William Shakespeare's The Phantom Menace (18 page)

'Tis plain we are in trouble. Pray, hold fast!

This battle is my first, may be my last!

[Exeunt
.

[
aside:
] Thus far the battle is not ours or theirs.

Their tanks could not pull down our mighty shield,

Yet now have they made breach with countless droids.

I ne'er imagin'd such a massive force

As that the Federation did release.

'Twas hundred, nay 'twas thousands of the droids,

All lin'd up rank on rank to work us woe.

'Twas more than we could bear—thus we retreat.

We flee, but still the fool hath crafty tricks.

A battle droid lies broken on the ground,

Yet blaster shall not come loose from its grasp.

Thus, jump upon it now, and trigger fire,

Destroying other droids that are nearby!

This fool is not so foul against a foe.

Clutch tightly, hands, around the catapult,

Releasing all the power'd spheres within.

Though they are meant to fly into the air,

They do as well a'rolling on the ground

And striking our grim enemies mid-spin.

Now for the final act, the fool's finale

Make use of this small sphere, a boomer, aye,

And strike this droid and his vast battle tank.

The droid hath been defeated, but alack—

We are surrounded by a thousand more.

No gibben up now, General Jar Jar,

For meesa tink of something.

—Hands aloft!

o, meesa do surrender quickee!

[Jar Jar Binks, Captain Tarpals, and other Gungans freeze as they are surrounded by battle droids
.

Enter
P
ADMÉ
, C
APTAIN
P
ANAKA
,
and
N
ABOO SOLDIERS
,
stage center, fighting with
BATTLE DROIDS
.

Good Captain, we've but little time for this—

The droids do not concern us. Only shall

The viceroy's capture and defeat give us

The victory we sorely need today.

Let us, then, by another path make way.

[Captain Panaka shoots the windows
.

Your Highness, go! As 'twere a wingèd bird,

Our group shall to the throne room make ascent,

Brave soldiers, let fly your ascension guns!

[Padmé, Captain Panaka, and Naboo soldiers rise to the balcony with pulleys
.

Make entrance to the throne room, where we shall

Our enemies with arm of valor meet.

We go with you, my queen—would die with you!

Enter
DROIDEKAS AND BATTLE DROIDS
on balcony, threatening
.

Your wish may be, O captain valiant.

They now have won, if temporarily.

[Padmé, Captain Panaka, and Naboo soldiers are escorted to the throne room
.

Enter
N
UTE
G
UNRAY
and
R
UNE
H
AAKO
.

Your tiny insurrection makes its end

E'en now, Your Highness of conspiracy.

You shall anon put writing hands to use

And sign the treaty ere the hour is o'er.

In doing so, you give us victory

And cease the Senate's meaningless debate.

Enter
S
ABÉ
dressed as Queen Amidala and other
N
ABOO
S
OLDIERS
.

Cruel Viceroy, hear the rightful queen's decree:

Your occupation shall conclude at once!

Pursue her, droids! [
Indicating Padmé:
] This one's a decoy rank!

O clever ruse—but shall not be for long!

[Exeunt Sabé and Naboo soldiers, pursued by droidekas and battle droids
.

Act swiftly, Captain—we shall win the day!

I prithee, men, block all the exits out.

[The soldiers shut the doors
.

Perhaps you did believe that as I am

A ruler young, I'd not bring you defeat.

Yet in the present moment you'll discern

The meaning of my generation's strength.

Not made for weakness or timidity,

My rule is one of wisdom past my years.

The youth whom you did think to overthrow

Is now the queen who ends your treachery.

Thus shall we here a treaty new devise,

Wherein you part forever from Naboo.

[Exeunt Padmé, Captain Panaka, Nute Gunray, Rune Haako, and soldiers
.

Enter
A
NAKIN
S
KYWALKER
and
R2-D2,
stage right
.

Woo, nee!

—We have been hit, R2, we fall!

[Anakin flies inside the Federation's droid control ship
.

Confus'd within this ship, but not yet slain.

I fain would stop, but cannot seem to do't!

At last, collaps'd inside an unkind ship,

Full many battle droids approach me now.

Still, all's not lost, R2 restoreth pow'r.

Pray, put the strong shields up for our defense,

Then perish, droids, with sweet torpedo's kiss!

[Anakin fires at the droids, then fires into the hallway leading to the reactor
.

[
aside:
] The boy, by chance, hath hit th'reactor main!

[
To Anakin:
] Beep, squeak, meep, whistle, whistle, beep, meep, hoo!

I see it, R2—let us fly with haste!

Enter
D
AULTAY
D
OFINE
and
T
EY
H
OW
,
aside
.

The ship is losing power, sir! The main

Reactor fails.

—Nay, 'tis impossible!

Enter
R
IC
O
LIÉ
and other
PILOTS
.

2 Behold that blast—it cometh from within!

'Twas not our shot that did so smite the ship.

1 And still, I'll warrant, we shall not complain.

Hurrah!

—We fly beyond its walls, R2—

This truly is what podracing should be!

1 Look, sir, 'tis one of ours from the main hold.

[The Federation ship explodes, killing Daultay Dofine, Tey How, and droids
.

The victory is ours, let us make cheer!

[Exeunt Anakin Skywalker, R2-D2, Ric Olié, and pilots. Amid the Gungans stage left, the droids fail
.

What ho? Was'n they doin' failin'?

The droid control ship hath just been destroy'd!

Ha! They all broke-ed. We be savee!

[
Aside:
] And if they triumph thither, on Naboo,

Two peoples shall be join'd in union true.

[Exeunt Jar Jar Binks, Captain Tarpals, and Gungans in merriment
.

He parries with such speed as doth amaze—

I ne'er have seen a Jedi move this quick.

'Tis like the crash of thunder when it sounds,

Or like the wind that rushes through the hills.

When once I think I've caught him, he doth fly

With stamina most awesome to behold.

I almost would his sprightly moves admire

Were they not us'd to strike upon my life.

A double lightsaber he wields with ease,

Each end a deadly kiss of viper's tongue.

How like a snake he slithers from our grasp

And snaps at us with kicks and jabs severe.

He knocketh Master Qui-Gon down, whilst I

In vain do seek to gain the upper hand.

Then I am knock'd as well, as Qui-Gon fights.

With such proficiency this Sith doth use

The Force to duck and dodge and move things, too.

Shall this be th'end, or shall we yet prevail?

Ha, by these two I'll not defeated be.

This old man here and his apprentice weak

Are no match for the infamous Darth Maul!

Were it but one against me here 'twould be

Already done—the Jedi would be slain

And I stand tall, triumphant. Yet the two

Present a challenge—hap'ly I do greet it!

Come, fools, deliver unto me your lives!

The power generator cavity

Unknowingly we three have stumbl'd 'pon.

He thumps on Obi-Wan, who falls below

Onto another platform. Feel my blow!

I fall, yet do not fear the landing, nay—

For falling is but prelude to a climb.

Ere he hath from the dais jump'd to me,

I'm on my feet, for battle well prepar'd.

Methinks I did unto this chasm profound

Near lose my life. More careful I must be!

Now Qui-Gon is alone to fight the beast,

And I must soon return to give him aid.

Into a hall of rays I have been press'd,

Such rays as shall a person slice in twain.

The lightsabers with which we fight are naught

Compar'd to fiery blaze of these sharp lights.

[A beam appears between Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul
.

Behold—my master and the wretched Sith

Are separated by a deadly beam,

Whilst I am well behind, too far to strike.

The Sith doth pace about, much like a cat,

Whilst Qui-Gon kneels and with the Force communes.

[
kneeling:
] Be still, my soul, the Force is on thy side.

Be silent, heart, and let thy raging cease.

Be quiet, mind, and to this time assent.

Be calm, my body, take the proffer'd rest.

I know not whether I may yet prevail,

Or if this shall become old Qui-Gon's end.

If I defeat this foe, still doubts remain:

Who is behind this killer's presence here?

And how did they arise again, the Sith?

'Twould be a better ending if I could

Subdue the foe and question him at length.

Yet murther is within his aspect. Yea,

He shall not let me live another hour

And shall not answer any query pos'd.

'Tis he or I shall live—or die—herein.

Ye Jedi ancestors, hear now my plea:

If I do slay him, help us find the source

Of this most strange and frightful newfound threat.

If 'tis my time to die, let it be swift

And painless, let my spirit fly with grace.

I think upon the things that I have done,

And those things yet undone that I would do,

Mayhap they shall not be, when I am gone.

A tragic and a weighty thought is this.

Mine only cares are for the wondrous boy,

And for my young apprentice, Obi-Wan,

And for the Jedi in whose name I serve.

If now the time for me is come, O ghosts

Of Jedi past and gone, I ask but this:

Protect my friends, for they are all my life.

I must prepare, the beam shall disappear.