Witchful Thinking (23 page)

I lurched backward as Gwynn plunged her blade into my gut. It was strange but I couldn’t feel any pain—nothing but numbness. Wrapping my hands around the hilt of Gwynn’s dagger, which was protruding from my stomach, I stared up at her in shock. The smile she wore was so cold, so calculating, it sent shivers down my spine. In a split second she burst into ash before me, leaving only Sinjin standing there, panting as he stared at me with eyes that were haunted and pained.

Suddenly I was sinking. I could feel my circulation slowing along with my heartbeat. I didn’t have the strength to remain upright, and I hit the ground hard. Then all I was aware of was the feeling of arms enveloping me with the promise of protection. I gazed up into the face of an angel … Rand. He knelt over me, cradling my head in his arms. He was crying.

I tried to say something, to tell him I wasn’t afraid and that I loved him, but I could only gurgle as I choked on my own blood. And my eyelids were so incredibly heavy, I couldn’t keep my eyes open even though Rand begged me to. It was pretty obvious that I was losing the battle. I let my eyes close and relished the darkness, the feeling that I was suspended in a sea of black … I was gliding—submerged in what felt like Jell-O, only hot. In fact, the Jell-O stuff was so scorching, it felt like the sting of a
thousand pins pricking my skin. I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, but the scenery made no sense to my muddled brain.

I was drifting through a river of what appeared to be lava, bright orange, red, and yellow. The acrid scent of sulfur permeated my nose every time the river bubbled up, looking like it was burping. I started to panic, wanting only to free myself from the scalding liquid. I fought against the current, trying to extricate my arms, but it was like trying to free myself from tar. I had a sudden sympathy for the dinosaurs. And like good old tyrannosaurs, brontosauruses, and stegs, I was about to become extinct in a river of molten heat. I had to wonder why I wasn’t already dead …

Then I felt a drop fall on my head and looked up into what seemed to be the ceiling of a cave, calcified with stalactites. Dripping off the stalactites was some sort of black, gelatinous goo. Another drop of the revolting stuff landed on my head and began dribbling down my forehead into my eyes. I blinked against the intrusion, and the inky goo left my eyes to travel down my cheeks, feeling like a snail’s trail.

The sounds of shuffling came from above me, and I made the mistake of glancing up again. Plastered on the cave’s ceiling were what looked like rows and rows of bat-like creatures. Every now and then they shifted to stretch out their rubbery wings as they stared down at me with glowing red eyes. How I’d missed them before, I had no idea.

I didn’t realize I’d screamed until it was too late. Immediately the air was thick with a flurry of winged creatures, dropping from their perches and flying headlong into one another or the cave walls. Some of them fell into the river and got swallowed up with a reeking burp. One of them fell alongside me and, in an attempt to free itself from the lava’s grip, reached out its scaly claws and
climbed onto my shoulder, pulling itself out of the ooze like some primordial being. I tried to shake it off but it latched on to my shoulder with rows of tiny, sharp teeth. I could feel their serration as they sunk into my flesh …

My eyes flew wide open and I sat bolt upright, still shaking my shoulder to rid myself of the hideous creature. It took me a second or two to realize I was at home in the master bedroom of Kinloch Kirk. I slowly inhaled while reassuring myself that bats with glowing red eyes were not about to consume me.

No, it had merely been a nightmare and nothing in this room had wings or glowing red eyes. Furthermore, nothing in this room was going to eat me …

I glanced down at Plum, who was lying just beside me. She stretched and lifted her head, as if wondering what the hell had gotten into me.

“Sorry, Plummy.” I groaned and shook my head as I thought about the fact that my subconscious must have been seriously stressed out to plague me with a dream like that.

A sudden breeze fluttered into the room and wrapped itself around me before dancing with the drapes on my French doors. A man’s shadow suddenly came into view on the balcony and I gasped.

“Who … who’s there?” I demanded, holding my hands together and concentrating on manifesting a ball of energy between them—something I could unload on the intruder.

He stepped into a ray of moonlight and I immediately recognized Sinjin. I dropped my hands and the blue light of energy I’d been creating fizzled with a pop as the sensation of warm relief suffused me.

“God, Sinjin,” I started, releasing a deep sigh.

He stood there, silhouetted against the breaking waves of the ocean beyond my balcony, lit only by the moonlight. Pressing his hands on either side of the doorway,
he regarded me with an amused smile. “I apologize for frightening you, my Queen.”

“Never mind,” I said in an irritated voice. “What the hell are you doing out there?” With his customary black attire, I found it difficult to see him. “You need to wear something other than black. You look like a floating head.”

Sinjin shrugged with a chuckle. “As I said, I apologize for intruding but I am merely doing the job for which I was hired.”

“What?” I demanded, albeit none too graciously.

“I am protecting you, as befits my role of sentry.”

I pushed the duvet away and watched Plum jump down from the bed with an irritated meow as she showed herself out of the bedroom. I grabbed my robe from the chair beside me and covered myself. I’d been wearing my usual sleepwear—boy shorts and a short-sleeved tee with nothing on underneath it. I wasn’t naked but I also wasn’t exactly dressed for company. And it was cold in my room and everyone knows what the cold does to a woman’s breasts. Judging by the look on Sinjin’s face, he knew it too.

“Would you prefer I leave?” he asked, prying his attention from my bust back to my face.

I looked up at him and immediately shook my head. After that horrible nightmare, I wanted nothing more than some company, even his. “No, please stay.”

He smiled warmly at my invitation and faced me with a question in his eyes. “Very well. May I come in?”

As a vampire, he didn’t have to ask permission to enter my abode; he was just being polite.

I nodded and watched him enter my room, his strides purposeful as he walked up to the end of my four-poster bed. He wrapped his hand around one of the posts and I couldn’t help but gulp. Even though he looked like he always did, tonight there seemed to be something
different about him. I couldn’t put my finger on it but he just appeared to be the embodiment of sex. Not that he wasn’t always the embodiment of sex, but somehow it was amplified tonight.

“Were you in the midst of a night terror?” he asked in a soft, caring voice.

“Yeah, you could say that,” I answered as I approached the fireplace and, conjuring a fire, stood before it, warming myself. I could feel Sinjin’s presence behind me, and when I felt his hands on my shoulders I didn’t try to elude his grasp. It was as if I needed his strength, his reassurance. Probably realizing I wouldn’t fight him, he began to rub my shoulders, massaging them.

“You are upset, my Queen.”

“Please don’t call me that,” I said quickly, suddenly realizing the appellation of “Queen” was something I didn’t really care for. I liked it better when he called me “poppet” or even “love.” Even though I had to admit (at least to myself) I didn’t like it when he called other women “love.” “Call me poppet please.”

He chuckled, no doubt reminded of the time when he and I first met and I’d told him not to call me poppet, that I hated the name. Funny how things change …

“Very well, poppet.” He paused and seemed to focus his attention on my shoulders. His grip was strong, to the point of almost being painful—but not quite. “Tell me what is bothering you.”

“How do you know I’m bothered?”

“You wear your tension.”

I sighed again, wondering where the hell I should start. There was a long-ass list of things that were bothering me and most of them had something to do with the most stubborn, frustrating warlock I’d ever met. Of course, I wasn’t about to confide my Rand dilemmas to Sinjin. I’d learned once before that Sinjin couldn’t keep
a secret—and I’d learned it the hard way. Granted, the one time I shared my Rand problems with Sinjin I hadn’t actually been in a normal frame of mind. In fact, I’d been out of my mind, drugged on Sinjin’s blood. I’d opened my big mouth and told Sinjin about the first time Rand and I had nearly bonded and how Rand had suddenly stopped before sealing the deal and had, instead, taken a cold shower. Of course, that situation turned ugly when Sinjin, intending to hurt Rand, announced he would never fail me in bed. So, yeah, long story short—I’d learned my lesson and wasn’t about to repeat the mistake.

“I’m lonely,” I said in a small voice and realized how absolutely true my words were. I was lonely in the depths of my soul, missing Pelham Manor, missing 1878 Rand and my present-day Rand, whom I’d grown to love so well.

“Why are you lonely, love?”

“I feel as if I’m living in a place I don’t recognize and becoming something I don’t know. I never wanted to be a Queen and yet, here I am, with a crown stuck to my head.”

“I see.” Sinjin took a step closer to me until I could feel his thighs brushing against my butt. He wrapped his arms around me and I relaxed into the strength of his chest, realizing I needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen. I needed a friend.

“I miss Pelham Manor and Christa,” I continued, my voice sounding hollow.

“And the warlock, no doubt?”

I nodded but said nothing more. I didn’t want to think about Rand or I might just turn into a blubbering, ridiculous mess.

“This is all new to you, poppet,” Sinjin whispered. His breath raised goose bumps along my neck.

“Yes it’s new, but I don’t think that’s the problem.” I
paused as I felt his fingers tracing my stomach, underneath my shirt. “Behave please.”

He chuckled and dropped his hand, taking mine captive instead.

“It is difficult now but it will not always be so.
Perfer et obdura, dolor hic tibi proderit olim
.”

I turned around and looked at him askance, wondering where the hell he came up with this stuff.

He chuckled again. “It is Latin, from Ovid. Translated, it means: Be patient and tough, someday this pain will be useful to you.”

I shook my head, suddenly amused by the fact that Sinjin was a complete enigma. I never knew what he was going to say or do. “Let me guess, you used to be a monk or something?”

“Not quite, love, although I did and still do have an appreciation for ancient Latin.”

I nodded but remained quiet as I enjoyed the feel of his immense hands when they returned to my shoulders and started massaging me again. I was suddenly struck by the thought that Sinjin could break me like a twig if he wanted to, and yet his touch could also be so comforting, so caring …

“Sinjin?”

“Yes, poppet?”

“Do you think I’m meant to be Queen?”

“Of course.” There was no hesitation on his part.

“What I mean is, do you think I can be the Queen that Mercedes needs me to be and the Queen that everyone is counting on?”

Sinjin stopped massaging me and took hold of my arms, turning me around to face him, a look of consternation on his face. It was an expression I didn’t recall him ever wearing. “Jolie, it is human nature to doubt oneself. That is one of the reasons I appreciate the fact that I am no longer human.”

I laughed as he stared down at me and traced the outline of my face. I closed my eyes at the feel of his touch; when I realized what I was doing, I immediately opened them again. Sinjin was so incredibly handsome, so incredibly sexy. I was suddenly shocked that I’d never really considered him as a front-runner in the race for my affections. Of course, I suppose I had in a way, but he’d always been overshadowed by Rand.

Even now he was overshadowed by Rand.

“You are a novice and have much to learn,” he continued.

I pried my thoughts away from Rand and back to the question at hand. “I’m afraid I’ll never learn everything I need to.”

He glanced down at me with a smile. “Will your path be difficult? Most probably. Do I believe you can handle it? Most definitely.” He smiled again and leaned into me until I thought he might kiss me. I took a step backward.

“Sinjin,” I warned.

He seemed to ignore me and brought his face to my ear, whispering. “You must trust in yourself, love.”

“Thank you,” I breathed and felt my heart flutter when Sinjin didn’t pull away from me. He was so close, his breath sent shivers up my shoulders. I closed my eyes again. I couldn’t help it.

“You shape the monarchy as you see fit, poppet. Do not be afraid to imprint it with your stamp. Make it your own.”

He pulled away from me and clapped his hands together as if his job here was now done. I suddenly felt cold by his absence—which was strange considering he, himself, was cold. I wrapped my arms around myself and offered him a smile.

“I have news for you,” he said, facing the balcony amid the sound of the crashing waves as they kissed the rocks below Kinloch Kirk.

“News?”

He turned to me and nodded. “Bella has agreed to assist us in reanimating her legion. She will be delivering the names of her dead shortly.”

“Is there anything you can’t do?” I asked with a laugh. “How in the heck did you manage that?”

He arched his brow at the question. “I can be … persuasive.”

I frowned. “Care to enlighten me?”

“I offered her two options—assist us or die.”

I just shook my head, actually feeling sorry for Bella. I knew she’d harbored a definite attraction to Sinjin—that much had been more than obvious when she’d kidnapped me and I’d watched her interact with him. Of course, it was hard to be female and not fall for Sinjin …

“When did you manage that?” I asked. Bella had only been relocated from Pelham Manor to Kinloch Kirk two days before. She was being held in a guest house set away from the main property—still confined by magic and guards.