WRECKED: GODS OF CHAOS MC, BOOK FOUR (16 page)

For my father to have pulled it out meant this had to be a huge deal.

I guess the two dead men on the kitchen floor was another indication that this was a big deal, too, but for some reason, sitting in my mother’s car was even more disturbing.

Moments later, my father raced outside and motioned for me to scoot over. I did so and he slid in, put the car in drive, and roared down the alley as fast as he could.

When the house exploded behind us, I thought the world had ended.

Turns out it was only
my
world that had ended that night.

Nothing was the same after that.

And now here I was, sitting next to Jesse as Lacey applied makeup to his scars and he didn’t even know I was still alive.

I’d hoped when he looked into my eyes, he would know it was me. I’d hoped when I kissed him, when he kissed me back, when our bodies responded to each other with such intensity, he would know it was me.

But he didn’t.

He didn’t look at me with recognition. He looked at me with lust, hunger, desire - sure. But any hint that he recognized me as Frankie never registered on his face, as far as I could see.

Now, time was ticking. I knew if I kept up this facade much longer, he’d be even more hurt that I hadn’t told him right away. But something kept holding me back.

So, my mouth had stayed shut and my secret remained my own.

At least for now.

I’d given up trying to predict the future.

Instead, I sat back and watched the burliest makeover in fashion history.

“Riot! Go shave! Now!” Ryder ordered. Riot had been sitting in the opposite corner from me, trying to blend into the scenery, his hand protectively stroking his long beard. He rose to his feet and headed towards the bathroom, his shoulders hunched over like a man walking to his death.

“Look at that!” Lacey said, handing Wreck a mirror. My heart skipped a beat when I saw his face. The scar had faded almost completely away and suddenly, I was transported to the past and staring right at my beloved Jesse again.

“Damn, I look so young,” he said, touching his face.

“The years beat you up, trust me,” Doc grunted. “But you look good kid. Don’t worry, though, those scars give you character. Nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Yeah, I know,” Jesse said, his voice sounding far away. The look in his eyes told a story, though. If I was thinking about the past, I knew he had to be, too. His eye caught mine in the mirror. I held his gaze, drinking in the vision of the ghost of young Jesse.

If only we could go back. If only I stayed in his truck that night, let him take me off into the middle of nowhere and make love to me all night, like we both wanted to do. If only I had ran back out the front door and flagged him down when I saw the chaos inside.

But we can’t go back. We’re here - right here, right now.

All we have is this moment. Nothing else is guaranteed, not even tomorrow.

I smiled at him in the mirror, remembering the heat of his kiss earlier, shivers of electricity running through me.

I’d never in a million years thought I’d get to kiss Jesse again, but I had.

No matter what happens, I at least had that.

“I liked the scars,” I said to him, shrugging.

A slow smile spread across his face and a ripple of pleasure floated through me.

“Thanks, Vanessa,” he said. He handed the mirror back to Lacey and walked over and sat beside me. It felt good to be next to him. We watched in silent amusement as Lacey held up a pair of scissors in the air, scanning the room.

“Alright, who’s next?”

“Goddammit,” Doc grumbled, meandering slowly over and sitting in front of her. “Let’s do this, but make me look like George Clooney, okay?”

Wreck

Seeing myself without that huge fucking scar on my face was disturbing, to say the least. I’d grown to love that scar. It reminded me not to fuck up again. It reminded me how thin the veil between the living and the dead are. It reminded me that I’d grown up.

It was a symbol of the fork-in-the-road I’d been faced with. It was a big, red, angry, silent fuck you to the person I used to be and it was a part of me now that I wasn’t willing to let go of. I didn’t care if it made me look like a scary thug. I didn’t give a shit about any of that.

It served its purpose to me and that was all that mattered.

When Vanessa said she liked it she won some serious points with me, whether she knew it or not. Fuck, she’d won some serious points with me with those insanely hot kisses, too. I’d have felt bad about it, and maybe I did at first, but after a few minutes, I just said fuck it. It felt too good. It felt fucking right.

I mean, fuck, I know it doesn’t make any sense. We barely knew each other, this whole thing was a seriously fucked up scenario on its own, we probably didn’t need to be complicating it by dry humping in the woods, but jesus christ! What was I expected to do when I had a woman like that kissing me?

She certainly wasn’t complaining, that’s all I’m saying.

If it was so bad and wrong then it wouldn’t have felt so fucking amazing.

So whatever. We kissed.

And I had every intention of doing it again.

In addition to waking up my body, I had to admit, it was having another effect on me, too. Maybe it was the dopamine being released into my brain, I don’t know, but the stifling blanket of depression had begun to lift and that felt even better than the lust.

I was actually smiling.

“You want to go outside for a minute?” I asked Vanessa. I could hardly take my eyes off of her. Being in the same space with all these grumbling dudes was not my idea of the best way to spend our time together.

“Yeah, sure,” she said, grabbing her drink and following me towards the front door.

Doc had just sat down in front of Lacey and Ryder was filming his haircut for prosperity. Doc looked like he was about to be shot.

“Someone give me a shot of whiskey!” he demanded. His wild curls danced one last bouncing waltz around his head before Lacey’s scissors cut off the first curl. A chorus of applause echoed behind us as we walked out onto the dark, front porch.

“Shit!” I exclaimed, startled by two pairs of huge blinking eyes sitting on the railing. “They fucking scare me every single time,” I said to a giddy Vanessa. She was idling up to them slowly, a huge smile spread across her face.

“Hello, there,” she whispered, as she neared. Olivia cocked her head to the side, her big eyes watching Vanessa approach. By the time she’d gotten a foot away, I was sure they’d fly away, because they always did. But she inched closer, until her outstretched hand was inches from Olivia’s head. Oliver watched from her side, his big eyes full of curiosity.

Vanessa’s hand landed softly on Olivia’s tiny head and Olivia closed her eyes in ecstasy as Vanessa stroked her head. My mouth dropped in shock.

“You are both so beautiful,” Vanessa whispered, her hand reaching over to pet Oliver, too. But he wasn’t having it. With a startling swoosh, he rose in the air, flapping his wings over our heads frantically, his long claws flailing through the air.

Vanessa screamed and ran back towards me while Olivia flew off after him up into the dark trees.

Vanessa retreated into my arms and I wrapped them around her protectively.

“You okay?” I asked, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah,” she said, shaking her head. “I probably shouldn’t have done that.”

“I can’t believe she let you touch her at all,” I said.

“Me, either, honestly,” she said.

“Well, you must be good people,” I said. “They can sense that shit.”

“Honestly, I don’t really know what kind of people I am,” she whispered into my chest. I pulled her back, staring down into her eyes.

“I do,” I said.

“You do?”

“Yeah, you’re kind and funny and strong as hell,” I answered. She looked up at me, her beautiful eyes shining in the moonlight, her blonde hair shimmering under the porch lights.

“Thanks,” she replied, biting her lip. “That’s kind of you to say.”

“It’s just what I see,” I shrugged.

“What else do you see?” she asked, pressing her curvy breasts into my chest seductively. My cock hardened in my pants instantly.

I groaned in pain, in lust, my body reacting to her like she’d put a match to it. I dipped my head, my lips capturing hers, my tongue parting her lips until she let me inside. My arms wrapped tighter around her, pulling her into my body. I never wanted to let her go, her lips were so warm, so inviting, so damned open to me that I wanted to crawl inside of her forever.

Which was just what I was going to do at this very instant if I didn’t stop kissing her.

“Damn, woman,” I growled, pulling away hesitantly, shaking my head. “I don’t know what it is about you but you set my whole body on fire.”

A slow, seductive smile lit up her face, her eyes sparkling with mischievousness.

“The last thing I want to do is give these guys a show,” I said, gesturing towards the door. “Doc really gets off on watching.”

She bursted out in laughter and once again, my heart stopped. Her laugh was like a knife to the gut every single time. Her laugh. Frankie’s laugh. Whatever it was.

I shook my head, shaking out the cobwebs that formed in my mind, and turning my attention back to Vanessa. I smiled and began laughing myself, submitting to her contagious, infectious giggles.

It was getting a little easier every time to push the thought of Frankie away, and a faint twinge of guilt nagged at the back of my mind about that fact.

“Hey,” I said, pulling her back into my arms, my throbbing cock pressing against her hips. “How about we get out of here tomorrow? Go to the beach or something.”

Her eyes lit up like a kid’s.

“I’d love to!” she said, raising up on her tiptoes and kissing my lips quickly.

“Great, it’s a date then, I know this really awesome place,” I said, smiling down at her before pulling her in for another kiss. Her lips were like the sweetest, most irresistible ambrosia, melting away all the sadness of the past, all the worries for my future, leaving nothing but the two of us holding each other under the moonlight, our mouths searching for something that I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to name. Was it peace? Comfort? Connection?

Maybe it was all of it.

Maybe I’d found it.

My cock twitched again as our kisses turned harder and more passionate. I was on the verge to saying to hell with everyone and taking her there on the porch anyway, but the scream that came from inside the cabin startled us both out of our blissful escape.

“Riot!” Lacey screamed. Vanessa and I rushed back inside and saw Lacey standing in the middle of the room, a pair of scissors fallen to the ground amidst locks of Doc’s hair. Riot stood in front of her - or at least a man that looked slightly like Riot.

His face was shaved completely clean and Lacey’s mouth was hanging open in shock.

“Hey, I never said I was pretty under that beard,” Riot said, shrugging.

“What did you do with my boyfriend?” Lacey asked.

“Don’t worry baby,” he said, with a teasing wink. “My cock looks the same.”

“Riot!” she cried, hitting him in the arm, a faint red blush creeping up her cheeks.

“What you think they don’t know we fuck?” he asked, as everyone started laughing. Lacey shook her head and hid her face in Riot’s chest.

“Damn, boy, you’re a whole different man under there,” Ryder said to him.

“I’ve just got one thing to say, Ryder,” Riot said.

“What’s that?”

“This shit better work!” he roared, the room erupting in laughter again.

“Hey, y’all,” Doc said, staring into the mirror, admiring his own new haircut. His grey curls were cropped close to his head, his beard was trimmed close and he looked like a totally different person, too. “Who’s career am I going to ruin first with all this handsomeness? George Clooney’s or Brad Pitt’s?”

Ryder

I sat out on the porch after all the excitement of the night had passed, contemplating how far we’d all come. Just a few short years ago, I was a miserable son of a bitch running guns and drugs and dealing with the most dangerous of criminals, just to pay the bills and keep my father’s legacy alive. Now, I was sitting here under a full moon with a straight-edge haircut and waiting for a fucking suit to arrive.

Everything was different now. But it was so much fucking better.

I took a drag off the joint I’d rolled earlier, inhaling the sweet intoxicating smoke. Hell, even weed was legal in Oregon now. My old man would roll over in his grave if he knew that.

The screen door creaked, followed by the familiar slow, dragging footsteps of Doc’s boots. He sat down beside me and I passed the joint to him.

It was a clear night, a night where you could see every star in the sky. It’d been like that the night I’d found Grace and every time I saw a sky full of stars, I thought of that night. I had no idea that dragging her back to my cabin would change my entire life. But I was damned glad it had.

“Can you believe this shit?” Doc said, exhaling. “Short hair. Clean shaven. Shit.”

“I think you look downright distinguished, Doc!”

“Now you know my secret, Ryder. I’ve been covering up this mug because it’s just way too fucking handsome for the general public. I’ve been doing a service to everyone. You watch, panties are gonna start dropping everywhere! Don’t say I didn’t warn you, brother!” I burst out laughing and we sat there, passing that joint back and forth, enjoying the quiet of the night together.

After a few minutes, he whistled, the shrill sound echoing off the trees, as he shook his head. “Shit, what would your old man think?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I like to think he’d be proud of us, Doc.”

Doc had been by my side every step of the way. He was one of the only original members of the Gods left and he’d been good friends with my old man.

“He would, Ryder,” he agreed, nodding his head. It was weird to see his head moving without those crazy fucking curls flying around. I couldn’t help but smile.