Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) (14 page)

"I
imagine rodeo life must play havoc with a woman who's got a husband and
kids."

"A
woman has no business dragging kids on the rodeo circuit," Tye said
flatly.

"So
you’re really dead set against marriage?"

Tye
threw back her head, wary of the question. "As long as I’m rodeoing,
I know there'll be no husband or kids. You know how I grew up, Jake. Daddy was
hardly ever around. I'd never want my kids to think rodeo meant more to me than
they did." After the words left her mouth, Tye felt appalled. Quickly, she
added, "Daddy loved us. We knew that."

"It
must have been hell on your mother."

Tye
looked at him quickly, then nodded. "It was tough on Mama, making a go of
it alone." To get past the emotion in her throat, Tye blurted, "You
must wish things were different. You had a great football career lined up,
Jake. You were really good. How much it must have hurt you to give it up."

He
pulled on a pair of leather gloves and slowly turned to face her. His face
looked emotionless. Tye felt as if she was up against that wall he sometimes
put up.

"That
was a long time ago. I was a kid."

"I'm
sorry," she said quickly, "Maybe I shouldn't bring it up, but
everything went so wrong, didn’t it, Jake?"

A frown
hung between Jake’s dark brows and his eyes didn’t meet hers.
"Let it go, Tye. It’s old history. It doesn’t hurt
anymore."

"It
wasn’t that long ago," Tye protested. He was wrong ― it still
hurt.

"It’s
almost eleven years." Jake slid his gaze to her. "It seems like
another life. I’ve made a success of my business. I really like being my
own boss."

Tye
couldn’t let it go. "You were ready to go professional."

"Yeah,
but real life gets in the way. My parents needed help, my sisters were
dependent, I couldn't let them down."

"You
gave it all up and worked to support your family." Tye’s throat felt
dry. She didn't think she had ever known someone so unselfish. How could she
have been so blind back then?

"Something
like that."

"I
wish . . ." Tye let her voice trail off. She couldn’t put her wishes
into words. She wanted Jake’s love again.

"What,
Tye?" There seemed to be an urgency in his voice.

"Nothing,
Jake," she said softly, feeling like a coward. "There’s no
sense in rehashing the past. I guess I’m just missing rodeo." At
least she had been out there doing it all these years.

"I
missed the football in the beginning," Jake admitted in a low voice.
"I'm too old to play professionally now, but I've always tried to keep up
with the game."

"Is
that why you have Sunday games here?"

"Partly.
It's also a good way to keep in touch with friends."

"What
are you going to do with this place?"

"Why
do you ask?"

"It's
big enough that you could do just about anything. The barn alone would hold
twenty horses."

"Actually,
I've got plans to raise horses."

Tye's
eyes sparkled. "Really? I've always wanted a barnful of horses. I've
settled for four because I was on the road so much. It seemed foolish to have
more than that and have them sit idle at Mama's ranch."

"Well,
that's the major plan."

"How
come you haven't done it before now?"

"Time.
When I took over from my dad, the industry was undergoing a major change.
Luckily, my dad’s manager was really great, otherwise I’d have sunk
the business. We had to figure out a way to go with the changes and come out on
top. He retired about a year ago. I've hired a new manager and it frees up some
time for me now. I’ve also been doing a lot more carving these last few
years."

"Have
you had any shows?"

"Right
now I’m looking for a place to hold a regular, ongoing show."

"You're
lucky, Jake, that you've found something that will satisfy you." She
looked around. "This will make a wonderful horse farm."

Jake
moved closer and Tye sensed a new intensity in his gaze. "What about you,
Tye? Have you found something that will satisfy you?"

You. The
answer popped instantly into her mind. She could feel the heat from his body,
the magnetic aura that attracted her to him against her better judgment.

She
moved closer, touched a finger to the skin of his neck, traced the line of his
collarbone. His warm chest was an expanse of muscle. The tanned flesh seemed to
beckon to her, making her want to touch him. "I'm still looking." She
swallowed hard and attempted to make her voice flip, knowing she had to protect
herself and keep her defenses up. "There's so much out there."

His eyes
slitted and his jaw clenched as if he were displeased with her answer, maybe
even angry. Tye saw him draw off the gloves, and then his hand came up to curve
behind her neck. He urged their bodies closer, his grip almost rough. Where
they touched, fire ignited and burned.

"Why
look any farther than here, Tye?" His murmur seemed to indicate
impatience. His scent swirled around her. Tye closed her eyes as his mouth
touched hers. She needed to concentrate on each unique sensation: the scent of
Jake, the touch of his big hands, the sound of their mingled breaths, the taste
of lips against lips. Some of it felt so wonderfully familiar. A groan let
loose from her throat, startling her with its connotations of intimacy.

Tye felt
as if her legs were wobbling, and the notion was reinforced as Jake's arm
settled on her waist and pulled her close, steadying her. She angled her head
so she could feather a kiss across his jaw. There was no denying it, Jake made
her feel special. Being close to him gave rise to emotions she had all but
buried.

Jake
leaned down and lifted her off her feet. Tye murmured in soft protest as she
clutched his shoulders, feeling the bunching of muscles. He nuzzled his face in
her neck a moment, carrying her a short distance. Then he let her feet touch
the floor and followed her down to a bed of loose straw.

"We
shouldn't be doing this," Tye murmured, knowing she had to say the words.
Her own protest seemed to mean nothing as she sought his mouth once more,
winding her arms around his neck, then pressing them down his long back to the
base of his spine. He felt so good! She liked the weight of his body along
hers. It had been so long.

"Yeah,
we should." Those huskily uttered words tore through Tye like jags of
lightning. Her desire turned her body warm and boneless. Jake touched his
tongue to her lips, then sought her inner warmth.

Heat
such as she'd never known uncoiled inside Tye, snaking to the very core of her.
God, they fit so well together.

Vaguely,
she realized Jake's legs were wound around hers, one hand gently cupping the
seat of her jeans. Tye became even more aware of his strength, the hardness of
his body. She splayed her fingers along his ribs, traced the contours and
hollows.

Suddenly,
Jake shifted his weight away from her, but Tye pulled him back. He looked down
at her, his cheekbones touched by a faint flush, his eyes steady with purpose.

"You're
a beautiful woman, Tye. To this day I’ve never seen hair like yours, the
color of deep gold straw." He picked up a handful of loose straw, then let
it slip from his fingers. He leaned forward to kiss her eyelids, gently
trailing kisses across her jaw and down her neck into the warm, heated opening
of her blouse. He pulled two buttons through the holes, and Tye quivered
beneath him.

She was
tongue-tied. She wanted to tell Jake how she felt, but she couldn't. She
pressed herself to him instead, reveling in the feel of him against her, though
his hands on either side of her in the straw held some of his weight off of
her.

She
would sort out the sensations later she decided. Meanwhile, she felt bombarded
by his every touch, and breathing became more difficult. Jake’s body
moved heavily against her, and she felt protected, but so hot. She wanted to
say the hell with everything and damn the consequences. Wild thoughts raced
through her mind. She wanted more than Jake’s chest naked against her,
she craved the weight of his body against her own. Now.

His
hands moved up under her rib cage, the long fingers stopping just short of
touching her breasts. Tye caught her breath, waiting for them to move upward,
sensation piercing her to the core when those hands gently cupped the sensitive
flesh. A deep, shuddery breath escaped her lips. She swallowed quickly, watched
him lower his head and kiss her pale flesh above the V of her blouse.

Tye
pushed her fingers through the fine silkiness of his hair, needing to touch
him. She pressed his head to her, fingers frantically tracing the back of his
skull. The tremor that coursed through his body urged her to move closer still.

"This
feels so good, it should be illegal," Tye murmured, opening her eyes to
stare up at him. She knew her hair probably lay in a wild, tangled mess, but
she didn’t care.

Jake
smiled, one brow going up. "We'd be great together, Tye." His gaze
dropped to her mouth, and she shivered, lifting her face to seek his lips.

Tye
wondered fleetingly if she were brave enough to take things one step further.
Three months ago, before her accident, she might not have hesitated to make
love with Jake. Now she let the thought sink in, let it stiffen her into
emotional paralysis. Was that all this meant to Jake ― physical
gratification?

With his
long legs twined around hers, Tye understood the crystal clear implications of
letting this continue. Intimacy lingered a step away. Her body wanted to feel
him against her, yet her brain urged caution, breathing fear and uncertainty
into the situation.

Her
withdrawal was slight, but Jake must have felt it. Looking down at her, he
narrowed his eyes and seemed to read her hesitation.

In that
split second, her reasoning reasserted itself. An emotion akin to panic flared
in Tye. Her earlier eagerness dissolved, hardened into an attempt to draw back.
"This is a bad idea," she said shakily. Damn! Why had she let things
go this far?

Twisting
away from Jake, Tye sat up and swiped bits of straw from her jeans. She chewed
at her lips. When had she turned into a coward? Fear made her draw away.
"I'm sorry, Jake," she muttered, unable to look at him.

"Are
you hurt, Tye? Did I put too much weight on you? Is it your leg ―"

She
stumbled to her feet with a laugh, ignoring the hand Jake held out.
Self-directed anger and disgust tore through her. She felt ready to snap.
"Yes, it’s my leg, but it’s not my leg in the way you mean.
I’m not hurt."

"Then
what ―

"Please
don't say anything more. I know this is a big letdown. Well, suffice it to say
it would've been a bigger mistake if we had continued. Luckily, I came to my
senses in time."

Jake
grabbed her wrist as she tried to turn away.

"Don’t!"
Tye jerked her wrist away and half ran from the small room back into the main
barn. She heard Jake’s steps behind her. If sound was telling, she
figured he was royally ticked at her. "Let's not talk it to death. It's
just not a good idea. We can’t go back."

"I’m
not trying to go back. Maybe we can go forward."

"This
might be a normal occurrence for you, Jake, rolling in the hay." Angrily,
Tye slapped more straw from her jeans. "It's not for me. I don't take this
lightly."

"What
are you implying? I've never taken intimacy for granted."

Tye
choked on a sob. At least he didn't say "sex." That made it sound so
base, as if there were nothing else attached. No human emotion. With a
self-derisive laugh, Tye realized she was caught up in an excess of emotion.
Maybe it was just sex and maybe she was the guilty one here. The thought left
her cold. Was she the one in it for instant gratification? It seemed she had
wanted Jake for so many years, why not take what was offered? But no, she
couldn’t handle exposing her body, her leg.

Knowing
she needed a defense against the emotion Jake stirred in her, she snapped
angrily, "I can figure out what you thought. Tye Jenkins, party girl,
hopping in and out of men's beds. I've heard it all before." Hurt more
than she cared to admit, Tye hurried from the barn. She had to get away from
Jake before she gave in and went back into his arms and finished what she had
started. Her body throbbed, reminding her she wanted to do just that. She had
lost all control over her emotions: all she could think about was what her body
was crying out for. And it was crying. Tye knew instinctively she was missing
something really wonderful. The feelings she had had for Jake as a young girl
were no comparison to what was happening now. Now felt so much more real, so
much stronger. But her life was a mess; she couldn’t involve Jake any
further in it. It wasn’t as simple as falling in love and showing that
love. Tye looked down at her hands. They were shaking.

Jake
came up behind her. She saw him standing there out of the corner of her eye,
hands on his hips. "You're wrong, Tye, that's not what I thought."

"I
think neither one of us was thinking, Jake." Tye pushed past him. The ache
in her leg told her to stop, but she kept walking. She shouldn't have been so
curious to explore the sensations Jake evoked in her. Intimacy involved body
parts. No way did she want to expose herself, not when she felt so deficient. A
small voice, the rational part of her, said she wasn’t lacking but she
couldn’t convince her heart.

As Tye
walked, emotion twisted inside, making her hurt. Why did she still feel this
way about Jake? Why did making love with him fill her thoughts to the exclusion
of all else?

"I
wasn't intending a roll in the hay!" Jake insisted, not bothering to
follow her. "Damn it, I didn't plan on this happening."

Tye
didn't turn, but his words ripped through her. "I didn't plan it,
either," she said, but in a whisper she didn't intend for him to hear.