Yes Please (27 page)

¹⁸
  
Note from Mike:
I think the best character ever written for you is Jeff Goldblum’s part in
Independence Day
. Or maybe Fagin in Oliver! Is this helping?

I had a long discussion with my husband, Will, and I will be forever grateful that he agreed to move our family out to Los Angeles to allow me to give this show a try. We shot six episodes in a row instead of the usual method: shooting a pilot, then spending a month editing it, then thinking about stuff for a few months, then the oracle, then writing and shooting the next episodes months later. Also, due to the timing of my pregnancy, we became probably the only show to ever willingly give up the coveted post–Super Bowl slot. Before we started shooting, I was feeling dumpy and exhausted, overwhelmed and sad. I was still grieving not being at
SNL
and recovering from my rough delivery. And I was lost in Los Angeles, a city I still can’t quite figure out.
¹⁹
I spent a lot of time crying. I was scared I wasn’t funny. I missed New York and my new baby at home. I wasn’t being a good wife to my husband. I had a full face and round body. It had been a while since I had been asked to settle into one character for longer than a month, and I kept warning Mike and Greg that my performance might be too loud, like when you turn on your car and the radio is already going full blast.

¹⁹
  
Note from Mike:
No one can. Don’t even try. It’s Chinatown, Poehler.

Once we started to cast the show, what was fuzzy became sharper. Rashida Jones, Aubrey Plaza, and Aziz Ansari came on board early. Chris Pratt and Nick Offerman later. Retta, Jim O’Heir, and Paul Schneider rounded out our first mini-season of
Parks and Recreation
. Eventually we would be joined by Rob Lowe and Adam Scott and the circle would be complete. I don’t remember much about those first shows. I started feeling my groove after a few episodes. I realized the cast was beyond talented and would eventually become like family. I constantly searched for Mike’s face when I was nervous. But the thing I do remember clearly is a small scene I did in the pilot episode. It’s raining and Leslie is standing and looking outside her office window. In voice-over, she speaks about how this park project is going to take a lot of work and last a long time, but it will be worth it.

21 LESLIE TALKING HEAD

B-roll: Leslie staring out her office window at the small courtyard that serves as her “view.”

LESLIE

I’ve been in the Parks Department for six years, and I’ve handled some things I’m proud of. For example, last year I led the city-wide drive to disinfect the sandbox sand after those problems with the cats. I heard some testimony from mothers of toddlers that would make you cry. But this pit! The chance to build a new park, from scratch . . .

(she thinks)

This is my Hoover Dam.

I remember standing and watching the props guys make it rain in our fake outside courtyard as we shot the B-roll part of that scene—the shot of Leslie from outside the window that the audience would see as she spoke those words. I listened to the words being read aloud by Greg and Mike, and realized this was my new job. A tiny whisper, no louder than the Who that Horton hears, told me we were going to make it. I believed.

We almost didn’t make it. That first year was rough. Critics compared us to
The Office,
and not kindly. Our ratings were okay but not great.
Deadline Hollywood
decided to publish our pilot testing results, which was basically like having someone publish the worst parts of your diary.
²⁰
According to testing, a lot of people liked it when “that Parks lady fell into the pit.” It wasn’t a good sign when people wanted the show’s lead character to fall into a hole. We regrouped. We changed a little. We figured out what worked and soldiered on. Network presidents came and went as we hung on for dear life. Some liked us more than others. Some canceled us on airplanes, only to change their minds before landing. Critics started to watch the show again and notice new things.

²⁰
  
Note from Mike:
Good analogy. I think of it more like a restaurant critic bursting into a kitchen, eating a half-cooked meal, and then writing a review. “The chicken was undercooked!” The only good thing about that cheap shot—both the leaking of it and the crummy decision to print it without even calling us for comment—is that Louis CK came to our defense in the comments section, and joined us as Leslie’s boyfriend early in season 2.

We kept our heads down and did our jobs. We controlled the only thing we could, which was the show. We did the thing. Because remember, the talking about the thing isn’t the thing. The doing of the thing is the thing.

In season 2 we started to gain momentum. Critics put us on lists and we were nominated for awards. Everyone realized we would never be a ratings juggernaut, but we just kept plugging along as we watched new NBC show after NBC show die on the table next to us. To be fair, we were often on life support ourselves. We would finish a season never really knowing if we would have another one, so Mike would always push the writers to take big swings and let characters evolve and change. Rob Lowe and Adam Scott joining us made us better and less likely to get canceled. We just kept doing it.

Mike would call me in July every summer and pitch me the upcoming season’s story line for Leslie. I can’t explain the joy and relief I felt, sitting on a porch in my Nantucket rental, swatting bugs and hearing about what was ahead. After spending years trying to generate my own material at
SNL,
this felt like someone was picking me up and carrying me Jesus/”Footprints” style.
²¹
Leslie got to run for office, fall in and out of love, fight for her town, and eat waffles with her friends. I got to write and direct episodic television for the first time. I got to work with people like Louis CK, Megan Mullally, Fred Armisen, Patricia Clarkson, Will Arnett, and Detlef Schrempf. I have sex stories about all of them but I am saving those for my next book.
^22
23

²¹
  
Note from Mike:
My grandfather really wanted me to be a deity, and this analogy is the closest I will ever get, and so for that I thank you.

²²
  
Note from Mike:
Your seven-year, real-life “will they, won’t they” saga with Detlef Schrempf could fill a hundred volumes.

²³
  
Note from Mike annotating previous note:
This is a joke. He is married I think. Hi, Detlef! (He’s definitely reading this right now.)

In the middle of season 2, I got pregnant again. I was excited and surprised.
²⁴
This meant that we had to sort of force NBC’s hand and try to get them to agree to shoot more episodes before I really blew up. With its cameras-looking-everywhere shooting style,
Parks and Recreation
was not the kind of show where you could hide a pregnant belly behind a few bags of groceries. We got an early pickup for season 3, and as soon as season 2 ended we just kept rolling and shot some extra episodes that we would bank for the beginning of the next year. If you have any doubt as to what a great actor Adam Scott is, go back and watch him join a show and immediately figure out how to flirt with a tired pregnant lady. It’s not easy. If I have learned anything from hip-hop, it’s that there’s nothing sexy about a baby that ain’t yours.

²⁴
  
Note from Mike:
So was I. Probably not in the same way.

Season 3 found us fighting for our right to party. We had been pushed to midseason, which is usually not exactly a vote of confidence from the network. The story line was all about a government shutdown, so both Amy and Leslie were frustrated about not getting back to work. The whole time Mike kept reminding me to keep my head down and control the only thing I could, which was the work. Somehow we survived.

Season 4 was all about Leslie’s running for city council. The wonderful Paul Rudd and Kathryn Hahn joined us for a while. Leslie won. We all won. We soldiered on.

Seasons 5 and 6 were about the frustrations of Leslie Knope’s new job. They also were about Ben and Leslie finally getting married and pregnant. They dealt with Ann and Chris leaving, Andy and April trying to figure out what they wanted, Donna finding love, and Tom entering a new business venture. I forget what happened with Jerry.

We had Sam Elliott, Michelle Obama, and Ginuwine on our show.

I can’t believe we have done all these episodes and of course I can believe it because I always knew we would. (It’s a miracle.)

In season 5, Leslie kicks off the season by visiting Washington, DC. Her boyfriend, Ben, decides to surprise her by setting up a meeting with her ultimate crush, Vice President Joe Biden. We shot that scene with Vice President Biden in his ceremonial office on the grounds of the White House, and he was charming and funny and a true pro—he didn’t even flinch when Leslie slightly leaned in for a kiss. That’s some old-school improv commitment right there. While we were walking out of the building, we learned that our show, which had been talked about as a front-runner for winning the Emmy for best comedy, did not even get nominated. We were upset, because as we know, no matter how much you think you don’t want the pudding, once people start telling you that you might get the pudding it makes you want that pudding bad. Instead of being upset, Mike said, “I am going to go write the scene where Ben proposes to Leslie.” He went back to his hotel room and wrote this.

INT. LESLIE AND BEN’S NEW HOUSE—NEXT DAY—DAY 3

Leslie and Martha the real estate lady.

MARTHA

Anything I can do to change your mind?

LESLIE

Sadly, no. My boyfriend might not be able to move back for a while, so . . . I have to back out. I just wanted to look at it one more time.

MARTHA

I can’t give you your deposit back.

LESLIE

I know.

MARTHA

And there’s a three hundred dollar penalty for—

LESLIE

All right, Martha. I get it.

She moves around the apartment, sadly. Then turns around—

LESLIE (CONT’D)

Actually, is there any way—

Ben is standing there.

LESLIE (CONT’D)

What?! Hey! I didn’t know you were—

He gets down on one knee. Looks up at her. Takes her hand.

LESLIE (CONT’D)

Oh my God. What are you doing?

BEN

Thinking about my future.

He opens a ring box. Leslie GASPS.

BEN (CONT’D)

I am deeply, ridiculously in love with you. Above everything else, I want to be with you, forever. So, Leslie Knope, w—

LESLIE

Wait!!!!!

He freezes . . .

LESLIE (CONT’D)

Just . . . I need to remember this. Just wait a second. Please.

He does.

BEN

. . . Leslie Knope, w—

LESLIE

No no no—hang on. One second longer. Please. I have to remember everything. Every tiny little thing, about how perfect my life is, right now, at this exact moment.

She looks all around. Ben smiles. Waits.

BEN

You good?

LESLIE

I think I am good, yes.

BEN

So, I can . . . ?

LESLIE

Yes. I am ready.

BEN

Leslie Knope, will you—

LESLIE

Yes.

She attacks him and kisses him for a really long time.

BEN

—marry me. Okay good.

They kiss again.

He also wrote these vows in the wedding episode:

TOM

We are gathered here tonight to join Leslie Barbara Knope and Benjamin Walker Wyatt in matrimony. It’s been a long and winding road for these two, and they’re so impatient to begin their lives together, they moved their wedding date up by three months. So I say, let’s keep this short.

ANN

Hear, hear!

TOM

I assume—and hope—they have prepared their own vows. We’ll hear first from Ben.

BEN