Read Yours Unfaithfully Online
Authors: Geraldine C. Deer
“Since Rattani’s been away there are no new contracts for me to draft. I’m sitting there with nothing to do half the day, bored out of my brains, but I daren’t tell management or they’ll find me work off the Stellar Haufman account and I don’t want to be in the middle of something else when they get back. I might miss out on all the work from Poland. How’s your day been Tim?”
“Interesting, definitely. Simon’s off to Florida on Thursday morning and I’ve got to sit around in London all day waiting to pick his sister up from Heathrow. She’s arriving from Brisbane. Apparently they don’t get on, so when she says she’s coming he ships out… bit odd but that’s moneyed people for you.”
“Tim, why don’t I take Thursday off, meet you in London, we could do some shopping, have lunch and then do a matinee before I catch the train back and you go to the airport?”
“Sounds better than spending a whole day on my own.”
“Well, thanks Tim, that was one hell of an acceptance, if you were intending to make me feel excited about it you just failed miserably. If that’s really how you feel then sod you, spend the day on your own. I’d sooner be bored in the office than in London with someone who doesn’t appreciate me.”
“Sorry, Neen, I never meant it to come out like that. I would love to meet you in London, and to prove it I’ll take you to one of Simon’s best restaurants. He’s already told me to put the meal on his account, I’ll show you the best food in London, how about it?”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Oh come on, Neen, you know I want you to come. I can’t help it if my mouth doesn’t always consult with my brain.”
“OK you smooth talker. I’ll get the nine thirty, it’s a lot cheaper after the peak period and I can get any train back after six thirty, should work out well.”
“What are your plans for tonight, Neen?”
“I didn’t know we had plans in the evenings. I thought we just followed our instincts, up the stairs and into bed. Why? Have you got a better idea?”
Of course not, it’s just that I didn’t want you to think I was taking you for granted, not after last night.’
“Tim, with so few nights left, I’m happy for you to take me for granted., in fact why don’t you do it now instead of waiting till after the news?”
“Sounds like you did have a plan after all, come on then!”
He pulled her up and steered her towards the stairs. They no longer had any inhibitions with each other and within seconds of starting to kiss she was pulling his clothes off. He felt the excitement of her passionate attack and wondered why Melanie never wanted him this badly. Maybe it would be different after four weeks apart.
He tried to imagine himself with Melanie as Nina eagerly explored his body. If Melanie did behave the way Nina did, like some sex hungry creature intent only on making their loving deeply passionate, he would want to know why she had changed. He knew if she was this keen he would be suspicious, wondering what had brought about the change in her appetite for sex. Maybe I’m just hard to please, he thought.
Thursday Morning brought no change in the heat wave and as Tim headed into central London after dropping Simon and his wife at Heathrow, he found himself admiring scores of beautiful women wearing their lightweight summer attire. The pavements were awash with people who had discarded all but the most essential items in an attempt to stay cool. Tim parked in his favourite underground car park just off The Strand and then set out about finding Nina.
She was due to emerge from the underground station at the end of the road any time now, so he settled for a coffee at a window seat in a bar on the corner and enjoyed the view of passers by. If Nina followed his instructions to the letter he would shortly see her on the opposite pavement. His mind drifted to thoughts of Saturday, the big day, when he would meet Melanie for the first time in a month. What would he say? Should he practice his lines? How would she look? Would she be overjoyed at their reunion or would she grasp hold of the kids and ignore him?
If their meeting was to be a success, and god knows he wanted it to be, then he would have to put aside his petty squabbles and consider her thoughts. Of course she’d head straight for the kids, what mother wouldn’t? And anyway, what about his behaviour since she’d been away? Could he really blame it all on her and her lack of interest in him? Wasn’t the truth that he had used her absence to behave badly?
If he were to stand any chance of getting away with this he would have to be nice to Melanie and even nicer to Nina. If she lost her temper in a fit of jealousy and spat it all out he was finished.
As he stared at the busy street outside he suddenly saw her, anxiously looking at her watch. He left quickly and dodged between the traffic to get to her.
“I was just beginning to think you’d stood me up,” she said.
“Sorry, Neen, I was staring out of the window, but my mind was somewhere else. You ready then?”
“Tim, I’ve been ready for ten minutes, let’s go.”
They walked towards Oxford Street, stopping first at Liberty, where Nina raved about a double bed that was on display, priced at three thousand pounds. ‘What about that Tim? She said enticingly, “do you think we could make use of that?”
“What, now?”
“No, stupid, at home in place of my old one. After all I shared that bed with Ben. It’s not very nice for me is it?”
What the hell was she going on about? They had talked about this. It was to end tomorrow. Mel would be back on Saturday. Was this her way of telling him she wasn’t about to end it as they’d agreed?
“Neen, you haven’t forgotten that Mel is due back on Saturday, have you?”
“Thanks Tim, I needed that. We’ve got just two days left to spend together and you are already thinking about her. Do you have any idea how hard this is for me? Can’t you let me enjoy myself until then. God knows I’ll have to face up to it soon enough. How do you think it’s going to be for me, seeing you two enjoying married bliss together, while I sit next door alone? You are a thoughtless bastard sometimes, Tim, you know that?”
Sorry seemed the only appropriate word, but it was fast becoming the one with which he started every sentence. He wished fervently that he’d never started this affair with Nina. It was obvious she wasn’t about to let go.
After two hours of shopping they ended up almost where they’d met. “Nina there’s a great rib bar on the corner of the street where I parked the car, perfect for two hungry shoppers, what d’you say?”
“I say, lead on Tim.”
Over two full racks with chips and two cold beers they discussed which show they should see. They settled for Mamma Mia, which would only necessitate a short walk from where they were eating. “So is this one of your boss’s places Tim,?”
“No, but I’ve eaten here before, and I love the food. And just look at that view of the people below us, unaware of how we can look down on them as they scurry back and forth. This is people watching at its best.’ After a few minutes silence, he added, ‘Neen, I’ll probably be too late back tonight to come round to you.”
“So you’re telling me we’re finished, is that it? Is that why you let me come up here today? So you could dump me, well away from home. Do you think that’s going to change anything? Do you think that’s going to make it easier? Don’t forget, Tim, that Mel will be expecting me to be there as part of her welcome home party. She’ll think it damn strange if I’m not. You’d better get it into your head that we’re in this together and I don’t like the idea of it ending here, now, in London. Do you seriously think, after all we’ve done, it will make any difference if we have tonight together or, for that matter, tomorrow night. What do you think Mel would say if she knew? ‘Oh well I didn’t mind you sleeping with Nina, Tim, as long as you didn’t do it the night before I got back’? Get real Tim, whether we get caught tonight, tomorrow night or one day last week the outcome will be the same. The shit will hit the fan, the volcano will erupt, and if it does, you are sitting right on top of it.”
On that sombre note they left to make their way to the theatre. At six they were back out in the street again. Tim rang the airport to check on the Brisbane flight. “Neen, the flight is delayed, not expected in until seven thirty tomorrow morning. I’ll have to put up in one of the hotels over at Heathrow to be on hand for the morning. What train do you want to catch? I’ll get you back to the station.”
“No you bloody won’t. I thought I’d made it clear we are spending tonight together. Book a double room and in the morning I’ll get across to Paddington for the train home. Tonight we can have a fabulous time in a luxurious hotel’. A perfect way to spend our last night together.”
Her determination made his thoughts of protest futile, out of the question, so they got the car from the underground parking and joined the mass of traffic heading west to Heathrow.
Tim booked them into a top quality room. Simon was picking up the bill. He wouldn’t mind as long as Tim spent the next two weeks making sure his sister had nothing to complain about.
They showered before taking dinner in the hotel’s restaurant, but Tim was finding it hard to be good company tonight. Visions of Saturday kept flooding his mind. He saw Melanie, all smiles and happy to be back in the arms of her loving and faithful husband, except that he wasn’t.
Would Mel take one look at him, see deceit in his face and ask him outright? She’d know something was wrong, she’d managed quite well without him for four weeks, and as soon as she’d extracted his confession she’d be calm but resolute. ‘That’s it for us Tim. I cannot believe what you have done. I never dreamt that you were capable of throwing twenty years of our lives away on some cheap and sordid affair with, of all people my so called best friend.’ What would she do then? Demand he hand over his keys? Throw him out of his own house?
He could hardly complain that she was being too hard on him. Where would he go? Next door? Oh yes, that’d be great... that would guarantee any chance of reconciliation was stubbed out before it began. You idiot... why did you ever start this?
He looked up and straight into Nina’s gaze. Was she reading his mind?
“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind, Tim. Would it make it any easier if we shared it?”
“Neen, you know what’s on my mind; Saturday, Mel, you, this, us being together, what have we done, Neen?”
“We’ve made love Tim, not once, or twice but lots of times. We’ve enjoyed each other, in every sense of the word, and do you know something, Tim? If things were as perfect between you and Mel as you are trying to make out, it wouldn’t have happened. Be honest with yourself, it’s the only way in the long run. Did you and Mel really find true love again on that holiday, or was that how you wanted to see it through your rose tinted glasses? You know, things were pretty bad between you before you went and yet after two weeks in the sun it was like you were young lovers all over again... No, Tim, what really happened was that you had a holiday romance ... with your wife!”
“Neen, I went with you because I couldn’t stand being on my own while she was away. I was jealous, jealous as hell that she was spending her days and, who knows, maybe her nights, with another man. I was angry, confused, lonely ... any man would have gone off the rails in my situation.”
“No, Tim, many happily married couples have to spend time apart, but they don’t fall into bed with the woman next door simply because they can’t have their own wife. You slept with me because you fancied me, because I fancied you, because we both knew that we had more to give each other than you and Mel do. Face it, Tim, you and Mel are never going to find lasting happiness together. You and I? Yes, we could make each other happy, we proved it this last four weeks, and not just in bed, but talking together. You said yourself that you couldn’t talk to Mel the way you do me. You said she isn’t interested, she’s got other things in her head; she even had more to say to Trudy than she did to you, remember?”
“What about my kids, Neen? Am I supposed to forget them as well?”
“Your kids and mine get on great together, we can have all six of them to stay whenever Mel wants and for holidays. If we want a week away on our own she might take mine round at hers. Once she’s got over the shock of ‘us’ I think she’ll get used to it.”
“Neen, please listen... two months ago Mel and I weren’t speaking, you know that. I felt like there was no woman in my life, in fact I was sure of it. Now ... I have two women in my life. What’s happened?”
“Us, Tim, that’s what’s happened. You’re scared ... scared of the confrontation with Mel, the inevitableness of it. It’s not the splitting up that frightens you, it’s having to face the music, owning up, seeing her anger when you tell her what’s been happening, but once it’s out in the open, a few days and life will get back to normal.”
“Normal? What’s normal, Neen ?”
“Normal will be you and me Tim, and it’ll be better than it’s been in years ... I promise.” Nina shared the last of the wine between them and hoped that she was getting through to him. For her the last four weeks had been a fresh start, not with a stranger, but with a man she’d known for three years and yet never considered except as a neighbour, as her friend’s husband, her husband’s friend, someone to nod to over the fence or say good morning to but absolutely nothing more. How could she have been so close to him for three years without realising that they were right for each other? How could she get him into her bed so conveniently so soon after her own husband had left for pastures new? Was she fooling herself as well as him? She was endeavouring to make him see that they had a future together, but how could she be so sure after just four weeks of ... of what.... lust? He was lonely, he’d said so, but she was lonely too. Was that all it was, two lonely people providing comfort to each other? Could he now go back to Mel as if nothing had happened? Perhaps nothing had happened ... maybe that was the answer they needed. After all, if they could convince themselves that nothing had happened then Saturday would be a breeze. They could hug Mel, smile, ask her about her trip, laugh at her stories ... everything would be like before, as if nothing had happened ... but that was for Saturday.