You Only (Cameron Farms Book 1) (28 page)

Jasmine gave him a questioning look. “Hale, honey, I need this. OK?” Her voice had turned ragged, asking that of her friend.

“Fine.” Hale gave Jasmine an understanding smile.

The doctor continued giving instructions, and closed by saying that he would send a nurse in with the paperwork in a few minutes.

They all seemed to sense the strained atmosphere in the room.

Finally Hale spoke. “Do you know where my jacket is? I took it off before I went into Wes’s office.”

“I’m assuming it’s a piece of evidence, so the police probably have it. Why?” Finn was only listening with a part of his brain. He didn’t make eye contact.

“My keys, wallet, and phone are in the pockets. Do you think I can get those?”

“I’ll get Moe or Izzy to find out,” Jasmine assured her. “I’m going to go out and tell everybody what’s going on. Then I’m going to get Izzy to pull my car up to the entrance.”

“I should check in with Matt.” Finn told her.

“Oh, you need to go, right now?” She looked sad.

He hated seeing her look that way, lost and hurting. “It can wait.” That came out sounding annoyed, so he tried to soften it by running his hand down her forearm to comfort her. He loved her, but God, he was disappointed in her. Had her mother done so much damage that she couldn’t have a relationship with him?

Jasmine paused by the door and turned to Finn. “You need to stay here. Matt is a big boy and should be handling everything on his own.” She turned on her heel and left the room.

“Will you hold my hand?” Hale asked softly, she searched his face.

He reached over and took her hand.

She closed her eyes. “I’m not going to fall asleep. My head feels funny from the pain meds and it helps if I shut my eyes.”

“Then close them.” He stared at her hand gripped in his. He had always thought that she had beautiful, graceful hands with long slender fingers. Christ, she’d bashed in a man’s skull gripping a fire extinguisher. They looked so small and fragile in his. He shook his head, trying to erase that visual.

Of course, it took longer than a few minutes for the nurse to come in to unhook Hale from the machines. She did doze for a few minutes. Finally, she had signed the paperwork, and was being pushed in a wheelchair to Jasmine’s Mercedes.

Matt was following him, he knew that he was needed for the press conference. Matt was staying quiet, but he could sense his impatience. Duty was calling and had been kept waiting long enough.

The nurse locked the wheels on the wheelchair, and Finn moved quickly to open the car door. “I got this,” he assured the nurse.

He helped Hale stand and move into the sedan. He reached across to fasten her seatbelt.

She shifted on the seat trying to get comfortable.

“I have to go.” He lightly brushed her lips with his.

“I understand,” she told him.

“You’ll come by when you get free.” Jasmine made it sound like a command.

“Sure. I’ll call later to check in,” he promised. He would, after he sorted things out in his head.

Hale woke slowly from her nap. After staring at the ceiling for who knows how long, she tried to sit up. Her body felt heavy, and she really needed to find a toothbrush. Jasmine was a wonderful caregiver. She had arranged for a bag of her things to be packed and delivered. She also arranged for Ashley to spend a night or two at Hale’s house, so that Miller wouldn’t be alone. Maria had invaded soon after she’d arrived at Jasmine’s, to assist in making her comfortable. Poppy and Ashley arrived soon after. When the chaos of so many women trying to care for her became too much, she asked for her pain medication and fell asleep.

She noticed her phone sitting on the bedside table and reached for it. She wanted to see if Finn had called. Disappointment slid through her when she didn’t see his number, yet she understood that he had to be busy with the aftermath of today’s events.

She typed a text to Jasmine: “
I’m up and I need to pee
.”

Her best friend/nurse replied. “
K
”

Just to be difficult, Hale continued. “
Now Jazz! Or you’ll need to change the sheets.”

Her phone beeped. “
OK
.”

Ten seconds later, there was a brief knock on the door and Jasmine came in with Lily Rose right behind her. “You sent me a text? In my own house?” Jasmine was laughing. “When I was two rooms away?”

“Well, I didn’t want to yell, ’cause I really have to go. I remember you telling me not to get out of bed alone, so I thought texting was my best option.” Hale threw back the covers and started shifting to move her legs to the side of the bed.

“Slow down and let me help you.” Jasmine grasped her ankles gently and helped turn her so that she was sitting on the side of the bed. “Lily Rose, go around to the other side and put your shoulder under her arm.”

Hale was a little unstable at first, her body stiff and her legs felt rubbery.

“Are you hurting?” Jasmine was concerned.

“Nope. I feel doped up. A little woozy, those pills are good shit.” She giggled and then laughed harder at herself.

“Stop laughing. If you pee on my carpet, I’m going to be pissed.” Jasmine warned her.

“Oh my God, you just said pissed.” She had to lean against the bathroom door because she was laughing so hard. “I’m stoned,” she told them.

Hale moved her arm from around Lily Rose and held onto the doorframe. “I think there is only room for one of you to help me in there.”

“Mom, that’s your job.” Lily Rose quickly backed away.

“Why don’t you go get the stoner some juice and ask Grandma to make her a snack?” Lily Rose left them. “It might sober you up a little,” she advised.

After taking care of necessary things in the bathroom, including washing her face and brushing her teeth, Hale was back in bed, finishing her snack. “You were right, I was starving.” She had eaten every bit of the cup of fruit salad and slice of freshly baked brown bread that Poppy had prepared.

“That’s a good sign. We’ll be having dinner in about an hour.” Jasmine started clearing the tray and straightening her covers.

“Thanks for all of this.” Hale touched her friend’s hand.

“I’m just glad that you’re here for me to take care of. You know, you could be dead.” Jasmine bit down on her lip, trying not to cry.

“I know what I did was dumb. I stood there and told myself that it was dumb, but I had to help Wes.”

“No more Clint Eastwood movies for you,” Jasmine tried to tease.

“You can yell at me more if you need to, Finn has. I figure that I still have Moe and Izzy to get through. Not to mention Maria and her boys.”

“At least you don’t have to worry about Ashley. She’s impressed. She kept calling you a badass.”

Hale snorted. She checked her phone again. “Um, has Finn called you? To, you know, check in.”

Jasmine shook her head. “No, but I’m sure he is crazy busy. I can turn on the TV so you can see if you made the news.”

She didn’t want to hear about it, she’d lived it. “No thanks, I think I’ll rest for a little bit. I want to join you all at the table for dinner.”

“You’re ready for that?”

“I’ll be ready for it.”

“Honey, I saw the blood on your clothes, it looked pretty bad.” Jasmine was using her “mom” voice, the one where she definitely knew best.

Hale knew that the sooner that she got out of bed and started moving, the quicker she could go home. She didn’t want to impose on the Bentons. “I’ll stop if I get tired or start hurting too much. I promise.” She made sure that she met Jasmine’s eyes.

She’d made it through dinner and went straight to bed. Who knew that eating could be so exhausting? Now, she was awake, again. She checked the clock, it was midnight and she still hadn’t heard from Finn. No call, text, or visit. She made Jasmine promise that if he called, she would wake her, no matter what. She was tired of hearing their excuses for him. Something was wrong.

She carefully rolled to the side of the bed and sat up.
Not too bad
. There was a burst of pain, but it soon lessened. After turning on the bedside lamp, she checked her e-mails, texts, and even read TMZ’s latest news. She was wide awake with no chance of falling back asleep. She got out of the bed cautiously, and headed to the kitchen. Her thigh throbbed, but not enough to cause her to stop. She poured herself a glass of juice and looked out the window. The light was on in Finn’s bedroom. That son of a bitch was across the alley. Why didn’t he check in? Something was very wrong. She blinked her eyes several times to try to stop the burning.

She heard footsteps on the back stairs that led into the mudroom. Izzy was in sweats and a long sleeve Colts thermal shirt. “What are you doing up, honey?” He moved toward her.

“I was trying to be quiet. Did I wake you?” she apologized.

“No, I was just heading to bed, when I thought I heard you moving around. I wanted to check on you.” He walked to the counter and got a glass out of the cabinet.

“Want some juice?” She pointed to the bottle.

“Sure.” Izzy held out his glass.

They drank in silence.

Hale broke the silence. “He’s over there. He didn’t come over to check on me.” Her voice broke.

Izzy looked across the street. The light was still burning on the second floor. “Well, maybe he was worried that he would disturb you, or he could be really tired. You both have had a really crazy day.”

Hale just stared at Izzy’s lame excuses. “No word, Izzy. Not a one.”

Izzy looked out the window and then at Hale. He motioned for Hale to join him at the table. Once seated, he asked, “So what are you going to do?”

“I’m pissed. I’m a few hundred yards away and he didn’t come over.” She ran her hand through her hair.

“Are you going to sit here and be angry while you wait, or are you going to do something about it?” He sounded not curious, but kind of aggravated.

“What do you want me to do, Izzy?” Her frustration sounded clearly.

“You know that he’s awake. You would just need to throw on a jacket and Jazz’s boots, and walk over to his house, to find out what’s going on. If you think that you can make it that far?”

“You mean now?” Hale looked toward the back door. Not a bad plan.

“Guess it depends on how badly you want your answer.” Izzy smiled. “Come on, I’ll help you put on those boots.” The bastard wanted her to go and get the answer.

Hale stood and walked to the mudroom behind Izzy. She laughed and shook her head at her friend. “You know that those boots are too small for me, right?”

“Tough it out, Miss Badass. If you can take on a man with a gun, I think you can handle some boots that pinch a little.”

It wasn’t too cold out; luckily, she was wearing black yoga pants, and a heavy sweatshirt under Izzy’s fleece jacket. Before she crossed the alley to Finn’s backdoor, she paused to pull her cell from her jacket pocket. She hit his number.

It rang twice and then he answered. “Hey.” He didn’t sound tired.

“Open your back door,” she ordered.

“What? Hale?” He sounded surprised, maybe a little confused.

“I’m at your back door, let me in.” She was angry, she would give him one minute and then she would bump his car hard enough to make the alarm sound.

“Now?” Yup, he was clearly confused.

“Now.” She growled. She liked this side of her personality.

Finn opened his backdoor, shaking his head as she pushed past him, limping into his kitchen. It was hard not to grimace as she unzipped Izzy’s jacket. After hanging it on the back of the chair, she dropped onto the seat. It was either sit or fall down. The walk had been a little farther than her body was ready to tackle tonight.

“What are you doing here?” He walked around her and leaned against the counter with his arms crossed.

“I want answers.” She met his look.
Now is not the time to show weakness, don’t think
about your leg. Focus on what is up with your man
.

“Should you be walking around? I thought that you were supposed to rest.” He watched her stretch her leg out in front of her.

“I’m fine. My thigh’s a little sore.” She leaned back in the chair, waiting for him to explain what was going on.

He moved to the table and pulled the chair out across from her. “I’m surprised that Jasmine let you out of the house.”

He was stalling. “Jasmine doesn’t know that I’m over here. I couldn’t sleep, and you haven’t called. I thought I would stop by and check in.”

He looked away from her for a moment, then when he faced her, he did look chagrined. “Yeah, sorry about that. It was crazy at the courthouse, and I thought that it was too late. I didn’t want to wake you.”

She looked away for a few beats, when she spoke, her voice was husky with emotion. “Is that really what’s going on? I mean, I thought that maybe your hands had been cut off, and that was the reason why, you couldn’t spare two minutes to call.” She paused to rein in her frustration. “The Finn that I know would have made time to call. So I’m asking you again, what’s going on?” Her voice got progressively louder, her shaking hands balled in her lap.

Finn started laughing, it wasn’t a nice sound. “You almost got yourself killed today. You were shot and ended up in the E.R. and now you wander over here in the middle of night. You’re fuckin’ crazy.”

“I’ve apologized and admitted how stupid it was. I’m not going to keep saying it.” Finn pursed his lips, a sign that he was frustrated with her.

This was getting her nowhere. So she switched tactics. “I came over here because it’s tearing me apart that you didn’t call today.” She looked away quickly, hoping that he didn’t see how fragile she was feeling.

“I wonder if it feels anything like what I felt when I asked you if you thought about me at all before you ran into that office. Remember, when you didn’t answer?” His tone was mocking and ugly.

Hale felt her eyes get really big. “Christ, Finn…” Her voice cracked. “I didn’t answer because I was ashamed.” Just when she’d had everything that she’d always wanted, she risked getting killed. She risked hurting Finn again. Reviewing those thoughts sent a chill down her spine.

“Ashamed that I caught you in this lie?”

“No. Wait, what lie?”

“Us. Using me again.” He sounded so angry. “Fuck, I must be the most stupid man on the planet.”

“No Finn, no.” She stood and leaned on the table for a moment. She started to limp to him.

“Don’t.” He held up a hand to ward her off, like he didn’t want her to touch him. “You can barely stand, just sit down.”

Surprisingly, she did. “I’m not a liar.”

His face was blank. “I wanted to wait until tomorrow, when you were stronger.”

She cut him off. “Let’s do this now.”

He shrugged. “Suit yourself. It hit me when you admitted that you never gave me or us a thought before you charged in there to confront a desperate man, that you just aren’t invested in this relationship like I am.”

“Have you fuckin’ lost your mind?” she yelled at him. “Jesus, you are so selfish. Somehow this is now all about you?”

“Is it so bad that I want you to think of me first?” His tone had turned shitty.

She wanted to bang her head against the table, Finn could be so frustrating.
Time to spell
it out for the idiot
. “I love you, I always have loved you.”

“Well, you have a weird way of showing it, Hale,” he yelled at her.

“What do you want from me?” Whatever he needed for her to do, she would.

“I’m starting to think that your mother fucked you up really good. To the point where you can love but you can’t be in a relationship.” He watched her. “I need that, Hale. If you are with me then you have to be able to be all in with me.” His hand shook as he started to raise it to his head. He quickly dropped it to his side. “Will it be a matter of months or years before you leave me, again?”

She felt the air whoosh out of her chest. Here is was, again. Her fear and she had done it to herself. She watched him watch her. She wet her lips and started to tell him everything that was in her heart.