Witchful Thinking (25 page)

It was the evening of my big day. A cold ocean breeze rustled through the trees, and with the clouds obscuring the full moon, it looked like a spooky Halloween night. Although it wasn’t All Hallow’s Eve, it was only a matter of minutes before I would have to appear on the balcony of the Green Room of Kinloch Kirk to address my kingdom. I paced back and forth in my bedroom, so nervous it felt as if my heart were trying to best its own record of beats per minute. I closed my eyes and deeply inhaled for ten seconds, after which I took another ten seconds to exhale. Then I remembered the index cards clutched in my hand and flipped through them.

You can do this, Jolie. It’s just a simple speech
, I reminded myself.

At the sound of a knock on my door, I glanced up. “Come in.”

The door opened and Sinjin entered, dressed in a suit. And, yep, it was black. He offered me a quick bow and a practiced smile. He looked business-like, dapper, and radiant.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

I nodded as I thought about the waves of apprehension roaring inside me. “Is everyone outside?”

“All your subjects are assembled outside the Green
Room as you requested.” Sinjin smiled, adding, “All three hundred of them.”

It felt like something deflated inside me—our legion was just so small. I hadn’t done my duty to reanimate all our soldiers and the notion of reanimating Bella’s seemed like a faraway dream. We had to increase our numbers. Still, for now I’d focus on the three hundred standing just outside.

The Green Room was the theater of Kinloch Kirk. I liked to refer to it as the “theater room” because inside, it was designed to emulate a Greek amphitheater—a half circle with rowed seating. But tonight no one was seated in the amphitheater—there were too many in my kingdom to fit. Instead they were assembled outside, awaiting my balcony address. And as its name suggested, the Green Room was painted green—not emerald or anything loud, but a nice sage.

“Good,” I replied, sighing as I geared myself up.

“You will be fine, poppet,” Sinjin said as he wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head against his chest and held on to him as if he alone could see me through this.

“Wish me luck. I think I’m going to need it,” I muttered.

He pushed away and glanced down at me with a sincere smile. He almost looked human. “Poppet, you are the epitome of loveliness. Aphrodite would be envious.”

“Thank you.” I laughed but it had a high-pitched, edgy sound to it. I glanced down at myself and exhaled again slowly, hoping to release some of my pent-up energy.

I was wearing a two-piece suit, the color of steel. The pencil skirt ended just above my knees, and to polish it off, I wore high black boots over black tights. My jacket was tailored and ended at my waist. With my black silk shirt beneath it, I probably looked more like a salesperson
than a Queen. But
c’est la vie
. I wore my long, straight blond hair down, with only a headband to hold it off my face. And I kept my makeup simple—pinkish glossy lipstick with mocha-brown eye shadow, black liner, and mascara.

“So where’s my scepter and wand?” I asked with a smile.

Sinjin didn’t have the chance to reply because a sudden knock came on the door. He glanced at me momentarily before turning to address the intruder.

“Announce yourself,” he called out.

“It’s me,” trilled a woman’s voice. I couldn’t quite place it. I looked up at Sinjin and noticed that his posture was a bit less rigid.

“Enter,” he said simply.

I watched as Klaasje poked her head in from the hallway. She smiled at Sinjin then, upon seeing me, immediately dropped into a curtsy. I couldn’t really say I responded, though. I was still so caught up in the fact that Sinjin knew her well enough to recognize her voice without seeing her. And the fact that she announced herself with the very personal “it’s me” had me wondering about the nature of their relationship—I mean, it was obvious they’d had one in the past but was that still the case? And furthermore, why did I care? Sinjin and I were nothing but friends, pals, buddies …

“Are you ready, my Queen?” Klaasje asked me.

I glanced at Sinjin in slight confusion, wondering why the hell Klaasje was up here to begin with. Then it occurred to me that Queens needed attendants … and I have to admit I wasn’t thrilled in the least that Klaasje was mine, that is, if indeed she was.

“I have employed Klaasje as one of your protectors, my Queen,” Sinjin said.

“But you are both vampires,” I said, thinking of any argument I could make.

“I have arranged for your protection in the daylight as well,” Sinjin said and glanced at Klaasje with a secretive smile, as if they were in on some inside joke. I hate inside jokes.

“Who?” I demanded.

“Wolves, my Queen,” Sinjin responded. “I hand-picked those I believe to be strongest and fastest.”

As long as Trent wasn’t among them, I guess I didn’t care. Still, as to Klaasje sharing the duty of my protection with Sinjin in the evenings, I couldn’t say I embraced the idea. And I was sure it had everything to do with the fact that I was jealous. Well, not jealous so much as curious about the relationship between the two of them. But that was fodder for another day. Right now, I had a speech to deliver.

“May I escort you, my Queen?” Sinjin asked, glancing down at me as he offered his arm.

I nodded and accepted it, smiling a courteous thank-you at Klaasje as she opened the door for me. Flanked with Sinjin on one side and Klaasje on the other, I traversed the hallway toward the Green Room.

I felt like a bundle of raw nerves, anxious energy eating away at me until I thought I might short-circuit. I felt Sinjin’s hand on mine and glanced at him in surprise. He mouthed,
You will be fine
, and I just smiled my thanks, nodding even though I doubted his words.

What if I got up there and totally freaked out? What if my mind went blank and I forgot what I was going to say? Granted, I had index cards with my notes on them, but what if I suddenly developed lockjaw and couldn’t speak?

Stranger things have happened, right?

We entered the Green Room and my heart was beating so fast, I felt like I was going to become airborne. Mercedes met us and offered me a smile. She was dressed in a three-piece suit that had a look similar to mine, only
hers was vivid blue. And she seemed to be in a very fine mood, wearing a perpetual smile as she spoke with Sinjin and Klaasje. Once she’d double-checked the directions she’d given Sinjin, Mercedes took a deep breath and faced me.

“My Queen,” she said, bowing low. “Are you prepared to meet your subjects?”

I nodded as I watched her aura radiate outward in a sudden burst of rainbow colors. Usually Mercedes kept her aura under wraps—most otherworldly creatures can’t control their auras, but Mercedes can. Apparently it takes a lot of energy to allow her aura to glow in its natural rainbow state so she keeps it hidden. The only time it comes out is when she’s either doing magic or boasting. Somehow I had the feeling she wasn’t in a bragging mood.

She stood directly before me and took my hand in hers, giving me what felt like an electric shock as her energy coursed up my hand and into my arm. She closed her eyes and her mouth twitched as I imagined she was chanting the lines to whatever spell she was casting on me. Then she opened them, dropped my hand, and stepped away.

“Let me guess, you possessed me with Winston Churchill’s ghost to help with my speech?” I joked even though part of me hoped the answer was yes.

Mercedes shook her head as if I should know better. “I bespelled you so your voice will carry when you are speaking. Otherwise not everyone will hear you.”

I nodded and said nothing as she turned toward the balcony. She took the five steps separating her from the double doors and glanced back at me.

“Showtime.”

Then she pulled them open and took a step onto the balcony. I couldn’t really hear what she was saying—not because she’d failed to magick herself a louder voice but
because I was so nervous, I couldn’t focus on anything besides my rampaging heartbeat.

At the sound of clapping, Mercedes turned to face me, announcing that it was my turn to take the stage. I took a deep breath to steady myself and then started forward. As I approached the doors, I could see the throngs of creatures below, so many of them, I suddenly felt crowded, claustrophobic.

I took another deep breath and forced myself onward, feeling like I was en route to the hangman’s platform. Once outside, I braced myself on the balcony and observed the people of my kingdom.

“Behold your Queen,” Mercedes announced and turned to face me with a smile. Before me, the people of my kingdom all bowed or dropped into low curtsies.

“Hello,” I began, my voice wavering, echoing as if from unseen speakers. It was as if my words were suddenly carried by the wind, transported to those standing farthest from me. Immediately people started another round of their curtsies and bows. I didn’t know why but I was suddenly even more nervous than before.

I wasn’t sure what made me do it but I had this indescribable sudden urge to glance to my right, just below the balcony. And that was when I saw him.

Rand.

I couldn’t quell the shock that flared through me. My eyes locked on his and I couldn’t break free; I was physically unable to pull my gaze away. Rand merely stared back at me. There was no expression on his face—it was just placid and beautifully calm as always.

While Rand might have appeared to be calm and peaceful, I was another story, at least on the inside. It was like I was waging war with myself and neither side was winning.

What is he doing here?

I tried to root my feet to the ground when I started feeling top-heavy.

Jolie, snap out of it, dammit!
I screamed inwardly, begging myself not to completely lose it.

But the fact that Rand was standing directly below me was the final straw that broke the witch’s broom. I felt incredibly hot, like my fitted suit was suddenly compressing me like a boa constrictor. My heart continued its roller-coaster beating and it was all I could do to concentrate on breathing.

Why is Rand here? Has he come to judge me? Has he come to rebel against whatever it is I have to say?

I ignored the questions in my head and tried to focus on the notecards clutched in my sweaty hands but my mind wouldn’t allow me. I felt as if I was about to have a breakdown. Then it suddenly dawned on me that the last time I’d had a panic attack while en route to the battlefield in Scotland, there had been someone who had helped calm me down, someone who had offered me solace.

Sinjin.

I turned back, searching him out inside the Green Room, and spotted him immediately. He stood behind me and probably realized I was about to shit myself in front of three hundred people. He said nothing but his eyes were piercing and in their ice-blue depths, I could read his confidence in me. I took a deep breath and for a moment just continued to find strength in his eyes.

Almost immediately I felt a trickle of assurance break through the dam of self-doubt. My anxious heartbeat began to slow down.

I can do this
. My voice echoed through my head and feeling suddenly stronger, I offered Sinjin a quick smile of gratitude before facing my legion again.

“Welcome and, um, thank you for coming,” I began as I noticed how quiet everyone was—all their eyes on
me. I felt a lump forming in my throat and cleared it, hoping I could also swallow the frog. “I … I called this meeting because I thought it, uh, was important for you all to know who I am and why I’m standing here before you now.”

I took a deep breath and glanced down at the notecard in my trembling hands before returning my attention to my subjects.

“I am Jolie Wilkins and I am … I’m also your Queen.” Another deep breath. “But I never chose to be your Queen or anyone’s Queen.” There were a few rounds of “What did she say?” and a look of
Huh?
was basically plastered on everyone’s face. I cleared my throat again and forced myself to continue. “This position was thrust upon me and I’ve had no alternative but to, um, rise to the occasion and fulfill my role.”

The people in the audience were confused, their faces uneasy. No doubt they were wondering where the hell I was going with all this. And if they were curious, Mercedes had to be crapping herself right about now. But there was no way in hell I was about to turn around to find out.

“I don’t agree with the philosophy of monarchy,” I continued, starting to feel the fire of my words. “And while I have accepted my responsibility and I’m, um, obviously addressing you as your Queen tonight, I will only continue in this position if I can lead … the way I want to—my way.”

More furrowed brows and sideways glances echoed throughout the audience, but I didn’t allow them to interfere with my speech. I absolutely refused to look at Rand, not when just the sight of him had nearly thrown me entirely off course.

“So without further ado,” I persisted, “I’d like to enlighten you all as to my plans for … um, what that will entail.” I glanced down at the next card and then back
to my people again. “I propose that the world be divided into territories and using your guidance … um, by that I mean your votes … you know, like if you were voting for the president?” Then it dawned on me that not everyone here was American. God, where was good ol’ Winston when you needed him? This was becoming painful. “Anyway, I, uh, I’ll assign a leader to each territory. You can live wherever you want to live and of course you can bring your families with you,” I finished.

I inhaled deeply and tried to talk myself out of running back into the house and hiding out in my bedroom for the rest of my reign. No, I would get through this. I flipped through three notecards, realizing I’d gotten ahead of myself.

“Magistrates will, uh, be elected from each territory, and these magistrates will travel to Kinloch Kirk monthly to represent the needs and concerns of their citizens. Um, your magistrate will be your voice—like your representative—to ensure that all of you are content with how everything is going.”