WRECKED: GODS OF CHAOS MC, BOOK FOUR (13 page)

“No!” he cried, tearing his mouth away and pushing me back with his arms. “I’m so sorry, Vanessa. We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Why?” I asked, my lips begging to be close to his again.

“Because, because - I - well, you - fuck!” he roared, removing his hands from my arms and walking away and facing the water. I watched his shoulders slump, before he turned back to me.

“This isn’t what we’re about. Solid Ground,” he said, his voice ragged with emotion. “I shouldn’t be taking advantage of you like this.”

“Are you kidding me?” I asked. “But I kissed you first.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s right,” he said. “Look, you’ve been through a lot. The last thing you need is getting mixed up with me.”

“You don’t seem so bad,” I replied, my voice now soft and sad.

“That’s not what I meant,” he growled, his eyes landing on my lips. I licked them, hoping to seduce him into kissing them again. The heat that rolled off his body only made me want to get closer to him, I wanted to bathe in it, wrap myself up in it like a blanket and never come out.

“Well,” I answered. “I liked it, for what it’s worth.”

He growled again, shaking his head.

“I liked it, too,” he whispered.

“Good,” I said, staring up at him, willing him to kiss me again.

“Fuck,” he shook his head once more, his eyes searching mine deeply.
Does he see me?
I wondered.
Did he recognize my kiss?

Whatever he was looking for, he must have found it, because his lips came crashing down again and possessed mine with the hunger of a starving man. I moaned, leaning into him as he wrapped his huge, tattooed arms around me, pulling me in while he kissed me even deeper than before, his mouth searching mine like a lost man searching for the light.

Slade

The flashing lights from the neon signs outside of Diana’s condo in downtown Portland poured in through the window of her bedroom. I rolled over in bed and pulled her naked body close to mine. We’d made love and fallen right to sleep afterwards, somehow drifting away from each other in the process. But fuck that. Now that I was awake, I needed her as close to me as possible.

She stirred, gently moaning and resting her head on my shoulder. My heart swelled with love and my cock swelled with lust all at the same time.

“Baby, I gotta have you one more time,” I muttered, pulling myself on top of the beautiful curvy masterpiece that served as a vessel to her sweet, perfect soul. She smiled a lazy smile and spread her legs, welcoming me into her softness in one smooth stroke.

“Fuck, I love you so much,” I groaned, before taking her mouth in mine, kissing her with all the passion inside of me. Almost two years had passed since our journey began, and my need for her only grew over time. At this point, I was obsessed.

But why wouldn’t I be? As I moved inside of her, pulling the pleasure from her body with every strong, intentional stroke, I couldn’t help but think about how incredibly fucking amazing she was. Not only had she become my best friend, but she’d given me the best gift a man could ask for.

A family.

I’d never loved anything the way I loved Diana and Jeremiah. My heart exploded every day, with every thought of them.

Her thighs wrapped around my hips and I sped up, swelling inside of her, her sweet soft pussy squeezing around me. I groaned as I tried to prolong the pleasure, but every time she did that little rhythmic squeezing, I fucking lost it like a teenager.

She knew it, too. I think she got some secret amusement to reducing me to a pile of quivering flesh, but that’s okay. As far as I’m concerned, she can do whatever she wants to me.

Her moans quickened with my pace and I reached down, gently rubbing her swollen clit, until she was writhing below me, her soft whimpers shooting straight to my gut until she was crying out in pleasure. I let go, gripping her hips.

“Come on, baby, that’s it,” I prodded, whispering in her ear as I drilled into her harder, my fingers digging into the soft flesh next to her hip bones.

“Yes!” she cried, “Oh, Slade, my god, yes, faster, harder!”

“That’s what I like to hear, baby, give me all you’ve got, just let go, baby.” She spasmed around me, gripping me like a vice, her sweet, spasming pussy so hot and wet that I could barely stay in. I leaned back, pressing harder into her center, watching her face flush with the heat of pleasure.

She fell back on the pillow, laughing with pure ecstasy as she opened her thighs wider, allowing me to take the pleasure from her warm sex that she knew I needed. Now that she’d come, it was my turn.

I hammered into her, drinking in the pure beauty of her perfect curves, my body shivering with need and lust as I growled loudly, the pleasure spilling from my cock in a hot wave inside of her. She squeezed her thighs around me again, pulling me in as much as she could as I slumped against her, a slight sheen of sweet slippery sweat between us.

“That was fucking amazing,” I muttered, my heart hammering in my chest, my entire body spent and exhausted.

“It always is, my love,” she answered, kissing me in the darkness, the neon lights flashing over our naked bodies.

“You want some water?” I asked, untangling myself from her.

“Sure,” she said, lazily watching me as I threw on my boxers and walked to the bedroom door. I walked out to the kitchen, staring into our fridge.

“Daddy?” A soft voice sounded behind me.

I turned around and broke out into a huge smile as I walked to Jeremiah’s room. He was standing in his crib, his arms outstretched towards me.

“Hey, buddy!” I said, picking up my son and hugging him tightly. “What are you doing awake?”

“Wa-wa?” he asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes. I stared down at him with a huge sense of pride and love. He was born with a big head of blonde hair and he looked exactly like me, if I do say so myself. He was just starting to learn to talk and I knew exactly what ‘wa-wa’ meant.

“Sure, of course you can have some water, baby,” I replied, carrying him back into the kitchen with me. I sat him down on the counter and poured him a cup of water, bringing it to his tiny little handsome face and watching him drink.

Diana walked out, her beautiful body covered up with a black, silk robe, much to my dismay.

“Mama!” Jeremiah said, throwing his arms up in the air. She reached over and picked him up, kissing him on the cheek.

“Hi, Slade, what are you doing up this late?” she asked, pulling him in for a hug. She held him while he drank his water, and I drank in the sight of the two of them together.

“I am the luckiest motherfucker in the world,” I said, beaming at the two of them. There was a time when I was the most miserable motherfucker in the world, but not anymore. Gone were the days of being a curmudgeonly skirt-chasing ass-kickin’ prick. Now, I was a family man.

I thought I’d never see the day that I’d settle down, but apparently your best laid plans can go awry when you fall in love with the most beautiful woman in the world and accidentally impregnate her.

Of course, I knew this was no accident.

This was fate.

I was right where I needed to be and so was Diana. We fit together like the pieces of a puzzle, and once Jeremiah came along, he just completed the picture.

“Ready to go back to bed, champ?” I asked, after he’d finished his water.

He nodded his head and we headed back to his room, but he began to cry and point at Diana’s bedroom.

“You want to sleep with us?” Diana said, and he nodded, his bottom lip sticking out into the cutest pout ever.

“Alright, sweetheart,” she said, her voice soft and gentle, as she headed back to the bedroom. Jeremiah, or Slade, Jr., as Diana insisted on calling him, was one lucky boy.

“Good thing we had our time alone before he woke up,” I said, following them back into bed. We put him between us and I pulled the covers over the three of us, and we snuggled in beside him.

“He looks like one of those fat little angels,” I said.

“You mean a cherub,” Diana said, smiling over at me, her beautiful blue eyes shining with happiness.

“Yes,” I said. “No surprise, since he’s got an angel for a mama.”

“Then what does that make you?” she asked.

“One lucky motherfucker,” I replied, leaning over and kissing her again.

“Mofoker,” Jeremiah mumbled.

“Shit!” I said, looking down at him in surprise. “Did he just say motherfucker?”

“Momofoker!” he said, giggling.

I groaned with regret and yet I couldn’t help but laugh.

“We’re the lucky ones,” Diana said, laughing with me.

I put my hand on her face, stroking her cheek.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” I asked.

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said, with a dismissive wave, as we watched Jeremiah fall back asleep between us. “Hey, did Grace get in touch with Silverton? Did everything work out?”

“I think so,” I said. “Thanks for making the connection. And thanks for giving Vanessa our card, she seems to be doing really well at the clubhouse now that she’s away from that prick Randolph.”

“I’m so glad I did, too,” she said. “I saw something in her eyes that day, you know? I wasn’t sure if I was right, but I guess I was.”

“You were right,” I said, nodding.

“That just makes me want to do it again,” she said.

“Just keep your eyes peeled. You’ll know when it’s appropriate to approach someone again. Trust your gut.”

“Trust my gut, huh? Is that what you do?” she asked, teasingly.

“Yep. And right now, my gut is telling me that it’s a good thing this sleeping boy is between us or you wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

She laughed, her twinkling voice like music to my ears, and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t keep this grin from spreading across my mug.

I was one happy man and as I looked over at my newly formed family, I knew there wasn’t anything in the world I wouldn’t do for these two. Take a bullet, fight an army, jump off a goddamned bridge.

I was here to serve them. I knew now I was placed on this Earth to provide for them and protect them. After all the shit I’d seen, all the pain I’d gone through, all the bridges I’d burned - my life finally had a purpose - and they were the most beautiful reason for living in the whole fucking world.

Wreck

Once again, I fucked up.

If Ryder found out I’d kissed Vanessa, he’d send me packing, no doubt about it. But fuck. I couldn’t resist her.

Her lips were so warm, so fucking inviting.

I hadn’t felt like that since I’d kissed Frankie and now I was completely overwhelmed and freaking out. What had I done? How in the world was I going to be able to resist her now? I’d stepped over the line big time and now I didn’t know how I’d be able to step back.

My feelings for Frankie were so pure, so full of light and innocence, and so fucking long ago that I’d convinced myself that they were just the result of our youth. First times and all that shit. Over the years, when I’d kissed other women, it was nothing like that at all. I’d convinced myself that those fireworks that went off every time I kissed Frankie weren’t even real, because they’d never happened since her.

And that had gotten me through all those nights of lackluster sex and missed connections and awkward exchanges of bodily fluids. I told myself that’s how it was supposed to be. The sparks only ignited the first time.

But now those fucking fireworks were back like it was the fucking Fourth of July and I was shaking in my boots like a war veteran.

We’d stayed by the creek making out for an hour before I insisted we go back. I was on the verge of ripping her clothes off and taking her right there on that mossy log across the creek, and I knew if I took it that far, I’d never turn back.

Not that I could now, either, but I tried fooling myself just to get away for a minute.

Now that I was back in my room alone, I realized that I was indeed thoroughly fucked.

Jesus - the way she looked at me seemed to cut right through me, those blue eyes peering into mine like she was trying to read all my stories, as if they were written in my eyes. Her eyes spoke volumes of their own. Mostly, I saw pain, but when she stared at me after we’d made out, I saw something else.

Hope? Desire, sure, but something more than that. For fuck’s sake, I could swear it looked like love, but how the fuck could that be? She barely knew me. We’d only just met!

That’s what threw me the most.

She kissed me like she’d known me forever, like she had every intention of going as far as we could, as if she never wanted to stop.

What the fuck was I supposed to do with that?

I wasn’t Jesse, not anymore. I wasn’t the devoted boyfriend.

I was Wreck now. I was the unavailable asshole that just wanted a quick fuck, if even that, and then to be on his way. No strings attached. Not even friends, just benefits.

I hadn’t been Jesse in a long time and I probably never would be again.

No. This was all wrong.

It didn’t matter that she kissed me with such uninhibited abandon that it broke right through every wall I’d erected. It didn’t matter that she was so fucking perfectly beautiful and yet didn’t seem to be turned-off by my hideous scars. Or, at least the one she’d seen so far. Maybe she would feel differently if she saw me naked and saw all the scratches and dings and holes where the flesh used to be. Maybe if she saw how empty my blackened heart was, then she’d run away, like she should. Maybe then she’d be as repulsed by me as I expected her to be.

But so far she wasn’t.

I’d led her back to the clubhouse, my heart beating a mile a minute and my cock throbbing with a heavy, thick need. I’d lied and said I had some business to attend to, just so I could have a few minutes alone to breathe.

And what was the first fucking thing I did after saying goodbye to those big blue eyes of hers?

I went to my room and pulled out my picture of Frankie. Because all of a sudden, her face, the one face that was always front and center in my mind, no matter what, was fading, and Vanessa’s face was replacing it.