Zenith Fulfilled (18 page)

They ordered some drinks, and started drinking, talking, and watching the crowds. Soon, the music became not quite so loud or obnoxious. The lights were less blinding, and the smell of smoke less nauseating to Rebecca. She heard the few comments of those around her. The casual talk. She noticed Nick getting up, and coming back, then Spencer. She drank whatever was being provided, and soon, her limbs felt heavy, and the buzz in her head was beyond feeling just pleasant to really good.

“How you feeling?”

Rebecca looked up at Rob’s close face, his words so soft, for her ears only. His eyes
were also close, and the dark green outline of them held her gaze for a moment, until she forgot what to answer. His body was alongside hers, blocking her in the booth, and blocking out the room. The rest of the group was on her other side, so she was staring up at him as if they were all alone.

“I’m feeling fine,” she said, careful to speak deliberately and clear.

Rob smiled. “Fine, huh? I think you’re a little bit drunk, sweetheart.”

She giggled. She outright giggled and loudly. Then
she put a hand to her mouth. Kathy giggled, Karlee giggled
,
but
she
did not giggle. Yet, there she was, giggling. She might have also been drunk because she wasn’t as mad at Rob anymore for trying to make Nick angry.

Joelle and Erica weren’t too far behind, she suspected. Their eyes were starting to look glassy, and their faces were flushed, never mind that they, too, were giggling more freely.
Both of them were also looking up at their husbands with unabashed adoration. Rebecca used to know that look and feeling: that clean, easy, couple feeling. She forgot how it felt now. She didn’t know what to feel. She didn’t know how to think of Rob, or how to look at him, or if she even wanted to look at another man who wasn’t Doug.

The music started to sound better, and made her want to dance to it. Joelle noticed. “Come on, Rebecca, let
’s dance.”

“I can’t dance to this,” Rebecca said, sane enough to remember that.

Joelle put her hand out. “Come on then, Rob, for old time’s sake.”

“Don’t you need to ask your husband?” Rob looked into Joelle’s eyes. And not at Rebecca. The challenge made the whole table fall silent, and Rebecca, again, felt forgotten.

“No. I don’t have to ask,” Joelle said finally, not glancing at Nick.

Rob got up without a look back at Rebecca, and followed Joelle through the crowd to the dance floor. Rebecca didn’t know what to think;
and she felt a stab of jealousy deep in her gut. Towards her sister-in-law? That was ridiculous. But there it was, nonetheless.

The song moved to another track: pounding rap, a club dancing kind of song, and ideal for the place, Rebecca thought. Rob and Joelle came closer together. Away from Nick and her, and everyone else, they came together as naturally as two people could. Rebecca suspected they must have done the same thing during their marriage. An ease and fluidity existed between them that couldn’t be faked. That wasn’t lost on Rebecca. His hands were at her waist, and they started moving, not as in dirty dancing, but also not the kind of waltz box that
she usually followed.

Rebecca saw them, in that moment, as they used to be.
They were dancing fast, breathing fast, and sweat rolled down their faces. They were perfectly in sync with each other.

Rebecca glanced at her brother, knowing she should have been able to reason it out herself and accept it, but
she was too foggy, enough to feel confused. Nick was watching them too. His face appeared tight, but not nearly as angry as Rebecca suspected he would be. Then she remembered why: Nick saw this before. He had long ago accepted what Rob and Joelle once were. He had long ago decided that Joelle loved him, but she would always share a past with Rob.

Then the song ended and Rob and Joelle were close together when it did. They stayed a moment
before Rob’s hands dropped from Joelle’s shoulders, and he stepped back.

“You guys are amazing,” Erica said as they came nearer. Rob shrugged,
and slid into the booth beside Rebecca, ignoring her eyes on him.

“We were always the best dancers anywhere, weren’t we
, Rob?”

“I guess. I was too drunk most times to remember.”

“Well, we were,” Joelle said as she walked around the table to Nick. She crawled onto his lap, and slipped her arms around his neck. Rebecca had never seen this side of Joelle. She was usually subdued, quiet, nearly distant and cold with her affection towards Nick. Nick never hesitated to show affection towards her, but she was always much more reserved than he.

Nick took her in stride, and adjusted her so she fit better on his lap,
letting his hands fall loosely around her waist. She whispered something to him, and he said something back into her ear that made her laugh and lean closer to him. Rebecca looked away, nearly blushing. They weren’t doing anything, but Rebecca felt like a voyeur, watching her own brother. Rebecca glanced at Rob, who was looking at them too, with his face unchanged, unreadable. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking or feeling.

“Come on.”

Rebecca looked up, yanked from her contemplations by Rob’s voice.

“Come where? And do what?”

“To dance.”

She shook her head vigorously. “I can’t.”

“You wanted me to bring you out. You wanted to try this. So come on.”

Rebecca glanced down at the table.
She felt many eyes upon her, especially her brother’s. What did Nick think? What did he want her to do? Did he hate her? She almost turned and asked his permission. Instead, she wearily got to her feet and followed Rob through the crowd of people.

It was like stepping into a small elevator at full capacity, only to Rebecca, it was worse because the music nearly deafened her. Bodies bumped and crowded her as she stood there, like a rock in a tidal wave, the crowd undulating almost as one giant organism around her. Still, she stood there
, like a fixed, awkward monolith.

“I can’t do this.”

“You can. Just relax to start. Put your hands on my shoulders.”

“I’m not Joelle.”

“Who asked you to be?”

“Seems like you really enjoyed dancing with her.”

His lips turned up. “I was dancing. Like I’m trying to do with you. Now look, this dancing starts from your hips, it’s easy, stay relaxed, feel the music and just move your hips.”

“You did more than just move your hips.”

“With Joelle?” His eyes widened as if he were surprised. “You’re the one who invited her! Are you suddenly jealous of me and my ex-wife?”

Rebecca stopped
moving and looked up at him, puzzled. Was she? Was that what her reaction was? Jealousy? “How could I be jealous? I’m not dating you.”

He leaned in closer. “Could have fooled me; you looked plenty jealous.”

She turned her head, unready to say anything to that.

Then Rob’s hands were on her back, push
ing her closer to him, and alongside his body. She moved, but he moved better. He was a fantastic dancer. He never missed a beat or step. He didn’t just grind like half of the people around her either. It wasn’t long before she finally relaxed, and the courage from the alcohol urged her to let go. She finally danced for the very first time in her life, and got in touch with her girl-gone-wild side, although it was much harder for her than she ever pictured.

She let Rob pull her closer. For the first time in her adult life, she was acting impulsively and enjoying it. She was smiling, and easily getting caught up in the music, the movement, the crowds, the hot air of sweating bodies all around her. And hers was one of them.

It wasn’t long before Joelle and Erica joined them, and Rebecca began dancing with them too. Rob smiled and waved her towards the girls before he eventually slipped off.

She laughed
at herself straining to mimic Joelle, and found it wasn’t so hard when you just let go and stopped worrying. Joelle raised her arms over her head, moving her hips this way and that, and bending down and up in a sexy jive, which Rebecca imitated too.

Joelle moved in, putting her arms around Rebecca in a drunk
-happy hug before she started dancing with her. She made Rebecca laugh too. She never acted like this with other women. It was fun and so liberating. No men, no opinions. Feeling sexy, but not being judged. Rebecca laughed over the sheer uninhibited fun of it all. Of feeling young. For once, she wasn’t a spectator, watching and judging from a distance.

T
he club took on a life of its own as the night progressed. Midnight brought the biggest crowd of the evening. The music became darker, edgier, with a lot of rap, techno and hip-hop. The strobe lights flashed crazily with the throngs of people at the center of the two-tiered dance floor. Rob drank his water, then a Coke, then another, while munching on pretzels.

Finally
, he admitted it wasn’t as much fun to be at this kind of place when he was sober.

Except for watching Rebecca. That was easily worth sitting there sober just to observe. It was like
seeing a caterpillar emerge from its cocoon: at first, she was timid, worried, and scared. Seeing her now, however, comfortable, laughing, smiling, and acting out with total abandon was like seeing her spread her wings and fly. She was a strikingly different woman in there, and one Rob was sure she’d never been before.

She looked hot too, which was something he wouldn’t have classified her
as being. But it was hard not to stare at her tonight. And not to think dirty thoughts. Something again, he tried desperately not to do. She wasn’t that kind of woman. She was a high-caliber, get-to-know-first, think-about-long-term, kind of woman.

But tonight, how could he resist her? The tight pants, the gleaming, metallic tank top that showed off the tops of her breasts, even when she just sat there, let alone when she was in the middle of the dance floor, writhing around like the rest of the drunken twenty-
somethings. And he liked it. He liked seeing her relaxed, having fun, and not so worried about everyone and everything else.

He also liked how she felt in his han
ds. He liked that way too much. He liked how she smiled, and how sprays of freckles dusted her bare arms. And how her blue eyes looked up at him, seeming so unsure, unsettled, with a unique fire sparking in them. He liked hearing all of her opinions, and the attitude that she used to conquer him with from the start. One moment, she was balls out, knowing what she wanted, and what to do with herself, her life, her kids, and even with him. Then the next moment, like a switch was flipped, she could become hesitant, unsure, unsettled, timid, while kowtowing to others’ opinions. He should have thought her half crazy with all of her personality switches; but instead, the contrast fascinated him.

“Are you staring like that at my wife or at my sister?”

Rob glanced up, suddenly startled when Nick’s voice interrupted him. Joelle and Rebecca’s empty seats separated them. Rob glanced around. Spencer left the table too. They were alone.

“Which would you prefer?” Rob asked, smiling snidely. Knowingly. They were both looking towards the three women on the dance floor, now all dancing together. Then with their hands over their heads, they were all leaning in and yelling out the lyrics of the song.

“Erica. You can look at Erica.”

“Nah. That’s worse. She’s my best friend’s wife. I don’t snag other people’s wives.”

Nick smiled, and Rob was sure neither Joelle nor Rebecca ever saw one like it up close. “Bullshit! That doesn’t work, my sister is quite definitely married with three kids. What are you doing here?”

“Your sister invited me. And your wife is the one who wanted to join us. Judging by how much fun she’s having, maybe you should take her out more often.”

“Don’t. Don’t you fucking comment on Joelle.”

“Or what
, Nick? What are you going to do to me?”

“I told you if you messed with Rebecca or Joelle, I’d bury you.”

“I’m not messing with anyone. Your sister is messing with me. Have your little talk with her. I’m just along for the ride.”

“That’s just it. She
doesn’t get what a creep like you could do to her.”

Rob
sighed and pushed his glass away. He knew they could swiftly escalate into an all out fistfight. Nick looked pissed. More so than usual. Nick wasn’t drunk, but had been drinking. Rob was sober, sober and sane enough to drop his voice and lose the tone. “Look, Lassiter, she asked me out. Said she wanted to go somewhere like this, and have some fun. It sounds to me like she hasn’t ever done it. You have a problem with what she’s doing, really, take it up with her. And as for Joelle? She asked me to dance, and we danced. That’s it. I wasn’t coming on to her. I thought we agreed you won that battle four years ago. I thought you knew that too.”

Nick sat back,
probably wondering what he could say without losing face. That he wasn’t so sure he won the battle for Joelle? Of course, he knew he decimated the competition in that battle so long ago. Joelle and Rob were timid friends, at best, who shared a rough, complicated history that often made them feel weird and awkward when dealing with each other. But they also couldn’t act like strangers.

“Rebecca’s my little sister,” Nick finally said, oddly honest.

“I’m well aware of who she is.”

“I don’t like it. It’s fucking weird.”

“I told her that too.”

“Are you sleeping with her?” Nick asked, staring straight ahead, directly at the object of their discussion.

Rob blinked in surprise. Was he? The incident on Rebecca’s front porch was… something. Something more, something deeper than the sex he had with his nighttime friend, Bethany Holdridge, the night before that. He decided to be merciful with Nick.

“No.”

“What? Not yet? Not until later? Why aren’t you rubbing my face in it? Making me more miserable about it than I already am?”

“This isn’t about you. You don’t know dick about me
, Lassiter. What I say or do about anything. And your sister can tell you whatever she wants you to know .”

“What? That you’re not as bad as I think?”

“No. I probably am. But I’m not as bad as I was when you first met me.”

Nick watched him for a long moment before he grumbled
. “She’s pretty drunk tonight.”

Rob
glanced towards Rebecca. She was smiling again and her once neat hair was starting to slip forward from its knot. She was damp with sweat so it began to revert to its usual curl. She was so pretty. And so seriously good. She was the kind of a person Rob would  have worried about if she’d been his sister, and he supposed he’d be just as uptight and furious as Nick was, to any guy aiming to hook up with her. For that reason, and that understanding only, Rob decided to quit his usual ribbing and trying to make Nick hate him. “I’m not going to take advantage of her.”

Nick
frowned at the quiet tone of Rob’s voice.

“You sound like you mean that.”

“I do. Do you really think so little of Joelle that she’d have married me if I were as awful a person to her as you think I was? It didn’t start out that way. I didn’t start out that way.”

“I can’t let it go. What it turned into. What I walked into. What she was living with. She can, but I can’t.”

“I apologized to her. She knows that. But you? You fucking wanted her from the start, and you won’t admit it. So you’re not as kind and noble as you pretend to be.”

“I never set out to get her.”

“But you got her. So what more do you want from me, Lassiter? I quit drinking, I quit partying, I quit my band and my life because of what I did to her. I did all that because of what I turned into with her. Don’t you think I know exactly what I once had and lost? Don’t you think I know? I’ve outlined it in clear, concise detail for your sister who wants to write and publish it.”

“That’s what bugs me. You still regret losing Joelle. You still won’t move on. And now you’ve got my sister in your sights? Why? To get back at me? Or at Joelle? Or because you think she can help you feel better?”

“I do regret losing Joelle. I regret what I did to her and to myself. But it’s done. I did it. I can’t undo it. I get up each and every day and try to stay sober. And try to make up for it. What I don’t do, Lassiter, is get up every day and think of ways I can get Joelle back. Or get back at you. Fuck you! You’re not all that important to me, Nick Lassiter. I used to go months without thinking about you, or your wife. Get over yourself. Your sister came to me. Your sister keeps coming to me. I don’t exactly relish the fact that she’s your sister.”

Nick jerked his head back.
“You don’t?”

“No. I hate that she’s your sister.”

“But you… what? Like her?”

Silence. Then Rob said. “So what if I do? She’s a likeable person.”

Nick was staring at him again. He could feel it. Finally, Nick said, “She’s not divorced. It’s not over between her and Doug.”

“What do you want me to do with that information? Joelle wasn’t divorced either and that never stopped you.”

“I want you to be aware, Rebecca might not be thinking clearly. She might be lonely, and confused. She might fall for you because you’re just there and so different and exciting. And it might not be real.”

Rob sat up straighter
and leaned into Nick. “You don’t know your sister very well. She’s the most aware, concise, sure, balls out woman I’ve ever met. Confused? Lonely? She might be, but she usually knows exactly what she wants to do about it. Why don’t you look a little closer at her and see what she wants? As to her husband, I have no idea. Never met him. She says very little. I guess I assume she knows what she’s doing.”

Spencer walked up just then.
He sat down and looked from Nick to Rob. “You two finally having it out over them?”

“Shut up,” Rob said grumpily. At least, Spencer was someone he could count on,
and be himself with. Spencer only grinned at Rob’s tone.

“You two are connected.
First Joelle, and now Rebecca. Get over it, and get used to it.”

“Easy for you to say,” Nick mumbled.

“Really? You don’t really think it escapes me that you’ve slept with my wife, Nick.”

Rob pressed his lips in a surprised smile. Nick looked up, startled. “You never acted like it bothered you. That was ancient history. Before Joelle.”

“Yeah. Like the history between you two. I can’t let your history with Erica bother me. Erica cares about you still, and she loves Joelle. So I had to accept knowing you’ve seen my wife naked. Not easy. Not easy at all, but I manned up and did it. Now you should try the favor in return.”

Rob realized Nick was actually blushing. “I never think about Erica like that.”

“Neither does she about you. Neither does Joelle about Rob. Neither does Rob about Joelle. Seriously guys, you make everyone else miserable. Grow up. Move on. For Joelle, for Erica, for me, and now, for Rebecca. She had no idea why this place was such a big deal to you two. She even asked me. You don’t notice her looking between her date and her brother, completely lost over who she’s supposed to side with? We all feel like that, and it gets old.”

Rob didn’t know. He didn’t know Spencer felt that way. Nick didn’t either, judging by the expression on his face.  “What do you want us to do? Hug and pledge to be lifelong BFFs?”

“How about just saving your nasty, killer looks and snide comments for when the rest of us aren’t around? Kill yourselves in private; be friendly and fake in public.” Spencer glanced at Rob, “Unless, of course, you’re never seeing Rebecca again after tonight.”

Talk about having his motives nailed to the wall. What could he say? He didn’t know anything with regard to Rebecca and him. Nick was waiting for an answer. “Fine. I’ll be nice to Nick,” Rob said, avoiding it all.

Nick nodded. His expression said, “fuck you,” but he answered, “You’re right, no one else’s fight.”

Nick looked at Rob. Rob looked back. They were anything but friends, however.

****

“Come on
, Rebecca,” Rob said gently, putting his arm around her waist to guide her. She was laughing, and nearly unable to walk. Actually, she was falling-down drunk. They were in the parking lot. It was two o’clock in the morning and time to go home. Except for drunken Rebecca, drunken Joelle, and drunken Erica who seemed to be the newest BFFs. They kept hugging and giggling together as Nick and Spencer tried to pry their wives away from each other. Finally, Rebecca leaned into Rob heavily. He turned and started walking her towards her mini-van, helping her into the passenger seat. Rob smiled and waved when he noticed Nick staring after them.

He pulled
onto the road and Rebecca smiled and talked for a few moments before she passed out in the seat. In no time, they were at his house.
So much for anything between them
, he thought wearily as he pulled her into his arms and carried her to his room. She, meanwhile, hardly stirred. She curled up into a ball on her side when he laid her on his freshly made bed. He never made his bed, except for today. That was because he thought Rebecca might be coming home with him for a different reason. He pulled her black shoes off, slipped the jewelry off her wrists, and pulled his covers over her.

W
hat did he feel staring at her? Resentment? After all, he got the impression she was willing to sleep with him. Anger? Because she got drunk and he was her designated driver?

No. He felt neither of those things,
just confusion. He was confused over why he liked watching Rebecca tonight. He liked seeing her having fun while acting young and sexy. Yet none of it was particularly directed towards him. It was all for her. And after witnessing her daily life, the demands she faced every twenty-four hours, he felt glad she got to enjoy something besides her family. Still, what was that deeply lodged tightness in his chest whenever he looked at her?