Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) (15 page)

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Jake
cursed, feeling lower than a snake. He had hurt her, he had seen it in her
face. In her present state, at this fragile stage of her rehabilitation, she
certainly didn't need him messing up her mind. Jake realized then that he
didn’t want to settle for a lukewarm relationship, he wanted fire and
unpredictability. God help him, at some unknown point he had decided he wanted
Tye. The rational part of his brain told him he was asking for god-awful
trouble, but the rest of him didn’t give a damn at this moment.

Jake
muttered a string of curses. For someone who'd grown up around women, he seemed
to do all the wrong things around Tye. Maybe he shouldn't have touched her, but
man, his brain and body had gone into overload.

With a
determined glance at Tye's straight back, Jake wondered if there was a way to
get through to her. Should he risk it and see if she’d give them a
chance?

He
couldn't just let her walk away. He wanted to be more than a friend. Friendship
was ludicrous between them after the history they shared.

Jake
looked up at the cloudless sky, the heat of the afternoon seeping into his
bones. He clenched a fist. He might as well admit he’d never stopped
wanting Tye, even with all that had happened.

He
stopped kidding himself. He needed to finish this thing with Tye for good. She
wasn’t a woman who would hang around, or who wanted to set down roots.
She would never change. Jake needed to get her out of his system and get on
with his life. But how?

Tye swam
once more to the end of the pool and back, then floated facing the star-dappled
sky, a sense of peace settling on her.

In the
two weeks she had been here at Jake's ranch, she had finally settled herself
into a semi-comfortable frame of mind. The bouts of depression had eased, and
for the first time since the accident, Tye actually felt no urgency about
returning to rodeo. It was always there at the back of her mind, but the
feeling that life was passing her by had abated.

She had
begun writing again, more frequently than ever. Her outline on women in rodeo
had been submitted to a magazine editor, and they had expressed interest in
seeing the article in its entirety. Her life was coming together. She didn't
feel quite at a loose end. Tye had begun to scope out other writing
opportunities.

She
regretted that she didn't see much of Jake, but that's the way she had wanted
it, wasn't it? He had been keeping his distance, and they saw each other in
passing. A part of Tye missed him, a part of her yearned for what could have
been. The rational part knew it was her own fault. What she perceived as her
physical deficits kept her at a standstill. Tye knew she had to work on that
part of her life, and maybe the rest would fall into place. Even so, she knew
there would be no future for her and Jake. They’d had their shot at
happiness ten years ago.

Yesterday
Mama had driven her sports utility vehicle out to her, and to prove to Mama and
herself that she could handle her four-by-four, Tye had driven them into town
for lunch. Afterwards she drove Mama the twenty miles back to her ranch. It had
turned out to be a pleasant afternoon and some of the hurts had started to
heal.

Having
her own vehicle gave Tye a renewed sense of freedom. Now she could schedule her
doctor visit without worrying about depending on others.

She rode
Pongo daily. She had reached a point in her riding where she felt confident of
her skill once again. She compensated for the prosthetic leg by using simple
hand signals on Pongo's withers to indicate turns and changes of gait. The
inability to use inward leg pressure on her right side left her no other
choice. Tye felt satisfied with both her progress and Pongo's. She had also
seen the wisdom in Jake's suggestion about using a breakaway boot strap to keep
her foot in place in the stirrup. However, she had not yet shared that
knowledge with him. An ache of regret pulled at Tye. She missed Jake.

She swam
lazily toward the side of the pool, then pulled herself out to sit on the
curved edge, enjoying the night air on her skin. There was nothing in the world
like a warm, Oklahoma night. She had always taken it for granted. Now she
didn't. Tye realized nothing should be taken for granted. Too bad it had taken
the loss of a limb to teach her that lesson.

It was
midnight, hours later than her usual swim time, so Tye had not turned on the
overhead flood light. As she sat there Tye suddenly sensed another presence.
Nervously, she kicked her foot through the water.

"Is
that you, Jake?"

"Tye?"

Relief
flooded Tye. "Yes. I didn't turn the lights on in case it bothered
you."

"The
lights wouldn't bother me." There was silence.

Tye
sensed he stood on the opposite end of the pool.

"It's
pretty late."

"I'm
all keyed up, I couldn't sleep." She had been too excited to sleep. She
and Pongo had made such good progress, she couldn't get it out of her mind. She
wanted to share it with someone.

"I'll
leave you to your swim then," Jake said.

Tye
didn't want him to leave. She had to share her news or burst. Even if Jake
thought her a fool for getting excited about something so simple, she had to
tell him. She needed him to know of her progress. In part, some of her progress
was due to him. He had had the foresight to have Pongo brought to the ranch.

"Jake,
that's all right. I don't mind company. Did you come out to swim, too?"

"No,
I've been going over my quarterly figures. I thought I'd come outside to clear
my head."

"Everything
okay with work?" Tye wanted to tell him she felt embarrassed about their
last encounter. She had acted out of character, almost childish. The incident
in the barn had been almost two weeks ago, but it was still fresh in her mind,
teasing her.

"Yes.
We've got it pretty much down to a science, now."

"How's
Amy? I haven't seen her in a while."

"She
was here last Sunday. I didn't see you around."

Tye had
made herself scarce that Sunday purely out of a sense of self-preservation. She
wanted to overload on Jake, be in his company, so she had deliberately stayed
away. Why cause herself unnecessary heartache?

"Amy
has a new job working at the local elementary school."

"She’s
working with kids? I always liked kids, myself."

"Yes,
she’s training to be a teacher's aide." Tye heard a sound like a
chair toppling over, then Jake's muttered curse.

"You
can turn on the overhead light, if you want," Tye said slowly, gearing herself
for the glare of the lights. Why have him stumbling in the dark just because
she was shy of anyone seeing her leg? It would be exposed. For some reason, the
thought didn't bother her quite as much as she thought it would. She held her
breath, then looked up as the soft light flooded the area. Her crutches lay
beside the pool. She could stand and move any time she wanted.

Jake
stood across the pool from her, facing into the light. He had on a dark shirt,
unbuttoned and tucked into the waistband of a pair of faded jeans. His flat
stomach drew her eyes before she forced herself to look away, trying not to
stare. She wanted to keep looking at Jake instead of pretending she
wasn’t looking. Although he needed a shave, Jake looked better than ever.
Her brain conjured up the warm feel of his body beneath her fingertips. It
might have been minutes ago, instead of two weeks since he had held her.

Under
the lights, Tye willed herself to remain still. Her first instinct had been to
cover her stump. If Jake wanted to see her leg, or what was left of it below
the knee, maybe she could be brave enough to take that step. Perhaps that time
had come. Maybe she needed that shock factor to harden her, so she wasn't so
sensitive out in public. The thoughts were easier than the actual fact, though.
Tye still bit at her lips, her fingers tensed as Jake moved back toward her.

He was a
man, after all, she thought nervously. He wouldn't scream or throw up, would
he?

Tye
began to speak tensely, quickly, "I've made some real progress with Pongo.
We've been riding every day. I work each day on some simple hand signals. He's
pretty easy, he caught right on."

Jake
pulled a chair up and straddled it backward, his eyes on her. "You're
using hand signals?"

Tye
nodded. "Yes, pretty simple ones. He neck reins really well, but I wanted
to teach him the hand signals for more fine-tuned riding." She drew a deep
breath, then admitted, "After shortening my right stirrup a tad, I also
took into consideration your suggestion. I'm using a breakaway strap to keep
the boot in the stirrup."

"Have
you ever thought about teaching others to ride?"

Forgetting
about her leg, and her self-consciousness, Tye twisted around and faced Jake
fully. "Teach riding? You’ve taken me by surprise, Jake. To tell you
the truth I haven't thought about that."

"I'm
sure there's a need for it. Think of the confidence builder riding would be.
Look what it's done for you."

Tye
laughed. "Me? I'm the least confident person I know right now. Isn’t
it silly to be so excited about something so simple?"

Jake
shook his head. "It’s not simple. This represents your progress.
You're a different person from when you first came. Maybe some of the hurt and
confusion is still there, but you're working past it. I've got plenty of space
here if you decide you want to tackle something like that...give riding
lessons." His glance swept over her and he smiled, as if he liked what he
saw. Tye felt happy suddenly, but she remained cautious.

"What
are you saying, Jake? You know I can’t stay here. You’ve got plans,
I’ve got plans. This whole deal is temporary." She had to remind him
of that, and keep her thoughts in line against rising hopes.

"We
can work around it."

Jake
shrugged, and hope surged foolishly, perhaps, into Tye’s heart.

"It’s
another option, if you decide it’s something you’d like to do. I
have the room."

Tye made
herself breathe slowly. She had to face reality. "I won’t be
staying, Jake," she told him firmly. "I just haven’t found a
place yet." Tye took a deep breath. "On a lighter note, I never did
tell you how much I appreciate you bringing Pongo to me. It was the right thing
to do. It seems like I’m forever apologizing for the way I’ve
acted, but I am sorry."

Jake’s
smile melted her insides. Tye wanted to fall into a heap at his feet. She
swallowed hard.

"I’m
glad it’s working out."

Tye
looked down over her one piece black bathing suit. The neckline plunged to
expose part of her breasts, the legs were cut high to her hips. Suddenly, she
saw her leg. It ended abruptly below the knee. It looked so different and out
of place. Despite her earlier moment of braveness, she pulled her legs closer
to her body.

"Don't,"
Jake said, his voice low. "There's nothing to hide, no reason to hide.
You've got beautiful legs."

Incredulously,
Tye protested, "Are you kidding ―"

"You
do," he insisted. "You've kept yourself in shape, and both your legs
are beautiful and sleek. Look at your residual limb. Even the knee cap is the
same size as the other one."

Tye did
look down, seeing her stump subjectively, perhaps for the first time. Jake was
right, her legs were finely muscled, and the right knee looked the same as the
other one.

"Even
if you hadn't kept yourself in such good shape, believe me, you're not lacking.
Only in your own mind. You've got a lot to offer, Tye."

Tye took
the compliment and digested it, hugging close the warm glow it created. She
narrowed her eyes playfully and quipped, "So now you're saying my mind is
lacking?"

Jake
gazed at her, his eyes half closed as he surveyed her from head to toe. "Nope."
His mouth curved sensually. "I'd take you mind and all."

"Thanks,"
she said with affected dryness, trying not to put too much weight into his
choice of words. They were words, that was all, but her heart beat faster in
her chest.

"So
here's fair warning. If I give you a hand now and then, don't take offense.
It's not because of your leg, it's because you're a beautiful woman, and we're
friends, remember?"

"You're
full of surprises," she came back breathlessly, elation gripping her. She
felt as if she needed to dispel the seriousness of their conversation.
"But now I sense male chauvinistic tendencies."

That
sexy-as-hell grin split his face. "You don't know the half of my
tendencies."

Taking
up the challenge to get everything out in the open, Tye admitted slowly,
"About that day in the barn, I guess I just got overloaded on emotion. Do
you think we can start over?"

Jake
nodded his head, his eyes never leaving her face. "As far as starting
over, Honey, we can start anywhere you want."

Not
quite the answer she had expected, but coming from Jake, she didn't know what
to expect anymore. One moment he donned the suit of a successful business man.
Other times he wore sexy-as-sin jeans, bringing to mind the Jake she used to
know.

"Well,
considering how we began, maybe the best way is to go back to the
beginning," Tye said breezily, pushing herself to stand on her foot. She
grabbed her crutches and stood straight, no longer trying to hide, but still
watching his face. Her breath came quickly, but when he smiled she felt the
tension in her shoulders ease.

"We
can do that," Jake agreed, moving closer. "Or we can go back to the
middle. Myself, I favor the middle."

"What
do you consider the middle?" Tye asked boldly, watching him pull his shirt
tail from his pants. He shrugged the material from his shoulders and let it
drop to the ground. He stepped closer and startled her by reaching forward to
run a gentle fingertip along her jaw.