Wolf Creek Widow (Wolf Creek, Arkansas Book 4) (12 page)

“When I became a Christian, Brother McAdams assured me that God had forgiven all of my sins, but sometimes—” she gulped back a huge sob “—sometimes I wonder if He might still be holding the things I did with Elton before our marriage against me.”

“No, Meg,” Nita assured her in a soft voice. “I can promise you He doesn’t.”

“Then I don’t understand!” she cried. “I’ve tried living right, and I’ve tried prayer, but it never changed anything. My life has just gone from one bad thing to another. Look where I am now. Look at me!” She met her new friend’s steady gaze. “What must everyone be saying about me now?”

Nita laid aside the two-pronged fork she was using to turn the bacon and reached out to place a small hand over Meg’s. “I’ve heard what they say of you, Meg. There are more people in Wolf Creek who know the truth than not, and I don’t know a single soul who blames you for your husband’s wrongdoings—or your mother’s, for that matter. Most of them admire you for the way you’ve conducted yourself these past years.”

“Admire me?”

“Yes, because no matter what happened, you never lost your smile and you stayed faithful to God. As for looking at you...when I look at you, I see a beautiful woman filled with courage, a woman who’s been through a tremendous amount of heartache and pain and has come out of it all with a whole new future ahead of her. No one likes to be the subject of gossip, Meg. I know that firsthand, but the thing is that in time, people tend to forgive and forget. I think Rachel Gentry would tell you that.”

Nita gave Meg’s hands a squeeze. “Don’t give up on God, child. I believe He has good things planned for you.”

“I want to believe that, Mrs. Allen,” she said, more of the tears she’d held back for so long once again flooding her eyes.

“Keep believing,” Nita said, smiling. “He’s the only thing that will get us through the bad times. We can’t see the whole picture the way He can—thank goodness! Why, I daresay that if we could see our future, it would likely scare us to death. That’s why we’re told to take one day at a time and not to worry about tomorrow.”

“In other words, don’t borrow trouble,” Meg said, wiping at her eyes with the corner of a dish towel.

“Yes. There’s no sense worrying about things that may not happen. Just concentrate on getting better, one day at a time, and deal with the problems as they come.”

Nita turned back to her cooking.

Meg had a sudden vivid recollection of the squirrel Ace had taken her into the woods to see. She finally understood the lesson he’d been trying to get across. The squirrel’s home had been destroyed, yet it didn’t give up. Instead, knowing winter was coming, it got to work carefully rebuilding its nest, choosing the uppermost branches of the tree, finding the grit and courage to aim high, just as she should.

Despite the hurt and pain in the Gentry family’s past, its members had all lifted themselves above the ugliness and aimed not only for happiness, but also for peace and contentment and love. Was that what it meant in Romans, where it said that all things worked together for good to those who loved God? Was that what Libby was trying to tell her?

Meg wondered how He could possibly turn all that ugliness into something of beauty, yet He had done just that in others’ lives. Could she hope for that? Was that what was happening with Ace?

It was too soon to say, and he was too hard to read. It was impossible to know if these fledgling feelings were the first stirrings of love. She did know that whoever the man in her future might be, he would need to accept her for what and who she was. She also knew that before she could trust someone wholly, she had to find forgiveness in her heart for Elton. To do that, she needed to pray.

For the first time since the day of Elton’s death, Meg prayed for pardon for the lack of sorrow she felt at his loss, and she prayed that the Heavenly Father would have mercy on his soul. When she finished, she felt a sense of peace, and for the first time since she’d realized her marriage was made in hell, not heaven, she felt a glimmer of promise for the future.

One thing was certain. A man who watched squirrels and welcomed the dawning day with open arms and praise to the Almighty was not a man to be feared.

He was a man to be cherished.

* * *

Ace, who was standing outside the back screen door with an armload of kindling, heard every word of Meg’s conversation with his mother. He’d always been told that eavesdropping was poor conduct, but in this case, he felt it was warranted. He’d always known things between Meg and Elton were bad, but until now, he hadn’t known the extent of it. In addition to being beaten, she’d been blamed, ridiculed and made to feel ugly and inadequate. It was little wonder she’d lost her smile and her confidence, not to mention her faith.

He finally understood why she was so apologetic for everything she said and did. To raise Elton’s wrath had been to invite his anger. That was why she’d run that day on the plateau.

Though her body was healing, Ace knew she had a long way to go before she was well emotionally and spiritually. What she needed was time, not a man pushing her into something she wasn’t ready for.

A muscle in his jaw tightened and he pulled open the door. It was time to face the music and see how much damage his near kiss had done. The minute he stepped into the room, the aroma of the resin-rich wood mingled with the smell of frying bacon, familiar scents he associated with home. Meg sat at the table, a cup of coffee cradled between her palms.

“Good morning.” His greeting was intended for them both, but his gaze grazed Meg’s as he passed. “Am I interrupting?”

He didn’t miss the look of discomfiture that crossed her face.

“Not at all,” Nita told him. “I was just telling Meg how good the farm is looking and asking her if she’d noticed.”

Ace met Meg’s gaze. “And?” he asked with a lift of his dark eyebrows.

“I guess I haven’t noticed,” she confessed with a passable shrug of indifference.

Nita broke a couple of eggs into the skillet. “It’s really amazing what the two of you have done in such a short time. You make a good team.”

A good team.
His mother’s little reminder that she knew how he felt about Meg, he supposed. He wondered if she agreed. It was surprising what two people working toward a common goal could accomplish.

“Meg’s good help. She’s not afraid of work and she doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty, unlike some people.”

He noted the soft glow of pleasure in her eyes at his simple compliment. Ace doubted Elton had given her credit or praise for anything she’d done.

They were halfway through the meal when Nita asked, “Are you still going into town this morning?”

He nodded. “It’s time to pick up the laundry.” He glanced over at Meg. “Do you feel up to going into town with me, just to break the monotony?”

Caught off guard by the invitation, Meg looked from him to his mother. The pleasure on her face was a sight to behold.

“That’s a wonderful idea, Ace,” Nita said, smiling at Meg. “An outing would be good for you, and it would give you a chance to visit with some of your friends.”

As quickly as it had come, the joy on her face fled. “I think I’ll pass.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, wondering what had happened to change her mind and her attitude so fast. “I think it might do you good to have a change of scenery.”

“Maybe so, but I’m not much of a gadabout. Besides, I...I need to work on Lucy’s quilt.”

Nita reached out and touched his wrist, forcing his attention to her. There was a warning look in her dark eyes. “Do you mind if I go in with you instead? I need to take the sassafras root I harvested to Gabe. He said several of the ladies were asking for it since it’s getting cooler.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” he told her, understanding her silent appeal to stop pushing. He fell easily into her strategy to take the focus off Meg. “And if you’re a good girl, I might buy you a piece of penny candy.”

“Candy! Oh, licorice, please!”

“Ugh!” Ace said, his mouth turning down at the corners. “How can you stand that stuff?”

“The same way you stand horehound, I reckon,” Nita answered, casting Meg a smile.

“What’s your favorite candy?” he asked Meg.

He watched color rise to her hairline. Though she seemed to be uncomfortable, she straightened in her chair.

“Um, there was never much extra money for candy, and when I did buy it, I got peppermint for Teddy. El...” She paused and then plunged ahead with a hint of defiance, almost as if she were deliberately drawing attention to her situation. “Elton brought me some chocolate once when he came home from a long...trip. I really liked that.”

Ace ground his teeth to keep from saying something he shouldn’t. “We’ll see if Gabe has some chocolate, then.”

“Oh! I never meant to hint that you should—”

“I know you didn’t,” Ace interrupted. “But you’ve been pretty good about minding Rachel’s orders the past couple of weeks, so I think you deserve a treat.”

Without giving her a chance to answer, he turned to his mother. “I need to feed the animals, and then I’ll hitch up the wagon. Can you be ready in about twenty minutes?”

“I need to do the dishes and freshen up.”

“I’ll do that,” Meg volunteered. “You go ahead.”

“Thank you, Meg,” Nita said, reaching out and giving her hand a pat. “You do deserve a treat.”

Almost exactly twenty minutes later, Ace helped Nita into the wagon and vaulted up next to her. He turned the rig toward town and clucked to the horse.

“What on earth was that all about?” Nita asked, smoothing her blue plaid skirt. “She was definitely, I don’t know...not at ease with you this morning.”

Ace turned to her with a wry half smile. “Probably because I came inches from kissing her.”

Chapter Ten

M
eg watched Ace and Nita pull down the lane with a heavy heart. She would have loved to go to town. Cabin fever had set in with a vengeance a couple of days earlier. Her initial pleasure at his invitation vanished the instant she realized that she’d have to carry on a conversation with him during the whole hour-long drive to Wolf Creek and back. What could she say to him when she’d practically begged him to kiss her and he’d turned her down?

Muttering beneath her breath at her boldness, she wandered around the cabin, wondering what she would do with herself until they returned. Since she’d finished Lucy’s quilt two days earlier, she decided to take Nita’s advice and walk down the road to the curve where the house would first be seen by visitors. She wanted to take a look at the improvements she and Ace had made, back when they were a “good team,” before she’d made a fool of herself.

When she reached the bend in the lane and turned, her mouth fell open in surprise. A couple of weeks of hard work and her little farm looked almost prosperous! The piles of brush and fallen limbs that once littered the grounds had been piled and burned, and the fence rows cleaned of scrub brush and weeds. The fall garden looked green and lush.

The fresh coat of whitewash made the house stand out against the foliage that had begun to change to its fall wardrobe. They’d given the outbuildings a coat of white, too, and Ace had painted the window frames of the house with some green paint Gabe had given him after it had fallen off a wagon and part of it spilled.

With the repaired corral and the chicken wire no longer drooping, the improvements were astonishing. All she needed were a few flowers around the front and maybe some green shutters and it would be perfect!

Meg felt her eyes fill with tears and brushed them away with an irritated swipe. It seemed that ever since seeing the evidence of Ace’s suffering had freed her of the numbness that enveloped her, tears were always close to the surface.

These tears were happy, though. She actually laughed out loud in pleasure. It was no longer just her little house; it was a place she would be proud to call home, one she would not be ashamed to invite her new friends to visit, the place she would bring up her two children and any others she might have.

Would there be others? Oh, she hoped so! In the sleepless hours of the night, she’d realized that despite Elton’s efforts to break her of feelings, there was still much love inside her, but the next time she would have to be very careful about to whom she gave that love. It must be a man who truly loved her back, one she could trust with her heart and her body and her children. Foolishly and too hastily, perhaps, she dared to hope Ace would be that man.

With or without a husband, Meg vowed that she would bring so much love and joy into those four walls that there would be no room for the old memories and the sorrow accompanying them. She promised herself that she would not be weak any longer, that she would stand up for herself and her children and be the person God intended her to be. She knew she would not change overnight.

One day at a time.

* * *

Meg spent an hour at her favorite place in the woods, where she felt closest to God, where the cares of the world dropped away beneath the perfection of His creation and she felt so very close to Him. Ace explained that the Celts believed that heaven and earth were only three feet apart. Sometimes, at certain times or certain places, the distance was less. These were places or moments—not necessarily beautiful or serene ones—where people were forced to look at the world in a different perspective. The Celts called them “thin places.”

Meg liked the idea of thin places, places when, for a brief time, heaven and earth seemed closer. She’d always felt that this spot in the woods was the tiniest peek of what heaven must be like. Now, basking in the peace she found there, she read her Bible and prayed for herself and, falteringly, once more for Elton.

At midmorning, filled with contentment once again, she went back to the house and did the things mothers did. She swept and dusted and looked through the sweet dresses Abby Gentry’s girls had outgrown that had been passed on for Lucy. Some of them were well-worn, but Meg was glad to have them.

Lucy hadn’t been walking the last time she’d seen her, and there was no help for everyday wear and tear when a baby was on her knees most of the time. These would be just fine. There were a couple of dresses that had obviously been for Sunday services and would look precious with Lucy’s blond hair and blue eyes.

Meg was sitting on the front porch, mending a tear in one of Ace’s shirts that Nita had set aside to repair, when she glanced up and saw the dust of an approaching vehicle. It was a buggy, not a wagon, so it wasn’t Ace and Nita. Meg set aside the shirt and got to her feet. A wagon, trailing far behind to avoid the worst of a cloud of dust, followed the buggy. She wondered who was coming and what on earth was going on.

Drawn by curiosity, she went down the front steps and started across the grass toward the road, shielding her eyes against the sun. It looked like the doctor’s buggy, and Nita was sitting next to Rachel. Why was Nita with Rachel instead of Ace? Was it possible that she was bringing home her babies? Meg wondered as a tentative joy began to fill her. The closer they got, the better she could see. Yes! Lucy was sitting on Nita’s lap.

By the time Rachel pulled the buggy to a stop, Meg was almost bouncing up and down with happiness. Her gaze found Lucy first. Her sweet baby girl was nestled against Ace’s mother, chewing on the tail of the bow adorning the front of her dress and looking quite pleased to be outside.

Beneath the brim of a new eyelet bonnet, her cheeks were rosy with health and the warmth of the day. Meg ached to snatch her out of Nita’s arms and cover her face with kisses; at the same time, she was running toward the buggy, searching for a glimpse of Teddy. She spied him in the backseat, sitting in her aunt Serena’s lap. Uncle David sat next to them. Everyone waved and wore wide smiles as they called out greetings.

“Mama!” Teddy cried, struggling to get out of his great-aunt’s arms.

“Hold still, Teddy,” Serena said in a gentle voice. “Let Uncle Dave hold you while I get out. I’m not sure Mama can carry you just yet. She has a sore arm—remember?”

“I’m fine,” Meg insisted, but Teddy nodded and did as he’d been told.

In a few seconds, Meg was kneeling on the ground, unmindful of getting her skirt dirty. Teddy’s arms were wound tightly around her neck and hers were holding him so close that her ribs hurt.

“Ouch, Mama,” he said after a few seconds. “Don’t hug so hard.”

With a little laugh that sounded suspiciously like a sob, Meg released him and cradled his precious freckled face in both her hands. “I’ve missed you so,” she breathed and proceeded to cover his sweet face with kisses.

Then she heard an unintelligible sound from her daughter. Giving Teddy a final kiss, she stood and took her baby girl into her arms. She’d grown so much! Meg wasn’t surprised to feel her eyes fill with more of those dratted tears. She was getting used to them cropping up with every emotion she experienced.

“Gabe didn’t have any chocolate,” Rachel said, smiling broadly. “But we thought this might make up for it.”

“Oh, yes!” Meg said, rubbing her nose against Lucy’s. “This is much better than chocolate.”

“She’s taking a few steps.” Serena slid an arm around Meg’s shoulders and gave her a quick hug. “I’m sorry you missed it.”

“It couldn’t be helped,” she said, leaning for a few seconds against the woman who had been her role model for so many years. “I’m just thankful that you could take care of them for me.”

“Come on inside,” Nita said as she reached for Lucy. “I made cookies yesterday, and I’ll fix us some of that cold tea we like so much.”

The guests followed Nita up the steps and into the house. Only then did Meg dare to look at Ace.

“I told you that you deserved a treat,” he said. For once the expression in his eyes was not guarded. His eyes gleamed with a pleasure that was reflected in his smile. Oh! she thought as her breath caught in her throat. That expression did such amazing things to his usual stern demeanor!

Meg found herself smiling back. “This is a
very
special treat. Did you know they were coming home today? Is that why you asked me to go to town with you?”

He nodded. “We had to come up with an alternate plan when you changed your mind. What happened?”

The challenge in his eyes told her he was probing for the truth. Determined not to be so wishy-washy, she lifted her chin and said, “After...after last night and you going all stuffy on me, I wasn’t sure I could carry on a conversation with you for two hours.”

Ace regarded her with a lift of his dark eyebrows. “Stuffy?” He glanced toward the house, where Teddy stood with his nose pressed to the screen, waiting for her to come inside. “Go get reacquainted with your little ones,” he told her softly. “There’s plenty of time to discuss my stuffiness.”

* * *

The next hour was pure mayhem as they sat around the table and shared cookies and cold tea. Conversation never flagged, and the little house was filled with the hum of a half-dozen voices and peals of happy laughter.

Lucy was content to sit in her mother’s lap, munching on sugar cookies and sipping from her glass of tea, while Teddy reacquainted himself with the place in which he’d once lived. After thirty minutes or so, he went to the back door and peered through the screen toward where the sound of Ace’s hammering could be plainly heard.

“I want to go out to help the man,” he announced to no one in particular.

All eyes turned to Meg. Even her aunt and uncle, who had been responsible for Teddy these past weeks, looked to her for an answer, returning her motherly authority. What should she do? Would Ace mind if Teddy joined him, or would he explode in anger the way Elton had the few times Teddy had wanted to be outside with him?

Meg’s gaze sought Nita’s.

“Ace won’t mind at all,” she said, rising. “I’ll take Teddy out. We’ll take Ace a glass of tea and a couple of cookies.”

It wasn’t the answer Meg had expected. Ace wasn’t used to being around children. She was so fearful that it would all go awry.

“B-but Teddy has on his good clothes” was all she could think to say.

“I’ll see that he doesn’t get dirty.”

Somewhat relieved that Nita would be there to watch over Teddy, Meg cautioned, “Don’t let him get in the way.”

“He won’t.”

Once they had disappeared out the door, Serena leaned back in her chair and said, “I couldn’t believe how wonderful everything looked when we rounded that bend and saw all the improvements you’ve made to the place.”

Meg knew her aunt was trying to steer the conversation in a new direction. “Nita thought it would be a good idea for Ace to get things ready for winter,” she said.

“It looks like he did a lot more than that,” her uncle said with a smile of approval. “Colt is right. Ace is a good man.”

“Yes,” Meg said, hoping they couldn’t tell just how good she thought he was.

The talk turned to what was going on in town. Rachel said that plans were going ahead for Colt and Allison’s wedding in January, and that Mayor Talbot was having a conniption because he was losing her as their teacher midyear and had no idea who would take her place. Libby said Blythe would be perfect for the position, but she had no desire to live in Wolf Creek. Dan Mercer and his fiancée, Gracie, were planning a spring wedding, and to Libby Granville’s delight, everyone seemed to love the new library.

Nita and Teddy were still outside when the guests started getting ready to leave. Lucy had fallen asleep in Aunt Serena’s arms, crying and reaching for the older woman when she’d begun to tire from all the excitement.

Meg didn’t miss the pitying glances in the eyes of her guests as she handed over the fussy child without a word. Lucy was asleep minutes later. Meg’s heart ached. Her daughter had grown used to finding comfort in someone else’s arms. Like everything else in her life that needed mending, it would take time to bridge the gaps between her and her baby girl.

While Uncle Dave and Rachel cleaned up the table, Meg followed her aunt into the bedroom and watched as she placed Lucy in her crib.

“I’m sorry,” Serena whispered when the baby was settled.

“There’s no sense being sorry. Things are what they are, and it will just take time for us...” Her voice trailed away.

“You need time to figure out who Meg Thomerson is.”

“Is she anyone?” Meg asked with a disheartened smile. “Does she even exist?”

Her aunt took her by the shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. “Oh, she exists. She just forgot who she was for a while, and now she’s trying to figure it out.” Serena smiled. “Not only does she exist, she’s a very special person who found herself under the control of a very bad man.”

Meg’s eyes filled with more tears. “I made some really bad choices, Aunt Serena.”

“We’ve all made bad choices, sweet Meg. The trick is not to make the same ones twice.”

“How do I keep from doing that?”

Serena gave her a little shake. “You won’t.”

“How can you be sure?”

Serena gave her another little shake, this one harder. “You won’t, because you are not Georgina. She chose the life she’s living. Things might have been different if your father hadn’t died.”

“What do you mean?” Meg’s father had died when she was ten, leaving a void in both her and her mother’s lives.

“Georgina wasn’t always the way she is. When your father died, she didn’t like being alone, so she took up with Charlie. He doesn’t care what she does as long as he has his liquor. Trust me. You’re nothing like my sister.”

“Even though Elton and I had to get married?”

“Yes, even though. And you needn’t think I don’t know why you took up with him. Everyone saw that Charlie had his eye on you, and he wasn’t the only one. You were looking for an escape, and when Elton came along and started wooing you, it was easy for you to believe that he was your way out of what would have become a terrible situation.”