Young Annabelle Series: Young Annabelle, the Truth About James, What My Heart Wants (11 page)

That would have been bad…

“I’ll talk to you later?” The hesitation in his voice caught me as I opened the passenger side door. I took a moment before answering, unsure of what to say.

What do girls normally say back?

I can’t respond with a ‘Hell yeah!’ he’ll think I’m weird
.

I slipped out of the car. Turning to him from the pavement I decided the cool, calm approach should work.

“You’ll text me?” I offered.

A huge grin spread across his face before he turned to face the wheel again.

“Yeah, I’ll text,” He answered, green eyes shining through the darkness as he shifted the car back into drive.

Yay!
I jumped up and down inside. I gave him back a regular smile, nothing that betrayed how my body screamed with crazy joy.

“Cool. Bye.”

“Bye,” He replied as I shut the car door. I took a few steps towards a house that wasn’t mine and heard his car pull away before I turned back and walked towards my house.

Wow! What a night!
I thought, pulling the blanket over my body and turning to my side. I closed my eyes and prepared for sleep without doing my ritual of staring at the ceiling while it shot horrible things my way.

I was unbelievably happy.

There was nothing anyone could ever say that could bring me down again.

Not anymore.

CHAPTER
8

August 22
nd
, 2012

166… What?

No, that can’t be right!

I stepped off the scale and let it reset. I tapped it again with my toe and waited until the digital display read zero. I stepped back on, the screen blink random numbers on and off until it finally settled on my weight.

166 pounds!

Shit!

There were days I could have gotten away with not losing any weight as long as I didn’t gain any either. But today was Wednesday, the one day each week where I was expected to have lost at least
something
. 

Damn it! She’s going to blow a fuse when she finds out I didn’t lose anything!

I stepped off the scale and pushed the horrible thought aside and tried to think about last night.

With James.

My first kiss!
I smiled widely, the thought sent tingles up my spine. I kicked the mean scale back underneath the sink and leaned over to grab my green toothbrush.

“ANNABELLE!”

Shit!

I could lie…

As I brushed my teeth, time ticked by, bringing me closer to the event with Mom. I contemplated lying about the weight, it was far more desirable than facing the wrath of that woman. But if she insisted on checking for herself and saw that I, in fact, didn’t lose weight, she’d never trust me again. She’d probably make me weigh myself in front of her from then on. I shook my head and pushed the idea away, not wanting to risk it.

“ANNABELLE!”

I began to feel panicked as I stared into the hallway. I was running out of options. I couldn’t even bolt out of the house claiming I’d be late for work.

I was off today.

Damn it, stupid work schedule.

“ANNABELLE!” Mom shouted for the third time from the foyer, sounding three times as impatient as the first time she yelled for me.

Damn it, woman!

Happy thoughts…think happy thoughts!

Think about James, he equals happy now.

Remember how he said he’d text you,
I thought while trying to dissipate the growing ball of anxiety in my stomach. I took a deep breath and prepared to face the crazy woman. I stopped halfway down the stairs when I saw Mom sitting on the bottom step waiting for me.

I d
idn’t even know where to begin…She’s plain crazy, lost it!

I s
tared wide-eyed down the stairs and she turned around at the sound of my footsteps.

“What are you doing up there, can’t
you see I’m waiting for you?” She complained, waving her little blue book in the air.

One day, I’m going to throw that stupid book into the fireplace
,
I imagined. I stared down at the book for a moment, shook off the image of its charred pages and continued my trek down the stairs to join her sadistic weekly tradition.

“Hurry up,” S
he said, getting up and heading to the living room.

“Why are we going in there?” I followed slowly.

“Because I want to do this here,” She bent behind the couch and I heard her pick up something heavy.

“Do
what
here?” 

She pulled out a white digital scale. I stared down at the brand new mean-machine in horror.

Where the hell did she get that?

And why?

“Mom, you know we already have a scale upstairs,” I said slowly, hoping it was all a big mistake.

M
aybe she thought my scale was broken?

“That’s your scale, this one is mine. I’ll be using this one from now on
to log your weight each week,” She explained happily. She placed the scale on the ground in front of me and tapped it. “Go on.” 

“You have got to be kidding me!” I didn’t move. “I’m not going on that thing, I weighed myself upstairs already.”

“Anna, I need your weekly results to be as accurate as possible. For all I know, you’ve been lying so far, telling me what I want to hear,” Mom explained, sounding like she’d had no choice but to take matters into her own hands. “When I look at you, it doesn’t seem like you’ve actually lost any weight.”

“Are you calling me a liar?” I asked slowly. I felt my fists clench, my knuckles bulged. I was mad.

This woman…she’s finally done it now…lost her marbles… Well I won’t stand it for it anymore!

My time weighing myself was supposed to be private. It was for no one to see but myself. I explained this to
her in the beginning.

I shook my head, “I’m not getting on that thing.” 

“Get on the scale, Annabelle! I won’t ask you again,” Mom warned angrily. She was probably even angrier with me for taking all the fun out of weighing me herself. Finally taking matters into her own hands and here I was ruining her shining moment.

“No!” I repeated even louder.

She could warn and threaten all she wanted, I wasn’t stepping on anybody else’s scale, not unless they were a doctor or the nutritionist and even that was done in private – I loved making Mom wait in the hallway during appointments.

Damn
it, I had rights in that office.

I’ll be damned if I don’t have the same rights here!

“Mom, where are you?” I heard Katherine yell from the top of the stairs.

“The living room, sweetie!” Mom yelled back.

I glanced up at the living room entrance just as Katherine sauntered in wearing her black leotard and pink tights. She was skinny but she was also only eleven. With her blue eyes and light brown hair, she’d gotten Mom’s traits while I’d gotten most of mine from Dad’s side of the family: dark brown hair with the odd light strand and caramel-colored eyes. Although, strangely, Dad had the same blue eyes and dark blond hair that Mom did. If I wasn’t the same height as Mom and looked identical to Dad’s grandma, then I would have thought I was adopted for sure. I was nothing like any of them, in physicality or personality.

“Why are you yelling, Annabelle?” Katherine asked in her cute-little-girl voice, stopping next to Mom who wrapped her hair into a high bun.

“Annabelle doesn’t want to weigh herself in front of me,” Mom explained to her, clearly exasperated as she took the bobby pins out of Katherine’s hand and secured the bun. I didn’t know why she was telling Katherine any of this, she was just a little kid.

She wants to tag-team again
, I thought, paranoid. I scowled at the pair of them for thinking they could go against me.

We’ll see who the victor will be this time!

Two of them against me.

The new me wouldn’t curl up into a ball and surrender. No, she’d take them both by the throat and toss them into oblivion.

BOOM!

Katherine looked back and forth between Mom and me. She l
ooked cute in her little outfit. It made me think, very briefly, of when she first began dancing at the age of five. She was actually a sweet little sister back then. I hadn’t felt affection like that for her for the last two years.

It WAS Mom.

She was the one filling Katherine with all this hatred towards me. Making her think that being a little overweight was the worst thing in the world.

“I’ll weigh myself in front of you, Mommy,” Katherine offered, sugar dripping from her voice.

That little sneaks!

Goody two shoes!

Always brown-nosing!
The vicious thoughts spewed as Katherine stepped onto the scale. She didn’t look cute anymore.

Katherine glanced up as she read her results to Mom. “I weigh
85 pounds, Mom. Is that okay?” She asked worriedly.

Oh God! Mom better say she’s at a good weight.

I glanced between Mom and Katherine. Mom smiled affectionately at her little girl and caressed the side of her face as she stepped off the scale.

I’d never get that from her…
I was immediately depressed.

“Darling, you’re perfect,” S
he gushed as she pulled my sister into a big momma-bear hug and kissed her on the cheek. Katherine stepped away and grinned at me, silently saying ‘There!’

Oh little sister, how I love these unspoken moments between us.

As Katherine sat on the couch, Mom turned back to me, her face transitioning from sweet to scowling in a second.

“You see,
Annabelle, it wasn’t so bad,” She scolded.

I’m not stepping on that thing in front of you! I silently screamed at her.

I shook my head. “I’m not doing it,” I told her firmly, folding my arms across my chest.

“Why do you insist on making things difficult?” Mom sounded really frustrated now. She sat down on the couch, crossing her legs and looking up at me like she was tired of it all. I was sure she was thinking,
‘This girl’s attitude is horrible.’

“Yeah, Annabelle.” I heard a chuckle from behind me. I turned around just as Charles walked into the living room and joined Mom and Katherine on the couch. “Why do you make things so difficult?” He repeated Mom’s argument with a sneer.

Nice to see you too, little brother, perfect timing as usual.

“Mind your business, Chuck,” I warned using the name he loved.

His head jerked up and he gave me a dirty look.

“Don’t call your brother that,” Mom rebuked. “Charles is not Chuck.” 

“Then you tell him to mind his business and not to laugh at me like a rude little snot.” I glowered at him.

“Annabelle! Apologize now!”

I jerked my chin up. “No, he started it.”

“Don
’t be a child, apologize now!” She ordered.

“How about…NO!”

Dad suddenly barged in. “What’s going on in here? I can hear everyone from upstairs!”

“Annabelle, will not weigh herself in front of me,” Mom explained with a sigh.

“Annabelle called me Chuck,” Charles added, like it actually bothered him.

Bullshit!

Dad turned to me, shaking his head. “Jesus Annabelle, this is how you wake everyone up this morning, with that horrible attitude of yours…” He sounded more disappointed than anything.

My attitude?!

I was taken aback. He hadn’t even seen what happened and he was already taking everyone else’s side.

Traitor!
I looked at him with disgust. I could feel the beginnings of my inner hurricane spilling out. I knew at any moment my face would start going red. They’d pushed me too far now.

I was beyond control.

And I know exactly who’s to blame!  

I ignored Dad and turn back to Mom, disgust written across my face.

“Are you happy?” I asked curtly, my voice low.

“What are you talking about?” She looked bewilderedly between Dad and I. Charles and Katherine’s smirks fell from their faces and they sat back quietly.

Smart,
I thought as I narrowed my eyes at them accusatorily.

“Are you satisfied? Every single person in this family despises me, thanks to you!” I yelled.

Mom eyes widened. She looked like her head was going to explode from my accusations.

“That is outrageous, how dare you say that to me!”
She yelled back, getting off the couch.

“It’s not outrageous!” I retorted. “How come I’m always attacked, huh? How come my little brother and little sister always treat me like shit?” I flung my hands towards the now quiet twosome.

“Annabelle,” Mom muttered, speechless.

I continued scowling at her, my back to still-silent Dad.

“You have an explanation why my baby sister looks at me like I’m a joke? Or do you know the reason why my little brother antagonizes me every chance he gets while you guys sit back and watch? I’ve never done anything to you guys to deserve this shit!” My voice was getting hoarse. I was on the cusp of a meltdown, right in front of my entire, disrespecting family.

The room stayed silent, no one said a word.

Well, screw you all!
I thought, trying to distract myself from falling apart in front of them. I could feel my eyes welling up but I took a deep breath and blinked it back. I had to get out of this room before I really lost it.

I felt the frustrated tears officially announce their arrival and this time they were here to stay. I couldn’t pull them back; when they wanted to spill, they did so freely.

I ran from the room, the first tear spilling as I hit the bottom of the staircase.

No one called me to come back.

No one shouted that they were sorry.

And I didn’t expect anything less, not from them.

They were all selfish people!

I couldn’t wait for the moment when I could leave and never to have to see their disgusting, traitorous faces again.

When I reached my room, my face was wet with tears. I slammed the door shut with all my might, hoping I’d break it. I paced frantically, holding my arms together to stop them from shaking.