Wilder (The Renegades) (23 page)

“Leah?”

“I was thinking that jumping off a cliff is one way to fall for someone.” Ludicrous, but so fitting.

“You falling for me, Firecracker?” he asked softly, an unnamable emotion passing over his face.

Jumping off the cliff was definitely preferable to this conversation. I wasn’t ready to reveal any of my feelings, and I knew he wasn’t nearly ready to hear them. Throwing the
L
word into our relationship was the most surefire way to kill it.

Sure, I’ll date you.

Oh, by the way, I’m in love with you, too.

Yeah. No.

“I kind of like you,” I said instead.

Now he was the one laughing. “Yeah, I kind of like you, too.”

“Wilder!” Landon called from where they were all lined up at the cliff’s edge. “You coming, or what?”

Paxton looked to me. “Well, do you choose the jump? Or the ‘or what’?”

I was torn. What if I got up there and chickened out? What if something happened on the way down? What if I broke my ankle on the landing, or I puked all over Paxton?

But what if I didn’t do it?

Brooke was right, I’d never get this chance again. And besides, Rachel would have already harnessed up.

Paxton would keep me safe.

“Let’s jump.” The words came out of my mouth before I could think.

His face lit up. “Let’s jump.”

A few minutes later, Paxton knelt, putting me into the harness he’d double- and triple-checked, sliding the straps up over the leggings I’d changed into. “I like these,” he said with a smirk as he ran his hands up my thighs.

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, my eyes fixed on the edge of the cliff, where Penna and Brooke had already jumped. “Don’t you want to watch them?” I asked.

He shook his head, adjusting my straps. “Nope, they’re not my priority at the moment.”

“You sure know how to make a girl feel protected.”

He rose up before me, adjusting the shoulder straps with a quirk of his lips. “Hang around. In a few minutes I’ll sweep you off your feet.”

Only he could make me laugh right before I was about to endanger my life.

Once our helmets were snapped and I was clicked into Paxton’s harness, we stepped to the edge. The view was unparalleled. The half-moon beach below was only accessible by the boat waiting offshore, the white sand meeting the greens and blues of the water in stunning contrast. In the middle lay a shipwreck, and I couldn’t help but wonder how many jumpers it had seen.

“You ready?” Paxton asked behind me.

My heart lurched into my throat, and I had that same feeling as I did before the zip-line, knowing that something terrifying but amazing was about to happen. “You’ll keep me safe?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Always,” he answered, our helmets bumping as he leaned forward to kiss my cheek.

“Let’s go.”

“On three,” he said.

“Okay.”
Dear God, please don’t let me die doing something as stupid as this. I’ll be a good person. I’ll go to church, and rescue a dog from a shelter, and call my parents every Saturday, just don’t let me die.

“One.”

I’ll volunteer at homeless shelters.

“Two.”

I’ll tutor kids at an inner-city school. Or do my best to broker world peace. Yeah. One of those.

“Three.”

In perfect rhythm, we jumped.

My stomach dropped as we did, adrenaline flooding my veins. With each heartbeat, I cut another piece of my fear free, let it fall, and hoped I never caught up with it again.

The chute rippled out behind us, and our descent instantly slowed. The warm breeze caressed my face, and I took in gulping breaths as the sheer perfection of the moment overwhelmed me. It was beautiful—the view, the jump, the fearlessness, and Paxton behind me, steadily guiding us.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“There are no words,” I answered.

“Exactly,” he said, wonder in his voice. “Remember to bend your knees when we land. I’ll try to do most of the work.”

A few seconds later we hit the beach. The whole thing took less time than I’d spent debating actually doing it. But it was something I’d never forget, something that could never be taken away from me.

Paxton cut our chute loose and unhooked me. “You okay?” he asked as I spun in his arms.

I raised up, kissing him, slipping my tongue past his teeth and hoping he’d taste the euphoria running through me, the gratitude I had that he’d pushed me but hadn’t pressured me.

Unlike Barcelona, this time he responded, tilting his head to get past our helmets and wrapping me in his arms.

“Thank you,” I said, my smile uncontrollable.

“No, thank you,” he said, kissing me again. “Your trust means the world to me.”

“Leah!” Penna yelled, running over to us and hugging me. I was swamped by Brooke, Landon, and a couple of the other Renegades until secure in Paxton’s arms, I was the center of a group hug.

“Welcome to the Renegades, Firecracker,” he whispered in my ear.

Nothing had ever sounded more like home.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Paxton

At Sea

Leah was going to kill me.

I was officially ten minutes late for the before-class conference Dr. Westwick had requested, because the production meeting ran late. Physics wasn’t anything I was worried about, but his email had sounded anything but friendly.

My hand paused on the door when I heard Leah’s voice from inside the classroom.

“I’ll get knocked down an entire grade if you do that,” she said, sounding more worried than when I’d stuck her on the zip-line.

“It’s not me doing anything, Miss Baxter. You missed the quiz because you failed to return to the ship in time. There are consequences to your actions.”

Asshole.

I walked into the classroom, Leah’s immediate look of relief transforming to annoyance when she checked her watch.

“Production meeting ran late,” I said as way of explanation as I leaned against the desk she stood next to.

“Not even an apology, Mr. Wilder?” Dr. Douchebag snapped.

“Apologizing would mean that I wish it hadn’t happened and I’d do my best to not let it happen again. Seeing as we were discussing the safety of our upcoming stunt, I’m not sorry that it took longer than expected, and as for intending to never be late…well, I know myself better than to make that kind of promise.”

Leah sighed.

“Well, be that as it may”—he looked at me over his glasses—“when you neglected to get back to the
Athena
on time, you missed two of my classes, including a quiz.”

“Yes,” I agreed.

“Seeing as you chose not to be where you were supposed to, I’m under no obligation to let you take the quiz, and I see no reason to let you.”

“But, sir, every other professor has agreed to let us turn in all the work due in the next few days,” Leah said, her voice calm and rational, but her fingers rubbed her shirt. She was nervous as hell.

“Well, I’m not any of the other professors, am I? Every other student made it back to the ship. Every other student is here for their education, not for some adrenaline-fueled vacation.”

“That’s hardly fair,” Leah started.

“That’s bullshit,” I finished.

“Excuse me?” Dr. Westwick turned his wrath on me, where I’d rather it have been in the first place.

“Miss Baxter is on board for her education. She’s stuck tutoring me to keep her scholarship, and it’s not fair to punish her because she was assigned to me. None of this was her fault. I’m the one who caused us to be late returning to the ship. It was my fault, and if she wasn’t a work-study student, she wouldn’t have been there with me. It’s hugely unjust to punish her for something she had no control over—something she has to endure because she wants this education.”

His narrowed gaze jumped between Leah and me. “And I’m supposed to cut you a break because your father owns this ship?”

Leah sucked in her breath, and I cringed. Shit. I was going to have to dig out of that hole as soon as we were alone. Meanwhile, I could set this asshole straight and salvage Leah’s grade. “No. I don’t expect any leniency. I knew the rules. I’m just asking that you not punish someone for not being able to afford the education I take completely for granted—for having to work her way through this trip.”

He rubbed his fingers on the bridge of his nose, moving his glasses up and down. “Fine. Miss Baxter, you may take the quiz after class today.”

Her knuckles whitened on her shirt. We’d only been back on board for a day; there was no way she’d studied. “Can she have a day to study?” I asked.

“Don’t press my buttons, Mr. Wilder.”

“Paxton, it’s fine,” she said under her breath as the first of the students filed in for class.

“Good, then I’ll be ready for you after class. Mr. Wilder, you do not get afforded the same luxury.” He turned, dismissing us as he headed toward his desk.

“He’s such an asshole,” I said as I sat in the desk I’d been propped on.

“Your dad owns the ship?” she threw back, taking her seat next to me.

Shit. “No. I mean, he owns the company that owns the ship, but—”

“That company isn’t public, so yes, your dad owns the ship.” She slammed her notebook on the desk.

“My dad owns the ship,” I agreed.

“And that’s why you can build a half-pipe in the theater and no one blinks. Why you have the biggest suite, and a work-study kid like me gets into the second biggest suite. Because it’s your ship.”

“My dad’s company’s ship.”

She glared at me.

“Yeah. All of that.”

She flipped through her binder, scanning her detailed notes from previous classes. “What are we going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

She looked over at me, exasperation written on every line of her gorgeous features. “I’m going to fail this quiz, but at least it’s more points than I would have gotten if he didn’t let me take it. What are we going to do about you? Or did you forget that my fate is tied to yours?”

If the desk hadn’t been between us, I would have kissed the look off her face. Partly because I hated the worry lines between her eyebrows, and mostly because I loved kissing her. “Don’t worry about me. This is the one class I can afford to take the hit.”

“How? I’m struggling to keep a ninety-one in this class.”

“I have a hundred. I think that’s why Dr. Douche hates me so much. That, and I’m an entitled bastard.”

“You have a hundred? How?” Her mouth dropped. Now I really wanted to kiss her, and that familiar stirring in my shorts was damn inconvenient.

“It’s Application of Physics. A two-hundred level class. I’m a senior with four-hundred level physics classes. Not to mention…it’s physics. It’s literally what my life depends on.” Physics was easy. Laws, mathematics, rules that all made sense. It was the liberal arts that screwed me. I hated when shit was left up to interpretation.

“Then why are you even taking this class?” she asked, her mouth still agape.

“I had room for an elective,” I said with a shrug.

She shook her head at me.

Fuck it.
I leaned across the desk, grabbed the back of her neck, and pulled her into a quick, hard kiss, uncaring that I’d just gone ship-wide public with our relationship.
That’s right, guys. The gorgeous, smart girl is mine.
I broke the kiss before she could respond, and grinned. “I took the class because you did.”

“Oh.” She nodded slowly.

“Are we okay about the ship thing?” I had to know.

“Exactly how much money do you have?” she asked, incredulous.

“Would it matter if I didn’t have any?”

She shook her head.

“Then it doesn’t matter how much I do have, right?”

“It doesn’t matter. I just wish you’d told me. I hate finding out stuff secondhand, especially about you, and you know how important honesty is to me.”

My gut twisted. She didn’t even know the half of it.

“That’s fair. What are you thinking?”

She sighed wistfully. “The
Athena
. Your dad still loves your mom.”

I swallowed and looked forward as Dr. Douche took the podium. “Love. Yeah, well, it’s never done either of them any good, has it?”

She winced, but the lecture started before I could ask her why.

But there was something in the way she leaned slightly away that made me wish I’d kept my mouth shut.

That was a first.

…

“At least pretend to have a good time,” Bobby instructed before walking away. Landon rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his beer.

The pounding bassline in the ship’s club was usually enough to distract me, but this was the last place I wanted to be. Now the challenge would be if I could make it look like I felt the opposite.

“He’s still pissed that we had to cancel the Istanbul shoot when you bruised your ribs.”

“Yeah, well, not as pissed as I was.” I polished off my Newcastle, and when Landon ordered another, I opted for water. I only had to sit here another hour or so before I could spend the rest of my evening worshipping Leah’s body, and that deserved my full concentration.

Landon’s was on the two Sorority-Girl Barbies eyeing us. I wanted to say something to him about not fucking every girl on the ship, about not trying to feed the emptiness with meaningless hookups, but considering I was the one who put him in that situation, it wasn’t my…
You know what? Fuck it.

“So have you thought about slowing it down on that track?” I asked, motioning to where one of the girls giggled at his come-get-me grin.

He shrugged and started peeling the label on his empty bottle. “Not really.”

“I know we don’t talk about it”—his eyes flashed in my direction—“but I’m going to say this once and let it hang there. You’re not going to find the answer to missing her underneath that girl’s dress, or the one after her, or the one right after her.”

“I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. I’m fine.” The hard I-will-kill-you look he threw at me said otherwise.

“Right. Well—”

“Drop it,” he growled. A second later his Casanova smile was in place, ready to woo another Band-Aid for his still-hemorrhaging heart.

“You’re Wilder, aren’t you?” Sorority-Girl Barbie number one asked me, leaning close to be heard over the pounding bass in the ship’s club.

“I am,” I answered with my expected grin.

Mischief Lounge was full because it was a Friday night, which meant no classes tomorrow. It was our only day in Athens, and I’d promised Leah we’d do all the artsy stuff she wanted, as long as we could pause to play a game of human Zorb Ball bowling in the Olympic Stadium for the cameras. And then, of course, we’d be holed up the rest of the weekend to get the massive amount of make-up work done that we’d missed while in Mykonos.
Worth it.

But for now, I was on Wilder duty, playing the bad-boy card so Bobby could get his shots in.

“I’m Candy,” she said with a dentist-white smile and fuck-me eyes, then motioned over her shoulder. “And this is my friend, Jules.”

“Nice to meet you,” I answered. On the opposite side of the booth, Landon was looking at Jules like he’d discovered his weekend. Typical.

“Do you mind?” she asked as she sat on the spare three inches between me and the edge.

I moved over so she didn’t fall on her ass. “Not at all,” I answered, because that’s what I was supposed to do, especially given the microphones right behind us in the fake-as-hell lotus flowers.

Jules made herself at home on Landon’s lap.

If Candy thought she’d pull the same shit, she was sorely mistaken. Damn it, I should have had the talk with Leah today, but she’d been spastic over academics. I couldn’t exactly go documentary-public without her saying yes. Everything they’d caught in Mykonos I could have edited out with the right amount of leverage.

“Ooh!” Candy exclaimed, her boobs bouncing in her tight pink tank top as she flagged the waitress down. “Can we get shots?” She sent me a sideways glance. “Maybe some Sex on the Beach?”

Fucking spare me. It wasn’t like I could turn her down on camera.

“Sounds good,” I said with a nod to the waitress. “Thank you.”

“So why do they call you Wilder?” Candy asked, her hand disturbingly close to my thigh. Usually I’d be all for it. Why not spend a night with a gorgeous woman and no strings attached?

But now I had Leah, and Candy was no Leah.

“It’s my last name,” I answered.

She pouted. “Is that really all there is?”

“Because he’s always up for any trick or any challenge. He’s got a wild streak a mile wide,” Landon answered.

“I like wild,” Candy said, moving even closer.

I slid another six inches away.

“And why are you Nova?” her friend asked.

“Casanova has a way with the ladies,” I helped him out. Not that Landon needed any help. Hell, he needed someone to yank back the leash and remind him who he was underneath the man-whore. It just sucked that the reminder was going to come at the cost of my own relationship.

She’ll understand if you tell her,
one part of me argued.

You blew past the honesty door, bud. Enjoy this while it lasts,
the other added.

But losing Leah… God, I couldn’t even think about it. A feeling between vomit-worthy nausea and midnight-black sorrow possessed my body every time the reminder crept in that I’d already fucked up the best thing I’d ever had.

“So I can see,” Candy said while her friend giggled.

I ran my thumb down my glass of ice water, wiping away a streak of condensation. Was this really how I’d spent my nights before coming on the
Athena
? Is this what had made me happy?

Hell, had I actually
been
happy?

Busy, yes. Challenged, sure. My life was demanding, and awesome at times, but I couldn’t remember feeling…happy. Not in the way I had been these last few days.

“…don’t you think?” Candy asked, looking at me for a response to a question I hadn’t heard.

And that’s what I got for not listening.

“I think Wilder might disagree,” Landon answered, bailing me out with a discreet nod. “Sure, Bermuda was great, but I think he liked Mykonos the best.”

I took the cue. “Yeah, there is something to be said for the beaches there.”

“Speaking of sex,” Candy said as the waitress delivered our shots.

Nice segue.

“To making unforgettable memories with no regrets,” Candy said, raising her shot, “and no strings.” She turned her blue eyes on me, and I nodded, slamming back the sickly sweet shot while I prayed for patience.

“Well, you two look like your dance cards are full,” Penna said as she reached the table, decked out in club wear that screamed, “look, but touch and I’ll throat-punch you.” It was her specialty.

“Penna,” I said, trying to keep the relief out of my voice. She’d always been good at fending off attention when I wanted to be left alone.

“Well, maybe he saved room for one,” Leah said as she stepped out from behind Penna, and my mouth dropped.

Her hair was down, framing her heart-shaped face, and Penna had done something to her eye makeup to bring out the gold flecks in her eyes. Given the plunge of that black halter neckline, I would have said she dressed her, too.