With Me In Seattle: Bundle Two (27 page)

“Why?” I demand. “What is it about the three of us that’s so fucking scary to a Navy SEAL, Caleb?”

“I didn’t know how to handle the way I felt about you,” he begins and swallows. “How I
feel
.”

“And how is that?”

“I love you so much it hurts,” he responds, his eyes holding mine.

I will not cry!

“So you think you can come waltzing back in here and profess your love for me and that makes it all better?”

He swears under his breath and shakes his head.

“I’m here to apologize, first and foremost. I had a long talk with the girls last night before you kicked me out of your room and before your dad took them home.”

“You did?” I ask, surprised, and worried that he’s gotten their hopes up again.

“I apologized to them, and hugged them, and we got some things worked out.”

“What, exactly, did you get worked out with two six-year-olds?” I ask with a laugh.

“I’ll get to that,” he responds with a grin, showing me his dimples, and I want to cave right then.

Those damn dimples get me every time.

I try to move in the sofa to find a comfortable position and cry out when I bump my shoulder.

“Hey, easy,” he croons and helps me rearrange the pillows behind me. “Easy, baby.”

“Don’t call me baby,” I whisper.

“Why not?” he whispers back.

“It hurts,” I admit and close my eyes. “Having you here hurts far worse than these injuries, Caleb.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, and I’m just sick of hearing it.

“You know what? I think I will go up to my bedroom.” I stand, wincing but proud of myself for not crying out.

He stands next to me, ready to wrap his arms around me, but I move away.

“Let me help you, damn it!”

“I can do this on my own. My legs aren’t hurt.”

Without another word, I slowly walk to the stairway and up the steps, one at a time, gripping the handrail for balance.

Getting onto the bed and into a comfortable position is pure hell. I don’t bother to try to change my clothes or get under the covers.

I just want to sleep.

I want to sleep with Caleb’s arms holding me, but that’s not going to happen.

Tears fall down my face as I lean my head back against the headboard and pray for a dreamless sleep to claim me.

***

I wake with a start, gasping for breath. It’s still light out, and glancing at the clock, I see I’ve been asleep for only an hour.

But the dream was chasing me again, the one where I can’t find my girls or Caleb, and panic seizes me.

Did I dream him?

Is he really here?

I need to see him. I struggle from the bed, swearing at the dull throb in my shoulder, and slowly move down the stairs to the living room.

There he is.

Caleb is sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees and head propped in his hands. He looks defeated and broken, and despite my resolve to tell him to go to hell, I can’t stop myself from going to him.

I push my fingers into his soft hair, and he quickly sits up, his eyes wide as he looks up into my face.

“Bryn?”

“I thought I dreamed you.” My voice catches as tears fill my eyes. “I needed to see you.”

“Ah, baby,” he murmurs and stands, lifts me gently into his arms and lowers us effortlessly onto the couch, cradling me close to him, kissing my forehead and cheek. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“I know. You can stop saying it. But I do need you to talk to me.” I tip my head back so I can look him in the eye. “The past three months have been horrible for me and the girls, Caleb. They miss you. They kept asking if they did something wrong to make you go away.”

His eyes fill with tears, but I keep talking. “We love you so much, and you just left us. After everything we’d been through together.”

“I know,” he whispers, his voice raw. “I was pretty fucked up, Bryn. You saw the nightmares. I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting you again, and I convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“What are the nightmares about?” I ask and watch as his face goes white. “You can tell me.”

“It’s classified,” he replies, but I cup his cheek in my hand and make him meet my gaze.

“Who the hell am I gonna tell, Caleb?”

He sighs and leans his forehead against mine.

“I was on a mission in Afghanistan about seven months ago with three other men. It was just supposed to be a recon mission…”

I raise my eyes at him as if to say, English, please.

“We were just supposed to go in and gather information,” he continues. “We knew there were armed Taliban in the area, but we didn’t know if there were ten or a hundred. Our intel wasn’t the best.”

I frown and watch his face as it tightens as he continues the story.

“Turned out, there were roughly fifty of them, and they were waiting for us.”

“How did they know you’d be there?” I ask.

“Good question,” he responds. “I’ll spare you the details, but I lost all three of my teammates that day.”

I gasp and drag my hand down his cheek, comforting him. “Oh, I’m so sorry. How did you make it out?”

He swallows hard and licks his lips. “I was knocked unconscious, and they thought I was dead. Just as they began to retreat, our Special Forces guys came in to help. It was too late for the other guys on my team, but they pulled me out of there.”

I stare at him, processing all he’s telling me, and I can’t stop touching him, his hair, his face.

I almost lost him before I even had him.

“Was that the last mission?” I ask.

“Yeah,” he confirms. “I was up for re-enlistment, and I decided against it. I put enough years in.”

“Caleb, there are people you can talk to about the nightmares.”

“I already have been,” he replies, his gaze sober. “I started seeing a shrink in San Diego, and I’ll keep seeing one up here. I’m working my shit out, Brynna. I even called my guys’ families, at the direction of my shrink.” He blinks, as though he’s surprised.

“How did that go?” I ask softly.

“Not like I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“I thought they’d say it was my fault. Yell at me. Hell, I would have.” He shakes his head and clears his throat. “But they all said that they knew it wasn’t my fault, and that they wished me nothing but happiness and peace.”

“They sound like good people,” I whisper.

He nods and glides his knuckles down my cheek, watching my lips as I lick them.

“I’m so sorry I ran, Legs.” He exhales and leans in to rest his forehead against mine. “I was so afraid.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because I was afraid that I would eventually disappoint you. I figured that you and the girls deserved someone who hasn’t been to hell and back and has the baggage to prove it.”

“Oh, Caleb,” I murmur and drag my fingertips down his cheek. “It’s
us
who doesn’t deserve
you.
”

He shakes his head, but I cover his lips with my fingers before he can interrupt.

“I’m so proud of you. From the minute I met you, I’ve been proud of you. Not many can do what you’ve done, Caleb. I’m sorry that you have demons, that you lost your men on that mission, but that doesn’t make you less of a man, any more than my baggage from my first marriage makes me less of a woman.”

I sigh as he sweeps his hand up and down my back, soothing us both.

“You need to know, we’re a package deal, Caleb. My girls and I are a team, and if you want to be a part of my life, you have to join the team, not just me.”

He frowns and stares at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“Brynna, you don’t have to remind me of that. I’ve never given you any reason to think that I don’t want your girls.” He kisses my forehead before smiling softly down at me. “They asked me if I was gonna come home where I belong. I told them that was up to you.”

“They love you, you know,” I murmur. “They were devastated after you left. Maddie cried for days. Even Bix couldn’t console her. We adopted him permanently, by the way.”

He nuzzles my nose with his own and then backs away before kissing me, watching me closely.

“I love the three of you with all my heart, Brynna. Your girls may not have come from me, but no one will ever love them more. Let me give all of you my name. Marry me.”

I swallow, and my jaw drops in shock. My damn eyes are leaking again, but I can’t move to brush the tears away.

“I want to adopt them,” he continues. “Seeing you there in that hospital made everything crystal clear for me. The thought of ever losing you is like a knife twisting in my soul. I want more babies with you. I want to give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”

I continue to silently cry and watch his handsome face. His deep blue eyes are moist and full of emotion, and I know without a doubt he is meant for my girls and me.

He’s ours, and we are his.

“You are my happy, Legs. Marry me.”

I smile slowly and cup his face with my hand. “We would be honored to marry you, Caleb Montgomery.”

He smiles widely and leans in to kiss me. Gently. Tenderly. Lovingly.

“Love you so much,” he whispers against my lips, sending tingles through me.

“Love you, too, stubborn man,” I whisper back and kiss him, sweeping my lips over his, enjoying the way his stubble feels against my face.

“Keep kissing me like this,” he murmurs and kisses a trail down my jawline to my neck. “And I’ll forget that you were in an accident the other night and have a concussion.”

“I missed kissing you,” I mutter.

He pulls back and cups my face tenderly, staring down at me longingly. “God, I missed it, too. I missed you.”

“Thank you for coming home.”

“You’re gonna marry me.” He smiles proudly.

“We are.” I nod and smile back. “When?”

“As soon as possible. There’s no need to wait.” He shrugs and frowns. “How big of a wedding do you want?”

“I’d love it if it was just our family,” I confess with a shy smile. “Something small and intimate with the people closest to us sounds perfect to me.”

“Hell, we can do that tomorrow.”

“Well, I would like to buy a dress, and the girls will want pretty dresses, too,” I remind him.

“Two weeks?”

“I guess I’d better call Alecia, the Montgomery party planner extraordinaire, and start making plans.”

“Tomorrow,” he agrees. “For right now, I just want to hold you.”

“Good plan.”

Chapter Twenty-One

“Mommy! Look how pretty I am!”

I turn from the mirror where my mom is zipping me into my own dress to admire my daughters in their little ivory dresses with pink sashes and pink roses in their dark hair, both smiling so proudly.

“You are both beautiful,” I announce and kiss them both on the cheek. “Caleb is going to be so excited when he sees you.”

“He’s wearing a suit,” Josie informs me with a giggle. “He looks really big in it.”

“The man has the broadest shoulders I’ve ever seen,” Mom agrees with a chuckle.

“I think they’re ready,” Stacy announces as she walks into Steven and Gail’s formal living room, which has been dubbed the bride’s dressing room for today’s event. “Oh, honey, you’re so beautiful.” Her eyes fill with tears, and I shake my head adamantly.

“No! No, no, no! No tears today. My makeup is done, and I’ll look all red and stupid if I cry, and if you start, I will, too.” I pull my sweet cousin into a tight hug and fight tears.

“You know, this means we’re really sisters now. Who knew we’d end up marrying brothers?” She giggles as she pulls away and smiles happily. “I’m so happy for both of you.”

“Thank you.”

“Come on!” My dad calls as he steps in the room. “They’re not going to wait forever.”

“Oh please,” Mom waves him off with a roll of her eyes. “She’s the bride. They’ll wait as long as she wants. Where are they going to go?”

“I’m ready,” I assure them as I turn to take one more look in the mirror. The dress I chose is a simple ivory gown. It’s strapless and form-fitting, but has ruching all the way down to my feet, which are in pink satin Louboutins, a gift from Natalie and Jules.

Those girls and their shoes.

My hair is up in a twist at the base of my neck, and I’ve decided to forgo the veil.

I want to see him clear as day when I walk out there before our family and pledge myself and my children to him.

“Okay, I’ll see you out there.” Mom kisses my cheek and smiles widely before leaving the room.

“Here we go.”

Stacy leads us to the back door, and I take a moment to peek out at the beautiful backyard I’m about to get married in. Steven Montgomery’s yard is always lovely, especially in the spring. The fresh scent of lilacs fills the air. Seattle weather had mercy on me today, and the sun is out with a light breeze floating through, making it perfect.

Alecia has outdone herself, as usual. She managed to get my favorite restaurant to cater, and they are set up and ready to go under the cover of the patio. Steven’s sound system has been wirelessly piped outside, and
At Last
by Etta James has just started to play.

The family is seated in white folding chairs in the center of the yard in a semicircle, and everyone is here. Leo Nash even returned from his tour late last night so he could attend.

“Okay, girls, follow me.” Stacy winks at me and clenches her pink-rose bouquet in front of her as she sets off down the yard, and the girls follow, side by side, also clutching small bouquets rather than baskets of petals.

When Caleb sees them, his face breaks out in a wide smile, and he winks at the girls as they stand off to the side.

“Ready, baby girl?” Daddy smiles down at me.

“Absolutely. Let’s go.”

We step outside as everyone stands and smiles at us, but I only have eyes for my handsome man. His gorgeous blue eyes are soft and happy as he watches us approach.

“Nervous?” Dad whispers to me.

“Not a bit,” I whisper back.

“You may be seated,” the justice of the peace, Brian Parker, announces.

“Beena!” Olivia announces from Luke’s lap, making us chuckle.

“Yes, Brynna is pretty,” Luke murmurs.