Young Annabelle Series: Young Annabelle, the Truth About James, What My Heart Wants (38 page)

“But he kissed Donna in front of everyone. Have you no pride?” Jenna asked, still horrified and looking very dumbfounded.

The fact that I was an idiot wasn’t new. It was old news that kept repeating. 

“Actually Donna kissed him, it took him by surprise.” I corrected her.

“Were his lips on hers?” Jenna snapped.

“Yes.” I answered timidly.

“Then he was kissing her!” She snipped, blowing fire. “Anna, I can’t believe you talked to that guy, after the way he treated you.”

“He told me that the reason he couldn’t talk to me at school was because of Donna and her hot girl crew, if the boy’s in their group talk to other girls, Donna and her girls are mean to them. He was trying protecting me.”

Jenna’s eyes widened. “Anna, that’s a load of shit!” 

“I believed him.” I practically whispered.

She snorted. “I’m sure you did! What else happened? You guys kissed, fooled around in his car after.”

I looked away. “Something like that.”

“No.” Jenna whispered, hoarsely. “No.”

I gazed back at her. “Things kind of….” I started to explain but she held out her palm for me to stop.

“No.” She whispered again, shaking her head like it wasn’t true. “You didn’t.”

“Surprise,” I told her. “I’m not a….virgin anymore.”

I quickly turned so I wouldn’t have to see her death glare. I felt her hands grip my shoulders tightly. “Oh no you don’t, you look me in the eye, Miss ‘I give douchebag boys everything they want!’.

“Stop!” I snapped. “I really like him. He said yesterday that he was going to be mine.”

“Oh really!” Jenna snorted, unconvinced. “Then where is lover boy? Because I haven’t seen him all day!”

“He didn’t show up to English.” I murmured.

“Well will you look at that, he doesn’t show up to school the day after he gets some from you. Gee, that’s not suspicious at all.” Jenna exclaimed, sounding sarcastic.

“We don’t know why he didn’t show up today. Until I know the truth, I’m not going to judge his actions.” I informed her sternly.

“And if his actions prove dishonest, then what?” Jenna asked, her face bright red now.

“Then I’m done with him, for good. I really mean it.”

She raised an eyebrow, looking bewildered. “I’m not even going to respond to that. All I can say is I kind of knew you wouldn’t just let him go, not if he decided to dip back into your life professing his next lie to get you where he wants you.”

“Why wouldn’t he want to be with me?” I held out my arms, palms facing out.

Her eyes narrowed on me. “What are you talking about?”

“I look good, I lost the weight. My clothes look good on me. Why would he want Donna over me?” I gulped.

Jenna stood silent for once, she didn’t have an answer. After a few seconds, she answered. “I don’t know.”

“I think I look good, he should want me.” I whimpered.

“A smart person would. But I think it’s clear he’s not!” Jenna snipped.

“Well, innocent until proven guilty.” I told her.

“And how are we going to find out whether he is guilty or not.” Jenna asked, looking past my shoulders. Her mom’s blue minivan pulled to the curb. The passenger side window rolled down and her mom yelled through it. “Hello Anna banana! How are you my sweetie!”

“Hi, I’m okay!” I told her with a huge smile, blinking away the slight wetness around my eyes. I loved Jenna’s mom.

“Do you need a ride sweetheart?” Her mom asked me.

“No I’m okay, I need the exercise.” I told her.

“You don’t need the exercise, you’re perfect.” She laughed
, looking at me like I was crazy, but in a nice way.

I laughed back. “Thank you, but I’m okay.”

“Are you sure?” She asked again.

“She’s sure mom!” Jenna answered for me. She turned to her mom. “Mom, I just need a minute to speak with Annabelle, top secret stuff.”

“Oh, okay, got it sweetheart.” Jenna’s mom nodded, understanding right way and rolled the window back up giving us privacy.

“Well?” Jenna pushed. “What’s the plan, how are we going to catch the liar and get you to leave him for good this time!”

“He’s not a liar yet.” I corrected her. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“This time it’s personal, we need to get to the bottom of things in the next few days, if not today. I’m serious! I want blood. I want to rip his ass a new one! He needs to feel pain!” Jenna exclaimed seriously.

I stared at her wide eyed, shocked. “I’m going to try and contact him, if he doesn’t answer me with an explanation, I’ll call you.”

Jenna opened the sliding van door and turned to me. “You better, or else you’re shark bait!” She waved me goodbye and slammed the door shut. Her mom waved at me and drove off.

I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. I needed to hear his voice so he could confirm the mix up with today. That he was at home, sleeping the day away. The line connected and rang for a few seconds, and then abruptly the answering machine came on.

“Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you soon.” James voice took over the receiver. I hung up, not wanting to leave a message.

I decided to text him.

Annabelle:
Hey, where are you?

I waited and waited, but I didn’t get a reply. Disappointed I tucked my phone back inside my bag and walked home with a tiny bit of hope still left in tack, that all of this was just one huge misunderstanding.

I hoped.

God!

CHAPTER
30

I’d been home for a few hours. I didn’t eat any lunch and I’d been on my bed the whole time. A few tears escaped, but I quickly wiped them away. It was too early for those and there wasn’t enough evidence to warrant a cry.

The last cry.

My phone beeped and my heart pounded hard. I hoped that it was James with an explanation.

Please!
I prayed reaching for my phone off the side table. My heart sank when I saw that it wasn’t his name, but then it quickly picked back up when I saw that it was Dean.

Dean!

Dean:
Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t text you yesterday. Coach was angry that we lost and yelled, a lot. I threw the last pitch and your school got a homerun off of it, so coach laid into me especially. Hope you aren’t angry at me for not texting like I said I would.

Annabelle:
It’s okay. I’m sorry your coach yelled at you. Wasn’t it just a practice game, it doesn’t count.

Dean:
Every game counts. Anyways, did you guys have a half day today too? My school did.

Annabelle:
We did too, but I forgot. It was good news though.

Dean:
What are you doing now?

Annabelle:
Relaxing, thinking.

Dean:
Thinking about what?

Annabelle:
Life, making mistakes.

Dean:
I can relate. I keep thinking about a big mistake I made a while ago.

Annabelle:
You wanna share that mistake.

Dean:
When I didn’t call you after that disaster date.

Annabelle:
it’s okay, I’m over it.

Dean:
I’m not. I wish I did things differently.

Annabelle:
I wish I had done some things differently too.

Dean:
Like?

Annabelle:
I’d rather not say it’s embarrassing.

Dean:
I can respect that.  What are you doing tonight?

Oh God!

Was he going to ask me out?

What about James? 

I’d already cried enough over him, maybe I should just move on, quickly.

For real this time.

Annabelle:
Nothing, why?

Dean:
Some of my friends and I are going to see that new action adventure movie, you should come with us, bring your friend too.

I didn’t know what say.

Annabelle:
Can I get back to you about that?

Dean:
Yeah, we’re going to the 7:30 pm show. Text me.

Annabelle:
Okay.

Dean:
GTG, TTYL.

Annabelle:
Later!!!

I dropped my phone back on the side table and tucked my head into my hands. Why was this happening to me? Why couldn’t James be clear with what he’d wanted? Even though I could just be misunderstanding this entire situation and it was really nothing. But for some reason, deep down, I had a feeling things were exactly how they seemed.

He had run away again. Or he thought he could have the best of both worlds.

If that’s the case, he couldn’t!

He couldn’t have the best of both worlds, I wasn’t someone he could walk all over. I already gave him something very important to me last night. I couldn’t believe I gave my virginity to someone I wasn’t a hundred percent sure of.

Even if it had felt right in that moment.

I hoped he was innocent.

At that moment my door bursts open and Jenna steam rolled in. “He’s not innocent!”

I jumped off my bed and quickly shut the door behind her. “Keep your voice down, my parents don’t know about James!” I hissed at her as she planted herself on my desk chair, turning on my laptop.

“Wait – just wait until you see what I have! I have my evidence! He’s so guilty!” She screeched a touch quieter.

“What are you talking about? What do you mean you have evidence to prove he’s guilty?” I asked as my heart ran a mile a second.

No! Please let her be wrong!
I prayed inside as she logged into her Facebook account. Once she’s on her news feed page she turned and faced me. “Guess what I found on Latisha’s Facebook page an hour ago? By the way she didn’t show up for practice this morning either. Not cool.”

“What did you find?” I asked her quietly, slowly.

“All of them, together at some cabin place.” Jenna informed, clicking on Latisha’s page. A window popped up and Jenna scrolled the cursor down to a folder called ‘Our long weekend bitches!’ She clicked on it and ten pictures popped up. I leaned over her shoulder to get a better look. The time was at the bottom and it was taken at 9am this morning. It was their whole group standing in front of one of their cars, a Red Ford Escape. James stood with a huge smile on his face beside his boys. Donna and her hot girl crew were crouched on knees in front of them. Guess who Donna crouched in front of?

“That girl will not quit.” Jenna murmured, shaking her head. “You really believe he hasn’t tapped that too? I don’t know, the way she’s been trying to hand it out to him, it be hard for any guy to resist.”

“He said he hasn’t had sex since meeting me.” I told her, staring at every inch of the photo. They all looked so happy.

Jenna snorted. “Yeah, I don’t believe that.”

“Next picture.” I ordered, disregarding her last statement. Jenna clicked the next picture. It was taken at 10am and it was of Donna and her hot girl crew lounging on a beach in their bikinis.

“Where do you think they went?” Jenna asked.

“Maybe they went to his cabin, he said his parents have one close by.” I told her emotionless. “Next picture.”

She clicked picture after picture, they were all almost the same, their group together hanging out on the beach, looking like they were having the time of their lives. We stared at the pictures for a few minutes until Jenna broke the silence.

“Did you call him?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Did he answer?”

I shook my head. “I got his answering machine.”

“Did it go straight to his answering machine or did it ring first?” She asked like it made a difference.

“It rang first.” I informed her, emotionless.

“I see.” She murmured, inhaling deeply. “Anna, what do you think?”

“I don’t know.” I whispered looking at the floor.

“He didn’t tell you about this trip, and he’s supposed to be yours.” Jenna said, sounding sad. “You can see it right? The truth, its right in front of you what his true intentions are.”

“I don’t know.” I whispered again, still looking at the floor.

“He failed.” Jenna whispered.

“I don’t know.” I murmured.

“He was supposed to show you today, show you that he was serious, that you meant so much to him that he would proudly announce to all his friends that you were his girlfriend, especially after last night.” Jenna said.

I sighed. “Do you think I’ve been played again?”

Jenna was silent for a few seconds before answering. “I think you gave yourself to someone who made you believe he was telling the truth. He told you what you wanted to hear, maybe he even wanted it at that moment, but things changed. He changed his mind, and he obviously doesn’t want to mix you with them.”

“So do you think maybe he just doesn’t want to mix me with them, and it has nothing to do with how he really feels about me?” I asked her, sounding hopeful. I slumped down onto my bed, sitting with my hands curled over my face.

“I don’t know how he feels. But from what I’ve seen, even if he really likes you, he’s still not treating you like you deserve to be treated. And that’s with respect.” Jenna said.

“I have to give him up?” I whimpered, still staring at the floor. I felt her body weight sink beside me. Her hand grasps my shoulder, squeezing it delicately.

“Dude, I love you like a sister. I think if you want to not go crazy, then maybe it’s for the best if you just give him up and find someone who won’t treat you like shit. I don’t know, just my opinion.” Jenna sighed. “He’s not going to change. He’s going to do whatever he wants because he feels like he has that power. He’s a master manipulator, look how he conned you yesterday.”

Tears streamed down my face, dripping down, splashing against my feet. I sobbed quietly, trying to get it all out as fast as possible. Jenna stayed quiet, consoling me with another squeeze to the shoulder.

So this was how things were going to end between us. I told myself that if he failed me again, this time would be the last.

I was devastated.

He promised me!

He told me that it was going to be me and him from now on, in front of everyone. Why was he so scared to show people he cared for me?

I wasn’t that bad.

I had lost weight.

I looked good.

What more was there for me to do to make him believe that everything would okay?

“He’s scared of Donna?” Jenna asked. “Maybe he’s scared of losing all the hot girls’ attention. That asshole is an attention whore!”

I laughed, wiping the tears away from my face. “He really likes being in the spotlight.”

Jenna snorted. “I don’t know about you, but my future man better not be like that. There can only be one diva in that relationship, and it’s going to be me!”

I laughed again. She wasn’t even trying to be funny on purpose, that’s just who she was. “You got that right, you definitely are a diva!”

Jenna bumped her shoulder playfully into mine. “I knew you didn’t have all rocks and air up there Anna!”

“Screw you.” I told her with a small smile.

She leaned in. “Don’t cry anymore okay.”

I nodded wiping the rest of my tears away.

“And the whole virginity thing, are you okay about that? Are you devastated now that you know what you know and you’ve given it to him?” She asked.

I shook my head. “No, I wanted to.”

Jenna rolled her eyes. “I’m sure it was nothing to call the president about anyways.”

“It was pretty good.” I informed her sheepishly.

“Anna!” Jenna jaw dropped. “You’re not supposed to be complimenting his skills. You’re supposed to be downgrading them! Jesus! Have I taught you nothing in life?”

I burst out laughing at her exaggerated tone of voice. “He was horrible in bed and his thingy was a little thingy. I’d barely felt a thing!”

It was Jenna’s turn to burst out laughing. She fell backwards on to my bed, rolling around laughing out hysterically. “That was a good one! That was a real good one! His little thingy!”

I joined her in laughing, falling to the ground rolling around, belting out deep in my belly laughs.

Jenna stopped laughing and turned to face me. I was on my back on the floor. “You feel better?” She asked.

“A little.” I sighed.

“Then it’s a step in the right direction. Hopefully by tonight, you’ll be brand new.” She exclaimed.

“Tonight?” I repeated, stunned.

“Yep!” She chirped sounding sure of herself.

“That quick?” I asked.

“It’s like a Band-Aid, we have to rip it off quickly. The pain will go away soon after.” Jenna explained.

We lay in silence for a few minutes. My mind was still all over the place. I didn’t know what to do now.

“What are you thinking about?” Jenna asked.

“I’m lost.” I informed her.

“You’re not lost, you’re just healing. It’ll ease soon, don’t worry.” Jenna assured.

“I hope so.” I murmured.

All of a sudden Jenna jumped off my bed, clapping her hands wildly. “I have a great idea!”

“I don’t know about that.” I smiled, unconvinced. “What’s the idea?”

“Correction, genius idea.” She announced loudly. “We are about to make things more interesting!”

I jerked upwards into a sitting position. “How so?”

“We are going to move on and we are going to take a lot of pictures looking fabulous and we’re going to put them up on Facebook!” Jenna explained.

“How is that a genius idea?” I asked, still confused.

“Because I’m going to put hot pictures of you having the time of your life on Facebook tonight, I have lots of friends on Facebook one of whom is Latisha, I know shocking but swim team mates for life, anyways, I know that bitch checks my page just as much as I check hers. She’ll see my fabulous night out pictures later tonight, and knowing those girls, they like to gossip.”