Worth the Risk (11 page)

She gave a groan and closed her eyes. The truth was that he hadn’t given her any choice. At least not in the beginning. But after that…well, after that she’d been as keen as him. Something had sparked between them, something she’d never known could happen.

She opened her eyes and lifted her chin. Well, it wasn’t going to happen again. It was only a kiss, for goodness’ sake. She could live with a kiss.

Straightening in her chair, she bit her lip, her emotions tumbled. How was she going to face him? He hadn’t stayed to supper on Saturday night. He hadn’t even stayed to have a conversation. He’d just kissed her until she’d been a gibbering wreck and then had walked out, leaving her to deal with the aftermath of her unleashed emotions. And now she had to face him.

Pulling herself together, she picked up the stack of results on her desk and started going through them, noting which were fine and which needed follow-up.

A tap on her door made her jump, and her hands trembled as the door opened and Sean strode in, closing the door firmly behind him.

Ally stared at him warily and he gave her a wry smile.

‘Don’t look like that. I’ve come to apologise.’

‘What for? Forcing me to kiss you? Taking over my home?’ Ruining a perfectly peaceful existence by making her feel things she didn’t know it was possible to feel? She glared at him, anger masking the other emotions that wrestled inside her.

He gave a short laugh and raked long fingers through his cropped hair. ‘Like I said, I’m sorry. I suppose I’m just not very good at taking no for an answer.’

‘Well, you’d better learn fast because it’s the only answer you’re ever going to get.’ Ally turned back to her pile of results, determined that he wouldn’t see how much her hands were shaking.

‘Why?’ His voice was hoarse and heart-stoppingly male. ‘Because you want to protect Charlie? Maybe she doesn’t need protecting. People come and go all the time—it’s a fact of life.’

‘Not for everyone.’ Ally stared at the results without seeing them. ‘Some people are lucky enough to have constancy and permanent relationships, and that’s what I want for Charlie. I don’t want her hurt.’

He paced over to the window, the tension visible in those broad shoulders as he stared out across the fells. ‘So you refuse to take any risks or have any fun of your own in case it ends up hurting Charlie.’

‘And me.’ Ally stared bleakly at his broad back. ‘In case it ends up hurting me. Which is what you’d do, Sean.’

He turned then, his dark eyes intense. ‘You don’t know that.’

She knew that. Dear God, she knew. ‘You’d break my heart, Sean—’

‘This is totally illogical.’ He raked long fingers through his hair and made an impatient sound. ‘What is it you want? Guarantees? There are never any guarantees—people never start a relationship knowing how’s it going to end.’

‘You do. You’ve told me as much.’ She held his gaze steadily. ‘You’re very honest about the fact that you avoid intimacy and you don’t want children, so a relationship with you can only have one ending—and it’s not the one I want.’

He stared at her for a long moment, his jaw tense. ‘There are reasons for the way I feel.’

‘Share them.’

There was a rap on the door and Helen entered with a pile of notes, smiling briefly as she noticed Sean.

‘Oh, hello, there, Dr Nicholson. I didn’t know you were in here.’

To his credit, Sean managed a fairly genuine smile. Ally was ready to scream at the practice manager for her lousy timing. Sean had been about to open up to her, she was sure of it, but instead he glanced at his watch and gave Ally a brief nod that reflected none of the intimacy of their conversation only seconds earlier.

‘I’d better get on. I’ve got patients to see.’

And with that he strode out, leaving Ally in a worse state than she’d been in when he’d entered the room ten minutes before.

Helen discussed a few problems with her and then left, leaving Ally to pull herself together before the stream of patients started.

Her first patient was Jenny Monroe, looking white and strained, a small bandage visible under her tights.

‘Hello, Jenny.’ Ally pushed her own problem to one side. ‘I gather you managed to get an appointment very quickly?’

Jenny nodded. ‘They rang me the day after because they had a cancellation. I had it taken out, but they said they think it’s malignant. I have to go back on Thursday for the results.’

‘I’m sorry, Jenny.’ Ally felt a rush of sympathy for the young woman. Why was life so unfair? Jenny was so young and the diagnosis of malignant melanoma was a serious one.

‘They said that they’d have to measure the thickness of the mole and that will give them an idea of how serious it is.’ Jenny looked sick and suddenly burst into tears. ‘I just keep thinking I’m going to die.’

‘You mustn’t think that!’ Ally said firmly. ‘You don’t have all the facts yet, and when you do we’ll just make sure you have the very best treatment. You aren’t going to die, Jenny.’

Jenny sniffed and took the tissue Ally offered her. ‘Thanks. I suppose I’m just being stupid. People do survive cancer, don’t they, even if they’re told they’re not going to?’

‘They do, indeed. Positive thinking is terribly important in fighting any illness, Jenny,’ Ally agreed, ‘but you haven’t been told any of those things—you’re just letting your imagination run away with you. With luck it will have been caught in the very early stages—you’ll probably just need regular checks.’

‘I read in a magazine about using interferon for skin cancer—would I be suitable for that?’

Ally blinked. Nowadays patients were so much better informed than they used to be, and it was always quite tough on the GP who had to be three steps ahead of what was being printed in the press.

‘Skin cancers haven’t generally responded well to chemotherapy, but you’re right that alpha interferon has shown some very promising results. I’m not sure exactly which patients it’s suitable for but when we have more details from the hospital we can ask the consultant. You could ask them at your next appointment. It’s important that you understand the treatment they’re recommending.’

Jenny bit her lip. ‘I can’t, Dr McGuire. Once they start talking about cancer I know I’ll just clam up. I hear that one word and then I don’t hear anything else.’

Ally leaned forward and gave her hand a squeeze. ‘Well, that’s why it’s a good idea to take someone with you. Can your husband take time off?’

‘He has to look after the twins. My mother’s away…’ Jenny’s eyes filled again and Ally reached for the phone, tapping in a number and then covering the receiver while she talked to Jenny.

‘When’s the appointment?’

‘Thursday at four o’clock.’

Ally uncovered the receiver and waited. ‘Mum? It’s me. I need a favour.’

She listened and smiled while her mother made the usual remarks and then her face sobered. ‘Could you babysit two eight-month-old twins for an hour while their mother goes to hospital for an appointment?’ She talked for a few minutes more then replaced the receiver and scribbled her address on a piece of paper.

‘This is where I live. My daughter Charlie is five and my mother will be looking after her until I finish evening surgery, so you’re welcome to drop your two off on your way to the hospital. That way you get time to concentrate on what’s being said and what you want to ask.’

Jenny took the piece of paper and gazed at it, her expression slightly stunned. ‘Are you sure…?’

‘Absolutely.’ Ally gave her a gentle smile. ‘And if you still don’t feel you’ve asked all the questions you want to ask, I’ll have a word with Mr Gordon.’

‘Bless you, Dr McGuire.’ Jenny tucked the paper safely inside her purse and blew her nose loudly. ‘I’ll probably be OK once I know what’s going on. It’s just the uncertainty that gets to me, you know?’

Ally nodded sympathetically. ‘It must be very tough, but try and stay positive. The other people you might find useful to get in touch with are the support group Cancer BACK UP. They’re in London but they have a helpline, with trained nurses giving information and answering all sorts of questions which you might not want to ask the doctor.’

She flicked through her address files and scribbled down another number which she handed to Jenny.

‘Now then, I’ll tell Mum to expect you on Thursday, and in the meantime give me a ring if you’re really fretting about anything.’

Jenny stood up and smiled, looking much more relaxed. ‘I can’t thank you enough…’

‘Nothing to thank me for,’ Ally said gruffly, standing up, too, and walking to the door with her. ‘I’ll see you soon.’

She watched Jenny go and sent up a silent prayer that the tumour would have been caught early or, better still, be benign.

* * *

The rest of the week was a busy one with the beginnings of a flu outbreak which kept her and the partners busy.

Ally collapsed into a chair in the staffroom with a groan after one particularly busy morning.

‘My muscles ache.’

‘Flu?’ suggested Lucy helpfully, handing her a mug of coffee and reaching for the biscuits.

‘I hope not!’ Ally took the coffee but waved aside the biscuits. ‘I can’t afford to be ill. I’m the doctor.’

‘Well, you’d better wear a mask, then,’ Lucy suggested cheerfully, ‘because everyone I’ve seen this morning is brewing something hideous.’

‘Oh, thanks!’ The phone buzzed and Ally reached across to answer it, all her senses suddenly on alert as she saw Sean walk in. ‘Hello?’

She listened for a moment and then reached for a pen and a pad. ‘Yes, she’s my patient. Fire away.’ She scribbled for a minute and then gave a grin. ‘Brilliant. Thanks a lot… Yes, I’ll tell her.’

She replaced the receiver and smiled at Lucy. ‘That was the lab. Felicity Webster has immunity to chickenpox so that’s one worry gone.’

‘Oh, that’s good.’ Lucy smiled and snuggled into a chair, folding her legs under her. ‘I saw her in Sainsbury’s last night. She looked as though she was about to deliver any moment. When’s she due?’

‘Not for another two weeks.’

Lucy shook her head slowly. ‘No way is that woman going to last two weeks. She’ll have delivered by Saturday if you ask me.’

‘Clairvoyant, Lucy?’ Sean dropped into a chair next to her and stretched out his long legs.

Lucy yawned. ‘No. I just know when a woman’s about to deliver.’

Ally laughed. ‘You should go and work in the obstetric unit, then they could throw away the ultrasound. Are you all right? You look exhausted.’

‘I am.’ Lucy rubbed her eyes and stifled another yawn. ‘I’m spending every spare minute training. Red and I have got our assessment coming up in a while.’

Sean raised an eyebrow. ‘Who’s Red?’

‘Red’s my Border collie,’ Lucy told him proudly. ‘We’ve been training for search and rescue so that we can join the mountain rescue team. If we pass we can go on call-outs. Talking of which, are you two going to the fireworks on Saturday?’

Lucy glanced at them and Ally couldn’t hide her blush. She wished people wouldn’t keep addressing them as a couple. Will, Jack and now Lucy.

‘We are, indeed.’ Sean’s eyes held hers for a long moment. ‘I promised Charlie.’

He’d promised Charlie? When had he promised Charlie? She’d known he’d be there, of course, but that didn’t mean they had to go together.

‘I’ve promised to help with the food for my sins.’ Lucy chatted away happily, oblivious to the tension simmering in the room. ‘Jack’s selling tickets for five pounds. Jolly good idea really. Just baked potatoes and things like that.’

Ally dragged her gaze away from Sean’s and managed a smile. ‘Super. Just the thing for a cold night.’

Excusing herself, she made her way to her consulting room, relieved that she had a busy surgery to take her mind off Sean.

The first patient she saw was Mary Thompson, looking as anxious as ever.

‘Hello, Mrs Thompson,’ Ally greeted her warmly. ‘How’s that cough?’

‘Cough?’ For a moment the woman looked baffled and then she shook herself and gave a weak smile. ‘Oh, that. Yes, well, it hasn’t bothered me really…’

‘Good. So what can I help you with today.’

Mary fingered her coat nervously. ‘It’s difficult…’

Ally leaned forward and covered her hand with her own. ‘Mrs Thompson, I know something is wrong—why don’t you trust me and just tell me what it is?’

Mary shook her head and then burst into tears. Ally handed her some tissues and waited for the storm to pass.

‘I’m sorry about that, Doctor.’ The woman sniffed and blew her nose. ‘I’m just being a silly woman.’

‘Tell me,’ Ally prompted gently, and Mary took a deep breath.

‘It’s my husband. He’s got a bit of a problem.’

Ally suspected that that was an understatement but she didn’t speak, just waited for Mary to finish.

‘It started when he took this job. Too much entertaining, sales conferences and targets which he couldn’t meet.’ She gave a sigh and stared helplessly at Ally. ‘He’s drinking. A lot. I suppose you saw the newspaper article.’

Ally hesitated and then nodded. There was no point in lying. ‘Yes. Yes, I did, actually.’

‘Frankly, I’m amazed it hasn’t happened before.’ Mary crumpled the tissue into a ball and fiddled nervously with it. ‘He’s been drinking far too much for at least a year.’

And driving. Ally gritted her teeth and tried not to think about the damage he could have done.

‘Will he come in and see me, Mrs Thompson?’

The older woman shrugged her shoulders and gave her a bleak look. ‘Well, before that newspaper article I would have said no. He’s a very proud man. Very traditional, you know? Won’t ever admit he needs help. But now—well, to be frank, he just might because he feels so down. I’ve been trying to persuade him to come and see you. I did wonder whether there was anything I could do…’

Ally shook her head. ‘Not really, Mrs Thompson. If he’s drinking as much as you say then he needs professional help now. We need to check his current state of health—see what damage the alcohol has done—and then break the addiction. The best thing you can do is get him to come and see me. He has to want to change things or a detoxification programme has no chance of working.’

The woman slumped in the chair and sighed. ‘It’s all so complicated.’