Worth the Risk (8 page)

‘I have no intention of telling you the facts.’ She glared at him. ‘The facts are none of your business, Sean Nicholson, but don’t you dare imply that Charlie has suffered from being with me because I can assure you that I give her everything a child needs.’

A muscle worked in his cheek. ‘Except her father.’

‘Yes, well, in Charlie’s case she’s better off without him!’ Ally turned back to the onion and chopped it with fierce, deliberate strokes of the knife. The man made her so angry!

‘Maybe a child is better off with a mediocre father than no father.’

‘Well, that shows how little you know about the situation.’ Controlling her temper with difficulty, Ally turned and dropped the knife into the sink, turning on the taps with more force than was necessary. ‘My daughter may only have me, but at least I’m always here for her. I don’t change my mind if I’ve had a tough day, and I don’t give her up if something better comes along—’

‘Is that what Charlie’s father did?’

She turned to look at him, her eyes blazing. ‘Charlie’s father was a complete rat.’

His gaze was ironic. ‘Well, you obviously didn’t think he was that bad when you slept with him.’

The sound of her hand connecting with his lean cheek echoed around the kitchen, and she froze with the shock of her own actions. She’d hit him. Dear God, what had got into her? She’d never hit anyone or anything in her life before.

Breathing unsteadily, their eyes met, hers wide and shocked, his thoughtful and intent.

She blushed with mortification. ‘I’m sorry…’ she began stiffly, and he gave a short laugh, rubbing his cheek with a rueful expression in his eyes.

‘Don’t be. I deserved it. It was a totally insensitive comment.’

But it was the obvious comment—that she’d loved Rob enough to sleep with him and bear his child. Still shocked by her own actions, she covered her mouth with shaking fingers, her hand still tingling from the contact with Sean’s cheek. For a moment she was severely tempted to blurt out the whole truth but then she stopped herself. Why on earth would she confide her life story to this man whom she hardly knew? She didn’t want to confide in him. Didn’t want to get close.

‘It—it isn’t how it seems. It’s complicated. Rob was a total mistake,’ she said briefly, her blue eyes wary as they watched him. It was the truth. Economical maybe, but the truth nonetheless.

He raised his hands in a comical gesture of surrender. ‘Well, as you rightly said, it isn’t any of my business.’

‘No.’ Ally stared at his cheek and bit her lip as she saw the livid red streak. ‘I hurt you. What can I do? Do you want ice or something?’

He gave her a half-smile that was so sexy her knees almost gave way. ‘You could kiss it better…’

Her breath clogged her throat. ‘Don’t be silly.’ Her voice cracked slightly and she changed the subject quickly. ‘So, what makes you feel so strongly about the subject of absent fathers?’

His jaw tightened and his expression was suddenly guarded. ‘I just happen to believe that in an ideal world children should have two parents.’

She gave a short laugh and tipped the onion into a frying-pan, stirring it gently. ‘Yes, well, this isn’t an ideal world.’

‘I’m well aware of that.’

‘So you believe in happy ever after and Father Christmas, do you?’

He laughed. ‘And the Easter Bunny? I’m afraid not. I believe in happy while it lasts.’

She frowned, still stirring the onion. ‘But you just said children should have two parents.’

‘Absolutely.’ His voice was a lazy drawl. ‘I just don’t happen to believe you should have children unless you’re one hundred per cent committed to each other. It isn’t fair on the child.’

‘But no one ever knows how a relationship will work out.’

‘True. But once you have children you have a responsibility to make it work for their sakes. You just can’t afford to be selfish.’

Ally stopped stirring. ‘You’re saying I’m selfish.’

‘I’m not saying anything of the sort.’ His voice was quiet. ‘As you rightly pointed out, I know nothing about your circumstances and it’s none of my business.’

‘So you think it’s OK to flit from one woman to another as long as there are no children involved?’

He frowned. ‘I don’t think flit would be the word I’d use but, yes, I think it’s realistic to expect to change partners. It’s better to acknowledge that rather than keep up this pretence of believing that you’re going to be together for ever and making selfish decisions based on that fantasy.’

Ally dropped the spoon and glared at him. ‘And it doesn’t matter who gets hurt in the process? That’s totally irresponsible!’

‘On the contrary, it’s extremely responsible.’ His gaze clashed with hers and his mouth was a grim line, all traces of humour gone. ‘Far more so than having children without any thought for their future. When my relationships end no one gets hurt.’

Was he kidding? Ally was willing to bet he’d left a trail of broken hearts around the country. Adult ones, maybe, but still. ‘But don’t you ever have dreams of a family of your own?’

‘No, I don’t.’ He gave a short laugh, his expression grim. ‘I gave up believing in fairy tales when I was still in nappies. I was determined never to be responsible for a child’s unhappiness.’

She stared at him defensively. ‘Charlie isn’t unhappy.’

‘I wasn’t talking about Charlie.’ He stared out of the window into the darkness, his expression unreadable. ‘Charlie’s obviously one of the lucky ones, but I know plenty of children who aren’t so lucky.’

‘But don’t you ever want children of your own?’

‘No.’ Sean’s eyes were shuttered. ‘I don’t.’

Ally stared at him and wondered what had happened in his life to bring him to that decision. Looking at his taut profile, she felt a surge of sadness which she quickly dismissed. Why feel sad that a man she hardly knew didn’t want children? So what? Why should that affect her? Her eyes rested on his hard jaw and lifted to his eyes, and for some unfathomable reason the bleak look she saw there made her want to hug him. Hug him? She must be going mad. She shook herself mentally and pulled a can of chopped tomatoes out of the cupboard. Anything to keep her hands busy so that she didn’t do something stupid.

‘Anyway, talking of relationships…’ The smile was back, along with a wicked glint in his eye that she didn’t trust an inch. ‘What are we going to do about the chemistry between us?’

‘Chemistry?’ Her heart gave a jump and she moved quickly, putting the table between them as protection as he walked purposefully towards her. ‘Don’t kid yourself! I don’t think exchanging arguments and insults can really be called chemistry.’

‘Then why are you hiding behind a table?’ Those dark eyes teased her as he moved closer. ‘Who is it you don’t trust? Yourself or me?’

Ally took a deep breath and gripped the back of a chair. ‘Look, Sean, you’ve just said you avoid relationships, so—’

He grinned. ‘Don’t twist my words. I may avoid marriage and children, but I’m totally in favour of relationships.’

With her? He had to be joking! She wasn’t that stupid…

‘Well, I’m not.’ How come her voice sounded so steady? ‘It’s not fair on Charlie.’

He raised an eyebrow in an expression of disbelief. ‘You’re expecting me to believe that you’ve lived like a nun since she was born?’

She almost laughed. He didn’t know the half of it!

‘Believe what you like, but leave me alone, Sean.’ She looked away from him. ‘It wouldn’t work.’

Strong fingers grasped her chin and forced her to look at him. ‘Give me one good reason.’

‘I already have. Charlie.’

He stared at her for a long moment and then his hand dropped and he frowned. ‘You’re serious? You don’t date men because of your daughter?’

Ally turned away and stirred the Bolognese sauce. ‘Whatever you may think about the mistakes I made in Charlie’s past, I intend to make sure there aren’t any more in the future.’

‘And I’d be a mistake?’

‘Oh, yes. A huge mistake.’ She wasn’t the sort of person he obviously thought she was. The truth was she’d never had a fling with anyone before in her life. Never. She was one of those idiots who still believed in fairy tales and Father Christmas, and one special love that lasted for ever. Sean didn’t. They were as different as chalk and cheese, and to pretend otherwise would lead to nothing but disaster. He might be attractive but he was also dangerous. Dangerous because he’d made it clear that he didn’t want commitment, but for the first time in her life she was sorely tempted to put her principles to one side and take whatever was on offer.

But it wasn’t going to happen, she told herself firmly. No matter how many times those dark eyes captured hers or that smile turned her insides to a pool of jelly. It wasn’t going to happen. It wasn’t fair on Charlie.

For all his easy charm Sean was too cool and detached for her. He obviously avoided any real intimacy. The sort of man who wouldn’t think twice about having a brief affair and then moving on. He’d made that perfectly plain and chemistry or no chemistry she wasn’t fool enough to think she’d be the one to change him.

She’d had enough of men who ducked responsibility. She was better off on her own. At least then no one could let you down.

‘You’ve got the keys, so just go.’ She kept her back to him, aware that he was standing only inches behind her. With a huge effort she made her voice crisp and businesslike. ‘You can live in my stable, Sean, but that’s all.’

His voice was soft and disturbingly close. ‘For now.’

‘For ever,’ she said firmly, gripping the spoon tightly and praying that he’d leave.

There was a long silence and then she heard his soft laugh and the click of the door as he closed it quietly behind him.

CHAPTER FOUR

S
ATURDAY
surgery was as busy as ever, which was just as well, Ally reflected wryly, because it stopped her thinking about Sean. Ever since he’d moved into the stable she just hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything, even though she’d managed to avoid him very successfully. Apart from hearing the roar of his motorbike early in the morning, she was barely aware that he’d been living next to her for two days. And now he was next door again, this time running Will’s minor accident surgery in the treatment room.

With a groan and a shake of her head Ally pressed the buzzer for her next patient who came in, clutching the hand of a fractious toddler.

‘Hello, Felicity, how’s the pregnancy?’

Felicity rolled her eyes and sagged into the chair, picking up a toy from Ally’s box. ‘Here we are, Tom, choo-choo train.’

The little boy took the train and plopped down on the floor contentedly. Felicity gave Ally a tired smile.

‘The pregnancy, did you say? I don’t know. I haven’t got time to think about it. This little one and his older brother keep me too busy.’

Ally gave her a sympathetic smile. ‘I’ll bet. Not like the first time around, is it?’

‘You can say that again.’ Felicity gave a short laugh. ‘The first time around I felt special. Put your feet up, pet, Hugh used to say. He used to cook, clean, bring me tea in bed…’

‘But not any more?’

Felicity laughed and passed Tom a bag of bricks which he cheerfully upended, before bursting into noisy sobs.

‘Definitely not any more.’ Felicity stooped to pick up the little boy, murmuring soothing noises as she bounced him on her knee. ‘Anyway, believe it or not, I didn’t come to moan! This little fellow is very out of sorts and he’s got a nasty rash. I think it might be chickenpox because there have been a few cases in his nursery.’

‘Let’s have a look at him.’ Ally picked up a puppet from her desk. ‘Tom? Look what I’ve got…’

She jiggled the puppet until Tom started to chuckle and then handed it over to Felicity while she examined the little boy quickly but thoroughly.

‘When did the rash start?’ She listened to Tom’s chest and checked his throat and ears.

‘About three days ago, but he only had a couple of spots so I wasn’t sure.’

Ally examined the rash carefully and then helped pull Tom’s jumper back over his head.

‘It’s definitely chickenpox,’ she confirmed, turning to her computer and tapping keys. ‘I’ll give you a prescription for Piriton syrup, which should help the itching.’

‘When is he infectious, Dr McGuire—and should I keep him away from other children?’

Ally nodded. ‘Most nurseries prefer you to keep them off although, in fact, they’re infectious for twenty-four hours before the rash appears so in reality the chances are that he’s already passed it on. But keep him off until the rash crusts over.’

‘How long does that take?’

‘About five days.’ Ally waited while the computer printed out the prescription and then handed it to the mother. ‘What we do need to talk about is you.’

‘Me?’ Felicity shifted Tom to the other knee and looked surprised. ‘Why me?’

‘How pregnant are you now?’

‘Nearly thirty-seven weeks.’

‘Right—and have you had chickenpox?’

Felicity screwed up her face and shrugged. ‘I haven’t got a clue, frankly. Why?’

‘Because we need to take blood to check your immune status.’

Felicity frowned. ‘But why? I know these infections are dangerous at the beginning, but the baby is formed by now, isn’t it?’

‘It is fully formed and you’re right to say infectious diseases are dangerous in the beginning, but chickenpox is also a risk to the pregnant mother at the end of pregnancy.’ Ally opened a drawer and pulled out a form. ‘We need to check your immunity and then give you an injection if necessary.’

Felicity looked stunned. ‘I’m glad I came now—I almost didn’t because I was so sure it was just chickenpox.’

‘I’m sure it won’t be a problem,’ Ally said firmly, scribbling Felicity’s details on the form. ‘Just take this to Sister next door and she’ll take some blood from you. We’ll ring you as soon as we have the results. But if you go into labour early, you give us a ring.’

‘Will do.’ Felicity stood up awkwardly and patted her lump. ‘Why did I do it? Two was enough really, and I’m dreading the labour.’

Ally checked the notes. ‘You had a forceps delivery last time.’

‘And a ventouse the first time. I couldn’t sit down for a month.’ Felicity bit her lip. ‘They say it gets easier but I’m not convinced.’