Wished Away: A Broken Fairy Tale (24 page)

Meeting his parents instantly makes me think of the Bosi’s and the close relationship I’ve always had with them. I try and push away the thought and look back at Gage’s parents feeling more nervous than ever. “It’s pleasure to meet you both as well.” I’m still getting used to the idea that Gage’s parents are as successful as they are. Whenever he talks to me about his family, they always seemed very normal. He’d talk of Christmases and Thanksgivings as if they were the average gathering, and now I can only imagine the extravagance they must entail. But that’s Gage, he doesn’t care about those things, and to be honest, that’s part of why I love him. He made our first date and extravagant affair, but he can also make hot dogs on the deck seem just as special.

“Well son, how about you and I take a walk around and let these two ladies go across the street and get out of the cold?” He tosses a pair of keys to Peggy who catches them with ease and I decide I like her already.

“Alright sweetie, I have a bottle of wine stashed away over there, let’s have a drink and get to know each other.” Mrs. Scott winks up at her son playfully and loops her arm through mine just as Gage kisses my cheek laughing as he and his father immediately talk business.

Yep, I like her
.

We walk up to a large trailer and Peggy unlocks the door, escorting me inside. I immediately realize this must be an office for Mr. Scott to work in while making the grounds livable. The walls are dark oak and there is a large round table behind the driver’s seat with computer screens built in. I can only imagine how much money something like that must cost, and they have it in a trailer. Peggy begins sifting through the cabinets and I take a seat on the soft red couch off to the other side of the table. With so many questions spinning through my head, I don’t even know where to start.

“Ah, found it!” Peggy pours two glasses full of red wine into plastic cups and I realize she’s as much a walking contradiction as her son. By appearance, I assumed she was going to be an uptight socialite from Manhattan, but two minutes with her, and I think we could be best friends. “So, I want to hear how it is that you managed hooked my little boy?”

I smile sadly thinking of the first time our paths truly crossed. It seems like a lifetime ago, and yet at the same time, only yesterday. The way Peggy is looking at me with those same compassionate blue eyes as Gage, I decide to open up. I take a long drink from my wine and begin. “Well, I met Gage, and his wife Cassie years back. He went to college with my husband…” I correct myself, “my late husband, Dave."

She reaches over and takes my hand in hers, holding her glass up for a toast. “May God bless their souls.”

I’m touched by her thoughtfulness and understanding, which gives me even more courage to spill my heart to her. “When Dave was shot, he was taken to the hospital where Gage was on call and was one of the doctors that operated on him.” I take another drink of my wine trying to hold back the tears remembering the way Dave’s body looked in that room--so broken--I never heard his voice again after that day. “Gage was there for me those horrible days that Dave was lying there, fighting for his life. I didn’t realize it then, but the advice he gave me while I sat next to Dave’s lifeless body gave me hope. It gave me hope that Dave could hear me when I spoke with him. But he also gave me hope that I was going to make it even if Dave didn’t.” Tears well in my eyes and I can’t believe I’m saying all of this to someone I just met.

But Peggy tightens her grip on my hand. “I’m so glad he was there for you, Jessica. Sometimes I worry about him because he had closed himself off from all of us for so long when Cassie died. But since he found you, I see the light back in his eyes.” She takes a sip of her wine again and smiles. “How long has it been if you don’t mind me asking?”

Just yesterday is what my hearts feels like. “A little over two years.”

“Gage says you two were the perfect couple. It must be hard to move on from something like that.” I can tell she’s being sincere and not fishing for information and I continue to let my guard down.

“I didn’t want to leave my house for the first year. Everything reminded me of him.” I take a sip of my wine trying not to break down. “Dave was my best friends ever since I was a kid. When my parents died, he became my family. When he died, it nearly killed me. If it wasn’t for Charlotte, I don’t know if I would have ever gotten out of bed again.”

She watches me assessing my words as she drinks from her glass and tops the both of us off without a word. “Gage tells me what an amazing mother you are. I could tell what a big heart you have the second I saw you today.” Her expressions turns sad. “He also told me how spunky and care free you used to be, and are starting to become again. He likes that. He likes it a lot. He needs someone with a lot of spirit and positive energy. Cassie and his relationship was so serious, they were so hell bent on saving the world, they forgot to just be with each other and experience life. He’s doing that with you and it makes me happy to know.”

Her words strike a chord because in my time with Gage, I try every day not to compare him to my perfect Dave, because while in so many important ways they are the same, both kind, compassionate, and loyal, there’s a carefree powerful domination in Gage that electrifies parts of me that I never knew existed. “I’m the one who is happy. He’s made me realize parts of myself that I hadn’t known were there. He’s helped me find my spark again, but I don’t know if he knows what he’s gotten himself into. I can be quite a handful.” I joke. I want that part of me back so badly and sitting here with Peggy, I can feel it flicker alive.

“You and Gage have gone through things that no one should have to. I just hope you’re ready for what he has to offer, because my boy doesn’t fall in love easy, but when he does, it’s forever.” I’m surprised that his mom is telling me that he loves me when he only told me a few days ago himself. Before I can respond she answers my question. “A mother always knows when her child is in love, and sweetheart, there’s no doubt he loves you by the way he watches you and holds on to you like you may vanish into thin air.” Her smile is bright and proud and I match it.

“I love him, too. It’s just hard to move on, it feels like I’m forgetting Dave, like I’m dishonoring him in some way.” I stop myself, wishing I could take the words back.

“That just means you care, Jessica. But you have to let go of the guilt, because moving on doesn’t mean forgetting.” She mirrors Kat’s words from months ago and they’ve never rang truer.

Just then a cold burst of wind sweeps through the room and Gage is bending over in the doorway that’s too small for his tall frame. “Wine? It’s hardly past 3 in the afternoon Mother.” He kisses the top of Peggy’s head and she looks at me with a bright smile that tells me to heed her advice.

“Well, how else do you expect me to get your beautiful Jessica to spill her guts to me?” she winks and we both know how well her plan really did work.

Gage looks down at me with a worried expression and I have to laugh. He knows how private I am about Dave. “You ok?’

I take the lapel of his coat and pull him down to kiss me square on the lips. “Never better.”

Mr. Scott swings open the door letting the cold air once again shoot in. “Did you hear Peg? Our boy is up to be head of surgery at the biggest hospital in the country. How can I bribe him into taking over this place now with an opportunity like that dangling in front of him?”

My heart sinks back to reality, but instead of cheering and congratulating her son, Peggy takes my hand in hers seemingly knowing what I’m thinking. “Congratulations, honey. When will you know?”

Gage slides in next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “A few months.” He turns to look at his dad standing proudly above us, “And Dad, as I told you, I haven’t decided a thing yet. I like the looks of this place. I see a lot of potential. A bed and breakfast is more my style than the hotels and you know that.” His voice is firm and unwavering.

However his dad’s face hardens and he rubs his hands over his bald head. “Goddamnit Gage, when in the hell are you going to make a decision for yourself? Lord knows I want you to come back and work with me. Shit, that’s what I’ve always wanted. But…” he pauses and looks down at me and tries to smile. “But I can’t stand by and watch you give up your dream for someone you just met!” His voice trails off as his eyes meet mine with regret.

The sting is deep, but only because he is right. How could I even think of letting Gage give up his lifelong dream for me? Gage slams his hand on the table and Peggy does the same, both directing their attention to Mr. Scott. “Michael Scott, I’m ashamed of you. You know Gage enough to know that he only does things he’s sure of, and he’s obviously sure of this beautiful, kind woman here, so show some respect.”

Gage stands and looks directly into his father’s eyes. “I’m not a kid anymore. I know more than anyone what it means to lose every fucking thing that matters. And now that I’ve been lucky enough to find something so much better than I’ve ever known, so much different than anything I’ve ever known…no job in the world is worth losing that.” He leans over the table and kisses his mother on the cheek, before taking my hand in his and leading me out the door with nothing but an irate glance back to his father.

He begins driving away, still without a word and I begin to feel bad that I’ve caused what had started off as a perfect introduction into something much different. The way Gage defended me back there gave me a peek inside his heart and made me realize how much he truly does love me and how much he appreciates what we’ve found together, but I can’t be the cause for a family argument. I won’t. And I’m most certainly capable of standing up for myself. Maybe I haven’t proved that as much to Gage since we’ve been together, but there hasn’t been much to protest before now. “Gage…”

He cuts me off before I can even begin. “Don’t say it, Jess. Don’t.” He slams his hand against the steering wheel.

“It’s your dream. They even know it. I couldn’t live with myself if…”

“Dreams change Jess.” He reaches over, takes my hand in his, and places a kiss on my palm, making the connection I so badly crave. “Dreams change.”

Dave

“W
hat in the Hell were we thinking Dave? I feel like she’s literally sucking the life out of me, just look at her. Does she ever stop eating?” Jess’s bright smile completely contradicted her words when she looked down at our sweet baby. It had been almost three days since we’d slept, although Jess would beg to differ, that all I did was sleep, and we were both going a little crazy I think. Camryn warned us that nothing would ever prepare us for the change the birth of a child would have on your life, and I’d shake my head in agreement, but then ignorantly thought to myself,
oh please
,
sure I do
. I soon realized that thinking one knows what having a child is like, and actually living the life altering experience, are two totally different things. In the instant that Charlotte was born, I began looking at life much differently. I was no longer just responsible for Jess and me, but this little person now depended on us for her survival, and nothing could prepare you for that reality until you hold your precious child in your arms.

Another thing that changed for me when Charlotte was born was how I looked at Jess. The way she fought with every last bit of her energy to bring Charlotte into the world made me fall in love with her all over again. But when I held Charlotte in my arms and looked at the sweet face that was the perfect mix of Jess and me, I fell in love with her in a much different way--a much deeper way.

I leaned down and took Charlotte from Jess, ready to burp and change her, but stopped and bent down to kiss Jess on her unwashed hair. It was amazing how beautiful she was to me, thirty pounds heavier, dark circles under her sleepy blue eyes, adjusting herself back into her shirt, and I paused and turned back to her. “Thank you,” my voice cracked a little when I saw her face soften and tears welled.

She reached up, pulling Charlotte and me back down to her side, snuggling tightly. “I should be thanking you. You gave me the one thing I’ve always wanted. A real family.” When her eyes met mine, it was as if the world had stopped spinning and there was nothing in the world but those two girls in my arms. “Don’t ever leave me.”

I don’t know what made her say it. Maybe it was her parents dying when she was so young. Maybe it was that she saw a glimpse into our future, but I simply pulled her closer, kissed her softly, and promised I’d always be in her heart.