heart felt like it was going to explode in her chest with the sudden heat and excitement coursing through her. It had been so long. Years even, since she was kissed like this. By a man. By a hot, aroused, demanding man.

One
of his hands moved to the back of her head, anchoring it while his head tilted and his lips moved over hers with a thoroughness that took her breath away. Her heart started racing as her body practically convulsed in response.

His mouth tasted like cigaret
tes. It was thick on his breath and tongue and should have repelled her. Disgusted her. Turned her off. Instead, it only excited her more. The very wrongness of it only enhanced the very wrongness of whom she was kissing.

And that seemed to be the point.

He pushed her backwards, stepping forward until she bumped into her front door. He pressed her against it, his body surrounding hers. His leg went between her legs, and his other hand came up to her hair, brushing through it with a tenderness that was so at odds with the heat of everything else. Her nerve endings were ablaze, turned on in a way she couldn’t ever remember feeling. Not since she was eighteen. Her breasts suddenly ached for his hands to touch them, and release the soreness building inside them. Inside her. She was wet and hot all at once. His tongue was in her mouth. Then hers was in his. Oh God, it was like nothing she’d done in
years
.

He kissed her and kissed her. His leg pressed between her legs and she let it. It helped relieve the sudden pressure there. She felt his arousal, as hot as hers, pressing against her body.
His hands moved restlessly on her back, and the heat of his palms left her tingling everywhere. She felt his touch on her skin, but the effect went everywhere inside her. His hand moved to the edge of her t-shirt and his fingertips played with it, until he touched her bare skin. She sighed against his mouth. Then he slid his hands over her shorts, her ass, and her legs wobbled at the sharp, hot feelings. His slid his hand up her bare leg, near the inside of her thighs, and she groaned out loud. She was nearly rendered unable to think from the incessant buzzing of her arousal. She was only aware of his tongue, his hands, and his body all around her. She almost begged him to touch her, and let him finish what he started inside her.

She could feel the straining of his arm, and knew he wanted to touch her. She shifted, letting him know exactly what she wanted.
He groaned out loud. “Not here,” he mumbled.

“Right here,” she said, nearly incoherently.

Then it was as if her life was finally making sense. His hand came inside her, into the hot moist tightening of her body. She could hardly hold herself up, it felt so good as his fingers gave her magical relief from the aching, painful pressure that was torturing her. Her skin turned hot with sweat. His tongue come deeply into her mouth as his hand entered her fully. He hardly touched her before her body was contracting around him, in the tight, fierce orgasm that ripped through her like a cyclone.

She almost cried out
no
, when his hand moved, sliding down her leg, coming chastely to her waist. His mouth lifted off hers, and his other hand came up and grabbed one of her hands, which was clinging to his shoulders. 

“Jesus
, Rebecca,” he finally said with a groan.

She shifted, unwilling to believe he was stopping. Not now. Not when she was so obviously willing.

“Come inside with me.”

His breathing was ragged, but he finally shook his head.
“I was thinking the same thing right here until I remembered three little girls upstairs sleeping. I can’t do this. Not like this. Here. Not with them up there. It’s not right. This isn’t right. You don’t mean this.”

“What if I do mean this? That’s what scares you more th
an doing it, isn’t it?”

“You’re lonely. I’m here.”

“I’m not that lonely. I know who is here with me.”

“You’re lonely,” he insisted, as he drew back from her.

“So what if I am? You’re going to tell me you’re not? I don’t think I’ve ever met a lonelier person than you.”

“I have friends.”

“I don’t doubt you have sex. I said, you’re lonely, for company, understanding. For more.”

“I have to go,” he said suddenly,
his eyes shutting her down. That quickly, he cut her off. This was so unexpected, unplanned and intense. But it was so good. Great. No way did she regret it.

“You can’t run from me
, Rob. You’re going to have to see me again.”

He shook his head. “What don’t you get? You need to run away from me. I’ll use and abuse you. I’m warning you right now of that. If you don’t listen, that’s on you, isn’t it?”

“It is. You have some kind of delusional thinking going on here. Just because I’ve had children doesn’t change how much I like and need to have sex.”

He scowled
at her. Good God, he didn’t like hearing her say “sex.” He stepped back. “Glad to know you’re so open about it.”

“Well
, I’m not quite as embarrassed as you are.”

“I’m not embarrassed.”

“You’re scared shitless of me, Rob, and you know it.”

“I’m nothing towards you, and that’s what you’ve got to accept.”

She held his dark, scowling look for a long moment. Then she smiled with a sunny wave and turned towards her door, saying, “Run, Rob. Run as far as you need to tonight. Go to your friend. Just know one thing: this isn’t over. This isn’t anywhere near done.”

Rob came home from work and nearly kept driving when he saw the red mini-van parked in his driveway. He cursed as he pulled his pickup to the side of the house. He came around his garage to the front stoop where Rebecca was sitting. She stood up at his approach, and brushed off her black pants. She wore low, black heels, dressy, black pants, and a dark leather jacket belted around her waist. Her curls were styled around her face, with more care than usual. They stayed put when she moved her head, and didn’t bounce everywhere as they normally did.                      

“You haven’t called me back,” she said, when he was within hearing distance.

He dug his keys out of his pocket. “Then take a hint.” He moved past her without looking at her again.

She sighed behind him
. “You’re being stupid about this.”

“About what? Maybe I don’t want to do your book anymore.”

“No. That we nearly did it against my front door.”

His key missed the lock, so startled was he by her candid comment.

“It’s been over a week and you’ve ignored about five phone calls I’ve made to you.”

“Like I said, take the hint.”

She laughed. Instead, of stomping away in huff, she laughed at his insensitive brush-off to her.

“
It’s not like I can make you sleep with me. Just say no. But you are going to have to talk to me. We’re doing business together still, aren’t we?”

He finally got his front door unlocked.

“You’re at least going to let me in, aren’t you?” she asked from behind him.

“Where are your kids?”

“Two are at a friend’s house they went to after school, and Karlee’s visiting one of my sisters. I had some business nearby, that’s why I’m in town. Not just because of you.”

“Business? Like what?”

“For someone so anxious to brush me off, what do you care? Personal business, like meeting a lawyer, seeing about custody, things like that.”

Rob paused. Custody? Lawyers? Was she divorcing her absentee husband?

“Rob?” Her gentle prod made him look at her.

“Fine, you can come in.”

“Thank you,” she said, her heels clicking on the hallway as she followed him inside. He threw his Thermos on the counter. His jeans were covered in the plaster he was using on the dry wall. Rips and holes already had them looking pretty shabby. And his shirt was covered in grit and grime from the job site.

“I finished four more chapters,” she said, setting an envelope on the counter. 

He glared at it. “When do you find the time?”

“After the girls go to bed. I spend hours by myself. And this is going a lot faster th
an expected. Easier than usual.”

“I’ll read them.”

“Good,” she said, smiling at him. Why was she smiling so knowingly at him? So happily? An awkward silence fell between them. When she finally quit looking around his house, she leaned casually against his counter and folded her arms under breasts.  “You still go out a lot, don’t you?”

“
Sometimes. So what?”

“So
… I was thinking, my mother is taking the girls overnight next weekend, so I’ll be home alone.”

“What does that have to do with me?” he asked in a grumpy tone
as he turned and started unpacking his lunch.

“I was hoping you’d take me out. Like out, out. Out at night. Out like twenty-year-
olds go out. I’ve never done that before. I’ve been at home with my babies. I only ever drank at summer picnics or Christmas Eve. I’d like to go out with you like I was twenty. Just once, I’d like to know what it feels like to be young and dumb and having fun.”

“So naturally, you thought of me.”

She smiled. “Naturally. Don’t get all pissy with me! It’s not like it’s a secret, you have a reputation for being fun. And I could use some fun just about now.”

“Why now?”

“I’ve never had anyone to do something like that with.”

“And your kids are gone?”

“Kids are gone,” she said, meeting him squarely in the eye. Was she saying what he thought she was saying? They were… what? Planning to sleep together this weekend?

“Is this for your book? Getting a taste what my life is really like? What I’m like?”

“No. No book. Just me and you. That’s what this is. I’m asking you to do it.”

“It’s not a good idea,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So what? My entire life has always been a good idea. For once, I’d like to do the not so good idea.”

“I’m single, and free to make any mistakes I want. You’re the one with three little kids and a house; you’re the one full of responsibilities. So you’re the one with things to lose. Not me.”

She nodded, her gaze holding his. “I’m well aware of what my responsibilities are. Doesn’t mean I can’t decide who I want to go out with.”

“That’s the thing. We go out, it’s one night. Maybe two. It’s not an us thing. It’s not a couple. It’s nothing beyond what we’re talking about right now.”

“Okay. Duly noted. No one can fault you for honesty.”

He tapped his finger on the counter, afraid to breathe. Afraid she’d change her mind.
“And you’re still interested?”

“In having fun? Yes, I’d really like to have fun right now.”

“With me?”

She smiled. “With you
, Rob.”

“Why?”

“Because I like you,” she said simply.

“Why do you like me?” he asked, not wanting to, but he almost had to know why she liked him so much.

“Because you like my kids, and you like me.”

“How do you know?”

“Because until you became so embarrassed about seeing me, you showed it.”

“I’m not embarrassed,” he mumbled, getting annoyed. Why wouldn’t she let that go? Why didn’t she notice the awkwardness whenever they were together? Why didn’t she feel
ill at ease with him? And why wasn’t she scared of him? Why wasn’t she at all embarrassed with him?

Her delicate, red eyebrows rose towards her hairline.
“So it’s a date then?”

“You really want to do that?”

“Quit second-guessing me. I know what I want to do; I’m just not usually comfortable saying it.”

He didn’t get why she felt so comfortable with him. She really should not have been. “Well?”

He couldn’t hold her gaze. He turned towards his sink and rinsed out his Thermos. “Fine. We’ll go get you drunk and stupid. Don’t blame me when you wake up and regret it.”

****

Rebecca beat on the door with rapid, urgent knocks. “I need your help.”

Joelle
’s eyes rounded when she found Rebecca outside her front door. “What’s going on?”

“I asked out your ex-husband.”

Joelle opened the door wider. “I see. And why do you need my help with that?”

“I don’t know who else to go to.”

“Go to for what?”

“I don’t know how to dress. Or fix my hair. I don’t have a clue. The wildest I’ve ever gotten is a midnight matinee. I don’t know how to prepare
for this.”

“For what?”

“For, you know, going out. Partying.”

Joelle stared at her. “You’re going out partying?”

Rebecca stood up straighter. “Yes. I am. Or at least I was planning to. But now that it’s here, I’m terrified.”

“What are you
doing?”

“I asked Rob to take me out, you know, out like you guys used to do. You know, drinking, dancing, and acting like you’re only twenty. I was so confident and sure I wanted to do this, right up until about an hour ago. That was when I realized what a fool I would make of myself. I’ve never done this before. I run with the PTA crowd, for God sake! I can’t go out and party, and I’m not twenty. I’m freckled. And a cute mom.
I’m practical and responsible. I’m not sexy. And I’m not fun. Do you hate me for asking Rob out?”

“I really don’t care that you asked Rob out. In fact, I totally understand why you would. He’s very nice, and let
’s face it, hotter than hot. Always was. You haven’t forgotten that I liked him too at one time? I get that. But calm down. You’re not too old, or too freckled or too practical. You can go out and have fun. It’s easy.”

“For you. You’re all dark and mysterious. People don’t know what to think of you. I’m like the pig-tailed, neighborhood baby sitter. You really don’t hate me for doing this?”

“No. I really don’t. I want Rob to be happy too, you know. I don’t have any problem if it’s you. He’s not mine anymore, Rebecca. I care about him because of what we were to each other, not because of what we are now.”

“I don’t want to just be Doug’s wife, or the girls’ mom, for one night of my life, Joelle. Just for one night, I want to pretend I’m an adolescent. But now, I don’t know what to do.”

Joelle smiled. “Well, you came to the right place. I do. I did it for about five years. Come on, let’s see what we can do about the PTA mother who you’re so worried you are.”

An hour later, Rebecca didn’t recognize herself. Joelle did wonders with her. She made her look not so mommy-
ish, not so baby sitter-ish, and almost not even thirty-ish. Joelle straightened Rebecca’s hair and put darker, more dramatic, makeup on her. Her freckles had nearly vanished. Joelle disappeared into her closet and emerged with some clothes she seemed to dust off. “Old, going-out attire,” Joelle said as she held up an outfit.

“I don’t even resemble myself. Rob won’t recognize me for sure
. He’s only ever seen me as a mom.”

“Just so you know, all of this
,” Joelle said, waving at Rebecca’s new look, “is for you, alone. Rob might not like it.”

“What do you mean? You dressed like this.”

Joelle shook her head. “Don’t you remember what I looked like in high school? When I first met Rob, I looked, well, just how you usually do. He finds wholesome really attractive. And cute. You know, everything he isn’t. Always has been like that. He never really encouraged me to get tattoos or piercings or weird hair. It was my own transformation, not on his advice. It wasn’t what first attracted him to me.”

Rebecca had no idea.

“In fact,” Joelle said, as she rustled around in one of her dresser drawers, “it really makes more sense that he would be attracted to you.”

“We haven’t really decided that yet.”

“Yeah, Nick and I didn’t ‘decide’ anything for a long while after we were attracted to each other either. But all this doesn’t come as so much of a shock to me, as it probably does to you.”

“He’s so nice to my girls. Even though he doesn’t know a thing about kids, especially girls, he’s really nice to them. He’s
interested and kind to them. He even plays with them. He lets them cue him on what to do with them.”

“He would. He’s a nice man. Underneath all that scruff, and despite what went wrong, he started out a very nice man. He wanted kids and a family and a normal life.”

“How come it doesn’t bother you?” Rebecca asked, pausing to turn and look into Joelle’s eyes.

“Because I made my decision years ago. I could have stuck by Rob until he got sober. I could have given him another chance, but I didn’t. I chose your brother.”

Rebecca was suddenly very glad Joelle did do just that.

Rebecca looked at the outfit Joelle offered her once it was on. Black pants, but not like the loose, dress-up pants she usually wore. They were a heavier material, low-riding, and wide-legged over her feet. Stylish. They were very stylish.
The tank top was thin strapped, lace edged, in a black and white, shiny, metallic-like material.

Rebecca almost gulped as she looked in the mirror. She’d never in her life worn such a getup. Not as a teenager, not as a twenty-one-year-old, never. She wasn’t as slim as Joelle so the whole outfit was tighter th
an she deemed appropriate, but it went a long way toward preventing her from looking like the rural, countrified, mother of three that she truly was.

“What do I look like?”

“Like a girl going out and partying.”

“A girl?”

“Yeah, a twenty-something on the prowl.”

Rebecca had never been a twenty-something on the prowl. And it felt weird.
It made her feel silly and stupid, and yet… it sounded like so much fun, it intrigued her. “I look kinda slutty. It’s all so tight and my shirt is so shiny. I can’t pull this off.”

“Tight looks good on you.”

“Do you ever miss it? Going out like you used to?”

“Sure. I spent a lot of time doing it. But people grow up, life moves on, things change.”

Rebecca kept preening in the mirror, before she sat on the bed with her shoulders sagging. “I can’t do this. I’ve only ever danced at weddings. I can’t act young, I never was young.”

“I’m sure it’s far easier than raising three girls on you
r own! Or facing a room full of expectant parents at the PTA meetings.”