Yours Unfaithfully (54 page)

“Yes Mel, I’m taking them to clear my head, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried Tim, I’m angry, and the sooner we say what has to be said, the better.”

“Mel ... I don’t want to hear you say it. I can’t come out if you’re going to tell me it’s over.”

“Would you rather I took Trudy and the kids away from here, now, and had my solicitor write to you... the words would be the same, it would be less personal... perhaps that’s what you’d prefer?”

“Mel, what I prefer is that you give me another chance... please Mel?”

“That’s not possible, Tim. Our marriage is over, OK? There you are, I’ve said it. Now deal with it... just like I have to. I’m as much to blame as you for what’s happened. If it makes it any easier for you, I’m not ending it just because of your affair with Nina. I’m not even the one who’s ending it, it ended itself. It was over months ago Tim, we both know that but we felt like we had to try and fix it. We spent those nights having meals together, trying to pretend that we could remake the magic... but the magic went a long time ago. It’s time for us both to move on, Tim.”

He opened the door and stood staring at the woman who had guided him safely through the last twenty years of his life. How would he get through the next twenty without her? His head was so painful it obliterated the worst thoughts from his mind. He was sinking in and out of consciousness thanks to copious quantities of alcohol and paracetamol. He was finding it hard to focus properly and his vision was blurred.

Melanie knew he needed help. Did he need to go to hospital or just lay down and sleep it off? She saw the packet on the floor. Eight tablets were missing from it.

“Did you take all of those?”

He nodded in agreement.

“You’d better lay down before you fall down, but Tim, don’t think this changes anything.”

She led him to their bedroom, where he collapsed onto the bed. In seconds he was snoring loudly. He looked disgusting, sprawled across the covers in a drink-induced state topped up with tablets. Was this the man she had looked up to for so many years? She stood there for a while. She needed to look at him, to see him like this, reduced to a scrambled mess. He’d never been strong-minded, she’d always had to show him the way, to lead him along, but it had seemed quite natural for all those years.

That was just the way he was. She had planned and booked holidays, seen to the kids’ schooling, dealt with their finances, in fact she tried to think of what Tim had dealt with in their twenty years together. He’d got himself to work each day and got himself home each night. That was it, she’d done the rest. Now it would be different. She was free from him, no longer his keeper. From today he would have to fend for himself. She looked down at his helpless body and sighed. Could he ever look after himself?

He’d better learn to, and learn quickly because she had made the last decision for him as his wife... from here on she would make the decisions that had to be made for her and for the children. He could make his own way from now.

Trudy was clearing the last remnants of the party away. The celebration had turned into a wake. Now it was best forgotten, as quickly as possible. Melanie was in the lounge searching the web from her laptop. She typed the words ... ‘Hotels, Short Breaks’ and within minutes she had found what she was looking for. She phoned the hotel and confirmed the details.

Trudy came in from the kitchen looking pleased with herself. “I’ve done it. I’ve finally cleared up every last thing from the party.”

“Trudy, I want you to go upstairs and pack as much as you need for a week and do the same for the kids. Get them to help you. The bags and cases are in the loft, send Henry up for them. I’ll get my own bag sorted and I’ll take care of packing the car. It’s going to be a tight fit but we’ll manage.”

“Where are we going, Mel?”

“Devon. I’ve booked us on a family package deal at a hotel in Dartmouth. We can do some sailing, the boys can do some fishing, we can walk along the cliffs, we can find plenty to keep us busy, and when we come back things will have started to sort themselves out.”

“What time in the morning are we setting off?”

“Not tomorrow... we need to leave here in an hour. I’ve booked us in tonight and it’s a three hour drive.”

The sudden announcement drove all the bad memories of last night from their minds. In minutes they were in holiday mood. Melanie wrote a note to Tim. She would place it for him to read when he woke up.

“Dear Tim,

Thank you for everything we shared together. Like all good things it had to come to an end. I’m looking forward to making a new life for myself and I hope you find happiness with someone else. I’d like it if we can remain friends for the kids... remember Tim, they are
our
kids, and they will always be our kids. I don’t ever want to shut you out from their lives and I hope that when you find a new partner she’ll want you to share some time with them so that you stay close to them as they grow up and always.

Yours sincerely, Mel

She wiped away a tear as she placed it on the bedside table next to him. He was still asleep and probably would be for hours yet. She checked he was breathing normally and then quietly closed the door on a chapter of her life.

The drive to Devon gave them the chance to talk. For the next six days she and the kids would spend all of their time together, and the events of this weekend would be consigned to history. She would make sure that everything they did would help them look forward, not back.

Their rooms overlooked the river and as soon as they had unpacked they set off on a walk around the town. It was half past seven and they were all starving. Melanie pointed out a few places that they could eat, some overlooking the river and others in the quaint side streets which made up most of the town centre. They completed a circuit, arriving back at the Boat Float, a small protected tidal basin housing lots of small boats. Some seagulls were standing nearby, inviting them to throw scraps for them.

“Well, what’s it to be...?”

Before she could finish the kids chorused their choice, “Fish and Chips!”

“You OK with that Trudy?”

“I’m OK with anything as long as it’s food. I’m ravenous.”

With a good meal inside them they sat on a bench overlooking the river. There was a constant stream of activity; ferry boats plying backwards and forwards to and from Kingswear and other river traffic heading up towards Totnes, or down river towards the open sea. They made a list of the things they wanted to do before the week was out. None of them mentioned the crisis they’d left behind a few hours ago. Was it forgotten already?

The holiday was a great success, helped by fabulous weather. One night they ate in a pub that specialised in fish and another night they cooked burgers on a throw away barb-que on a beach. They hired a small boat, which Henry took charge of as they cruised gently up river to Dittisham and back. They took picnics with them for the long all-day walks along the cliff paths from Start Bay Lighthouse to East Portlemouth, and then the ferry to Salcombe, before catching a bus back. By the end of the week they were tired but happy.

Friday was their last full day and they went on a boat trip out to sea. That evening they ate in the hotel dining room, too tired to walk anywhere else. While Trudy and the kids watched TV in the lounge bar, Melanie slipped off to her room. She had an internet connection and she plugged her laptop in. She e-mailed Ratty for the second time this week. In her first note she had simply explained what they were doing. This time she sent him a simple poem.

You’ve told me how much you love me,

All you want is to take me away,

I’m thinking that now is the right time,

I’m too tired to wait for the day.

If you love me enough and you want to share,

The rest of my life, here, there, anywhere,

Me, my kids and Tabby the cat,

Then call me please, I’m hoping for that.

Ratty, I’m sorry, my poetry’s no good,

But which would you rather recover,

I might have tried harder and I know that I should,

I can’t be your poet but I will be your lover xx.

She closed the laptop and went downstairs to join the others.

Saturday meant a long drive home and when they pulled up on the drive everything looked peaceful.

Outside there was no sign of Tim’s car and inside it was as tidy as they’d left it. Melanie searched for clues of his presence, but found none. It was clear that he’d left soon after he awoke and hadn’t been back. The note she’d left him lay crumpled on the floor beside the bed. He hadn’t left her a reply, but then she never expected that he would. She fetched her things in from the car and dumped them unceremoniously in her room. She opened her laptop case and booted it up to check her e-mails. There was only one that mattered. She opened it and read the words aloud :-

Dear Mel,

Your sonnets are awful, as rightly you say,

but don’t worry about that, we’re on our way.

Ratty xx

She sent him a quick reply.

Ratty,

I’m home again, got your message. Love you. xx

Around the house, the children were noisily doing the things they always did, while Trudy set about making them a glorious evening meal, which she told Melanie was her thank you for a fabulous week away.

First things first, she thought, I’ll empty the mail box. They were probably all bills but if they were moving to somewhere new with Ratty then maybe these would be the last bills she’d have to pay. As she walked outside again to get the mail, the thought hit her that maybe the kids would have their own ideas on where they lived and who with. Supposing Henry said, “No, Mum, I’m going to live with Dad. I don’t want to live in the same house as your new lover”. What if the other two said we’re going with Henry? She turned the key and pulled the flap down to reveal a dozen or so envelopes.

The top one was hand written and she recognized the writing at once. It was Nina’s. As she walked back to the house she tore it open and started to read it:

Mel,

None of this should ever have happened, I can only beg your forgiveness and pray that one day we’ll be friends again. I know you won’t feel the same now. I wouldn’t if I were in your shoes, but that won’t stop me hoping against hope that we’ll share some evenings together again and put the world to rights.

I saw you all leave together on Sunday and I’m guessing you just needed to get away for a bit. By the time you get back I’ll be gone too, for good. Hugh has asked me to move in with him and I think I probably love him enough to make it work. At least you won’t have to worry about seeing me in the garden and having to look the other way. If you find it in you to forgive me, I’d love you to give me a call.

I’m hurting too, Mel, but that doesn’t justify me putting you through all this pain.

Sorry xx

Nina

Despite the anger Melanie had felt just a week ago, she felt a lump in her throat and a tear in her eye as she looked at Nina’s empty house. All those evenings spent together were in the past. Could she ever see Nina as a friend again? It was like a missile had landed in Elmthorpe this summer, not Cupid’s arrow. It had destroyed everything that she had taken for granted just months ago.

Ben had left Nina and was now expecting a baby with a girl called Beckie, and her own marriage was over and she was planning a new life with Ratty; that would have been too far fetched to contemplate before that fateful trip to Poland. And now Nina had left to live with Hugh. Soon there’d be very little here to show where all the happy days they had had once existed. She looked at the house where she and Tim had once been so happy. Maybe Tim would live here with someone new. It was half his after all, and she wouldn’t need it once Ratty found them a new home across town. She made a decision in that moment. I’ll give Tim my half of the house, it’ll help him to cope with what’s happened. He’ll still have his mates at the pub and I’ll even show him how to use the web to find new friends, hopefully one special friend. Deep down, Mel knew that her happiness would come easier if Tim was settled. Seeing him lonely and broken would not help her or the kids to get a foothold in their new surroundings.

She went back inside feeling a lot better about the future, and now that she had arranged some kind of a life for Tim she could think about her own. She flicked through several brown envelopes and then stopped short at the cream one with her name in large, printed handwritten letters… Tim’s witing. Standing in the middle of the kitchen she tore it open and wrenched out the note inside.

Mel,

I’ve been a fool, a selfish, stupid fool and I’ve paid the price. I so want to blame you or your work but I know I lost you a long time ago. I can’t live where I would have to see you with someone else and ‘borrow’ my children for the weekends, that would be worse than never seeing them again. By the time you read this…

Mel clenched her fist and took a deep breath, He’s done it, hasn’t he? He’s killed himself and any chance I might have had of happiness. How can I start a new life with Ratty now? How can the kids watch me trying to be happy when their father has taken his life, rather than see it all happening? You selfish bastard Tim! You’ve not only taken your life but you’ve taken mine as well. You finally got your own way. She glanced at the next line of the letter.

…I’ll be gone. I’ll be out of your life forever. I’m flying out to Brisbane with Simon’s sister, Veronica, tomorrow. It’ll make things easier with no goodbyes to say. I’ll cry when I leave because, for all I know, I’ll never come back, but at least you’ll have a better chance at a new beginning.

Loving you forever,

Yours unfaithfully,

Tim xx