一地鸡毛 (4 page)

"He was pretty cool towards me after we asked your friend's husband for help. How can I have the face to ask him again. It wouldn't be much use even if I did!"

"Why wouldn't it? I've thought about it. Don't just blame my friend's husband. That's not the problem—it's the fact that we haven't tried hard enough. In order to get something done just talking won't do. I think we should give him something. Flies like blood nowadays. Will he really try to help without our giving him anything? We have to bleed a little!"

Young Lin says: "I've only seen him a few times, I scarcely know him. I don't even know where he lives. How can we give him things?"

His wife flares up: "From the way you talk about my problem I can tell you are indifferent! What did you give Mrs Qiao when you tried to join the Party? You know how hard up we were at the time. We didn't even have enough money for the child's milk. But still I agreed to your giving her something. Now when it is for my sake, you try to find all sorts of excuses to refuse. Why?"

Her face turns pale. Seeing how serious and angry she's becoming, Young Lin hastens to say:

"Well, well. We'll do it! We'll see what use it'll be!"

That's the end of the conversation. The couple go to work as usual. After coming back from work in the evening, they hurry through their dinner, tell the childminder to take good care of the child and then go to the home of the head of the Qiansanmen unit to give him something. Once they've decided on this, they find it hard to decide what to give. After half an hour strolling around a store, they still can't make up their minds. A small gift is not suitable, while a big one is too expensive. Finally Young Lin's wife sees a piece of handicraft. It's a glass case with several flowers, birds and fish inside, artistic and tasteful at a price of a little over forty yuan. It suits their purpose. But upon further discussion, they decide against it. Would a head of personnel affairs appreciate flowers and birds? It would be bad if he assumed the handicraft was a cheap article worth just ten or so yuan. So they continue with their search. Young Lin's eyes light up when they reach the food and cold drinks counter. He declares:

"I've got it!"

His wife asks,

"What?"

He shows her the piled-up boxes of Coca Cola with a sign which reads: "Big sale: 1.9 yuan per can." The normal price is 3.5 yuan per can. Coca Cola would make a good gift. At the present price, a case of twenty-four cans will cost just over forty yuan. It looks bulky, and is generous and practical as well. The head will love it. But why have they been reduced? His wife says,

"Can it be they are past their sell-by date? If so, they're no good."

They ask the shop assistant. They are not out of date. Strange. It seems that the cans of Coke are waiting there to be presented as a gift. Young Lin says,

"It looks as if we are in luck today, and the matter will be settled successfully. "

His wife perks up and pays for a box right away.

Carrying the box on his shoulder, they catch a bus to deliver the gift. It's 8:30 in the evening when they arrive at the building where the head lives. The timing is perfect. No sooner have they started to climb the stairs than someone is coming down. It's none other than the head. Young Lin hastens to greet him. The head is startled at first. Seeing that it is Young Lin, he smiles at them and says,

"It's you." He is more polite now at the door of his home than in his office.

Young Lin says,

"Uncle Wang, this is my wife. Old Zhang said it was all right for us to trouble you once more about her transfer. "

The head answers,

"I know. As for the transfer, it's OK. with me. The question is whether an office in the unit is willing to accept new staff or not. If you can find an office, just ask them to come to me. Then the matter will be settled. I have something to attend to tonight and the car is waiting outside. Excuse me for not being able to receive you at home."

Their hearts sink at these words. Isn't this as bad as being refused? Only when the head has already left the building does Young Lin remember the box of Coca Cola weighing down on his shoulder. He hastily calls out towards the gate:

"Uncle Wang, I've brought a box of drinks for you."

Laughing the head responds from outside:

"I've got enough drinks. Take them home for yourselves. "

With these words, the car starts up and races away, leaving the couple in the corridor feeling terribly awkward. It's a long time before they feel better. Young Lin throws the box onto the steps:

"Damn it! Even gifts are not accepted!"

He turns to blame his wife:

"I said no and you insisted. Just see how bad it makes us look. "

His wife murmurs repeatedly:

"How could he be so awful! How could he be so mean!"

The two of them make their way home with the box of drinks. The gift has been rejected and their hearts ache over the money spent on it. Wasn't it crazy to pay over forty yuan for a box of Coca Cola to take home! What should they do with it? Send it back to the store? Edible goods are non-refundable after purchase. Drink it? How can they shut themselves up and drink Coke? The wife is clever. Two days later, she opens up the box and after that she often gives the child a can to drink outside. Before this, they didn't buy any drinks, or good-quality hairtail fish. Their child is poorly dressed and they are well-known in the neighbourhood for being hard-up. They did buy hairtail fish once. It was cheap because it was a bit off. The smell seeped into the corridor and the "Indian" woman gossiped about it. Their little girl drinking a can of Coke will be good publicity. It's consoling to think that the box of Coke has some use. But the transfer issue remains a problem which still weighs heavily in their hearts.

3

The Lins have guests today. Young Lin knows it as soon as he walks down the corridor after work, for their door is wide open and the coughing of people from his hometown can be heard. Sure enough, as he steps through the door he sees two of them sitting on the bed in the inner room. They are burnt black from the sun and blue veins stand out on their foreheads. A few canvas bags with the late Chairman Mao's quotations printed on them lie at their feet. The two are smoking and coughing away. The floor is covered with ash and phlegm which they drop and spit about without hesitation. Irritated by the smoke, his little daughter is also coughing and running around in the smoke. Until now, Young Lin has been in a good mood. The newly assigned head of office, Old Guan, though usually very serious in appearance, is actually not a man of ill will. In the discussion about seasonal awards, he decided to give Young Lin a first-grade award. That means an extra fifty yuan. Fifty yuan isn't much, but it's better than nothing. Young Lin can give his wife some happy moments with it. As he hurried home he hadn't expected to see two folks from his hometown instead of his wife. His good mood disappears in an instant, like a fire put out by a bucket of cold water. He should have felt happy to see his own folks. It would be nice just to sit together talking about the old days after so many years of separation. But they come so often that he can't feel happy or want to talk about the past with them. On the contrary, these visits have become a burden. The guests should be entertained, shouldn't they? It would cost at least several dozens
kuai
each time. The family budget can't stand such frequent visits. Besides, these guests are different from old classmates and friends who will excuse you if they are not properly looked after. Although they are burned black with blue veins standing out on their foreheads, although they are from the countryside, the guests are very particular about courtesy.If not satisfactorily received, they'll be displeased and, say things against you when they go back home. According to them, if you live in Beijing, you are naturally obliged to entertain them. They don't understand that in Beijing Young Lin has the lowest economic status, one of those who have to queue for bean curd each morning. He cooks two more dishes for the meal just because guests have to be entertained. Seeing how they sometimes put on airs, Young Lin can't help feeling annoyed and amused simultaneously. What do you eat back home in the countryside? It would have been easier for him to handle if a meal is all that has to be provided. More often than not, the guests assign him different tasks to do after the meal, such as getting hold of goods and materials, securing chemical fertilizers, buying trucks, going to court and buying train tickets for their departure. Where is he to go to acquire the ability to fulfil all these tasks? He can't get his wife transferred to another work unit or even get his gift accepted. How can he possibly help others with a lawsuit or purchase of a truck? To get a train ticket, he has to queue at the Beijing railway station just like everybody does.

Being concerned at first about saving face, he felt they would look down on him if he told them that he wasn't able to help them with any of those things, so he agreed to have a try. But more often than not, he tried to no avail. Although his former classmates had been assigned to work in different units, they were mere newcomers, far from a position in which they might exercise power. How could he possibly succeed? In the end losing face was unavoidable. Later he became wiser and learned to say "No, I can't do it!" It would make people look down upon him. It's true. But they would do so anyway, sooner or later. Allowing himself to be looked down upon sooner would save him a lot of trouble. Nevertheless, they keep on coming in a steady stream. A meal is the minimum he must provide.

What makes the matter more complicated is that Young Lin's wife has an urban background. Relations in cities are much simpler than in the countryside and very few guests from her side visit them. By contrast, visitors from his side come all the time and they always stay for meals. What also makes Young Lin feel embarrassed is that being from the countryside, they don't pay attention to their manners. They flick cigarette ash and spit indiscriminately. To be fair, his wife can be counted as a liberal regarding these matters. In the beginning she kept silent. When the number of visitors grew and receiving them became more routine she felt she couldn't bear it. Later when they had guests again, she would assume an unhappy expression and wouldn't buy food or cook. He blamed his wife for not showing due respect for his feelings, but at the same time he also felt that his wife had good reason to be unhappy. He himself would have been the same if he was in his wife's shoes. So he blamed the guests for not bringing credit to his hometown, which consequently made people despise him, too. His hometown is like a big tail which the guests constantly raise to expose his shame and to serve as a reminder to people that he is from the countryside. The "Indian" woman, their neighbour opposite, once remarked: "Look at the countrified Lin family. It's full of rustics. " Young Lin's wife later got to hear the remark and was really upset by it. So he is in constant fear of more visitors from his hometown, especially when he leaves work for home each day. Sometimes he is at home, and he hears an accent other than a Beijing one which puts him on tenterhooks, and he rushes to the balcony to find out whether "the accent" is approaching his stairway. Only after he has confirmed that it isn't can he breathe. Although he doesn't want visitors from his hometown, he does wish that some would come from his wife's side. If any should come, he appears unusually warm toward them so as to offset the constant visits from his own side and make his wife feel psychologically balanced. But few of his wife's relatives come to visit and he always has a guilty conscience. His parents didn't understand Young Lin's feelings about the visitors. They felt that they could flaunt their son being in Beijing and would say: "My son's in Beijing. Go and ask him for help." Young Lin found it hard for him to be cold toward these visitors. After a long stretch of frequent visits, he realized that the warmer he was, the more visitors he had. He learned his lesson and ceased to be warm any more, which made the folks from home feel slighted and displeased. Back home, they would accuse him of having forgotten his origins. If they think he has forgotten them, well, he has forgotten them. What's there in his origins worth yearning for? He wrote to his parents telling them that he was very busy and hard up, too. He asked them not to parade him and his home in front of people. When he had finished writing the letter, he showed it to his wife. But she didn't show any gratitude. Spitting at the floor, she said:

"If I had known that your family was like that, I wouldn't have married you!"

Young Lin flared up. Pointing at his wife, he shouted:

"I explained to you my family background. You said you didn't mind. Why do you talk as if I've cheated you!"

Despite their quarrels, visitors arrive as usual. Because they will come despite anything, his wife gradually gets used to them. Once she does, the visits become second nature to her. She reveals no more than an unhappy face. Young Lin is satisfied and conscientious: to a meal for his guests, he adds nothing but two popular dishes, one of them fish or chicken, and no alcohol. If they are displeased, so be it. It's better that than an unhappy wife.

However, this time Young Lin feels he simply can't add just two dishes for today's guests. One of them is old and the other young. At first he did not recognize them and asked which village they were from. On hearing the old man's voice, he knew him at once as his primary school teacher. His surname is Du. Young Lin studied with him for five years. He taught mathematics and Chinese. One winter, being a mischievous boy, Young Lin stole out of the classroom during a self-study period to play on the ice. The ice broke and he fell into the water. After he was rescued, the teacher didn't scold him. Instead, he quickly took off Young Lin's wet clothes and wrapped him in his own padded coat. The good teacher is now in his home after more than ten years' separation. Young Lin cannot help feeling excited. He walks over to shake hands with him: "Teacher!"

Seeing how pleased he is, the teacher becomes pleased too. Holding his hand, he said: "Young Lin! I wouldn't recognize you if I met you in the street. "

He hastily introduces the young man as his son.

After the excitement has died down, Young Lin asks his teacher what they've come to Beijing for. The answer makes him worry. His teacher has been suffering from pulmonary emphysema. The hospital in their hometown is a low level one and cannot tell for certain whether his disease has degenerated into lung cancer. Of all his students, Young Lin has turned out the best in terms of where he is working, Beijing. And so, accompanied by his son, he has come to Young Lin for help to recommend a hospital that will diagnose his disease. If it is cancer, he'd better stay in hospital for treatment.If it's pulmonary emphysema, he hopes to have an operation. Thinking hard, Young Lin says: "Let's take time to discuss it. Let's take time to discuss it. "