Winning Back Ryan (24 page)

             
“That’s enough, Ryan!” I shouted back.

I steered him down the street towards our apartment. I loathed thinking that we had anything left that was ‘ours.’ Five blocks later, we were outside my door.

              “I told him not to go after you,” Chuck said from the sidewalk.

             
“I wish he had listened to you,” I replied as Brian held the door open while I dragged Ryan into the apartment. I struggled getting him up the stairs. I took my keys out; Brian took them from me, opening the door. I walked Ryan into the bedroom, telling him to lie down on the bed.

             
“You’re joining me?” he asked, sounding hopeful.

             
“Oh, I have something special planned for you.” I whispered in his ear. “Lie down on your side.”

             
“My side?” he asked, and I nodded, patting his side. I walked over to Ryan’s dresser, opening the second drawer. I took out the pair of handcuffs, seeing Brian standing in the doorway, watching.

             
“Close your eyes, Ryan,” I said.

             
“Okay.” With his eyes shut, I handcuffed him to the bedpost.

             
He opened his eyes. “What are you doing? I’m still dressed.”

             
“I’m keeping you from getting arrested, getting hit by a car, or choking on your own vomit while you sleep, you idiot. When you’re sober, we’ll talk.” I placed his keys down on the end table before walking out.

             
“Don’t leave me, Annie! Don’t go with him! Don’t do it! You’ll regret it! He can’t make you feel like I do!”

I kept walking towards the door, closing it behind Brian and me.

              “Please explain why we just did that,” Brian asked, clearly pissed.

             
“Think of it this way. It was your last act of mercy before you take me back home and spoil me for any other man.” My hands slid up along his abdominal muscles as I smiled hungrily.

             
“So, I stole his girl, did I?” Men and their pride. I nodded, forcing a smile. He leaned forward, kissing my forehead.

             
“Let’s go.” He took my hand, pulling me along out of the building and into the street. I said goodnight to Chuck as I jogged to try and keep up with Brian’s pace. Five blocks later, we were in his elevator, and butterflies flew around in the pit of my stomach. The elevator music wasn’t doing a thing to calm my nervousness.

             
With my hand still in his, he pulled me off the elevator, yanking his keys out of his pocket. Opening the door, he pulled me in, locking the door behind us. He yanked his sweatshirt off, throwing it onto a barstool in his kitchen. He took my hand again, pulling me into the bedroom. He kicked off his shoes, and there was this excitement about him that I had never quite seen before. I kicked my shoes off as he walked over kissing me so hard; he nearly took my breath away. I pulled away after a moment trying to catch my breath, his hands on the bottom of my shirt. “May I?” he asked, and I nodded, trying to catch up to his franticness. He had gone from zero to sixty in seconds and I was still on maybe fifteen. He yanked my shirt off my body, throwing it to the ground. He stared at me, wide eyed. I felt uncomfortable under his intense gaze.

             
“Holy crap. This is really happening, isn’t it?” he asked.

             
“Uh, I think so,” I replied.

My reply caused him to look up at me.

              “I’m sorry. You’re just so…” he didn’t finish that statement, instead capturing my mouth, walking backwards towards the bed. We slowly declined onto the bed, Brian still kissing me, as we lay down. His hands were everywhere, and mine threaded through his hair. He started kissing down my neck and I sunk into the comfort of his bed. My hands moved to his shirt and I pulled it over his head. My hands then massaged his back, running up and down his muscles.  I loved the feel of him.

He kissed me over my bra, taking gentle nips at my nipple. I groaned, flipping him over, kissing down his stomach.

I made it down to the strings of his sweat pants, and pulled down his pants and boxers, pulling them off, tossing them to the ground. I saddled between his legs as I took his now flaccid manhood into my mouth.

             
I tried everything. Every single tip or trick that I knew. There had been no change whatsoever despite his gasps, groans, and utterances. But, by that point my jaw ached.

             
Finally, I asked, “Brian, is there something that you like?”

His eyes were shut tight as he breathed heavily.

              “No, that feels incredible.”

             
“Maybe we should try something else, though,” I suggested and his eyes opened, looking down at me. He seemed to understand because he sat up, placing his hands underneath my arms, flipping me onto the bed. I landed on his pillow as he began kissing down my neck, across the tops of my breasts before I asked, “What’s wrong?”

             
“I’m, um,” he looked sideways, not meeting me eyes. “having some performance anxiety.”

             
“Why?” I asked, and he sighed, resting his head on my breasts. “Because my head is all over the place. I’m thinking about a million things. The stuff Ryan said in the elevator, everything that happened tonight, what this means, trying to make it incredible, along with a hundred other thoughts,” he said.

             
“Can we not mention Ryan while I’m naked in bed with you?” I asked.

             
“Right, well, yeah. I’m just a little worked up right now,” he said

             
“Are you sure that it’s not…” I didn’t know how to finish that honestly. What I wanted to ask was, “Are you sure that it’s not me?”

I was already nervous and worked up about my lack of experience.  Surely, Brian was lying to me to spare my feelings.

              “I just need to forget about everything. I’ll be fine soon,” he murmured while kissing down my stomach. I was completely out of the mood now, my mind screaming, ‘You’re fat! You’re fat! And now Brian knows! You can’t even give him an erection!’

             
“Why don’t we just cuddle for a while?” I asked, and he glanced up at me, his head cocked. He went to open his mouth, but closed it. Finally, he said, “Well, we’re going to have to get you naked too, then.” I scrambled to stand up, walking out to the hallway, turning out the light so that the apartment was now completely dark. Perhaps if he couldn’t see me, I could get this night back on track. I stripped my clothes off before getting back in bed.

             
“Why did you do that?” he asked, his voice concerned.

The answer was pretty obvious, but I wasn’t admitting to it.

              “The light was hurting my eyes.”

             
“Ahuh.” His tone tells me he knows it was bullshit.

His mouth moved back to my breasts, his hand fondling me, his tongue sweeping across my skin in a circular motion.

              I couldn’t get my head back into the moment though and after a few more minutes, I said, “Let’s get under the covers.”

             
He sighed, and I heard the resignation in his voice. “Alright.”

             
We slipped under the covers as I lay on top of his chest. His hand ran through my hair, as I lay there. Pillow talk started then; it wasn’t difficult for Brian and me to find something to talk about. We were talking about nothing of consequence then skirting any issue concerning us or the night. Hours later, Brian fell asleep as I lay there staring at the ceiling.

             
I couldn’t deal with what would come in the morning, so I slipped out of bed and dressed. Walking into the kitchen, I wrote on a notepad:

Boss called.
Needs me to come in early. Won’t be able to exercise today. Sorry.

             
I felt like an ass, but there was no way that I would exercise with him after our malfunction of last night. It was childish, but I felt convinced that something about me was causing him not to be able to perform.  I slipped out of the apartment and into the night. I headed home to find Ryan snoring. I was exhausted, so I pulled out the couch bed. It was three a.m.  I slept for four hours before getting up, released a sleeping Ryan from his cuffs, and got ready for work.  I packed the now cool cookies up in the boys’ care packages, taping them up, and marking them for delivery.

I heard my phone buzzing. I took it out seeing that Brian texted me:

Have a nice time with Max tonight.

I frowned at my phone, my heart clenching painfully. One thing I was painfully sure of: I missed my best friend.

**

              “Annie, there you are!” Max called out to me from the steps of the art gallery. I was pretty sure we were in SoHo, but not positive, since I got lost twice on the way there and couldn’t bring myself to call Brian to help me out. The GPS was useless because it told me to turn left into the side of a building.

             
“Hey Max,” I said, walking up to him. He held his hands out to embrace me, kissing my cheek before handing me a mixed bouquet. “How are you? Thanks for the flowers.” I sniffed them for a moment, smiling at the floral scent. “They’re beautiful.”

             
“You’re welcome. Work’s killing me. Other than that, I’m okay. You?” I smiled tightly. “How are you holding up? I heard the breakup with Ryan was dramatic.”

             
I nodded. “It wasn’t pleasant.”

             
After a short pause, Max said, “Well, Brian must be ecstatic. He must have made a move on you by now.”

             
I froze, staring at Max. “Was I the only one who didn’t know?” He nodded, trying not to smile. I groaned, rubbing my forehead.

             
“I take that to mean yes, he did make his move. How was it?” he asked. 

             
“It was great.” I tried forcing emotion into my words. 

             
“No, it wasn’t,” he said, chuckling, “Really, it was that bad? I’d think with five years of his pent up passion, he would have just exploded on you.” I cringed at his choice of words. I wished he
had
exploded on me.

             
I shrugged. “It was a complicated situation.” I hoped that he’d leave it be.

             
“Well, whatever happened between you two, it’s clear that he’s still crazy about you,” he said while we walked up the steps of the museum.

             
“Why do you say that?”  Max looked taken aback by my loud, abrupt exclamation.

             
“Because he sent me a text today that I was to be good to you, or I’d have to deal with him,” he answered.

I started crying right there on the steps of the museum. After everything I put him through, this was how Brian acted. 

              “Annie, what’s wrong?” Max asked.

             
“It’s a total mess.  Ryan is a lying, cheating scumbag. Now I’ve just lost my best friend.” I broke out into louder sobs.

             
“Let’s go sit down,” he told me and he steered me towards a bench. He rubbed my back as I cried with my head in my hands. I had to be the worst date
ever
.  I lasted a whole eighty seconds before bursting into tears. Once I finally controlled my sobs, I glanced up, seeing Max staring at a gorgeous man wearing tight, leather pants. It clicked in my head, and I gasped.  Nearly five years, I couldn’t believe I didn’t realize already.

             
“You’re gay?” I asked.

             
“Of course not!” he yelled, looking around frantically. My brows rose to my hairline. “Please don’t tell anyone.” His eyes plead with me.

             
“Your secret is safe with me,” I said, wiping away tears.

             
“Really?” He looked shocked.

             
I nodded. “How you live your life is your decision. You don’t ever have to hide who you are around me. I love you for exactly who you are.”

             
“Oh, thank God.” He sighed with relief. “Will you fake be in a relationship with me? I think people are starting to get suspicious.”

             
“Sure, I’ll be your pretend girlfriend. But, I want something in exchange.”  He nodded, encouraging me to tell him. “I need a new best friend because I made out with my last one and now have feelings for him.”

             
“Well, aren’t you just becoming the whore of the month?” he teased. I nodded in agreement, biting my lower lip.

             
“Alright, deal. But, if we’re going to become BFFs, I need you to tell me the truth about everything that’s happened. Also, you can linger on the details like what Ryan really looks like shirtless and if Brian is as much of a selfless lover as I’ve heard.” I blinked at his request. This would take some getting used to- knowing that my straight friend Max curved a bit to the left.